If you'd go to war, and you could choose ANY weapon, which one would you take?

[crazyfuturamanoob]

As title says, you can choose ANY weapon.

The weapon can also be imaginary, no need to be real.

And no more than one weapon is allowed per post.

[loell]

shuriken :KS

[wfp]

Not sure i have flat feet. lol

[jomiolto]

A pen, of course, it's the mightiest of weapons :)

[wishyjr]

a spoon... it'll hurt more. :)

[eternalnewbee]

A pen, of course, it's the mightiest of weapons
OK. So my second weapon of choice would be: AN INVISIBILITY CLOAK=D>

[Paqman]

Since paper cuts are undoubtedly the most painful thing a human being can experience I would definitely use a sword made entirely from paper. I'm estimating that I could cut clean through a telephone pole with one of those babies!

[Junkbox]

D00D! Id take a BFG. DOOM FTW

[Vardaan Aggarwal]

i would love to take Linux

[daverich]

a love rifle.


teehee

Kind regards

Dave Rich

[chucky chuckaluck]

a tank with four speeds in reverse.

[fatality_uk]

A big red button that when pressed, would mean no more wars, no more need to have body bags flown in cargo planes back from far flung corners of the planet. No more wives, husbands, mums and dads waiting to hear a knock or a phone call to let them know that the person they love is never coming home. No more having to return fire to defend your position while knowing your oppo is 10 feet away bleeding to death and you can't put down your weapon to attend to him for fear of your position being over-run.

That's what I'd take. I dare say ray guns, laser weapons and huge missiles will continue to be mentioned in this thread, ahh well.

[Lord DarkPat]

A pitchfork, she is the ultimate weapon!

[gn2]

A photograph of M.K. Gandhi.

[spupy]

Doh!
The Force, of course!

[jc87]

All the Konoha ninja in Naruto ;)

[loell]

All the Konoha ninja in Naruto ;)

you could have scrape the bulk by choosing akatsuki.

[chucky chuckaluck]

i'd wear depends, too, so as not to give away my escape route.

[Magnes]

Batlet.

[Dixon Bainbridge]

An idiot seeking missile.

[loell]

An idiot seeking missile.

careful, it may just do a roundtrip. :biggrin:

[iKonaK]

the adversary root/admin pass :lolflag: (this would be the geek answer you'll looking)
seriosly now, i would "blackmail" with blocking the resuorces export (oil, gas, etc.), kind of like Russia :popcorn:

[aaaantoine]

A dinosaur.

[chucky chuckaluck]

An idiot seeking missile.

i'd be worried about it killing some of my allies.

[SeanHodges]

A moderator infraction

All their base are belong to me!

[Eisenwinter]

A big red button that when pressed, would mean no more wars, no more need to have body bags flown in cargo planes back from far flung corners of the planet. No more wives, husbands, mums and dads waiting to hear a knock or a phone call to let them know that the person they love is never coming home. No more having to return fire to defend your position while knowing your oppo is 10 feet away bleeding to death and you can't put down your weapon to attend to him for fear of your position being over-run.

That's what I'd take. I dare say ray guns, laser weapons and huge missiles will continue to be mentioned in this thread, ahh well.
+1. This is exactly the weapon I would take.

[Vishal Agarwal]

I will like to have the SA (SpamAssassin) with me, with ClamAV and Pyzor and Razor,Loaded with AmaVis-NEW.

He He

:-({|=:-({|=:-({|=

[S0VERE1GN]

I would bring Jesus.

7 plagues would bring an army to an end pretty fast.

[bobbob94]

a plane ticket to somewhere a very long way away from the war...

[sanderella]

My sexy smile, and my dancing bear...:popcorn:

[Nano Geek]

Superman, Batman, Aragorn, Gandalf, ect. :)

[whitegourd]

Bush, he'd be a diversion so that I can run away.

[tuxsheadache]

I will bring the might and fury of... THE INTERNET!

[bapoumba]

A feather.

[crazyfuturamanoob]

Actually I made this thread to get good ideas for guns, that I might add in my video game.

But whatever... I'll just use google next time. :)


An idiot seeking missile.
:lolflag:

[chucky chuckaluck]

i know! - fedor!

[billgoldberg]

As title says, you can choose ANY weapon.

The weapon can also be imaginary, no need to be real.

And no more than one weapon is allowed.

The weapon has to be real, or else how could you take it to war?

I would most likely pick on of our fine Belgian weapons, I'm not sure which one, either the P90 (http://www.fnherstal.com/index.php?id=262) or the F2000 (http://www.fnherstal.com/index.php?id=184&backPID=182&productID=12&pid_product=232&pidList=182&categorySelector=1&detail=) (bullpup), by many considered the best assault rifle in the world.

I'm leaning slightly towards the F2000.

http://www.fnherstal.com/typo3temp/pics/23cabd409e.jpg

--

I seem to be the only one taking this seriously, oh well.

[tadcan]

I would take the best maxed out fallout character available.They survive anything. See it has a computer game reference :lolflag:

[blazercist]

A short range tactical nuclear warhead. Shoulder mounted bazooka style ofcourse. Hey I might kill some innocent bystanders, but I'll sure as hell get the bad guys.

[bostonaholic]

Gilbert Gottfried

[Mistrblank]

Rubber Fish

[craigeo]

I'd take Chuck Norris....
Except Chuck Norris doesn't go to war, wars go to Chuck Norris.

[Martiini]

lightsaber all the way .. dont need anything else .. ever .. unless they decide to nuke u .. or whatever

[loell]

now if its a person weapon, i'd choose Miley cyrus anytime of the day. :popcorn:

[klange]

Absolutely anything?
Definitely a brainwashing device capable of perfectly affecting all of my enemies.
War? What war? Everyone would be on my side.

[S0VERE1GN]

Cool guns:
M16 A4
G36C
PSG-1
M40A3
Remington 700
P90
AK-74(NOT AK-47)
Dragunov
anything Hekkler And Kotch

[CLomax]

Short blade, about half the length of ones arm.

[corney91]

The funniest joke in the world :)

[gn2]

Cool guns:
M16 A4
G36C
PSG-1
M40A3
Remington 700
P90
AK-74(NOT AK-47)
Dragunov
anything Hekkler And Kotch

Let's make one thing quite clear, guns are definitely not "cool".

Having been a soldier myself and having witnessed first hand what guns are built for, I can assure you that it's not cool.

[SunnyRabbiera]

My batch of stinky socks collected from around the world (since someone already said Chuck Norris)

[Mason Whitaker]

Rabid Penguins :B

[Daggo]

Game Genie

[ghandi69_]

A photograph of M.K. Gandhi.

Gandhi here!

If i were to go to war, I would bring my legendary will power, understanding, and patience.

I would also pack a Desert Eagle in case I ran out of any of the above!

[GMU_DodgyHodgy]

The Barret Rifle Rec-7 chambered in the 6.5 Grendel cartridge. It is originally chambered for the 6.8 - but you can get a modified upper for the 6.5 from Lewis Technologies. It surpasses the 5.56 mm NATO assault rifle cartride by being heavier and increased penetrating power plus longer range. The bullet stays supersonic past 1200 meters.

[kk0sse54]

Nothing, I'm a pacifist

[Lord Xeb]

I would choose The Dragon's Claw (a weapon in a story I am writing), the blade has is a two handed weapon with a 50lb blade on the end when it fully morphs. The blade gives the user 50X the speed and power of a human when it morphs to the Blade of the Dragon's Wrath. It also gives the ability to use Earth as a power to your advantage. The blade can control earth. giving the user the ability to summon magma from the deep and use it along with the blade.

[toupeiro]

Go to war is pretty broad. Im sure there were those who would take guns. In a capacity where I think I could be effective, I would take a world history book.

[hessiess]

A bog role.

[justin whitaker]

The funniest joke in the world :)

Seconded. :)

[-grubby]

A white flag

[RATM_Owns]

A super-tank that includes built-in running-people-over tracks and other things of death. And a built-in pizza maker.

[shadowdude1794]

Gravity gun from HL2 of course.

[gnuvistawouldbecool]

Real life weaponry? Some sort of modern assault rifle, which is effective in urban warfare (because, this has been the case in more recent wars, especially Iraq.) and over larger distances. Possibly the M16, with a grenade launcher attached, and possibly a bayonet or some such close combat weapon as well, such that it would be suited for most eventualities. Rather effective, I expect.

Now, in terms of fictional weaponry, probably some sort of energy shielding would be good, with whatever happened to be lying around at the time as a weapon. Or maybe just a death star. A rather overpowered, but very fast, way of stopping a war.

[Bruce M.]

If I had to go and had a choice: tranquilizer gun, but only if going wasn't an option! I'm not into killing!

Now for imaginary weapon: a transporter! (of the "Scotty, beam me up!" fame).

I'd beam the politicians that started it to a deserted island and get them to work it out! That's probably where we'd see that the pen is mightier than the sword.

[markp1989]

Does and army count as a weapon, if so il bring a few of them

[CJ Master]

Nothing, I'm a pacifist

*ten enemies surround you*

Good luck.

[gnuvistawouldbecool]

Well if it were justified (like stopping the Nazi government of Germany was), then what I said. If it wasn't justified, and was just as pointless as the entire Cold war and most of the recent wars, then being a Pacifist is probably what I'd do. Either that, or get trained as a medic, or something less morally dark.

[niccholaspage]

Any Weapon!?

I choose Ubuntu Linux Server Edition!
Because of its terminal I can wipe out a whole troop.
I would take the Desktop Edition, But I am to lazy to go into a terminal with tty in the GUI.

[Corfy]

My first choice of weapon would be a bunch of banana bombs from the Worms video game series:


If it's mass destruction you're after, this weapon is the one. Meet the Banana Bomb. The only advice we can give to anyone who uses this weapon is, BE CAREFUL! This 'soft fruit of doom' is capable of taking out an entire team. Make sure that your Worm is safely hidden away when this beast explodes; each banana alone is as powerful as Dynamite.

The best tactic is to throw the Banana Bomb, on a short fuse, over the top of a group of enemy Worms, making sure all of your Worms are safely hidden away. Also watch out for the Bananas which come from the main explosion, they don't fall in any set pattern and could quite easily fall back to where they came from. And we wouldn't want that, would we?

Other weapons I considered were a very large wooden mallet (as seen in Looney Tunes cartoons), a large anvil that is weightless until I drop it on someone (again, as seen in Looney Tunes cartoons), a wand from the Harry Potter series, a proton pack from Ghostbusters, and a "Noisy Cricket" from Men In Black.

[Sam3280]

Any Weapon!?

I choose Ubuntu Linux Server Edition!
Because of its terminal I can wipe out a whole troop.
I would take the Desktop Edition, But I am to lazy to go into a terminal with tty in the GUI.

sudo apt-get remove enemy

[Saint Angeles]

My first choice of weapon would be a bunch of banana bombs from the Worms video game series:



Other weapons I considered were a very large wooden mallet (as seen in Looney Tunes cartoons), a large anvil that is weightless until I drop it on someone (again, as seen in Looney Tunes cartoons), a wand from the Harry Potter series, a proton pack from Ghostbusters, and a "Noisy Cricket" from Men In Black.
hahaha worms!

wasnt there a huge grenade called the holy grenade or something?
"HALLELUIAH!!" then huge explosion.

the sheep were pretty nasty too.

[Corfy]

hahaha worms!

wasnt there a huge grenade called the holy grenade or something?
"HALLELUIAH!!" then huge explosion.

the sheep were pretty nasty too.

Yep, the "Holy Hand Grenade", as seen on Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

The "Holy Hand Grenade" was one huge explosion (worth up to 100 hit points), but the banana bomb was five very large explosions (worth up to 75 hit points each), which is why I always preferred it.

The sheep were nasty, but hard to control. The herd of mad cows was a lot of fun, though.

[jimi_hendrix]

cheat codes...

[jimi_hendrix]

Yep, the "Holy Hand Grenade", as seen on Monty Python and the Holy Grail.


my second choice

[Frak]

One I'd never have to fire.

[Capt. Mac]

The BFG

I can see no better choice.

[JillSwift]

A huge stockpile of Point-of-View Guns (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heart_of_Gold_%28spaceship%29#Point-of-view_gun), with one half given to the other side.

[zmjjmz]

Ni!

[athaki]

My weapon: unconditional love.

[xeriouxi]

I'd go with the phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range...

"Hey, it's just what you see, pal!" XD

[sloggerkhan]

I'd take a device that makes it so the following are true:
God exists.
God obeys my every command.

Then I'd make myself God by ordering God to do so (he'd have to obey), then destroy him (with my God powers, or order him to destroy himself), leaving me as the only God. I'd then alter the universe so that it would no longer possible for a device that creates the conditions my weapon created to exist.

At that point.... well, I'm sure you see where this is going.

Basically, I'd have a weapon that would allow me to somehow turn into the utter and complete and only God in the universe.


Or to change the nature of it, I'd have a proposition gun, which would make any set of propositions I wanted completely and utterly valid or invalid throughout the entire universe. It would be implanted in me in such a way as to be a part of my body, controllable by my mind, and that any attempt to remove it would fail and backfire.

[Ocxic]

semi-auto mini-nuke launcher.

[pavel989]

A photograph of M.K. Gandhi.
love the idea, and i LOVE MEDDLE TO DEATH!!!

uhm, speaking of which, id bring the worlds most massive stereo system that is so loud, that it's sound waves either make u poop yourself (brown note) or blow up your head. and to be an ***, and because i can only bring one item, id make it play static.

unless of course, i come with a cd inside it already...

OOOORRRRRR:
either of the 2 rifles from gears of war. The chainsaw is badass, but the semi is true power. While using a full auto is more comfortable because its constant motion, I'm much more for power then fast shooting

[Motomo]

Kalashnikov........damn near indescructable

[jimi_hendrix]

third one...my beautiful bicepts...

[barbedsaber]

The funniest joke in the world :)

there are two goldfish in a tank.
one says to the other.
"you man the guns, I'll drive."

[jimi_hendrix]

there are two goldfish in a tank.
one says to the other.
"you man the guns, I'll drive."

that and the fact i realized i share the same birthdate with chamillionare made my day...

[CJ Master]

hahaha worms!

wasnt there a huge grenade called the holy grenade or something?
"HALLELUIAH!!" then huge explosion.

the sheep were pretty nasty too.

As long as we're talking about worms...


ARMAGEDDON!!!

http://www.deafgamers.com/wormsarmag1.gif

[InfinityCircuit]

Someone probably already posted this, but I'd take a white flag.

[cammin]

I'd take a device that makes it so the following are true:
God exists.
God obeys my every command.

Then I'd make myself God by ordering God to do so (he'd have to obey), then destroy him (with my God powers, or order him to destroy himself), leaving me as the only God.
Make yourself God, then make God kill himself...
You don't see a flaw in your plan?



I'd then alter the universe so that it would no longer possible for a device that creates the conditions my weapon created to exist.

You would have done that already by killing yourself.


At that point.... well, I'm sure you see where this is going.
Yep, everyone will be fighting for some reason you still have no control over.

Basically, I'd have a weapon that would allow me to somehow turn into the utter and complete and only God in the universe. Except for the other one.



Or to change the nature of it, I'd have a proposition gun, which would make any set of propositions I wanted completely and utterly valid or invalid throughout the entire universe. It would be implanted in me in such a way as to be a part of my body, controllable by my mind, and that any attempt to remove it would fail and backfire.

Stop thinking about that last statement being invalid and the device just falling off your body, never to be used by you again.
Seriously, stop it.
I mean it. Stop.
Stop!
For 10 seconds, at least, try to stop thinking about it.
really.
10 seconds.
invalid statement..
gun falls off..
never to be used..
stop it...
stop!
now!!
really.
don't think about that!
about what?
the gun falling off never to be used by you again,
because you wanted it to happen
really, you shouldn't think about that happening.
You really shouldn't think about the gun falling off and you never being able to use it again.

[CrazyArcher]

Ak-107.
Oh wait, I can take an imaginary weapon too? Hmm, then the railgun from Quake :)

[Xzallion]

I would take a Lancer (http://news.teamxbox.com/xbox/17000/Gears-of-War-Lancer-Replica-and-Drone-Bust-PreOrders/).

[MaximB]

ANY weapon ? even weapon that doesn't yet exists ? well...
I would take the "Mind-Control" helm, which will enabled me to control groups of people, even an army no matter where they are.

Sitting inside a bunker controlling people to kill themselves - that's got to be fun ;)

[Junkieman]

Easy. Banana Bomb.

[eternalnewbee]

If you can't beat them, join them: The Death Stick:twisted:

[quanumphaze]

Rocket-Propelled Chainsaw Launcher (http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_weapons_that_shoot_other_weapons_that_don% 27t_exist%2C_but_should)

[iponeverything]

The one weapon I would take is ambien.

[Jose Catre-Vandis]

I'd take the Haitian from Heroes :)

[Dixon Bainbridge]

careful, it may just do a roundtrip. :biggrin:

You know, I almost edited my original post to say, obviously, I'd have to get out of the way. :)

[SeanHodges]

Make yourself God, then make God kill himself...
You don't see a flaw in your plan?



You would have done that already by killing yourself.


Yep, everyone will be fighting for some reason you still have no control over.
Except for the other one.




Stop thinking about that last statement being invalid and the device just falling off your body, never to be used by you again.
Seriously, stop it.
I mean it. Stop.
Stop!
For 10 seconds, at least, try to stop thinking about it.
really.
10 seconds.
invalid statement..
gun falls off..
never to be used..
stop it...
stop!
now!!
really.
don't think about that!
about what?
the gun falling off never to be used by you again,
because you wanted it to happen
really, you shouldn't think about that happening.
You really shouldn't think about the gun falling off and you never being able to use it again.

Well personally I think your both drunk.

[mr.propre]

Chuck Norris

[halovivek]

i will live to take sudarsanam. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krishna)it is the powerful one

[notwen]

I'd take a burrito and die w/ a full belly. *nod*
Or maybe a Newcastle Brown Ale. Hard to say, I'll letcha know when it comes to it. =]

[skitzware]

Rolled up newspaper... great for wars against flies...

[linux phreak]

FN Five-SeveN pistol.

[jenkinbr]

The electro from Nexuiz with ajustable settings.
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=nexuiz+electro&search_type=&aq=f

[eragon100]

@ all of the people who talk about white flags, peace buttons and other crap: please leave the thread, you're boring...


I would take Ichigo's Zanpakutou!

[denad]

I take THE red button(tm)

[crazyfuturamanoob]

Cool guns:
M16 A4
G36C
PSG-1
M40A3
Remington 700
P90
AK-74(NOT AK-47)
Dragunov
anything Hekkler And Kotch

Those are pretty over-used.

As I mentioned before, I'm picking up the best ideas, and I'll probably add them in my video game I'm working on.

Every game has Desert Eagle, Ak-47/74, M4/M16, Dragunov, P90 etc etc.

And I want something new in my game.

[jomiolto]

Hugs and kisses. And a lot of lolcats ;)

[Cannaregio]

I would never "go" to war: I believe that all soldiers are just murderers; deserters and shirkers are my heroes.

Whenever war has been imposed onto their subjects by the powers that be, the most powerful weapon you could have at hand was an expert in rhetorical (http://humanities.byu.edu/rhetoric/Silva.htm) techniques and propaganda reversing :-)

[niyonk]

i would take a lawyer :guitar:

[ShodanjoDM]

Superglue

[Corfy]

One I'd never have to fire.

"I prefer the weapon you only have to fire once. That's how Dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far." - Tony Stark from the "Iron Man" movie

[cyberfin]

Michael Jackson. Just sit back and watch them flee.

[Sorivenul]

The band ABBA.

[Hallvor]

All I need is my tinfoil hat.

[EdThaSlayer]

A phaser ofcourse! You know? The ones from Star Trek that can literally make another person * disappear * or stun them at will?

[vikasmk]

i'd take my copy of windows xp ...........and gift it to the enemies..............and watch them fall................:)

[cammin]

Well personally I think your both drunk.

Probably.

[Grant A.]

If I was fighting a web developer, the PHPBB2 vulnerability list, that could kill any developer of exhaustion ;)

Anyone else, a pre-alpha Ubuntu release.

[CJ Master]

"I prefer the weapon you only have to fire once. That's how Dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far." - Tony Stark from the "Iron Man" movie

Haha I loved that part. The camera's focusing on him while missles are bombing the heck out of the mountains XD

[schauerlich]

Knife-gun.

+1 if you catch the reference.

[master5o1]

Jato


(Otori sword from Tales of the Otori series by Lian Hearn)

[ericesque]

Has anyone taken sudo to war with them yet?

What happens if I "sudo make me a sandwich" a whole army? Do I get one ginormous sandwich or one sandwich per soldier?

[cardinals_fan]

A camel.

[CholericKoala]

Obama supporters - their lives have no meaning now, so I'll just come up with a catchy slogan and they will flock to uphold the whim of my will!

[sloggerkhan]

ANY weapon ? even weapon that doesn't yet exists ? well...
I would take the "Mind-Control" helm, which will enabled me to control groups of people, even an army no matter where they are.

Sitting inside a bunker controlling people to kill themselves - that's got to be fun ;)

hmm. kinda like code geass.

[nothingspecial]

My wife in a really bad mood.

[JohnLM_the_Ghost]

Becoming more serious...
It all depends what I face against... and where.

For lots of infantry I'd take M2 Browning machine gun with heaps of ammo.

For armored units... M1 'Abrams' Tank (btw it has M2 on roof)

Oh yes never forget the trusty AK47

but I'm not expecting war.

[jimi_hendrix]

i would take sudo

[wadelewis4]

2 turntables and a microphone.

[Tigershell]

rm would be my weapon of choice

[Grant A.]

i would take sudo

What if I remove you from the wheel group? >:D

Su would be the much better choice.

[Paqman]

For lots of infantry I'd take M2 Browning machine gun with heaps of ammo.


Random fact: using heavy machine guns on infantry is actually against the Hague Conventions. Not that this would actually stop anybody.

[saru411]

A rubber chicken

[dmn_clown]

A rabid jackass.

http://pro.corbis.com/images/CB027510.jpg?size=572&uid=%7B177D9111-0319-4F61-899B-34535952ACBE%7D

[gnuvistawouldbecool]

A phaser ofcourse! You know? The ones from Star Trek that can literally make another person * disappear * or stun them at will?

Ah but there are so many more powerful and generally better sci fi weapons. Ones with sights, for a start.

Not to mention that phasers usually break if someone hits an enemy over the head with it.

The best weapon would just be a reprogrammed T-X from Terminator 3, with a video feed so you could watch it run around generally causing destruction.

[SeanHodges]

A James Blunt album.

[billgoldberg]

Nothing, I'm a pacifist

What if the war came to you?

Hide in a basement?

[will1911a1]

I've been playing Fallout 3 so I'm going to go with a tactical nuke.

[Bucky Ball]

100, 000 cannisters of nitrous oxide. Pretty hard to get angry enough to blow someone's head off when you're laughing your own head off and so are they.

[favadi]

Awp.

[JohnLM_the_Ghost]

Being even more serious than before...
I'm thinking for a good and silenced sub-machine gun, if it comes with various types of ammo and stealth tactical gear.

[Dixon Bainbridge]

Dog poo on the end of a stick would also be a good weapon. Excellent for winkling out entrenched enemy positions.

[brigadoon]

Without a doubt an Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator.

[Yownanymous]

I'd go with a laptop and a scud missile launching program.

[Dixon Bainbridge]

Without a doubt an Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator.

Obscuring the view of Venus, eh? Those crazy Martians.

Acme Disintegration Pistol as used by Duck Dodgers would also be good.

[argie]

I'd be the medic.

[afzal_du]

The Elder Wand (Has anyone mentioned it yet?).

[matthekc]

The suit from Iron man...

[Ponomous]

Bullet repellent!