Girl Troubles IRL... -.-

[soloman469]

Ok so I have no idea whether this was the right place to post this topic but it said 'lighthearted and enjoyable discussions' and so I needed to get this out of my system.

Ok so first of all, I've liked this girl for 3-4 months now and so I didn't know if she liked me back. I finally found out and when I did I found that she used to like me, but moved on to liking one of my good friends. At first when I told him that she liked him, he was like "I know but i don't like her back", then, a couple of weeks later, I find that he had been practically forced into liking her by one of HER FRIENDS and now they are dating. I'm not ticked, i'm actually really happy for them, but whenever I try to move on, something always keeps preventing me.

Can anyone help me at all cause I seem to be on the point of emotional collapse right now. I have been told many things, form moving on to giving it some time. I have no idea what to do next.

[Annadin]

You know something along the lines of this happened to me last year, as a curious question do u happen to be me from the past? Or have i found another human that shares my luck in irony and bad timing?

[montag dp]

In my opinion, the best things you can do are as follows:

1) Stop thinking about her and realize there are plenty of other girls out there. 3-4 months may seem like a long time to invest emotionally, but in the grand scheme of things it's really not. Move on to other people, do other things to keep busy, and don't let this get in the way of friendships.
2) Learn from this experience. Next time you like someone as much as you apparently liked this girl, ask her out. Being rejected feels a lot better than what you are experiencing now, because it brings closure, and the next time it won't be as big a deal.

[fontis]

Bro.
I'm sorry your feelings are not shared.
But bro, life is long. There are so many interesting people on this planet - you have no idea. And even if it feels really hard to deal with it today and cope with how things are you have to be strong.

The best tip I can give you is, break away from your circle. Most of the times we build up habits around what we like, which in a way reinforce the feeling we get from whatever it is we enjoy (person, smoking, food, whatever, etc). So if you want to get away from it, just break away from it.
I know it's really hard to disrupt ones habits, because we all like familiarity. It's safe. It's known. But man, go out there into the unknown. Keep an open mind to the world and when you least expect it - at the most obscure moment - you will find someone who fits you like a glove.

[mastablasta]

I know it's really hard to disrupt ones habits, because we all like familiarity. It's safe. It's known. But man, go out there into the unknown. Keep an open mind to the world and when you least expect it - at the most obscure moment - you will find someone who fits you like a glove.

well said.

for men especially, the problem is actually not there.

i solved my problem by realising:
1. for some reason i found there are plenty of "soulmates" out there. plenty of girls i am "compatible" with.
2. there are almost 2 women for each man. so i should just relax as eventually i will find a still single soulmate that would like me back.

so i was burden free and suddenly they came like bees to honey and they still do. that bothers me more than my wife it seems. since i don't have time for them and my decision about my soulmate was made.

[anaconda]

2. there are almost 2 women for each man. so i should just relax as eventually i will find a still single soulmate that would like me back.

What? Where?
Men outnumber women in most places. Except with people that are really old because woman live longer..


To the OP.
It took me a long time to understand, but it is as Osho says.
Love is a positive feeling
When you love it is beneficial to you. If you love you will enjoy. Love is such a beautiful phenomenon.
You don't have to "own" or "get" the other person.

When you get older you will understand...

[lisati]

"Love" has many facets. Sometimes it's what you feel, sometimes it's what you do, and sometimes it's something else again.

Don't give up when what you feel takes a nose dive: it took me 30 years to meet and notice Mrs Lisati, and 20 years later, in spite of (because of?) encountering a number of potholes on the journey, we're still together.

[Roasted]

I know it's really hard to disrupt ones habits, because we all like familiarity. It's safe. It's known. But man, go out there into the unknown. Keep an open mind to the world and when you least expect it - at the most obscure moment - you will find someone who fits you like a glove.

^^^ Nailed it.

I was in a relationship for 5 years, then another for 2 years, 1 year, and another for 1 year. All of them were train wrecks in some way shape or form, but in each one I still had some degree of emotional ties to the point of feeling like we'd even get married someday. Then, out of no where, life changed. In less than 2 years time, I met a girl, married her, bought a house with her, and we are now expecting our first child in 9 weeks. Some might consider that to be a bit fast, but when you know... you know. Life has been fantastic ever since.

There will be countless more opportunities that come about, some of which may be out of left field with zero warning. Don't get hung up on something like this. The sea is big my friend.

[mips]

Learn from this experience. Next time you like someone as much as you apparently liked this girl, ask her out. Being rejected feels a lot better than what you are experiencing now, because it brings closure, and the next time it won't be as big a deal.

This ^^

[Bandit]

In my opinion, the best things you can do are as follows:

1) Stop thinking about her and realize there are plenty of other girls out there. 3-4 months may seem like a long time to invest emotionally, but in the grand scheme of things it's really not. Move on to other people, do other things to keep busy, and don't let this get in the way of friendships.
2) Learn from this experience. Next time you like someone as much as you apparently liked this girl, ask her out. Being rejected feels a lot better than what you are experiencing now, because it brings closure, and the next time it won't be as big a deal.

Indeed..

One other thing I can offer as advice, is to be more forward when talking to girls. Ladies like men who are man enough to show them a good time and take control. At least most.. I cant tell you how many girls I could have went out with growing up if I would just had man'd up and ask them out and not been a scared little kid. Not saying your a kid mind you, but I was at one time. Age teaches you a lot, but unfortunately it shows you mostly "woulda, shoulda, coulda's" in life.. But hey like stated above, there are many ladies on this planet. Be polite, forward and dont forget to smile when you ask them, if they say no. Mark the gal off the list and move to the next one..