The "Corrupt a wish" game

[Metallion]

Ha! Good one! But how did you know I live next door to an old lady?!?!?!?!

When you do a little stalking here and there, you tend to know these things.

You get your endless supply of iced tea, causing a shortage of ice everywhere else in the world, which accentuates global warming.
I wish Dogface05, or anybody else with the right skills, could unlock my SPA-2102, or give me the info to do it myself.

Dogface05 travels to the year 2102 and unlocks the door to the SPA office, which is the Belgian socialist party. Lord of Time bills you for his tardis' rental fee... and the SPA sends you the bill for all their stuff that got stolen by a midget in a bikini because the door was unlocked. After nearly a hundred years, interest and inflation has made that quite expensive.

I wish everybody who chooses a weak password will get a bowl of **** thrown in their face.

[tlhIngan]

Wish granted! Now everybody's scared of entering a weak password, so everybody changes to strong passwords. Hackers no longer finding easy targets go after everybody randomly now, and one of them will change your alias to "Metal Ion", just for giggles.
I wish my sidewalk was finished already.

[25tom]

Granted! But instead of a sidewalk, it is misinterpreted as "walking sideways" and where your sidewalk should be there is an official notice which says that everyone should walk in this manner while in the area.

I wish for nachos and guacamole.

[chellrose]

Granted. You get a plate of nachos and 6.022 x 10^23 avocados. Enjoy!

I wish I had a couple of android servants to clean my apartment for me.

[25tom]

Granted. They are efficient and very kind. They bring you my leftover avocados as gifts every day...

I wish for a flying bike.

[tlhIngan]

You do! Your smartphone and your tablet, both running Android, setup their wifis and bluetooths to attract as much of your apartment's dust to them.
I wish my left contact would stop ripping.

[chellrose]

Erm...

@tlhIngan: Neither of your contacts rip. They squish. Why? I've taken over all the world's contact manufacturers and implemented a new money-saving procedure whereby contacts are made from avocados. After all, we've got plenty to spare.

@25tom: You find an old, dusty bike in some abandoned Hollywood studio basement. It flies, and carries you to E.T.'s homeworld. Unfortunately, the current generation of his kind are not quite so nice. They've developed advanced plasma guns fueled by only Reeses Pieces, and you're surrounded by aliens holding the aforementioned plasma guns.

Did I mention that some prankster at the studio slipped 30 tons of Reeses Pieces into your backpack just before you took off on the bike? Enjoy your interstellar, uh, travel...

I wish there were a legal, free and open-source version of Netflix which contained in its library every movie and every episode of any show ever produced.

[tlhIngan]

I guess Tom and I posted at the same time, didn't we...

Sissy - It's called XBMC, but you won't like it.
I wish I knew what to wish for.

[pqwoerituytrueiwoq]

granted, you know but forget as soon as you hit the reply button

i wish for my cats to be happy

[tlhIngan]

Granted, your cats are happy living in a box of tuna fish on the other side of the planet from you.
I wish awesome didn't end with me.