Giving Up on Ubuntu

[karasuman]

That's it. I've had it. Ever since I switched to Ubuntu, I'd had nothing but problems. I just can't take it anymore.

The incredibly easy GUI makes me feel stupid, like I'm not supposed to have to work to use Linux. What's the point of ditching Microsoft if I'm not going to have to do everything with arcane terminal commands I don't really understand? If things just pop up in windows like I'm used to, I feel like I'm using WINDOWS, just without the bloat and security vulnerabilities and meaningless restrictions.

And what's up with this not having permission to execute programs? On Windows, I could just click on an .exe, and it did it's thing, whether it was a virus or a spyware-riddled piece of junk! Now, I keep having to remember to go type in the terminal this stupid chmod command. Why can't everything just be allowed to execute automatically? Huh? Why? Windows used to psychically know that I don't care who gets to install what--why does Ubuntu think I want to know what's going on with my sensitive files?

And I really hate how hard it is to install programs. On Windows, I could just google until I found something that sounded like it might work, download it, double click, and watch it install itself to wherever it felt like along with really neat bonuses like Gator toolbar to help me find the advertisements that really appeal to ME. Now, I have to use this stupid Add/Remove Programs thing, or WORSE, the synaptic package manager. What's the point of searching for the kind of program I like and just checking a stupid box to install it? How do I know it's installed if I don't get to do any of the button pushing?

Don't even get me started on the crappy programs that are available. Open Office is absolutely awful. It's just like Microsoft Word, only I didn't have to pay for it, so I KNOW it's just not as good. And GIMP is a piece of junk. It lets me do almost everything Photoshop does, but, again, what's the catch? Why didn't I have to pay $200 for it? Because it's a piece of junk! That's why!

And then there's that whole Wine thing. If I can just run Windows programs like I'm running Windows, why not just run Windows in the first place? Why am I wasting my time with Ubuntu?

How do you even pronounce Ubuntu? Why couldn't they give it a nice, normal, American name, like Windows? Only not Windows, obviously, because Microsoft got there first.

Now, I'll tell you all how you can stop me from abandoning Ubuntu and going back to paying lots of money for vulnerable software that only gets improved if the company producing it thinks the update is going to be cost-effective. In spite of all the problems I've just listed, I'll keep using Ubuntu for just ONE MORE DAY if someone tells me how to fix my problem.

When I go into the terminal and type,


aptitude help

I am informed that "this aptitude does not have super cow powers."

How do I get super cow powers? I tried


apt-get moo

but still no powers. :(

[wthex]

I sorry, are you kidding?

[wdaniels]

Sometimes you have to try a little persuasion to get what you want:


aptitude moo
aptitude -v moo
aptitude -v -v moo
aptitude -v -v -v moo
aptitude -v -v -v -v moo
aptitude -v -v -v -v -v moo

Great post! :lolflag:

[jombeewoof]

aptitude -vvvvvv moo

[tjwoosta]

Post removed

(i just caught on)

[fmartinez]

OMG cryyyy babyyyy! Get over it! If you don't like don't use it. If you need help just ask.

[tjwoosta]

OMG cryyyy babyyyy! Get over it! If you don't like don't use it. If you need help just ask.

post is mostly sarcasm

(i also just caught on)

[BlueSkyNIS]

I just caught on, too

[sayakb]

Classic :lolflag:

[ellalan]

Hi Karasuman
Patience,patience,patience and a little bit willingness to learn is all that needed to enjoy Ubuntu or any OS. I am not here to persuade you to stay with Ubuntu and I am definitely not advocating that Ubuntu is better than any other OS but I would say it is different from other OS and you have to be patient with it to learn to handle.
For example,could you learn to drive in a month? No you have to learn and pass a test before you get your licence. But learning Ubuntu is very simple and with the amount of help from this Forum anyone can make it. I have very little knowledge about these computers but I managed to install Ubuntu and enjoy using it(I have to tell you I do not know how to do many things in Ubuntu)but I am not worried because if I run in to trouble I can always get help here.
And most importantly,Ubuntu is not Windows(ie:it doesn't work the way windows does).
It is entirely up to you whether you want to stay or leave for another OS,make sure you are happy with whatever system you are comfortable with. By the way,Windows is not an American word and it is English word(little country called England in Europe).

[Myglaren]

Very nicely done Karasuman, you almost got me there.

Moo to you too :)

[cariboo]

I think there should be some sort of sarcasm tag for those that don't get it:)

Jim

[nowshining]

lol - almost convinced me :P Karasuman, Goodwork on the words, sentences, etc.. Again they are all good structure, and very convincing. ;) A++++++

[rokytnji]

:biggrin::lolflag::mrgreen::grin: And its really bothersome when ya click on a link and Firefox warns you its an Attack site instead of openinig it normally like IE would.

[redchief]

chastity is it's own punishment:)

[alsamman]

lol @ apt-get moo

[NikS]

True, Great work on words...
lol!

[PrimoTurbo]

I completely agree with the original poster, I think Ubuntu is completely irrelevant when compared to something like Windows. The environment is designed in a different way. Why didn't Linus foresee the problems with installation and updates, perhaps instead of flying in space he could have designed an operating system that better mimics Windows and its security policies.

When installing Ubuntu I am often frustrated because generic drivers get installed automatically to makes my network card, keyboard, mouse, monitor and even video card to a lesser extent work. This is insane, I have a cd full of drivers! Why can't I waste my time and install these instead?

Why am I not admin? Why do I have to type sudo!!! I want to be able to delete the useless directories like usr and the rest on the file system. Where are my program files, I demand answers from Linus and his brother Shutleworth. What's up with the penguin mascot? Completely throws me off.

Also where is internet explorer, I don't trust these communist funded open source browsers like firebox or whatever. What's with the constant furry icons and mascots. A fox, a pidgin, a penguin, a gimp (what the hell is a gimp btw?)...This is completely ridiculous. Hardy Heron? Is that a sexual reference?...

[milia]

That's it. I've had it. Ever since I switched to Ubuntu, I'd had nothing but problems. I just can't take it anymore.

Relax, drink a glass of ice tea.


The incredibly easy GUI makes me feel stupid, like I'm not supposed to have to work to use Linux. What's the point of ditching Microsoft if I'm not going to have to do everything with arcane terminal commands I don't really understand? If things just pop up in windows like I'm used to, I feel like I'm using WINDOWS, just without the bloat and security vulnerabilities and meaningless restrictions.

You can learn if you like. You can google and find lots of usefull books or even tutorials on Unix Commands. Specifically
for Ubuntu I believe there is a helpfull wiki, but if you have
to start from the basics of Unix try this:

http://mally.stanford.edu/~sr/computing/basic-unix.html

If you don't like learning , you can always switch back to Windows.


And what's up with this not having permission to execute programs? On Windows, I could just click on an .exe, and it did it's thing, whether it was a virus or a spyware-riddled piece of junk! Now, I keep having to remember to go type in the terminal this stupid chmod command. Why can't everything just be allowed to execute automatically? Huh? Why? Windows used to psychically know that I don't care who gets to install what--why does Ubuntu think I want to know what's going on with my sensitive files?

Its the reason you need antivirus programs in Windows and usually
you don't in Unix-based OS's.

If you don't want to know what's going on with your (sensitive or not) files, I'm beginning to develop a particular question(1).
Tell you about this later on.


And I really hate how hard it is to install programs. On Windows, I could just google until I found something that sounded like it might work, download it, double click, and watch it install itself to wherever it felt like along with really neat bonuses like Gator toolbar to help me find the advertisements that really appeal to ME. Now, I have to use this stupid Add/Remove Programs thing, or WORSE, the synaptic package manager. What's the point of searching for the kind of program I like and just checking a stupid box to install it? How do I know it's installed if I don't get to do any of the button pushing?

Lets say you want to get a program which is in the synaptic package manager.

Open a terminal and write:


sudo aptitude install package

If now you don't know what's the program's name but you know
what it does -kinda, you can view the programms in synaptic that
have to do something with this word.


sudo aptitude search word

Take it easy. I understand its a lot one has to understand
to feel not THAT lost in linux, but here is a wonderfull community to make the transition from Windows to Linux easier
for beginners. So why don't you ASK one per time about your
problems? And I'm sure you'll be guided towards the solution,
if not having the answer easily displayed before your eyes(I don't recommend it).



Don't even get me started on the crappy programs that are available. Open Office is absolutely awful. It's just like Microsoft Word, only I didn't have to pay for it, so I KNOW it's just not as good. And GIMP is a piece of junk. It lets me do almost everything Photoshop does, but, again, what's the catch? Why didn't I have to pay $200 for it? Because it's a piece of junk! That's why!

If openoffice is awful and is exactly like Word, that means you
think that MS Word is awful too. Try writing your documents in latex then, since you're not into WYSIWYG programs (that was a joke).


And then there's that whole Wine thing. If I can just run Windows programs like I'm running Windows, why not just run Windows in the first place? Why am I wasting my time with Ubuntu?

I have really no idea why you do that.

Let me ask you a couple questions(2):

-For which specific work do you need an OS (Windows/Linux).
-If the above task is able to be fulfilled in Windows why did
you switch to Linux?

Think about your needs and choose the operation system that
gives you what you need.



How do you even pronounce Ubuntu? Why couldn't they give it a nice, normal, American name, like Windows? Only not Windows, obviously, because Microsoft got there first.

Get real.


Now, I'll tell you all how you can stop me from abandoning Ubuntu and going back to paying lots of money for vulnerable software that only gets improved if the company producing it thinks the update is going to be cost-effective. In spite of all the problems I've just listed, I'll keep using Ubuntu for just ONE MORE DAY if someone tells me how to fix my problem.

That's blackmail. I personally DONT GIVE A DAMN if you use LINUX
or WINDOWS.

Stop being THAT SPOILLED, GROW UP, and answer the questions (2).


When I go into the terminal and type,


aptitude help

I am informed that "this aptitude does not have super cow powers."

How do I get super cow powers? I tried


apt-get moo

but still no powers. :(

If I understand correct, you want to see the manual of aptitude.
Try


man aptitude

Also try


man apt-get or

if you want to see a brief command instructions set
simply type
apt-get or
sudo apt-get if you get prompted that
permission denied.

I apologise for my temper beforehand, but hey, working with
Linux none said is an easy task. Its like the persuit of knowledge. There is no "easy path" for that.
So you can ask politely, without whining about what you like
or don't like, on your problems and be sure you will get
the answers you were looking.

A more difficult path is of course googling, reading and experimenting. Doing that you will figure out lots of things
by yourself, will give you selfconfidence, and damn that feels
great.

Summing up, prioritise your needs from an OS, and choose whether
you have time for looking for answers to your problems. Because
problems will always be coming. But you can always ignore them
if they are minor to your work (I worked on my ubuntu without
3D graphics for 5 months, and after that I solved the problem,
with the aid of community help that helped me reason out lots
of cases of "what the heck is going wrong").

[PrimoTurbo]

http://www.dsfanboy.com/media/2006/02/Sarcasm.jpg

How do you miss this exactly?

[milia]

I completely agree with the original poster, I think Ubuntu is completely irrelevant when compared to something like Windows. The environment is designed in a different way. Why didn't Linus foresee the problems with installation and updates, perhaps instead of flying in space he could have designed an operating system that better mimics Windows and its security policies.

When installing Ubuntu I am often frustrated because generic drivers get installed automatically to makes my network card, keyboard, mouse, monitor and even video card to a lesser extent work. This is insane, I have a cd full of drivers! Why can't I waste my time and install these instead?

Why am I not admin? Why do I have to type sudo!!! I want to be able to delete the useless directories like usr and the rest on the file system. Where are my program files, I demand answers from Linus and his brother Shutleworth. What's up with the penguin mascot? Completely throws me off.

Also where is internet explorer, I don't trust these communist funded open source browsers like firebox or whatever. What's with the constant furry icons and mascots. A fox, a pidgin, a penguin, a gimp (what the hell is a gimp btw?)...This is completely ridiculous. Hardy Heron? Is that a sexual reference?...

You demand?

Have you even googled a bit?

Who are you to demand things? Did anyone promised you anything?

You demand answers but don't show any effort from your side
to find the answers by yourself.

And that's what I call a total timewaster.

Go do your homework kid, and then come out with questions proving
that you tried. And then someone will give you hints of full
answers.

[macogw]

Relax, drink a glass of ice tea.
You might need a repair shop. Your sarcasm detector is broken.

[milia]

http://www.dsfanboy.com/media/2006/02/Sarcasm.jpg

How do you miss this exactly?

What is sarcasm ?

[milia]

You might need a repair shop. Your sarcasm detector is broken.

Damaged beyond repair...

I;ll be put away or something
sooner or later.

My apologizes to all I've offended.

[brownknight]

Nice one! Hope everybody caught up before reacting :)

[Canis familiaris]

Rofl!

[Sukarn]

haha, good one.

For your question, try aptitude -v moo and keep adding a v to the v in it.

[brownknight]

@milia - you obviously didnt get it. she likes ubuntu and her play of words is really fantastic.

[Canis familiaris]

That's it. I've had it. Ever since I switched to Ubuntu, I'd had nothing but problems. I just can't take it anymore.

The incredibly easy GUI makes me feel stupid, like I'm not supposed to have to work to use Linux. What's the point of ditching Microsoft if I'm not going to have to do everything with arcane terminal commands I don't really understand? If things just pop up in windows like I'm used to, I feel like I'm using WINDOWS, just without the bloat and security vulnerabilities and meaningless restrictions.

And what's up with this not having permission to execute programs? On Windows, I could just click on an .exe, and it did it's thing, whether it was a virus or a spyware-riddled piece of junk! Now, I keep having to remember to go type in the terminal this stupid chmod command. Why can't everything just be allowed to execute automatically? Huh? Why? Windows used to psychically know that I don't care who gets to install what--why does Ubuntu think I want to know what's going on with my sensitive files?

And I really hate how hard it is to install programs. On Windows, I could just google until I found something that sounded like it might work, download it, double click, and watch it install itself to wherever it felt like along with really neat bonuses like Gator toolbar to help me find the advertisements that really appeal to ME. Now, I have to use this stupid Add/Remove Programs thing, or WORSE, the synaptic package manager. What's the point of searching for the kind of program I like and just checking a stupid box to install it? How do I know it's installed if I don't get to do any of the button pushing?

Don't even get me started on the crappy programs that are available. Open Office is absolutely awful. It's just like Microsoft Word, only I didn't have to pay for it, so I KNOW it's just not as good. And GIMP is a piece of junk. It lets me do almost everything Photoshop does, but, again, what's the catch? Why didn't I have to pay $200 for it? Because it's a piece of junk! That's why!

And then there's that whole Wine thing. If I can just run Windows programs like I'm running Windows, why not just run Windows in the first place? Why am I wasting my time with Ubuntu?

How do you even pronounce Ubuntu? Why couldn't they give it a nice, normal, American name, like Windows? Only not Windows, obviously, because Microsoft got there first.

Now, I'll tell you all how you can stop me from abandoning Ubuntu and going back to paying lots of money for vulnerable software that only gets improved if the company producing it thinks the update is going to be cost-effective. In spite of all the problems I've just listed, I'll keep using Ubuntu for just ONE MORE DAY if someone tells me how to fix my problem.

When I go into the terminal and type,


aptitude help

I am informed that "this aptitude does not have super cow powers."

How do I get super cow powers? I tried


apt-get moo

but still no powers. :(

:lolflag:
I know you are joking but indeed few users do rant like this in the testimonials.

[milia]

@milia - you obviously didnt get it. she likes ubuntu and her play of words is really fantastic.

Lol.

Now I see it. My urge to answer obvious questions makes me really
stupid. Or is it the other way round?:lolflag: Guess its both !

[Canis familiaris]

You demand?

Have you even googled a bit?

Who are you to demand things? Did anyone promised you anything?

You demand answers but don't show any effort from your side
to find the answers by yourself.

And that's what I call a total timewaster.

Go do your homework kid, and then come out with questions proving
that you tried. And then someone will give you hints of full
answers.

I think there should be a disclaimer:
WARNING! HAZARDOUS SARCASM LEVELS DETECTED!
SERIOUS SIGNS ARE CRITICAL
EMERGENCY! USER LOL IN MINUTES!

[wdaniels]

Damaged beyond repair...

I;ll be put away or something
sooner or later.

My apologizes to all I've offended.

Rule #1: Never apologise for yourself! :D

Relax and have a frappe, file mou :)

[gameryoshi600]

Nice one LOL!

[milia]

Rule #1: Never apologise for yourself! :D

Relax and have a frappe, file mou :)

Exams period(aka "eksetastiki") sux.

'll go get some beer ;).

[Koori23]

Relax, drink a glass of ice tea.



You can learn if you like. You can google and find lots of usefull books or even tutorials on Unix Commands. Specifically
for Ubuntu I believe there is a helpfull wiki, but if you have
to start from the basics of Unix try this:

http://mally.stanford.edu/~sr/computing/basic-unix.html

If you don't like learning , you can always switch back to Windows.



Its the reason you need antivirus programs in Windows and usually
you don't in Unix-based OS's.

If you don't want to know what's going on with your (sensitive or not) files, I'm beginning to develop a particular question(1).
Tell you about this later on.



Lets say you want to get a program which is in the synaptic package manager.

Open a terminal and write:


sudo aptitude install package

If now you don't know what's the program's name but you know
what it does -kinda, you can view the programms in synaptic that
have to do something with this word.


sudo aptitude search word

Take it easy. I understand its a lot one has to understand
to feel not THAT lost in linux, but here is a wonderfull community to make the transition from Windows to Linux easier
for beginners. So why don't you ASK one per time about your
problems? And I'm sure you'll be guided towards the solution,
if not having the answer easily displayed before your eyes(I don't recommend it).




If openoffice is awful and is exactly like Word, that means you
think that MS Word is awful too. Try writing your documents in latex then, since you're not into WYSIWYG programs (that was a joke).



I have really no idea why you do that.

Let me ask you a couple questions(2):

-For which specific work do you need an OS (Windows/Linux).
-If the above task is able to be fulfilled in Windows why did
you switch to Linux?

Think about your needs and choose the operation system that
gives you what you need.




Get real.



That's blackmail. I personally DONT GIVE A DAMN if you use LINUX
or WINDOWS.

Stop being THAT SPOILLED, GROW UP, and answer the questions (2).



If I understand correct, you want to see the manual of aptitude.
Try


man aptitude

Also try


man apt-get or

if you want to see a brief command instructions set
simply type
apt-get or
sudo apt-get if you get prompted that
permission denied.

I apologise for my temper beforehand, but hey, working with
Linux none said is an easy task. Its like the persuit of knowledge. There is no "easy path" for that.
So you can ask politely, without whining about what you like
or don't like, on your problems and be sure you will get
the answers you were looking.

A more difficult path is of course googling, reading and experimenting. Doing that you will figure out lots of things
by yourself, will give you selfconfidence, and damn that feels
great.

Summing up, prioritise your needs from an OS, and choose whether
you have time for looking for answers to your problems. Because
problems will always be coming. But you can always ignore them
if they are minor to your work (I worked on my ubuntu without
3D graphics for 5 months, and after that I solved the problem,
with the aid of community help that helped me reason out lots
of cases of "what the heck is going wrong").


WOW!! This person CANNOT TAKE A JOKE.

[bobnutfield]

I have to marvel at the posters who responded as though the OP was serious. For all of those posters, I have some beachfront property in Arizona that I am selling extremely cheaply.

[wdaniels]

Also where is internet explorer, I don't trust these communist funded open source browsers like firebox or whatever.

Too right! Just type "about:mozilla" in the address bar and you'll soon see the truth!

[Canis familiaris]

I have to marvel at the posters who responded as though the OP was serious. For all of those posters, I have some beachfront property in Arizona that I am selling extremely cheaply.

THough I caught the sarcasm, I have seen serious posts similar to this one.

[NikS]

This post just reminded me of something Really beautiful I had read when I joined the forum...
Check this one out:

http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?t=708720

[Canis familiaris]

this Post Just Reminded Me Of Something Really Beautiful I Had Read When I Joined The Forum...
Check This One Out:

http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?t=708720

Rofl

[BwackNinja]

I've seen many 'giving up ubuntu' threads, and what's sad is that even if I completely ignored the thick layer of sarcasm, your post made more sense and showed more effort put into ubuntu than a lot of the serious giving up threads.

At the beginning, I almost believed you :P

This is amazing, and bookmarkworthy :D

[Acglaphotis]

My satire detector broke ^^.

[steveneddy]

Ninjai response below: (you may need to be a Ninjai to read it)

moo

[Sukarn]

Ninjai response below: (you may need to be a Ninjai to read it)

moo
You're no fun, I was once taught by the great ninja AstalaVista how to write without letting almost anyone know what you wrote.

[jobo1313]

If you dont like ubuntu why complain. Windows is as slow as an old lady. And Bill Gates stole the code for ms-dos. Since then all microsoft has put out is junk. But if you dont like ubuntu then STOP POSTING ON THE FORUM.
I have found that ubuntu is so much fasting then VISTA. Or XP ever was. Wine runs windows programs that windows cant run because you updated your OS to the next OS microsoft puts out. I've have been patient with windows but that never got anyplace.:mad:

[Canis familiaris]

If you dont like ubuntu why complain. Windows is as slow as an old lady. And Bill Gates stole the code for ms-dos. Since then all microsoft has put out is junk. But if you dont like ubuntu then STOP POSTING ON THE FORUM.
I have found that ubuntu is so much fasting then VISTA. Or XP ever was. Wine runs windows programs that windows cant run because you updated your OS to the next OS microsoft puts out. I've have been patient with windows but that never got anyplace.:mad:

:lolflag:
This is a sarcastic post man! Can't you see the sarcasm! Read the post again. It is humourous.

[Sukarn]

If you dont like ubuntu why complain. Windows is as slow as an old lady. And Bill Gates stole the code for ms-dos. Since then all microsoft has put out is junk. But if you dont like ubuntu then STOP POSTING ON THE FORUM.
I have found that ubuntu is so much fasting then VISTA. Or XP ever was. Wine runs windows programs that windows cant run because you updated your OS to the next OS microsoft puts out. I've have been patient with windows but that never got anyplace.:mad:

I detect a failure of reading the entire original post of the author of the thread.

[steveneddy]

You're no fun, I was once taught by the great ninja AstalaVista how to write without letting almost anyone know what you wrote.

I learned from the mighty AstlaVista the life long
Secret Ninjai message
secret to hiding messages in forum posts.
Reading between the lines
Can you find my hidden message?
is a Ninjai secret
Only a true Ninjai will know.

[Sukarn]

I learned from the mighty AstlaVista the life long
Secret Ninjai message
secret to hiding messages in forum posts.
Reading between the lines
Can you find my hidden message?
is a Ninjai secret
Only a true Ninjai will know.

Yes, I can read that. Now lets not turn this into another ninja thread.

[Canis familiaris]

I'm not a ninja. I can still dechiper :lolflag:

I learned from the mighty AstlaVista the life long
Secret Ninjai message
secret to hiding messages in forum posts.
Reading between the lines
Can you find my hidden message?
is a Ninjai secret
Only a true Ninjai will know.

[steveneddy]

I'm not a ninja. I can still dechiper :lolflag:

I learned from the mighty AstlaVista the life long
Secret Ninjai message
secret to hiding messages in forum posts.
Reading between the lines
Can you find my hidden message?
is a Ninjai secret
Only a true Ninjai will know.

Ah - Ninjai padawan. Good.

[milia]

WOW!! This person CANNOT TAKE A JOKE.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !

See, you were wrong.

ps: times as these Sheldon from 'The big bang theory' comes in mind...

[|{urse]

lol this thread was tagged with:

sarcasm detectors on

[Chilli Bob]

To be fair, if English is not your first language, things like sarcasm and satire are really hard to pick up on. It's always a bit of a gamble on an international forum.

Cheers to the OP though,

[wersdaluv]

Totally fell for it...

You know what,
(__)
(oo)
/------\/
/ | ||
* /\---/\
~~ ~~
...."Have you mooed today?"...
is the super cow, I regret to say.

[BlueSkyNIS]

(__)
(oo)
/------\/
/ | ||
* /\---/\
~~ ~~
...."Have you mooed today?"...

[VitaLiNux]

OMG cryyyy babyyyy! Get over it! If you don't like don't use it. If you need help just ask.

Well, man, you didn't get her sarcasm, obviously:lolflag:

[Kingsley]

OP, I totally agree with you!

Ubuntu is the worst free game I've ever downloaded. I had to format my drive!

[semasont]

... Your sarcasm detector is broken...


xD :lolflag:

[flytripper]

Kill the troll who started all this with your sudo apt-get pewpewlazors hehehe

also, this is not sarcasm(not british at least) this is what we call tongue in cheek humour..

[trevelyan]

Now, I'll tell you all how you can stop me from abandoning Ubuntu and going back to paying lots of money for vulnerable software that only gets improved if the company producing it thinks the update is going to be cost-effective. In spite of all the problems I've just listed, I'll keep using Ubuntu for just ONE MORE DAY if someone tells me how to fix my problem.

When I go into the terminal and type,


aptitude help

I am informed that "this aptitude does not have super cow powers."

How do I get super cow powers? I tried


apt-get moo

but still no powers. :(
When i got to that part is when i got the joke.
i was reading... and kept thinking.. this is a joke... yeah.... ummm... is it? uh.... yes it is......not? uh.... Yeah it is!!! LOL.

good one. :D
made me laugh.

[kleeman]

Uncle Bill here.

Thanks for your kind words re windows. All my efforts in Redmond over the past 30 years seem worthwhile when I read of another satisfied user like yourself who can see through the Ubuntu hype. Keep up that disinfection routine and remember that monopolistic software set defacto standards for the PC business which allowed it to flourish so is a good thing for Amerika. Don't be fooled by all the linux zealots in this thread and others.

Linux is a communist plot to destroy Amerika.
Happy 4th of July!

Gatesy..

[Stu09]

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b347/droogie6655321/sarcasm_detector.jpg
http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/camerafail.jpg

[Linux&Gsus]

To be fair, if English is not your first language, things like sarcasm and satire are really hard to pick up on. It's always a bit of a gamble on an international forum.

Cheers to the OP though,

Is that so? I don't know, it might be just me. But I almost spilled my tea all over the computer after only a few sentences. Who would have paid for a new laptop then? :mad:

Anyways, it really might be just me (btw I am one of those ESLs). The OPs post is really brilliant. But with just a little bit using that thing in between the ears while reading it's obvious, to me anyways. Still brilliant. Bookmark worthy. I should copy that and write an email to my co-workers who try to convince me that Linux can't be good. Wanna see their faces.
:lolflag:

Still laughing. After all, might be because my poor co-workers have to deal all the time with my sarcastic jokes. No matter if German or English.
Now I really have compassion with those around me. OK, that was a lie. :biggrin:

[pavel989]

really like this.

My main thing is i want those annoying popups back that u get in XP. like the ones advertising stuff i dont think anyone needs? what happened to those nice little things. hogged up so much cpu and ram for me...

[Ioky]

if you feel ubuntu is too stupid for you, then you should try Arch Linux.

[2cute4u]

well before you give up totally on ubuntu. you might want to try the following



*************Censored by the Borg******************


that will get rid of that pesky security and make it possible for to install the proper viruses and spyware that are currently being blocked.

next you may want to try

sudo aptitude purge gnome-corethis will get rid of that patronizing GUI thing that's giving you so much grief.

of course, you should also make sure your password is no more than 3 characters, so it's easy to remeber. And you want to make sure to have telnetd installed ,so that you can access your computer across the net, without having to deal with that annoying encryption stuff.

there probaqbly a few more things you need to do to totally solve your problemm but these few things will go along way to giving you the unstable, vunerable, and difficult experience that your computer is capaple of giving you.

[Sukarn]

well before you give up totally on ubuntu. you might want to try the following

You know, some idiot might actually try that out. Maybe you would like to edit that post.

[Nkosi]

The humour here is tight, very tight! Nicely done and a great read.

[mikjp]

This is funniest post I've read in years :lolflag:

[BwackNinja]

apt-get has super cow powers, just type "apt-get" in a terminal and you'll see

apt-get > aptitude :D

[fatality_uk]

*George walks into corner and chuckles*
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[LaRoza]

You know, some idiot might actually try that out. Maybe you would like to edit that post.

Hey! Don't call me an idiot.

Wait...I wasn't supposed to try that...

Well, it was snipped just in case. Please do not post commands like that people; curiosity ko'd the feline, and pandora is in all of us.