It sounds like gnumeric should do most of what you need, although I'm not sure how it handles the various distributions.
Originally Posted by wouterommeslag
Gnumeric is an Excel clone. However, when it comes to performing statistical analyses CORRECTLY, it far outperforms Excel. I use gnumeric for all my data entry needs, as it exports well to plain text for use in SAS or R.
sudo apt-get install gnumeric
I know its not something you want to hear, but if you will be doing much in the way of statistics in the future, it would really be worth your time to learn one of the CLI programs, of which R is the best in my opinion. However, if all you need are simple statistics (ANOVA, t tests, descriptive statistics) gnumeric performs quite well and might be all you need, and will hopefully get you through this particular time-crunch.