Frustration with admin criticizing a mistake in a public thread asking for help

[AlyssaVS]

I understand that people make mistakes when they post something or do something inappropriate. Why slam them publicly in a reply to their question? Why not send a private message and let them know and that you also changed something if that's the case? This is the second time an admin came in...made a change I didn't notice... and told me I screwed up in a reply that everyone can see. Is this really necessary?

The first time it happened I responded to a question someone asked in a thread of my help request. It was related but technically a different "help topic." I didn't know it was a different "help topic" so I answered them continuing that discussion. Not only did the admin thoroughly humiliate me by explaining how inappropriate I was for "including more than one topic" but also told me that I was seriously inconveniencing people who are volunteering their time. Basically accusing me of deliberately breaking the rules and inconveniencing others. Without any word, he split off the thread and made a new one that I was unaware of. It was a mess and I never got the answer I was looking for.

I know people are volunteering their time. I want to do things correctly and be appreciative but not everything is intuitive.

Sorry if this insults anyone but maybe consider saving the curt replies that don't provide help with the issue for a private message instead. TBH I exhaust all other options before coming here because of these experiences.

[coffeecat]

Thread moved to the Resolution Centre.

I'm sorry that you feel humiliated, but I am sure that no one has ever intended that. In your recent thread you posted an oversized image hosted off-site. That is not the best way to post images, and is counterproductive, in that it puts off many who would otherwise want to help you. The admin who dealt with that politely asked you not to post large images into posts and why. That is our standard practice when encouraging people to use the forum in a way that is both to their advantage and is considerate of others browsing the forum. I see no evidence that you were told that you "screwed up".

The first time it happened I responded to a question someone asked in a thread of my help request. It was related but technically a different "help topic." I didn't know it was a different "help topic" so I answered them continuing that discussion. Not only did the admin thoroughly humiliate me by explaining how inappropriate I was for "including more than one topic" but also told me that I was seriously inconveniencing people who are volunteering their time. Basically accusing me of deliberately breaking the rules and inconveniencing others. Without any word, he split off the thread and made a new one that I was unaware of. It was a mess and I never got the answer I was looking for.

I have been unable to find the thread that you are referring to. Please provide a link to the thread, so that I can respond appropriately to your concerns.

[AlyssaVS]

Thread moved to the Resolution Centre.

I'm sorry that you feel humiliated, but I am sure that no one has ever intended that. In your recent thread you posted an oversized image hosted off-site. That is not the best way to post images, and is counterproductive, in that it puts off many who would otherwise want to help you.

I was not disagreeing to the advice itself. As I stated I want to post here with the best chance of getting help and to be appreciative of that help. I wouldn't post something deliberately that would cost someone extra money to open it or to discourage anyone from answering. His reply as does yours implies that I was being inconsiderate when it was no more than ignorance of how images work in the forum. And to me that could discourage others from helping as much as the bad image.

The admin who dealt with that politely asked you not to post large images into posts and why. That is our standard practice when encouraging people to use the forum in a way that is both to their advantage and is considerate of others browsing the forum. I see no evidence that you were told that you "screwed up".

This is true he did not specifically state "screwed up" so to be fair I sincerely apologize for using the term associated with this admin. However I did not place the term in quotes and was referencing being told by more than one admin publicly that I made a mistake and I used the term as a colloquialism. I did not intend for it to be taken literally. TBH I think that is quite clear especially taken in context. But nonetheless I still apologize for using it.

My concern was with the method. Replying to the question with public admonition to me is unfair and yes..a bit humiliating. Especially when it includes implications of deliberate acts. His second reply does the same thing. For some reason I didn't see the attach paper clip emblem, I wasn't accusing him of lying I was explaining why I did it the way that I did. As to the post though... I was asking if it was necessary to initiate this publicly. It seems to me that if educating the person (on the correct way to do something) is the goal along with ensuring people are not inconvenienced, fixing the issue as was done and sending a private message could achieve both.

I have been unable to find the thread that you are referring to. Please provide a link to the thread, so that I can respond appropriately to your concerns.

It has been quite some time since I posted that here. I will attempt to find the post (s) for your reference. But again, this was a post that got split and placed into two different forums without my knowledge initially. It caused confusion along with frustration. The action was done with a stern admonition that I had broken forum policy as if it were deliberate. I thought that the question was related to the original post and therefore it made sense to include it. My ignorance of the topic itself is why I thought it could be included. As a person using your forums who is trying to learn Linux, there is stuff I don't even know I don't know. As an example... I would've been more than happy to take the additional question myself to another forum had the admin simply let me know it was "off topic". Or fix the pic myself with a quick apology to the forum had I realized the pic would look that way and cause issues for people.

Perhaps taking an extra step to send it as a private message is unreasonable. I get that people are volunteering their time. It just makes me hesitate to ask questions here. But since you have explained that this is your standard practice then I thank you for answering my question. Again, I will try to find the old post.

[QIII]

You received no criticism. You were not admonished. You were politely informed of the policy, the reason behind it, and then you were asked to follow it. You are not being admonished now. You are receiving an explanation of the action of a member of the Staff.

[AlyssaVS]

You received no criticism. You were not admonished. You were politely informed of the policy, the reason behind it, and then you were asked to follow it. You are not being admonished now. You are receiving an explanation of the action of a member of the Staff.

I respectfully disagree with your assessment as I think this is a subjective matter. It is true that those things occurred. However I stated that my overall concern was that I was publicly told that I made a mistake and how to remedy it. I had asked if such comments could be sent privately. I also pointed out that one admin referenced my "doubt" and included a link to a screenshot. I found that to be accusatory. I acknowledge that you are not admonishing me now. You are limiting your response to specific "facts" and appear to dismiss all else as moot. Others probably would as well.

By the way a side note. I still cannot see an attachment paper clip when I post. I could only view it when the admin placed it as a link. At the bottom of the page I have just noticed that it says under "permissions" that I cannot post attachments. I hadn't noticed it earlier. Perhaps that is why I can not see the paperclip. I did not mean to "doubt' anyone. I honestly just can't see it. I wanted to attach it and ended up sharing it in a way I ordinarily would not. A simple oversight or misunderstanding but perhaps you and others can recognize how this can be frustrating for an end user trying to troubleshoot computer issues.

Nonetheless, I will take your response as the final say and that my suggestion is therefore not to be considered. I will do my best not to improperly post to the forum in the future.

[coffeecat]

By the way a side note. I still cannot see an attachment paper clip when I post. I could only view it when the admin placed it as a link. At the bottom of the page I have just noticed that it says under "permissions" that I cannot post attachments.

If you click on the "go advanced" button below the quick reply message editor, you are presented with the advanced message editor. The paper clip icon for the attachment utility is in the top toolbar. Alternatively, under the advanced message editor there is a "manage attachments" button which is an alternative way of getting the attachment utility. My guess is that the permissions list you are looking at is at the bottom of this Resolution Centre thread. Permissions in the Resolution Centre are very restrictive. You may find the list different if you look at a thread in another section of the forum.

If you are having difficulty with any function of the forum software, you are very welcome to start a thread in our Forum Feedback & Help sub-forum. The vBulletin software the forum runs on is more than complicated, and questions in Forum Feedback & Help about use of the forum are helpful to other users experiencing similar difficulties.

I would now like to return to this:

The first time it happened I responded to a question someone asked in a thread of my help request. It was related but technically a different "help topic." I didn't know it was a different "help topic" so I answered them continuing that discussion. Not only did the admin thoroughly humiliate me by explaining how inappropriate I was for "including more than one topic" but also told me that I was seriously inconveniencing people who are volunteering their time. Basically accusing me of deliberately breaking the rules and inconveniencing others. Without any word, he split off the thread and made a new one that I was unaware of. It was a mess and I never got the answer I was looking for.

These are serious allegations which the Forum Council would wish to investigate. Accordingly, I have now spent some significant time looking through all 24 threads in which you have posted since joining the forum - 62 posts in support areas. I can find nothing that fits your description. Are you sure this didn't happen on another forum? Or perhaps a member of staff pm'd you, in which case it would not have been public. If a member of staff did pm you in such a manner, the Forum Council would wish to review the exact wording.

[AlyssaVS]

I would now like to return to this:



These are serious allegations which the Forum Council would wish to investigate. Accordingly, I have now spent some significant time looking through all 24 threads in which you have posted since joining the forum - 62 posts in support areas. I can find nothing that fits your description. Are you sure this didn't happen on another forum? Or perhaps a member of staff pm'd you, in which case it would not have been public. If a member of staff did pm you in such a manner, the Forum Council would wish to review the exact wording.

I apologize for the delayed response as I was disappointed in this experience and didn't want to return for a while. It definitely happened in this forum and in public comments. I too went back to look for the post in question b/c I recall it very specifically. In April 2016 there initially ended up being THREE threads created out of one. Now there are only two and the dates are out of order. I did not delete any threads and wouldn't know how. It was noted in the second thread created that there were three threads as it was asked, "Is this the second thread or a third new thread" to which I replied that it was the second I created because I was told to do that and it was also moved to a different forum topic by an admin. However after seeing that question when I went back to look there was a total of three threads, each containing comments and suggestions regarding the same initial problem. This is what made the situation frustrating. It became hard to follow and again I was admonished and told that I was being inconsiderate.

But now I don't see the thread that included those comments. I don't know why and I don't anticipate anything good resulting from "investigating" this as it appears I am determined to be the problem... or at least my perceptions are. I just distinctly remember what happened because it was frustrating and embarrassing. More importantly I had a hard time finding a solution to my problem.

[coffeecat]

Thank you for posting again. I agree that it would be difficult to reconstruct events that occurred over four years ago. Please be assured that staff actions such as moving or merging threads are intended to help the person needing support, to get their questions into the best place. I think it's also important to remember that interactions on the forum are hampered by the fact that we don't have the visual and auditory cues of tone of voice, facial expression, and body language. It is very easy to misinterpret the intent of the other person when there is only the written word to go upon. This is something the forum staff have to remind themselves when dealing with certain situations. I hasten to add that I am not in any way suggesting you misinterpreted on this occasion, but if you find yourself upset, frustrated or annoyed by something that has been written here, it is a good idea to stop and reflect whether something different from what you inferred was intended by the person whose words upset you. If you wish, you can always ask in a thread whether another forum member meant one thing or another.

Thank you for voicing your concerns here. Good luck, and I hope your time on the forum in the future will be more useful and rewarding for you.