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View Full Version : Kirk with Redshirts VS Darth Vader with Stormtroopers



CJ Master
November 3rd, 2008, 09:47 PM
Ya'll better be as geeky as I think you are! ):P

Imagine, Kirk beaming down into a planet where darth vader is doing an investigation. (Yes I know, it's cannon-ly impossible.) Darth vader has a few storm troopers, kirk has a few redshirts. THE WAR IZ ON!!!

Personally I'm 90% confident that Star Trek would win. The redshirts and stormtroopers are both equally horrible aimers, but while blasters can kill you under the right circumstances, even if the phaser beam hits a hair on your head your dead.

Now this brings us to Kirk vs Darthy. Kirk would own own own. :P You know how darth-boy blocks blasters with his lightsaber? Well blasters are like guns, in which its a small area that on impact goes BOOM BOOM BOOM. He easy blocks those.

Phasers, however, are INSTANT. That means theres no reaction time for Darth-man.

And don't even get me started on phasers on overload/phasers on max!!!

So what do ya'll think?

CJ Master
November 4th, 2008, 02:18 AM
Aw common guys, show your geekiness. :P

init1
November 4th, 2008, 02:22 AM
It would be a close battle, possibly a stalemate.

tuxxy
November 4th, 2008, 02:22 AM
Im goin with Darth you forget he has the force :lolflag:

Zero Prime
November 4th, 2008, 02:23 AM
Vader would own Kirk. While Kirk is trying to say We...Come...In...Pease, Vader force chokes him to death. No fight.

Three posts at the same time, see that's the power of the force. One more point for the Darth Man.

CJ Master
November 4th, 2008, 02:25 AM
Kinda hard to say "we come with peace" while being choked. XD

Anyways, as soon as he started being choked, he'd set phaser on max a bomb the heck out of the ground darth's under.

Zero Prime
November 4th, 2008, 02:27 AM
Force Lightning...ZAPPPPP!!

Edit: Worse case... Kirk kills Vader. Vader's Imperial cruiser has already detected the Enterprise and destroyed it. Emperor detects a disturbance in the force from Vader's death and then has the Death Star destroy the planet that Kirk is now stranded on. The dark side wins.

CJ Master
November 4th, 2008, 02:30 AM
Kirk could still pull the trigger if he used his will was strong enough. :P

LaRoza
November 4th, 2008, 02:35 AM
Ok, first, the redshirts and stormstroopers cancel out, so the real question is if Kirk or Darth would win.

In reality, Dark would own.

In the screen, Kirk would. Why? Not because he is better, but because of some obscure fortuitous alien culture belief, and something that is hidden to the viewer until it is over, and a very beautiful, yet alien...alien. Unfortunately (or not...), this female alien will be killed during the fight, but Kirk will get over it (too quickly, if you ask me).

CJ Master
November 4th, 2008, 02:37 AM
In the screen, Kirk would. Why? Not because he is better, but because of some obscure fortuitous alien culture belief, and something that is hidden to the viewer until it is over, and a very beautiful, yet alien...alien. Unfortunately (or not...), this female alien will be killed during the fight, but Kirk will get over it (too quickly, if you ask me).

You lost me after "Why?".

LaRoza
November 4th, 2008, 02:44 AM
You lost me after "Why?".
Here are the steps:

Storm troopers and redshirts all get eliminated.
Kirk runs off after realising he is out matched and possibly gets his butt handed to him.
Kirk gets involved in the local alien culture and get amorous with a hopeful and sexy alien female (that is almost entirely human, except for colouring and possibly hair style).
Kirk's fling with the alien and something else (which isn't revealed to us yet) lead him to go back to confront Vader.
Alien female dies, tragically, yet Kirk doesn't seem to see a pattern or show any grief...
Kirk wins in what seems a close call.
It is then revealed that Kirk had the upper hand because of information that was not shared with the people watching (us), and the fight wasn't as hopeless as it worked.

CJ Master
November 4th, 2008, 03:03 AM
Makes more sense, except your not talking about a mix of Kirk/Picard lol. The only part in that that makes sense for Kirk is the alien females, the only part that makes sense for Picard is the running off and winning with some info later.

CJ Master
November 4th, 2008, 07:28 AM
Ahaha, just realised. Even if he managed to block the beam with his lightsaber somehow, the beam'd just disinagrate the force feild holding the plasma anyways XD

LaRoza
November 4th, 2008, 07:33 AM
Makes more sense, except your not talking about a mix of Kirk/Picard lol. The only part in that that makes sense for Kirk is the alien females, the only part that makes sense for Picard is the running off and winning with some info later.

I am basing this of Kirks exploits I have seen on film. Picard isn't in the picture.

myusername
November 4th, 2008, 07:39 AM
im sorry...but with the force you can predict things before it happens. therefore kirk would not be able to shoot darth. and a quick force choke later. darth wins. and am i the only one that noticed that in episode 3 palpatine (after the fight between vader and obi) that he will not be able to use force lightning because his hands were cut off. so how could he use force choke in episode 4-6?

LaRoza
November 4th, 2008, 07:42 AM
im sorry...but with the force you can predict things before it happens. therefore kirk would not be able to shoot darth. and a quick force choke later. darth wins. and am i the only one that noticed that in episode 3 palpatine (after the fight between vader and obi) that he will not be able to use force lightning because his hands were cut off. so how could he use force choke in episode 4-6?

Keep in mind that if the Force allowed them an all seeing eye, they'd never get in any sort of trouble. It was only the best of Jedi who could reliably do that, and even a 800 year old Jedi was less than perfect.

Also, if we go by capabilities, Kirk would loose every battle. It would be silly for Star Trek episodes to have a "in this episode, Kirk and the Federation beat up on weaker foes".

And it has nothing to do with hands, but concentration ;)

myusername
November 4th, 2008, 07:47 AM
yes. but you have to remember, vader was on the DARK SIDE of the force. so he COULD predict the NEAR future but not the distant. and if thats the case with his hands then how come he cant use force lightning?

LaRoza
November 4th, 2008, 07:49 AM
yes. but you have to remember, vader was on the DARK SIDE of the force. so he COULD predict the NEAR future but not the distant.

Obviously, not a fan of Star Wars lore ;) Not going to debate this, because it is pointless and my knowledge of Star Wars would make me look more like a geek...


and if thats the case with his hands then how come he cant use force lightning?
Because he was always a young Jedi ;) Keep in mind he never got to be old and was skilled only as far as he was while being trained. He was powerful, but not extremely skilled.

mfarquhar
November 4th, 2008, 07:52 AM
phasers and blasters both rely on a a form of energy tranferred as what (I know of) as lasers. they are both technically travelling at the speed of light, they only appear slowed down so we can see cool effects on tv. (the real deal would probably look closer to the solar gun laser effect in "the man with the golden gun" 007 movie, depending upon the type of laser, and whether it was a burst or a beam (one would be harder to see, while the other looks more like a lightsaber))

the physics (unless im missing something) seem to indicate that if you can block one, you can block the other (neither is "faster") unless one has a way to overcome a lightsabers blocking ability.

myusername
November 4th, 2008, 07:53 AM
Obviously, not a fan of Star Wars lore ;) Not going to debate this, because it is pointless and my knowledge of Star Wars would make me look more like a geek...


Because he was always a young Jedi ;) Keep in mind he never got to be old and was skilled only as far as he was while being trained. He was powerful, but not extremely skilled.

i could have sworn that in a starwars game that the sith could read into the future. but then again i havent really played star wars games in a while.

but anyways back to the hands. he had plenty of training under sidious (or palpatine) to learn force lightning. it came down to him not having real hands

LaRoza
November 4th, 2008, 07:56 AM
but anyways back to the hands. he had plenty of training under sidious (or palpatine) to learn force lightning. it came down to him not having real hands

That is not how it worked ;)

Obi-Wan never did it either. In fact, no one but two people ever did it in the films, and not all the Sith did.

myusername
November 4th, 2008, 07:58 AM
obi-wan never did it because he was not sith! none of the other sith learned it because they were only under palpatine briefly. not under long periods of time like vader was. and i swear that in episode three palpatine says the he will not be able to use force lightning because of his injury

myusername
November 4th, 2008, 08:02 AM
i find it amusing that we're arguing over the technicalities of something that breaks all laws of nature

LaRoza
November 4th, 2008, 08:27 AM
obi-wan never did it because he was not sith! none of the other sith learned it because they were only under palpatine briefly. not under long periods of time like vader was. and i swear that in episode three palpatine says the he will not be able to use force lightning because of his injury

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Force_lightning

Vadar's life support system would be easily damaged by it, which is why he didn't use it often, but he could use it and did for brief moments.

CJ Master
November 5th, 2008, 02:33 AM
phasers and blasters both rely on a a form of energy tranferred as what (I know of) as lasers. they are both technically travelling at the speed of light, they only appear slowed down so we can see cool effects on tv. (the real deal would probably look closer to the solar gun laser effect in "the man with the golden gun" 007 movie, depending upon the type of laser, and whether it was a burst or a beam (one would be harder to see, while the other looks more like a lightsaber))

the physics (unless im missing something) seem to indicate that if you can block one, you can block the other (neither is "faster") unless one has a way to overcome a lightsabers blocking ability.

This does not seem to be the case. Watch a star wars show in slow-mo. you can clearly see the blaster shot commoning from the gun, and moving. If it was light speed you'd barely see a blur.

Now watch a TOS episode in slowmo. Kirk fires phasers, and there's instantly a sturdy beam of light.

...and regardless, again I repeat if darth managed to block it the phaser'd disintegrate the lightsaber anyways:P

...or just fire phaser on max on the ground near darthy.... :whistle:

cardinals_fan
November 5th, 2008, 02:50 AM
The Empire lost to a bunch of fat little teddy bears. I vote Kirk.

EdThaSlayer
November 5th, 2008, 03:22 AM
Kirk would win big time. Even though Vader can "use the force" Kirk could just do a kill setting phaser beam and Vader would dissapear into the abyss that is plasmatic death. But well, if Vader only had his normal stormtroopers, the clone troopers, then he would win but being in these circumstances he won't.

myusername
November 5th, 2008, 03:23 AM
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Force_lightning

Vadar's life support system would be easily damaged by it, which is why he didn't use it often, but he could use it and did for brief moments.

that makes sense. it also answers my question about force lightning. so ill agree with you...FOR NOW! MUAHAHAHAHA

Gizkaguy
November 5th, 2008, 03:56 AM
Neither. The Borg would come out of nowhere, assimilating them both. They would be followed by Captain Janeway, who is awesome.

Mr. Picklesworth
November 5th, 2008, 05:47 AM
Ya'll better be as geeky as I think you are! ):P

Imagine, Kirk beaming down into a planet where darth vader is doing an investigation. (Yes I know, it's cannon-ly impossible.) Darth vader has a few storm troopers, kirk has a few redshirts. THE WAR IZ ON!!!

Personally I'm 90% confident that Star Trek would win. The redshirts and stormtroopers are both equally horrible aimers, but while blasters can kill you under the right circumstances, even if the phaser beam hits a hair on your head your dead.

Now this brings us to Kirk vs Darthy. Kirk would own own own. :P You know how darth-boy blocks blasters with his lightsaber? Well blasters are like guns, in which its a small area that on impact goes BOOM BOOM BOOM. He easy blocks those.

Phasers, however, are INSTANT. That means theres no reaction time for Darth-man.

And don't even get me started on phasers on overload/phasers on max!!!

So what do ya'll think?

Ah, but you're forgetting that by this time Kirk will have lost his shirt in a first fight with an AT-AT walker, prompting him to toss the phaser and attempt a two-handed punch instead. He would still win, of course; Vader wouldn't see it coming. His Kirk-Fu is unpracticed.

CJ Master
November 5th, 2008, 06:12 AM
Ah, but you're forgetting that by this time Kirk will have lost his shirt in a first fight with an AT-AT walker, prompting him to toss the phaser and attempt a two-handed punch instead. He would still win, of course; Vader wouldn't see it coming. His Kirk-Fu is unpracticed.

You, sir, made my day.


Neither. The Borg would come out of nowhere, assimilating them both. They would be followed by Captain Janeway, who is awesome.

Your probably the first person I saw that liked Janeway.




Added poll! vote now! (For kirk!! :D )

CJ Master
November 5th, 2008, 09:04 PM
Bump =D

billgoldberg
November 5th, 2008, 09:16 PM
There is no discussion possible, Vader would kick all their arses by himself.

The Force is strong in that one.

LaRoza
November 5th, 2008, 09:23 PM
There is no discussion possible, Vader would kick all their arses by himself.

The Force is strong in that one.

Yes, in reality, he would. However, in movie land...

CJ Master
November 5th, 2008, 09:34 PM
There is no discussion possible, Vader would kick all their arses by himself.

The Force is strong in that one.

Care to explain how he'd kill kirk while around 7 men with phasers are firing directly at him? :P

LaRoza
November 5th, 2008, 09:35 PM
Care to explain how he'd kill kirk while around 7 men with phasers are firing directly at him? :P

Watch Star Wars, episode 2 + 3.

CJ Master
November 5th, 2008, 09:51 PM
Watch Star Wars, episode 2 + 3.

It's been a year or so since i watched 2, and haven't even watched three. Tell me. :P

LaRoza
November 5th, 2008, 10:05 PM
It's been a year or so since i watched 2, and haven't even watched three. Tell me. :P

He is very skilled and fast. He can do it.

CJ Master
November 6th, 2008, 02:47 AM
He is very skilled and fast. He can do it.

How? Lightsaber is out, nobody can move that fast. Force lightning is out, if everyone spread apart, and choke is out considering it can only target one at a time.

jimi_hendrix
November 6th, 2008, 03:19 AM
In the screen, Kirk would. Why? Not because he is better, but because of some obscure fortuitous alien culture belief, and something that is hidden to the viewer until it is over, and a very beautiful, yet alien...alien. Unfortunately (or not...), this female alien will be killed during the fight, but Kirk will get over it (too quickly, if you ask me).

every time...and the alien is always female

kirk would win because vader could either kill kirk but die from an overloaded phaser or get shot...and i think red shirts > stormtroopers...at least red shirts can hit a non moving target at the end of a streight hallway...

cardinals_fan
November 6th, 2008, 03:52 AM
and i think red shirts > stormtroopers...at least red shirts can hit a non moving target at the end of a streight hallway...
...and at least redshirts wouldn't be beat up by teddy bears :)

eternalnewbee
November 6th, 2008, 04:01 AM
The real question (nothing to do with Laroza's previous avatar, although it's a happy coincidence) is who would be victorious when Darth Vader & and the Borg Queen do battle. Darth Vader will be assimilated, Empire darker than ever. Along comes Picard, who manages to halt the advancing Borg. Meanwhile Captain Janeway, Seven of Nine, Tom Paris, B'lana and Worf (now I'm starting to confuse myself) infiltrate the Borg, with new ancient technology, made available by Atlantis. At first it was a real shocker to find out that the boss of Atlantis is actually a hologram.
And now the demise of the Borg in general, and the borg queen in particular starts in earnest (again)):P
EDIT: I might have to start a new account in which my name will be: EternallyConfused.

NewJack
November 6th, 2008, 04:47 AM
Team Darth, 'Nuff Said!

CJ Master
November 6th, 2008, 05:29 AM
Team Darth losses, 'Nuff Said!

Fix'd. =3

CJ Master
November 8th, 2008, 02:17 AM
I assume by the silence we all unanimously agree that kirk would own. =]

LaRoza
November 8th, 2008, 02:18 AM
I assume by the silence we all unanimously agree that kirk would own. =]

Yes, but not because he is better.

cardboardtoast
November 8th, 2008, 04:30 AM
I think Darth would win cause 1 reason--The force can move objects right (as seen in like all the movies)? What is stopping darth from just flipping kirks teams weapons in their hands and mentally hitting the "fire" button??? BAM! Kirk & Team be GONE

Kirk couldnt have any "anti-force stuff", cause he randomly met vader there

If for some odd reason that can't happen, please tell me!

:popcorn:

CJ Master
November 8th, 2008, 07:29 PM
I think Darth would win cause 1 reason--The force can move objects right (as seen in like all the movies)? What is stopping darth from just flipping kirks teams weapons in their hands and mentally hitting the "fire" button??? BAM! Kirk & Team be GONE

Kirk couldnt have any "anti-force stuff", cause he randomly met vader there

If for some odd reason that can't happen, please tell me!

:popcorn:

Good question. Answer: Vader can only do that to one object at a time.

CJ Master
November 9th, 2008, 07:14 PM
Bump, making sure everyone with common sense votes for kirk. :popcorn:

CJ Master
November 15th, 2008, 12:39 AM
Bump :P

Zero Prime
November 15th, 2008, 02:26 AM
Vader is winning, haha :)

samjh
November 15th, 2008, 03:03 AM
Considering that both redshirts and stormtroopers can't shoot straight, Darth Vader will win by virtue of everyone else's n00b-ness. :p

Things would get even more interesting if Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters showed up.

CJ Master
November 16th, 2008, 08:20 PM
Considering that both redshirts and stormtroopers can't shoot straight, Darth Vader will win by virtue of everyone else's n00b-ness. :p

Things would get even more interesting if Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters showed up.

Your completely forgetting kirk. =[

CJ Master
November 17th, 2008, 07:04 AM
Vader is winning, haha :)

Yes, he is using the force to cheat. :popcorn:

samjh
November 17th, 2008, 10:50 AM
It's a Jedi mind trick. ;)

CJ Master
December 1st, 2008, 02:42 AM
Bump again. D:

CJ Master
December 14th, 2008, 12:45 AM
Death to Vader!