I really think your issue could have been dealt with easily, but you complicated matters by posting the output of fdisk from one machine and then parted from the other. It doesn't matter that they are the same model - they clearly have different hardware configurations. Or are you saying the the first set of outputs from your posts #4 and #6 were from one machine and the outputs in post #8 are from the other? If so, I'm sure we could get to the bottom of this, but we need to know exactly what you are doing and where the outputs are from. I did have a suggestion, but was inhibited from posting it because of the discrepancy between fdisk and parted, and I am still not sure what you are doing.

A few specific comments:

Quote Originally Posted by Jizztasto View Post
I did end up giving up on it and went to install Debian
I wouldn't advise installing Debian to beginners in Linux.

Quote Originally Posted by Jizztasto View Post
I can't even wipe it with a new install of Windows or Ubuntu, the drive just doesn't show up in the installers. It obviously doesn't recognize the drive due to partition being corrupted or something.
The screenshot you posted is more-or-less what I would expect after your unsuccessful attempt with Debian. I really don't think this is likely to be a big issue. I'm sure it is easily fixed.

Quote Originally Posted by Jizztasto View Post
I'm going to ring Dell when possible and see if they're able to fix it.
Hmmm - you have a wealth of experienced members on this forum.

Quote Originally Posted by Jizztasto View Post
Lesson: *nix obviously isn't for me. I can't seem to get anything working other than Ubuntu.
Does that mean you have done a successful install of Ubuntu before? Mint uses the identical installer to Ubuntu. As I've said before, there are a number of possible issues we need to check with your hardware, and we haven't checked them all yet, to explain why the installer is failing.

If you do want help, please settle on one and one machine only to work on. There are a few things I would like to check that you can get from either the Mint or the Ubuntu live CD. If we can get you going with one machine, then we can turn our attention to the other, but only after getting the first sorted. If you want to start with the one that is now giving you the Reboot and Select Proper Boot Device error, that's fine.