Tech Support Anecdotes!

[HangukMiguk]

Shock: Heh, yeah, I apparently I can't spell, according to the one I just remembered:

I get a call from a Russian fellow with a very thick Russian accent one night. He is having problems setting up the wireless on his laptop. He already has it hard-wired to the modem, which is at least a good start.

Now, we had a tool at Verizon called Go2Assist. It was similar to VNC except that it was a commercial program that allowed us to view and work on a customer's PC. We send a customer to a site on Verizon that lets them put in a code that we give them, and that code allows us to route to their computer and share their screen. Other features included a paintbrush, where we could draw on their screen, to direct them with steps, and even a flashlight that we could use to highlight things we were asking them to look at that they couldn't find.

When we can get our customer in Go2Assist, we do it. Calls go by SO MUCH FASTER if we can just do that.

Of course, the calls we REALLY need to do it on never allows it to happen. This is one said call.

I ask the guy to type in sharing.verizon.net, and he types it in as follows: sharing.verzon.net. What makes it worse is that he is speaking the words back to me as he types them, and pronounces Verizon perfectly. So when he gets a 404 error, I'm stunned.

I ask him to read it back to me, which is when I find out his spelling error.

Me: Ok, here's what we're going to do. Type in sharing.--:
Customer: Sharing DOT--
Me: V--
Customer: V--
Me: E--
Customer: E--
Me: R--
Customer: R--
Me: I--
Customer: Z--

There seems to be a breakdown in communication somewhere...

I then start trying to explain that he's spelling it wrong. He tells me that's not possible, and that perhaps it's me who is spelling it wrong. I inform that I work for Verizon, and have used their phone service for a decade, that I know how to spell the company name.

This guy, who has probably only been here five years, and spoken English that long, goes off into a SWEARING TIRADE, claiming that I was insulting his intelligence, and insinuating that he didn't know how to spell (He didn't use those exact words, or else I might have retracted the statement). He continues this rant for 5 minutes before I can get a word in edgewise.

BUT BEFORE HE DOES, he takes the IT-cake, and CHALLENGES ME TO A SPELLING BEE, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE! By now I'm just stammering and trying to stifle my laughter. Knowing that my laughbox is about to erupt any time, and knowing I'm going nowhere with this guy, I do the most logical thing in the world.

Me: Sir, who's the manufacturer of your computer.
Him: Dell.
Me: I'm going to have to transfer you to Dell, so that they can fix the problems with your computer so that we can initiate screen sharing with you.
Him: Ok.

I hope to God he can spell Dell. I know most of their support agents can't.

[HangukMiguk]

I was sitting next to one girl one night, who like me, was a computer supergeek. A lot of our shift was spent debating between which Linux distribution was more superior, and whether nVidia or ATI was the better graphic card chipset.

Yeah, nerd heaven, but I digress.

I'm sitting waiting for a call, while she was on one, and, while browsing FCP, I overheard her on a call:

Her: "2nd row of keys, 5th button. Now 3rd row of keys, 2nd button."

...Wait, what? Surely this isn't what I think it is...

...but, I as I look at her, she gives the biggest eyeroll I have ever seen in my life, thus assuring what I was thinking was true:

She was helping someone who was completely illiterate reset their password. God help us all.

I have mentioned many a time before that there should be an IQ test prior to being able to use the Internet. Many a flame war on various message boards as well as highly unintelligible websites such as this have proven this theory true. But this took the cake. People that can't even read a Stop sign are getting online to write gobbledygook for me to try to decipher as being a rational thought, and will probably be jerks about it and call my mom a "frkgot" on top of that.

She gets off the phone and I have to ask.

Me: Are you serious?
Her: Yep, completely illiterate.
Me: What in God's name could this guy possibly need the internet for.
Her: What else?
Me: *Thoughts of breasts and vaginas creeping in* Of course.

Which, you know, I find this hilarious. There are people that are completely illiterate surfing the internet right now that couldn't even search for the Dr. Suess classic "Cat in the Hat." But SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, they have figured out how to spell the words "sex, ****, *****, ****, lesbian, porn, ****, and ***," to look up internet porn all day. This phenomena has also been documented by Gaijin Smash among Japanese youth, who cannot say "The pen is red," even in Engrish, but can figure out over 500 sexual innuendos in perfect English within a split second. Are you still proud of the advanced society that has been created, people?

But oh no, this gets better.

She continues with the story, saying that his live-in girlfriend got angry with him over the amount of time he spent online looking up porn, so she changed the password to her DSL account, and told him he was not allowed to use the computer for 2 weeks. After the 2 week sentence was up, SHE made HIM call to reset the password and reconfigure the modem.

I guess he better learn how to spell "Masochism," too, because it sounds like he's into that kind of thing.

[nivek1385]

I know that I'm really late to the party here, but wanted to at least say that I enjoyed the thread very much! Having worked in tech support for a certain major telecomm known by three letters (and a punctuation mark) supporting TV and internet over the phone, I have a few horror stories as well. I present my two favorites:


I want to say this call happened ~March of 2008 (it was early 2008 when Dallas\Ft. Worth area in Texas was pounded by a series of tornadoes). Call comes in...
Me: *Opening script*
Caller: Oh, hello, you just missed it! You shoulda seen that one! That dern tornader just came by and ripped my neighbor's roof off like the lid off a Pringles can! Wish you coulda seen that one! Anyway, why ain't my TV workin'?
Me: Excuse me, sir, did you just say that your neighbor's roof was just torn off by a tornado?
Caller: Like the lid off a Pringles can! What you gonna do about my TV?
Me:...*mutes the mic and turns toward everyone around me* Wow, this guy watched his neighbor's roof get torn off by the tornado and has the nerve to want to know why his TV isn't working...*unmutes* Okay, sir, did the tornado damage any part of your home?
Caller: No, just tore off the neighbor's roof like a Pringles can lid, I told you that already, but what does the tornader have to do with my TV not working?
Me: So, all the lines outside are still connected and the power is on?
Caller: We still got 'lectrc, but when the tornader went by, it took the phone lines with it...

*****

This call came in during the height of Hurricane Ike...also Dallas\Fort Worth. This was a frustrating one because there was so much wind noise coming through it wasn't funny and I'm hard of hearing.
...
Caller: Yeah, ever since Ike first hit us, we got damaged pretty bad, but I'm calling because my TV and internet ain't working.
Me: So, you're in the midst of Ike right now?
Caller: I'm in my living room staring outside where there used to be a wall...it's awfully windy...
Me: The hurricane tore out your wall, ma'am?
Caller: Not just the one! It tore out three of them! The fourth wall is barely standin'
Me: Ma'am, were any of those three walls the one with the cable that goes to your main box?
Caller: Yeah, that was the first one it took out.
Me: Well, is the cable in one piece?
Caller: It's gone
Me: The cable is gone?
Caller: Yeah, it's still in the wall
Me: What do you mean it's still in the wall?
Caller: Yeah, [Bobby (just making up a name here, don't remember the real name)] from down the street called to let me know she loved my new wallpaper even though the wall was now on her front lawn. She also said that there were all kinds of cables and wires still coming out of it.
Me: Oh...well, unfortunately, ma'am, your service is not going to work until the cable gets rerun
Caller: I'll be home for the next hour or so, can you be here in five minutes?
Me: Sorry, ma'am, but no, I can't be there in five minutes, not even with a Leerjet. Usually I would go ahead and schedule a technician to come out at your convenience, but all technician appointments have been cancelled and we do not have the ability to schedule any new appointments until after the hurricane.
Caller: So, he'll be here tomorrow?
Me: No, ma'am, what you will need to do is call back once the hurricane is over and once your house is repaired. Without the walls, there is no place for a tech to even run the cables. I can give you the case number so that once the repairs to your house are complete, you can get a tech scheduled easily to come out and rerun your wires.
Caller: Oh, okay, so I need to call and get the walls put back up and then he'll come out later that day.
Me: No, you need to call us back after you have the repairs completed. We won't know when you have that finished until you call, so, if you don't call, we can't send someone.
Caller: Alright, I'll wait for him to come and fix this the day after tomorrow. *click*