# The Ubuntu Forum Community > Other Discussion and Support > Ubuntu Women >  Ever Get irritated with being mistaken for male online?

## Ms_Angel_D

I have had this happen to more times then I can count, I'll be posting in a forum and what not, and it seems to never fail, someone always ends up referring to me as a guy in some manner or another, am I alone in this or does it happen to other woman as well?

Is it because I'm a bit knowledgeable in computers and enjoy using them, or possibly because I like games (even the occasional FPS, BF2 Anyone?) I just get irritated with it sometimes.

Opinions, thoughts?

Angel

----------


## SpiffyBalak

Male is just the default gender online. 

I don't really mind it, because I get into lots of funny situations like this:

Salt: I mean, awesome you're the super king with all the great power and great responsibility.
Salt: I have women and money.
SpiffyBalak: what if you prefer men?
Salt: Well, SpiffyBalak.
Salt: That's something you have to come to terms with.
Salt: I dont know if the shoddy battle chat is the right place, though.
SpiffyBalak: I'm a girl
Salt: Oh.
shanx: <_<
shanx: ...

 :LOL:

----------


## elizabeth

> Opinions, thoughts?


One of my favorite articles about this subject is here:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/arti...teh-Intarweb-1

Brilliant  :Smile: 

I've also blogged about encountering the issue in tech channels, which is always fun for stirring up lively comment discussion:

http://princessleia2.livejournal.com/316456.html

...and proves I have a lot of wicked cool, supportive friends.

----------


## Ms_Angel_D

Thanks for the links Elizabeth I enjoyed reading both.

Stuff like this always reminds me of that scene from GI Jane where the black guy is telling her a story and the white dude is like I'm glad we've come a long way from that and the black dude is like "have we really?" I mean why do people have such a hard time believing that chick can be good at and enjoy techy stuff to..it's quite sad really.....

found this http://xkcd.com/322/ check it out..lol

----------


## elizabeth

> found this http://xkcd.com/322/ check it out..lol


In the #ubuntu-women IRC channel on irc.freenode.net (info about IRC here) we call that comic "Rule #322"  :Smile:

----------


## diwas

beauty doesnt have brains...but i guess this post umm disobeys the new-tonnes of laws.

hehe.

----------


## starcannon

> I have had this happen to more times then I can count, I'll be posting in a forum and what not, and it seems to never fail, someone always ends up referring to me as a guy in some manner or another, am I alone in this or does it happen to other woman as well?
> 
> Is it because I'm a bit knowledgeable in computers and enjoy using them, or possibly because I like games (even the occasional FPS, BF2 Anyone?) I just get irritated with it sometimes.
> 
> Opinions, thoughts?
> 
> Angel


If an online handle is gender neutral, I generally go with "male". I figure its either a guy, or a gal who is wanting not to be known as a gal for various reasons. Anyway, I try to be respectful to a degree, I refuse to go so far as to be P.C. though.

----------


## Sef

> If an online handle is gender neutral, I generally go with "male". I figure its either a guy, or a gal who is wanting not to be known as a gal for various reasons. Anyway, I try to be respectful to a degree, I refuse to go so far as to be P.C. though.


That's why I prefer to use they as singular.   On an historical note, they has been used as singular by people such as Chaucer and Shakespere.

----------


## Abras

Well, when I'm talking to a group online I tend to say "guys." While the term technically only refers to men it's commonly used to refer to a group that is made up of both males and females. And it's more casual than say "ladies and gentleman" or something like that. I suppose you could try to stay as politically correct as possible, but come on! This _is_ the Internet, so I think casual tolerance and acceptance is the best you can hope for.

----------


## Ms_Angel_D

> Well, when I'm talking to a group online I tend to say "guys." While the term technically only refers to men it's commonly used to refer to a group that is made up of both males and females. And it's more casual than say "ladies and gentleman" or something like that. I suppose you could try to stay as politically correct as possible, but come on! This _is_ the Internet, so I think casual tolerance and acceptance is the best you can hope for.


I'm not talking about generalization, even I when referring to a group of people I will use the phrase "You Guys".  What I'm referring to is the fact that someone blatantly refers to me as being male. Even after I've told them I was female they act their not sure whether to believe me or not.

I do see your point though, I just wonder why often times so many males have a hard time believing that a female could be on the internet, frequenting the same internet "Hang out" spots they do, such as a tech forum/chat, or FPS forum/chat. It seems to happen quite frequently and can be disturbing.

----------


## User3k

> Ever Get irritated with being mistaken for male online?


Not really since I am a male  :Wink: 

Wait.... Women know about computers? They know about Linux? They are smart? No way..... LMAO

I have a friend who knows about cars, I really don't except for basics (maybe advanced basics.) But she is the one that is the mechanic. I love going places with her or on the rare occasion where she has to bring her car to the shop. They look at me and start explaining everything like I know what they are talking about. They completely skip her over. We always get a laugh out of that.

I play a game, not sure if anyone here has heard about it  :Wink:  lol, called World of Warcraft. I decided to make a female character just for the fun of it. I was curious about something I started to pick up on. If you have a female character you are really treated differently. People that would normally be rude where actually being nice. Plus you get more people that want to do groups with you. I guess they think that female characters and male characters must mean the person playing them is the same gender. They must also think that in real life that those playing Taurens, Night elves, Undead, etc must really be Taurens, Night Elves, Undead etc. Guess they forgot what the RPG in MMORPG means, lol.

----------


## dE_logics

> Ever Get irritated with being mistaken for male online?


Hay!...you girls forgot chat rooms! There're many girls out there.

----------


## gabriella

> That's the internet for ya.
> 
> If one single comment like that put her off, she's wise to stay away. I'm making no excuse for the insulting assumption that she was lying about who she was -- although to be fair, that happens a lot online --  but I also don't think people should be so darn sensitive.


Maybe she was being a little too sensitive...I say _maybe?_. I would have stuck around longer. However, I don't think any man, even the best intentioned, can really truely understand what it's like at times.

----------


## dvwolfman

> I have had this happen to more times then I can count, I'll be posting in a forum and what not, and it seems to never fail, someone always ends up referring to me as a guy in some manner or another, am I alone in this or does it happen to other woman as well?
> 
> Is it because I'm a bit knowledgeable in computers and enjoy using them, or possibly because I like games (even the occasional FPS, BF2 Anyone?) I just get irritated with it sometimes.
> 
> Opinions, thoughts?
> 
> Angel


i can't blame you, I'm male and hate it when assumtions are made about me in general, it must be really annoying and invalidating, good point to bring it up, I hadn't thought about it before...found this post accidentally, was searching for something else, but more power to you for opening a discussion about it

----------


## Irihapeti

I feel uncomfortable about being mistaken for a male, because I then have to say something and the other person often ends up apologising and feeling a bit sheepish. I sometimes wonder if I give the impression of making a big deal out of it. Never mind, I realise that none of this is quite rational.  :Smile: 

What _really_ annoys me is the "granny" talk, as in "simple enough for granny to use". WHY do people assume that a woman over [insert age here] has got to be clueless and helpless? Certainly, some may be like that, but not all of us by any means.

Grrr, need to go and do something to lower my blood pressure....

----------


## dvwolfman

> I feel uncomfortable about being mistaken for a male, because I then have to say something and the other person often ends up apologising and feeling a bit sheepish. I sometimes wonder if I give the impression of making a big deal out of it. Never mind, I realise that none of this is quite rational. 
> 
> What _really_ annoys me is the "granny" talk, as in "simple enough for granny to use". WHY do people assume that a woman over [insert age here] has got to be clueless and helpless? Certainly, some may be like that, but not all of us by any means.
> 
> Grrr, need to go and do something to lower my blood pressure....


Age discrimination is a sad reality, I agree, good point. More people are going to be living longer, and I believe that initiatives have been put forth to protect older americans (not assuming you are American) in the workforce, if we can keep older people working past retirement, can we not respect them, too?  :Guitar:

----------


## Swagman

Ageism occurs to both sexes.

Young uns forget that it was the oldsters that invented the damn thing in the first place !!

----------


## aysiu

> Ageism occurs to both sexes.


 Ubuntu for grandma has 68,900 results. Ubuntu for grandpa has 37,600 results.

The first result in the first search is https://help.ubuntu.com/community/UbuntuForGrandma

Right now the https://help.ubuntu.com/community/UbuntuForGrandpa doesn't exist.

Ageism may occur for any sex, but sexism also occurs for any age.

----------


## elizabeth

> Ubuntu for grandma has 68,900 results.


On this subject, there was a great article on Linux.com a few years back:

It's time to retire the mom test

----------


## BoneKracker

> What I'm referring to is the fact that someone blatantly refers to me as being male. Even after I've told them I was female they act their not sure whether to believe me or not.


It's because you use such a butch operation system.  :Capital Razz:

----------


## Rasa1111

I mistakenly called Irihapeti "Bro" a few times,
and when I found out She was a Woman, I apologized..
and She didnt mind at all.  :Smile:  lol  <3

----------


## Irihapeti

> I mistakenly called Irihapeti "Bro" a few times,
> and when I found out She was a Woman, I apologized..
> and She didnt mind at all.  lol  <3


Yes, you are very polite, and it's a pleasure to help people like you.

The thing is, though, you didn't refuse to believe me when I told you. I gather, from reading previous messages in this thread, that others have been called liars (or something similar).

----------


## mobilediesel

> It's because you use such a *butch* operation system.


My good ol' dyslexia made that look like a different word there for a sec...  :Very Happy:

----------


## Rasa1111

> Yes, you are very polite, and it's a pleasure to help people like you.
> 
> The thing is, though, you didn't refuse to believe me when I told you. I gather, from reading previous messages in this thread, that others have been called liars (or something similar).


 :Smile:  thanks! 

ahh,  well, knowing how many (apologies in advance) 'retards' there are on the internet, lol
 that really would not surprise me. 

 They are all "pros" in whatever field they choose to gab about on the interwebs.  
And they 'know all'...
So I really _can_ see people doing that...

*"Irihapeti~* "Just so you know, I am a Woman"
*"Interweb geniuses"* " Sorry, but no you are not. I can tell a woman when I speak to one, and you are NOT a Woman, stop lying, you arent fooling anyone!"   :Laughing:

----------


## BoneKracker

> My good ol' dyslexia made that look like a different word there for a sec...


That's not "dyslexia".  I'd hate to see you do a Rorschach ink blot test.  :Laughing: 




> DR. TAYLOR
> Now then, each of these slides needs a reply from one of the people in the picture. You'll tell me what you think the person would say. Alright?
> 
> ALEX
> Righty, right.
> 
> _The doctor reads aloud the dialogue printed in the cartoon balloon ó a peacock._
> 
> DR. TAYLOR
> ...

----------


## macogw

> If one single comment like that put her off, she's wise to stay away. I'm making no excuse for the insulting assumption that she was lying about who she was -- although to be fair, that happens a lot online --  but I also don't think people should be so darn sensitive.


Ah yes, the solution to people being jerks is not to fix the jerks...it's to fix their targets.

Likewise, bullies should not be punished by the teacher for being bullies, but rather nerds should be punished for being nerdy enough to attract the bully's attention.

----------


## AbtZ

> Ah yes, the solution to people being jerks is not to fix the jerks...it's to fix their targets.
> 
> Likewise, bullies should not be punished by the teacher for being bullies, but rather nerds should be punished for being nerdy enough to attract the bully's attention.


A bit melodramatic, no?

She would have been fine trying to fix the jerks as well -- but that would take some time and effort on her part, which she obviously was not ready to put in. Mind you, sometimes the amount of time and effort required simply is not worth it on a personal level, so I'm not saying she did the wrong thing by walking away.

----------

