then you add only XFCE and maybe a desktop manager (lightdm, gdm). Not sure if desktop manager is included or not. it's been a while since i've done it.
Oddly, adding 4GB ram has reduced usage between 800-900mb. Whether re-installing with 18.04.3 has helped, not sure. Btrfs now setup with swap file and swapiness set to 10.
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