normal sound/video in xubuntu-screwed up sound/video in cli install of xfce

[rolypolycat]

Hello!

This is a problem that's been bugging me for some time. When I do a regular install of intrepid xubuntu from disk, and follow all the directions in the multimedia guide, I have normal sound and video in most programs.
If I do a command line install, (no matter what window manager I use), and follow those exact same instructions, getting sound and video to work equally well in the same programs is an uphill battle. Xfmedia doesn't work, in either install, gxine music and maybe some video, totem nothing, and mplayer plays music, but no video.Totem did give me an error message once: video codec '0X0" is not handled.
I installed everything the same way on both installs, added all the stuff from gstreamer and xine, all the ubuntu-restricted-extras, and any other advice from the forums and guides. I've tried settings in the programs, choosing among the drivers offered if there were any, but with the same skewed results.
So can anyone tell me why, when I do a command line install of xfce, or openbox, etc, and follow the same instructions, I get whacked out sound and video, but when I install from the xubuntu iso, I generally get decent sound and video? What does the full xubuntu install add that the command line install doesn't? I'd really like to try other window managers and stuff, but not if it's going to take 7 hours (like it did last night), just to give up in frustration and go back to xubuntu.
Heres my computer specs:
2x Intel Celeron cpu E1200@1.60ghz, Audio adapter HDA-Intel -HDA-Intel; a whole bunch of kernel modules with OSS and ALSA.
Right now I'm back to xubuntu, and things are okay, but its a bummer I can't get anything to work under the cli install.
Any ideas? Thanks in advance!