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Thread: Grief Sadness

  1. #1
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    Grief Sadness

    A good friend of mine just learned of a shooting in his neighborhood.

    I've known this man for about 8 years.

    We are on the same LoCo team. We live about 30 miles from each other.

    I am still in shock that something like this could happen so close to home and I'm not sure how to deal with it all. This sort of thing just doesn't happen very often where I live.

    I've dealt with the lose of my mother to a long illness, but dealing with a sudden shocking event is new to me.

    http://www.myfox8.com/news/wghp-wins...,7519478.story

    I remain shocked. Not sure how to speak to someone that knows that family well. My friend was not directly involved just knew the family well.
    Last edited by markthecarp; December 5th, 2009 at 06:10 AM. Reason: spelling
    --that's carpenter, not the nasty fish...

  2. #2
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    Re: Grief Sadness

    Were do you live? This sort of thing happens all the time in the US.
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  3. #3
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    Re: Grief Sadness

    Sadly this is common in most parts of the U.S.
    .

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    Re: Grief Sadness

    .
    Last edited by openuniverse; January 21st, 2010 at 11:36 PM.

  5. #5
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    Re: Grief Sadness

    Quote Originally Posted by openuniverse View Post
    north carolina.
    Yea,, bad question.. I should have asked "what" he lived under..
    Not to be rude at the OP, but really this sorta thing happens a lot here in the US. Not saying thats good, its really bad. But if its not common in your area and it bothers you enough to post about it. You should really consider getting involved with a community watch team and buy yourself a tazer so you can taze those ten year olds!
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  6. #6
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    Re: Grief Sadness

    Yes it is all too common in the US. But it's always some stranger, not someone I know.
    --that's carpenter, not the nasty fish...

  7. #7
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    Re: Grief Sadness

    The fact you entitled this thread "Grief Sadness" shows that you're aware you are grieving. Grief is a recognized psychological process which has 5 general stages:

    • Denial
    • Anger
    • Bargaining
    • Depression
    • Acceptance

    I would suggest that you are currently in the "denial" stage, possibly at the cusp with "anger": characterized by a feeling of numbness and thoughts like "I can't believe this happened".

    It can help you cope with your grief if you accept that you will go through this sequence. Of course everyone is different: you might not experience every stage, and they may not occur in the above order. But if you can recognize the stages of the process in the way you feel, you will hopefully realize that you're not going to feel like this forever - there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    It might help if you can discuss the way you feel with other friends of the friend who died. You need to take care that you don't make the whole thing be about *you*, but it isn't selfish to talk about how you feel. And such discussion might also help the other friends/family to cope with their own grief.
    "All people are scum. No matter what they look like." ~ Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan #4



  8. #8
    pwnst*r is offline Gee! These Aren't Roasted!
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    Re: Grief Sadness

    Quote Originally Posted by markthecarp View Post
    Yes it is all too common in the US. But it's always some stranger, not someone I know.
    but the incident didn't happen to someone you know, but to someone they know, but you're grieving? that's just kind of odd.

  9. #9
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    Re: Grief Sadness

    Yes, grief probably wasn't the best term to use. The sadness part is far more accurate.
    --that's carpenter, not the nasty fish...

  10. #10
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    Re: Grief Sadness

    Quote Originally Posted by markthecarp View Post
    A good friend of mine just learned of a shooting in his neighborhood.

    I've known this man for about 8 years.

    We are on the same LoCo team. We live about 30 miles from each other.

    I am still in shock that something like this could happen so close to home and I'm not sure how to deal with it all. This sort of thing just doesn't happen very often where I live.

    I've dealt with the lose of my mother to a long illness, but dealing with a sudden shocking event is new to me.

    http://www.myfox8.com/news/wghp-wins...,7519478.story

    I remain shocked. Not sure how to speak to someone that knows that family well. My friend was not directly involved just knew the family well.
    did your friend know the shooting victim, or one of the people involved in the stabbing/suicide story in that link?

    try reading one of the durham papers for a week. it'll put murder in winston-salem into perspective.
    thank you, dan henderson.

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