# The Ubuntu Forum Community > Ubuntu Community Discussions > Resolution Centre >  Really?

## swoll1980

I don't want to be a jerk, but come on. Link"Your breaking my balls" Is not a sexual reference. It is an Italian American idiom that means, "stop teasing me" it was a innocent response to a mob  joke made by another member. I know you are just trying to run a forum, but it's pretty bad when you can't have a little fun w/o worrying about getting an infraction.

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## matthew

Regardless of where you learned it, the phrase is derived as a reference to testicular pain.

You tend to push the rules, often intentionally. When a person chooses to live their life on the edge, they should expect to fall off occasionally. This time, you did.

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## swoll1980

How does testicular pain = sexual reference? The infraction was issued for making a sexual reference. The statement, under your own definition, is not a sexual reference. Even while taken out of context the statement is not sexual. So I guess it should be reversed huh? I don't feel "I live on the edge" all the infractions I get are ticky tack, like this one. I don't know what I did to you guys to make you come after me like this. There was a thread called "How many jokes can you make about this?" about a blond girl representing Linux in an imaginary ad. The whole thread was nothing, but sexual references, and not only did it remain open, but the mods were participating in it. I make a joke, that when even taken out of context, isn't a sexual reference, and I get railed for it.

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## matthew

I agree that "sexual reference" isn't precisely appropriate as a description for your post. These should clear up the problem.




> You agree not to post any abusive, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful, threatening, sexually-oriented material...


...even in jest.



> *Be respectful of all users at all times. This means please use etiquette and politeness. Treat people with kindness and gentleness. If you do this the rest of the code of conduct won't need more than a cursory mention.*

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## swoll1980

> I agree that "sexual reference" isn't precisely appropriate as a description for your post. These should clear up the problem.
> 
> ...even in jest.


I get it. If you can't get in through the front door, walk around to the back. You have your self a spectacular day.

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## matthew

> I get it. If you can't get in through the front door, walk around to the back. You have your self a spectacular day.


Um, no.

You have a long history of seeing how close to the line you can get. This time, you crossed it (again) and got in trouble. Don't blame that on the staff. You are responsible for your own decisions, for your own behavior, and for the infraction you received.

For future reference, posting an angry, passive-aggressive little snipe isn't a good way to win people to your opinion, but it can be an easy way to get in bigger trouble. These forums are pretty trivial in the scheme of things, but in real life this sort of behavior can cause a person big problems. I politely suggest you don't address people (teachers, a boss, etc.) like this in the real world; the consequences will be far greater than some silly infraction points that expire and don't actually do much of anything.

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## swoll1980

I just think you guys have to calm down a little. Chill out, relax, take a deep breath. It's really not that serious. You guys are wound up tighter than a happy meal toy. I know you have to try to be politically correct, but you guys take it to the extreme sometimes. I wasn't "walking the line" I would have never thought in a million years my silly statement  would have offended the Ubuntu mods. The thought had never even crossed my mind. It was such an innocent comment, how could I have foreseen such a thing? It's just sad that I have to walk on egg shells to participate on this forum.

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## KiwiNZ

This is a large very busy Forum. We adhere to the rules in order to make it better for all our members.

In the past when we have given an inch many take a mile. Therefore it is better not to give the inch.

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## matthew

swoll1980: you have five pages of infractions. Most forum members participate here without ever receiving a single infraction. We are not "wound too tightly". No, you simply have trouble following obvious and clear rules and are trying to place the blame on others.

Take responsibility for your own actions.

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## swoll1980

> swoll1980: you have five pages of infractions.


That's exactly my point. Five pages worth of infractions. It's not like I go around, all abrasive calling people names, or insulting people out right. I'm sure the members that have been here as long as me, or longer would never have a clue that I've racked up 5 pages worth of infractions, (other than my post here in the resolution center) and 95% of them are extremely subjective ticky tack things like this. There's not much more I can say, so I'll leave it alone, before I get in more hot water.

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## matthew

You have five pages of incredibly obvious instances of deliberate decisions not to follow clear rules. You agreed to follow the Forum CoC when you registered. If you find it impossible to do so, you don't have to participate in the forum.

Literally hundreds of thousands of forum members have never received a single infraction.

I think the trend you describe says far more about your choices than anything else.

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## swoll1980

> You have five pages of incredibly obvious instances of deliberate decisions not to follow clear rules. You agreed to follow the Forum CoC when you registered. If you find it impossible to do so, you don't have to participate in the forum.
> 
> Literally hundreds of thousands of forum members have never received a single infraction.
> 
> I think the trend you describe says far more about your choices than anything else.


The key words are obvious, and clear. Two things which the CoC are not.  Almost everything in there is subjective,  open to interpretation, and enforced sporadically, by several different moderators with different temperaments. You say obvious, and clear as if these things were a matter of fact. Maybe I'm just a big jerk. For some reason this is the only place in my life where I can't seem to get things right.

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## KiwiNZ

> The key words are obvious, and clear. Two things which the CoC are not.  Almost everything in there is subjective,  open to interpretation, and enforced sporadically, by several different moderators with different temperaments. You say obvious, and clear as if these things were a matter of fact. Maybe I'm just a big jerk. For some reason this is the only place in my life where I can't seem to get things right.


Please give me some samples and I will be happy to try and clarify for you.

Just a point though you could use as a reference point , would what I am about to do be OK with my grandparents or parents.

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## swoll1980

> Please give me some samples and I will be happy to try and clarify for you.
> 
> Just a point though you could use as a reference point , would what I am about to do be OK with my grandparents or parents.


The word vulgar is a perfect example. What is vulgar to you, may not be vulgar to me. To me "your breakin' my balls" isn't vulgar, and the first time I heard it, was probably from my late grandfather. When you have 25 guys in your family named Pauly, Vinny, and Sonny "your breakin' my balls" looses it's vulgarity.

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## KiwiNZ

The simple dictionary meaning is ...

*vul⋅gar*

  /ˈvʌlgər/   Show Spelled Pronunciation  [vuhl-ger]   Show IPA    adjective  1. characterized by ignorance of or lack of good breeding or taste: vulgar ostentation.  2. indecent; obscene; lewd: a vulgar work; a vulgar gesture.  3. crude; coarse; unrefined: a vulgar peasant.  4. of, pertaining to, or constituting the ordinary people in a society: the vulgar masses.  5. current; popular; common: a vulgar success; vulgar beliefs.  6. spoken by, or being in the language spoken by, the people generally; vernacular: vulgar tongue.  7. lacking in distinction, aesthetic value, or charm; banal; ordinary: a vulgar painting.  

I can understand your point, ones environment does affect ones understanding. However the interactions we have with a wider environment should also influence. 

Thus when you  have been a member here for a period of time the understanding of what is required is apparent. You have been a member for two years , therefore you should be aware of what is required here.

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## swoll1980

This is where the sporadic part comes in. According to the forum rules, and the definition of the word vulgar,  anytime anyone used the word "sucks" or "crap"  an infraction would be issued. The word "sucks" is just an abbreviation of "sucks penises" which is way more vulgar than anything I said, but is perfectly acceptable on these forums.  I'm not going to use the term "breakin' my balls anymore" because I  know now that it is not acceptable here . I just hate the way I had to find out about it.  I'm not saying what I said wasn't against the rules, just that when I said it, my intent wasn't to break the rules. That's what I want you guys to know, that when I break these rules it's not out of disrespect, or an unappreciation of these forums. It's just me being myself. Matthiew wants to portray me as some rouge, that can't behave himself, and that's just not the case. If I knew I was going to offend one of you, I wouldn't have said it.

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## matthew

> This is where the sporadic part comes in. According to the forum rules, and the definition of the word vulgar,  anytime anyone used the word "sucks" or "crap"  an infraction would be issued. The word "sucks" is just an abbreviation of "sucks penises" which is way more vulgar than anything I said, but is perfectly acceptable on these forums.  I'm not going to use the term "breakin' my balls anymore" because I  know now that it is not acceptable here . I just hate the way I had to find out about it.  I'm not saying what I said wasn't against the rules, just that when I said it, my intent wasn't to break the rules. That's what I want you guys to know, that when I break these rules it's not out of disrespect, or an unappreciation of these forums. It's just me being myself. Matthiew wants to portray me as some rouge, that can't behave himself, and that's just not the case. If I knew I was going to offend one of you, I wouldn't have said it.


If you had said any of this after a first infraction, it probably would have been reversed. If this were your second infraction, I would be very sympathetic. I just counted, this is the 21st infraction you have received. I'm actually shocked at our patience.

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## bodhi.zazen

Your points are well taken.

Please understand that there is some degree of judgment involved here. So it is not the words you use but the way you express yourself. We rely on the moderator staff to review posts and for some reason we keep getting complaints about your posts.

I think the problem is a failure to communicate. What the staff is concerned with, and what you seem to be missing in this conversation, is that your posting style is offensive at times.

We would like you to take ownership of your posting style and stop blaming the staff when we enforce the rules.

You have had sufficient interactions with the staff such that I find it hard to believe you do not understand the rules on these forums.

When you continue to post in an aggressive style, do not take ownership of your posts, and continue to post in an inappropriate way, this is what the staff is referring to as "pushing the envelope".

I think the staff has been very generous and patient in explaining the rules.

Now we expect you to follow them.

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## swoll1980

> If you had said any of this after a first infraction, it probably would have been reversed. If this were your second infraction, I would be very sympathetic. I just counted, this is the 21st infraction you have received. I'm actually shocked at our patience.


Well I probably have 6000, or so post on this forum, That's like 0.0035%, so  1 in every 300 post is marginally questionable.  Lets not go burning me on a stake, or nothing.

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## swoll1980

> Your points are well taken.
> 
> Please understand that there is some degree of judgment involved here. So it is not the words you use but the way you express yourself. We rely on the moderator staff to review posts and for some reason we keep getting complaints about your posts.
> 
> I think the problem is a failure to communicate. What the staff is concerned with, and what you seem to be missing in this conversation, is that your posting style is offensive at times.
> 
> We would like you to take ownership of your posting style and stop blaming the staff when we enforce the rules.
> 
> You have had sufficient interactions with the staff such that I find it hard to believe you do not understand the rules on these forums.
> ...


I will just act like I'm in a court room from now on. Then I should be fine. Yeah I understand what you guys are saying, I just find it hard to believe that anyone could truly be offended by the things that I say.  I imagine some one with no life, trolling the forum,  pressing the report button any time they see something, they think they can report. You will not see me in here again. I will tone it down.

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## matthew

> Well I probably have 6000, or so post on this forum, That's like 0.0035%, so  1 in every 300 post is marginally questionable.  Lets not go burning me on a stake, or nothing.


bodhi's post was beautifully worded and clear. Please re-read it.

EDIT: Never mind. The post above appeared as I was writing this one.

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## KiwiNZ

> .....I will tone it down.



Thank you very much , it is all we ask , then this will remain a great place for all , including you .

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## bodhi.zazen

> You will not see me in here again. I will tone it down.


I would like to thank you as well.

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## Technoviking

> Well I probably have 6000, or so post on this forum, That's like 0.0035%, so  1 in every 300 post is marginally questionable.  Lets not go burning me on a stake, or nothing.


There are many user who have thousands of posts with 0 infractions.

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