Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: Windows Vista source code (lol)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Beans
    164

    Windows Vista source code (lol)

    Code:
    /**
    * (c) 2007 Misrocoft Corp.
    * All rights reserved
    */
    
    #include
    
    
    class WindowsVista extends WindowsXP implements Nothing
    {
         boolean beta = true;
    
         WindowsVista()
         {
              checkIfHardwareIsCompatible();
              /** Ok. The idiot seems to have some high end hardware.
               * Lets make his life miserable
               */
             
              runInternetExplorer7();
         }
    
    
         void checkIfHardwareIsCompatible()
         {
         /*
         * Lets make sure that half the world cannot run this OS while
         * we fix all the bugs
         */
              if((installedRam < 2GB) && (processorSpeed < 4GHz)) 
              {
    MessageBox("Your System does not seem to be capable of running zero err.. aero glass and the like. Please upgrade the hardware and try again.");
                   WaitTillPoorGuyReadsTheMessage();
                   bsod();
              }
         }
    
    
         void runInternetExplorer7()
         {
              IE7 ie7 = new IE7();
             
              ie7.featureSet = firefox_features
                   + safari_features
                   + opera_features + lot_of_bugs;
             
              ie7.run();
              WaitWhileThePoorGuyLooksAtTheNewInterface();
              bsod();
    
         }
    
         /**
          * return true when product is stable.
          */
         boolean isReadyForRelease()
         {
              int lastReportedNumberOfBugs = 3457888E+08
              int totalNoOfNewFeatures = 600;
              boolean readyForRelease = false;
    
    
              sendFeatureSetToMarketingGuys();
    
              while (marketingGuysAreAtIt)
              {
                   Thread fixBugsWhileInBeta = new fixBugsWhileInBeta();
    
                   fixBugsWhileInBeta.assignProgrammer(oneBug);
                   fixBugsWhileInBeta.start();
    
                   if(programmersAreNotSufficient)              
                   {
                        hireFromXBOXDivision();
                   }
    
                   if(aMonthHasPassed)
                   {
    announce("Windows Vista Consumer Version Will be delayed by one more month");
                        dropAFewFeatures();
                        totalNoOfNewFeatures = totalNoOfNewFeatures - 10;
                   }
    
    /** Boss strictly told me that we should have no more than * 7000 bugs
                   * when we ship the item
                   */
                   if(lastReportedNumberOfBugs-- == 7000)
                        return true;
    
              }
    
         }
    
         int main(void)
         {
              WindowsVista vista = new WindowsVista();
              vista.runWindowsXP();
              return plentyOfMoneyforBilly;
         }
    
    }

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    CA, USA
    Beans
    Hidden!

    Re: Windows Vista source code (lol)

    nice java skills

    this is a joke.
    Linux user #438926.|Ubuntu Linux #10924| Questions: The Smart Way

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Beans
    Hidden!

    Re: Windows Vista source code (lol)

    it's not THAT bad. I installed it to test (legally, mind you) on a 1.5 ghz Athlon with 512 ram and it really isn't slow and it only crashed when I installed crap I shouldn't have (had the same problems with XP when it first came out). Unfortunately I still don't care for it enough to keep it.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Beans
    1,107

    Re: Windows Vista source code (lol)

    Vista is crap
    Linux Hardware Boycott!
    How Many People Have you Converted To Linux?
    HD-DVD code:I cant tell you because I got an infraction for posting it here.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Beans
    164

    Re: Windows Vista source code (lol)

    The thing that I like about Windows in general is the ablility to have a still picture as a screen saver (dunno if it's possible on Ubuntu) and that it crashes a lot (at work) I put a screen saver of the "blue screen of death" (Windows 98 err. message) and tell my boss "I dunno what's wrong man, you tell me" and he, being an dumbass at computers, just walks away, and tells me to go on break.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Beans
    1,097
    Distro
    Xubuntu 15.10 Wily Werewolf

    Re: Windows Vista source code (lol)

    LOL, nice one.

    But you ruined the joke by using Java-esque code that's even completely Java!

    Should have used C# code (or is that what you actually used?) instead.

    In all honesty, Vista isn't that bad. In fact, the Windows project as a whole, pretty much made the PC industry. So there ain't much to complain about.
    Last edited by samjh; April 8th, 2007 at 01:44 AM.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Boston, MA
    Beans
    679
    Distro
    Ubuntu

    Re: Windows Vista source code (lol)

    Quote Originally Posted by samjh View Post
    LOL, nice one.

    But you ruined the joke by using Java-esque code that's even completely Java!

    Should have used C# code (or is that what you actually used?) instead.

    In all honesty, Vista isn't that bad. In fact, the Windows project as a whole, pretty much made the PC industry. So there ain't much to complain about.
    I agree, but they should have stopped at 98se.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Edinburgh, UK
    Beans
    284
    Distro
    Kubuntu 6.10 Edgy

    Re: Windows Vista source code (lol)

    Quote Originally Posted by samjh View Post
    In all honesty, Vista isn't that bad.
    Sorry but i'm going to have to interject here.

    I had a decent play with Vista at my LUG on thursday for the first time and whilst it's unbelieveabley pretty, it's nothing new - just XP with bells on.

    Even on a dual 1.6 GHz system menus and popups still had a noticeable lag before appearing and it's like, why bother?
    We look to Scotland for all our ideas of civilisation - Voltaire

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Beans
    479

    Re: Windows Vista source code (lol)

    Quote Originally Posted by jeffc313 View Post
    I agree, but they should have stopped at 98se.
    You van stay at 98 if you like..


  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Philippines
    Beans
    262
    Distro
    Ubuntu 8.04 Hardy Heron

    Re: Windows Vista source code (lol)

    you're probably not too far off the mark.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •