What Windows questions should a true Linux user ask?

[Sunnz]

This is kind of in response to "Funniest questions posed by a newcomer to Linux from Windows (http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?p=4361023#post4361023)"...

... for a full time Linux user who have never used Windows (or simply haven't used Windows for a long time.) what do you think they would ask?

"How can I enable extra repositories in Add/Remove Programs"

"Where that big red icon that brings you to the interweb?"

"Where's the manual pages?"

"How do I switch to other workspace?"

"Isn't that DRM stuff illegal?"

Or better yet, when a Vista user shows off Flip 3D...
"Nice Compiz Fusion plugin!! I personally like Scale more!!"

Please tell me what you might ask, and have fun!!

:popcorn:

[SunnyRabbiera]

why the ugly blue theme? (XP)
Didnt apple have that first? (vista)

[LaRoza]

* I just got a web cam, I plugged it in and it didn't work. I consulted the docs, and I followed the intructions on the CD. Now my computer want to reboot. Why does it want to reboot?

* I went to a web page, and programs were executed with root permission automatically, how do I stop that?

* I went to a web page and all my CD and DVD drives opened! What the...? (I wrote a site that did that once for IE users...)

[quanumphaze]

I have to pay for WHAT?!?!?!

[LaRoza]

I have to pay for WHAT?!?!?!

The RIGHT to use it, not the actual software.

[kpkeerthi]

How do I upgrade my whole system?
I'm bored of click-click-click. Is there a shell ?

[quanumphaze]

The RIGHT to use it, not the actual software.

This Windows thing is too hard. http://ubuntuforums.org/images/icons/icon8.gif

I'm leaving Windows forever <begin rant>............

[Bachstelze]

* Hey! Why is there a backslash in my file path ? I have no special characters in it... And what's this C: thing, anyway ? And where's the bloody root ??
* Err, nice OS you have here... Now, uh, where's the bathroom?

[SunnyRabbiera]

* Err, nice OS you have here... Now, uh, where's the bathroom?


Actually this is a universal question

[lnx4me]

WOW it has a screen and ICONS and now it has a blue screen that reads. Your computer stopped responding and windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer. stop code 0x000000.

Didn't know software could damage the computer. What about the warranty? oh there isn't one and I paid how much? Dont worry it will be fixed in the next service pack release that will be out in about 4 months.

I also need to pay for an anti- virus , anti-spam and etc etc etc.

[Tristam Green]

(Vista) Why on earth does this thing keep asking me if I am sure I want to do this? Yes, I am sure...please let me install my God-forsaken program...

[red_Marvin]

Why do I need to choose where to install my programs?

[forrestcupp]

Where is the software installer program that lets me choose what software I want to install? You mean I have to find software on my own?

There's a new version of Audacity out. Why didn't Windows automatically update it to the new version?

[Bachstelze]

* Man, that thing sucks! Where can I get the source? That will be a good laugh!

(a/k/a/ Why Microsoft Won't Show You The Source)

[Bachstelze]

Actually this is a universal question

Maybe the joke was that you're more likely to ask it when you've been in front of a Windows system for too long?

[zerhacke]

(Vista) This has got to be the worst GDM theme on the planet...

[Sunnz]

"This IE thing doesn't work very well, how do I uninstall it?"

(WGA) "Hahahaha very funny, this has to be a joke right? I mean, there were LGA, come on, how do I disable this now?" :D

"What's the point of doing backup in the background without my permission when the said backup can't be used without an upgrade to the whole OS?" (Vista)

"What the hell is this Registry thing? Why can't they just use plain text files, you know, like Linux?" :p

[Mazza558]

Why is this program still in my start menu after I uninstalled it?

Why do I need all these programs in my taskbar to protect me?

[jken146]

"What is spyware?"

[mr.propre]

I'm bored of click-click-click. Is there a shell ?

Thast one of the things I miss the most in Windows. No decent command line suport.

"LS won't wor, how do you see the files in your terminal?"

[Tristam Green]

"LS won't wor, how do you see the files in your terminal?"
I must be moving up in the world of Windows-to-Linux conversion...

I did this for the first time yesterday in the Windows CL prompt and kept typing "ls" about 3 times after I got "command not found".



More Questions: Why doesn't it look like (GNOME/Flux/E17/KDE/Xfce)?

[bobbocanfly]

"Why cant i change the theme? This (blue|black) is ugly!"

"This WIndow Manager is too heavy for me. How do i install Fluxbox?"

[phrostbyte]

Where is the package manager?
Where the hell is grep?
How do I change this moronic window manager?

[phrostbyte]

I must be moving up in the world of Windows-to-Linux conversion...

I did this for the first time yesterday in the Windows CL prompt and kept typing "ls" about 3 times after I got "command not found".

Hahaha I do this all the time. So annoying! :)

[steveneddy]

where are the bookmarks in this stoopid IE7 thing?

[forrestcupp]

where are the bookmarks in this stoopid IE7 thing?

That's funny because my wife just yelled at me last night asking where the 'favorites' are in this stupid Firefox thing.

[phenest]

Why did I waste my time with it?

Why do you want to waste your time with it?

[bobbocanfly]

(after installing Windows after Linux) "Where has my MBR gone?"
"What dos this big blue screen do?"
"Did i really just waste 20 minutes waiting for this to startup and log me in?"

[jken146]

Where's the live CD?

[Het Irv]

Where can I get help when I mess this up?

*I have yet to find a Windows forum even close to as active as this one is, although I haven't tried the ones you have to pay for.

[k2t0f12d]

This pop-up says my registry is dirty. What the hell is a registry? How did it get dirty? How did this pop-up find out the registry is dirty? Why do I need to download extra software to maintain this registry thing? Shouldn't it automatically come with the tools I need to do that? What in the hell do I even need a registry for, anyway?

[dmitryilyin]

Hmm why do people think that windows do not have virtual desktops? Even XP have them out of the box even with animated switch.)))
Windows shell is actually bad out of the box, but you can install Cygwin or gnu soft such as grep ls cp mv find for win32 and some replacement for command.com such as freecom.

[Tristam Green]

Hmm why do people think that windows do not have virtual desktops? Even XP have them out of the box even with animated switch.

I hope you're kidding....

[smartboyathome]

How do I change this moronic window manager?

Easy, you pay $30 for a commercial program which will allow you to change the theme. :p

[Takmadeus]

I pulsed Ctrl+Alt+F1, now, where is the ******* tty1?

Where can i download the kernel source?

[Whiffle]

Why can't I paste with middle click???



(actually I do that every time I use windows...)

[Bachstelze]

Why can't I paste with middle click???



(actually I do that every time I use windows...)

Same here ;)

Ok, that one is famous but :

"Why the hell do I have to click "Start" when I want to shut down the system?"

[Whiffle]

Same here ;)

Ok, that one is famous but :

"Why the hell do I have to click "Start" when I want to shut down the system?"


Man, thats weird. I was thinking of that one before I posted the other one, because I thought it was too famous..



Great minds thiink alike.


(and so do ours)

[Tristam Green]

Same here ;)

Ok, that one is famous but :

"Why the hell do I have to click "Start" when I want to shut down the system?"

That's why I reg-edited mine to say "'splode".

Question: You mean I have to download a separate program to get weather on my desktop? And chances are, it has spyware/adware?

[klange]

I must be moving up in the world of Windows-to-Linux conversion...

I did this for the first time yesterday in the Windows CL prompt and kept typing "ls" about 3 times after I got "command not found".
I do that all the time in Comp. Sci... And inverting my slashes when cding...

[FranMichaels]

How do I replace the file manager?
Where is the Office Suite?
How do I burn a DVD?
How do I install something non-interactively?
How does one keep 3rd party applications up to date and secure?
How do I make the default media player play OGG and FLAC?
How do I customize the themes, icons, colors, etc.?
How easy is it to compile software?
Why does the package manager only allow removal and reinstalls?
Who can provide updates to the OS?
Who inspects the code in the OS?
Who can support the OS after Microsoft drops it?
What's with the activation and registration codes?
Why does Microsoft sell an anti-virus package for the OS it produces?
Can I sell this software after I've uninstalled it? :confused:

If anything, this Linux user would ask:
Would you have bought Windows if it did not come with your machine?
Wine project? :)

[amingv]

Some of my current woes (and I've only been using Linux since the end of October, but Windows has become so uncomfortable to use...)

-No wireless OR wired internet: how am I supposed to connect to driverguide.com?
-
ipconfig /all | grep Netgear
WTF!!! No pipes?!?
-
cd ~
The system cannot find the path specified.
Did I loose all my personal files?

-I have to pay HOW MUCH for this 'driver detective'?!!?

-Who the **** was the *GENIOUZ* to use REM for the comments!!!?

-What do you mean my Norton subscription expired? It's just been a year since I paid for the **** thing!!!

-
Operation at 0xDEADBEEF cancelled, the memory could not be 'read'.
How much did I pay for this thing again?

-I get a blue screen at boottime after installing my video drivers. How do I reconfigure X?

-
You changed your motherboard, so you must be trying to steal Windows. Disassemble your computer and throw it in the trash can, or we'll call the police.
Stallman, are you still there?


For some reason I unconsciously keep typing "sudo" when I use cmd... It makes me happy. I'll never go back.

[solitaire]

where's the other desktops?

what's this iTunes thingie?

[days_of_ruin]

* I just got a web cam, I plugged it in and it didn't work. I consulted the docs, and I followed the intructions on the CD. Now my computer want to reboot. Why does it want to reboot?

* I went to a web page, and programs were executed with root permission automatically, how do I stop that?

* I went to a web page and all my CD and DVD drives opened! What the...? (I wrote a site that did that once for IE users...)

Cool is that site still online?>.>

[kpkeerthi]

How do I make it look like ubuntu?

[k2t0f12d]

C:> emacs
Bad command or filename
C:> ./emacs
Bad command or filename
C:> /usr/bin/emacs
Bad command or filename
C:> /usr/local/bin/emacs
Bad command or filename
C:> sudo emacs
Bad command or filename

:confused:

[Fred_E _krugar]

Why doesnt my sound and Internet work right off the bat on a fresh install??

[yatt]

How do I add another panel?
How do I make the clock display the time without making the panel twice as big?
For that manner, how do I make it display 24 hour time with seconds?
Is there any way to achieve the functionality of Expose on OS X or scale on Linux?
How do I change the icons?
The file manager usually defaults to list when entering a directory I have never visited. How do I make it default to medium icons?
While using the medium icons view, it still shows the list headers even though they no longer make sense?
Middle click pasting.

[FuturePilot]

Haha, this is a funny thread.
I was just about ROFL after reading this entire thing:lolflag:

Why doesn't ./configure && make && sudo make install work?
Where's the package manager?
How do I install something from the command line?
Why do I have to reboot my computer so much?
Where's my cube!?
Why is my computer telling me it's going to reboot in 5 minutes? :-s
Where's my /media/Stuff/ drive?
What's the equivalent of /usr/bin/?
ZOMG! I just logged in as root!! How do I not do that!?
I just deleted a file from C:\WINDOWS\System32 and it didn't ask for a password?!
Where can I download the source code for this OS?

[sloggerkhan]

Hmm why do people think that windows do not have virtual desktops? Even XP have them out of the box even with animated switch.)))
Windows shell is actually bad out of the box, but you can install Cygwin or gnu soft such as grep ls cp mv find for win32 and some replacement for command.com such as freecom.

For xp, virtual desktops is a power toy, and it doesn't even have keyboard shortcuts. Really annoying. Also, either everything is shared between desktops, or it's stuck on one.

I believe MS sells/offers an add-on of some kind to make their terminal posix compliant, but I might be wrong.



"how do a make my users and groups folder its own partition?"

[amingv]

Why is my computer telling me it's going to reboot in 5 minutes? :-s


Oh Lord how I hate that!!! Specially when I'm in the first place in the last lap of F-Zero (I swear, it does it on purpose).

[lncoll]

Where is grep?.
Why i(pf)config can't do changes?.
The compiler isn't free?.
Only cmd?, what can I use to real work?.

[Bachstelze]

The compiler isn't free?

You can use gcc in Windows, you know... And there are lots of other free (beer) C compilers.

"Wow, great! *grins* Now, how do I install it on my SPARC?"

[laxmanb]

I don't like thses Windows bashing topics. If one goes nit picking with Ubuntu, I just want to say there's a whole lot of nit to pick!!

[zekica]

"how do a make my users and groups folder its own partition?"

I think you can do that. Windows NT/2K/XP and maybe Vista are able to mount another partition inside an NTFS folder. You have to go to Disk Management and configure it there...

[Sunnz]

I don't like thses Windows bashing topics. If one goes nit picking with Ubuntu, I just want to say there's a whole lot of nit to pick!!

It is not Windows bashing, it just I am annoyed that Windows users asks these kind of question for Linux all the time, but it is so rare to see Linux users who lacks experience in Windows asking these type questions.

I hate that people just assume I know everything about Windows computers just when they know I don't use Windows... so from today, I will pretend that I don't know a thing about Windows.

[the_darkside_986]

* Where is a free, open-source driver for ext3 and ext4 filesystems and how do I mount them?
* How do I configure Windows to use ext3 instead of NTFS during installation?
* How do I shutdown the display system. Ctrl+Alt+Backspace doesn't seem to work.
* Where are the alternate tty's I can log into whenever my login process locks up? Ctrl+F# doesn't seem to do anything.
* How do I run Cygwin/X as my shell only instead of explorer?
* How do I build and install Gnome 2.2 or KDE 3.5.8 in Cygwin? I want the whole thing not just a handful of KDE 4 applications ported natively.
* How do I configure a user's login to be a true fullscreen cygwin bash prompt with NO display system running?
* What is the Windows command for logging out and returning to the login screen?

Most of those are real questions I am wondering about. I set up a user called "cygtest" and set their "shell" value to "C:\cygwin\Cygwin.bat" so it shows a cygwin prompt window. But the only way to log back out is Ctrl+Alt+Delete (task manager.) the logout command only kills the cygwin window and leaves a big empty screen with nothing but a pretty picture. Anyway, I left that account password-unprotected so sure, anyone at my house is free to use it if they can figure it out :)

[Sunnz]

Well the filesystem thing is a bit harsh, Linux itself can't be installed on a NTFS partition, of course that's not really Linux's fault as NTFS lacks proper documentation... but for the record you cannot install Linux's boot partition on anything else other than ext2/3 neither. (Installing the boot partition on reiserfs does not work.)

However there is a freeware driver for ext2 files system for Windows, fs-driver. It can be used to mount ext3 partitions, since ext3 is just ext2 with added journaling... not sure if it has a free license though, it does not seem to be open source. I am happy that I don't need fat to remain compatibility with Windows colleagues!!

[Mazza558]

"Why the hell do I have to click "Start" when I want to shut down the system?"

Reminds me of a Windows fan I'm friends with trying to justify this. He said he was "starting the process of shutting down", and thought "System > Quit" didn't make sense.

[blithen]

This pop-up says my registry is dirty. What the hell is a registry? How did it get dirty? How did this pop-up find out the registry is dirty? Why do I need to download extra software to maintain this registry thing? Shouldn't it automatically come with the tools I need to do that? What in the hell do I even need a registry for, anyway?

xD That was amazing. I never did understand the registry...

[zmjjmz]

"Did it seriously just take me through a wizard to extract files?!"
This actually happened to me before, and it then went on to take 5 minutes to extract them.
"Is anyone interested in making a version of this with E17?"
"Wait... I'm in the root account?! Why the hell did it just log me into the root account by default?!"
"I have to buy an office suite!? I have to buy an image editing program!? "
"I can't stand having one panel..."

[blithen]

It is not Windows bashing, it just I am annoyed that Windows users asks these kind of question for Linux all the time, but it is so rare to see Linux users who lacks experience in Windows asking these type questions.

I hate that people just assume I know everything about Windows computers just when they know I don't use Windows... so from today, I will pretend that I don't know a thing about Windows.

I'm pretty nerdy but I know a HELL of a lot more about linux then I do windows. And everyone(MEaning the people who ask me for help in windows) except me to know everything!

[ung/xunil]

HELP!!!! I just installed Windows and now I can't boot to Ubuntu!

[FuturePilot]

What do you mean I need extra, not free, software to use different themes!?
Is there anything like FileRoller for opening all types of archives?

[vambo]

Why bother????

[LaRoza]

Is there anything like FileRoller for opening all types of archives?

7zip http://www.7-zip.org/

(In case your question needed answering)

[Namtabmai]

For the British people out there;

* Well it's look o.k but why have you got the American version installed? Why not install the British localisation?
* What do you mean there isn't one? 28 years of developing Windows and they still can't produce a British version where colour/localisation/centre are spelt right?

[the_darkside_986]

Ah yes, 7-zip. I love 7-zip and use it on Windows all the time. The 7z format has nice compression and it would be great if people would use it instead of the damned non-free RAR all the time. In fact, rar isn't even necessary for splitting archives. I downloaded a Solaris iso from Sun's website, and even though it was in multi part *.zip files, they had instructions for putting it all back together.

Anyway, I know how to mount ext3 volumes in Windows XP, but it relies on a closed-source freeware driver. I don't know of any open source one though. Most modern GNU/Linux distros have a variety of filesystem types to use such as XFS, ext, etc. but I don't know why anyone would want to use something like NTFS. I mean, it doesn't even support real symbolic links... and no, a .lnk is not a real link in any sense.

[amingv]

* What is the Windows command for logging out and returning to the login screen?



shutdown -l

This thread has turned out to be rather informative. Hmm...

[qazwsx]

Where is fstab? :confused:
Where is .bashrc?
ctrl+alt+f[1-6] anyone :confused:
Where I can get opensource nv driver (just like to try alternatives)?
How can I port my bash scripts into dos(? or whatever it is called) ?
Is it possible to install KDE 3 natively?

[pjkoczan]

Where is mount/umount? And why do I have to start my filesystem at a physical disk? (Yes, I know Windows does have mount points, but they are sparingly used and were a royal PITA when I tried to use them).

Why won't this thing install my .rpm/.deb package? They really need to make this more user-friendly.

How come it takes 2 minutes after logging in until I can do some work?

Where's SSH? (Later after installing putty or something) Why can't I get my X apps to work on the remote host? (Later still after hours installing and configuring cygwin) Why did it take so long to do that?

So, I'm root, and I didn't have to enter a password? (I know you can require a password, but it's not the default for installations)

So, I only get one solitaire game?

[ung/xunil]

Hey, where in this Start menu is the spreadsheet? Can't find any :(

[Chame_Wizard]

where is adept-manager?:lolflag:

[jpittack]

(Check the newegg reviews of the drive, 7200.11)

Why does this new seagate drive run so slow in Windows? I could fix that in linux. Where is that echo command?
What c-state is my processor in?
What happened to an on-demand governer?
What's with the start button?
(Vista) Why do I go through two menu's to change my display settings? Xp was a right click away.
How the heck do I get vertical scrolling on my touchpad? Why isn't that default?
Why is the fan running so much?
The hard drive keeps doing something. How do I make it quit?
How do I change how my processor behaves at idle?
The next distro(?) comes out next decade?
What's a .exe file?
Why is my wireless taking so long to connect? It won't even tell me its trying to.
Why don't the hotkey's work?(My dell 1501 only has 8 out of 14 working, Ubuntu has the same in hardy)
Where is the alpha version?
Where is the beta version?
I can't even get the RC!?
Where do I report bugs? (If you know where to report, let me know. I have a nasty one)
(Vista) Why can't the OS find a solution to the problem that it created? Why is there a problem in the first place?
Syslog?
How do I mess with the flash drive that I don't have mounted?
I can only have one DE/VM?
Why does this reboot when I install it? It's not done yet!?
Why do I need to open cmd in administator mode? Can't I just use my password once I'm in?
What happened to my hard drive space?
Defrag? Why?
I need to tell it to check my file system?
How do I boot to RAM?
I need how much RAM? (tomshardware.com just had an article about how great vista 64 works with 8GB of RAM)
Why do I need to use IE to get Firefox?
Apt-get? Aptitude?
Why don't I have more then two drivers for my graphics card?

[Aathos]

Why do I have to click in a window to scroll with the scroll wheel?

[the_darkside_986]

Yeah i love being able to scroll without clicking. I do this all the time while programming as I have one Kate text edit window open and Konqueror in another.

On topic: here's a classic, imagine a user calling technical support for software saying, "The box said it requires Windows 2000, XP or better, so I installed Linux..."

[FuturePilot]

Why do I have to click in a window to scroll with the scroll wheel?

I hate that. I've gotten so used to being able to scroll unfocused windows and then when I have to use Windows and I can't do that, it's so frustrating! ](*,)

Who designed the shutdown menu in Vista?
What's the equivalent of .sh scripts?
Can Windows execute .run files?
What do you mean the kernel doesn't have my drivers built in?

[JT9161]

Why cant I sudo rm -rf :biggrin:



(if you even think about running that command without knowing exactly what it does the ghost of Bruce Lee while come for you in your sleep)

[sloggerkhan]

Why do I have to click in a window to scroll with the scroll wheel?

OMG I REALLY REALLY HATE THAT !!

After a few minutes I just want to smash the monitor.

Also,
having to right click->run as->click->type in user name
drives me nuts, too.

[cdtech]

Where's My "any Key" ?

[molom]

What does control+alt+delete do?
Why doesn't control+alt+backspace work?
How do I install KDE?
What's a start button?
What's MS Office?
Propriety, whats that?
Commercial? Oh right thats like Novell.
What does BSOD stand for?
Is it harder than ratpoison?
How come Firefox isn't installed by default?
Where's OpenOffice?
Why doesn't the calculator divide by zero? ;)
Where are the official windows forums?
Is Windows free?
Whats a virus?
Does it use UNIX?
What are drivers?

[swoll1980]

is there like a win-look.org or something I'm not feelin' the green and blue theme

[swoll1980]

non of my .debs will install is there a way around or this? or I installed windows can't connect to the internet it wants to connect to the internet to install drivers for my broadcom adapter is that even possible?

[molom]

is there like a win-look.org or something I'm not feelin' the green and blue theme

:lolflag:

[mr.propre]

"Why can evrybody acces my C drive using \\computername\c$? How do you turn this of?"

[Sunnz]

How do I run Linux program on this? Is there a Wine project for this?

[sstusick]

I don't like thses Windows bashing topics. If one goes nit picking with Ubuntu, I just want to say there's a whole lot of nit to pick!!
Nobody is bashing anything. We're just having good, clean fun. Get a sense of humor.

[Samhain13]

I'm bored with XP. What other Windows distros can you recommend? Where can I get the .torrent?

[masque7]

How do I try this distro before I install it to my computer?

[molom]

How do I run Linux program on this? Is there a Wine project for this?

There is a wine type of program for this its called 'andlinux'
RIPPED!!! ;)

[molom]

Is this a parody of Lindows? :lolflag:

[Sunnz]

There is a wine type of program for this its called 'andlinux'
RIPPED!!! ;)
Wow this thread has indeed become informative! :D

[Black Mage]

What does defrag do?

I got a worm, what does that mean?

Why do I have to pay a terminal license fee?

Is anything free?

How come I have to install drivers for almost everything?

[Joeb454]

How do I restart X?

You mean I have to restart the WHOLE PC?!?!?!

[Samueltehg33k]

1. Why does it keep asking me questions am i on a date or using windows vista?
2. Frozen? i only clicked three times...
3. wheres the terminal?
4. what does ctrl alt del mean?

[original_jamingrit]

mount -t iso9660 -o loop C:\my.iso /mnt
'mount' is not recognized as a program or batch file.
sudo mount -t iso9660 -o loop C:\my.iso /mnt
'sudo'' is not recognized as a program or batch file.
mount -t iso9660 -o loop C:\my.iso E:\
'mount' is not recognized as a program or batch file.

...What's Daemon Tools?

Maybe it's good for games, but seems more like a hobby OS...

[Ptero-4]

Where is the repo to install windows from?
What do you say, I need to install it over ubuntu, can't it resize itself to fit alongside ubuntu?
I hate this moronic DE, HOW DO I INSTALL XFCE4?

[Bruce M.]

For the British people out there;

* Well it's look o.k but why have you got the American version installed? Why not install the British localisation?
* What do you mean there isn't one? 28 years of developing Windows and they still can't produce a British version where colour/localisation/centre are spelt right?

Psst, install the Canadian English version, it uses British Spelling. :)

[Bruce M.]

Bruce, on phone, "Hi Tom, finally got Windows installed, and I wan..."
Tom, "What! I'ts been two days!"
Bruce, "Yea, well, you know, install, reboot, install a bit more, reboot, insert Motherboard CD, install some, reboot, install second half re..."
Tom, "Yea, yea, I know all that but why two days?"
Bruce, "Well, I got a virus while downloading Norton's Internet package, and had to start all over aga..."
Tom, "You don't have Norton's on a CD?"
Bruce, "No, that's why I'm calling, do you have one?"
Tom, "No, mine is really old and won't work with this version of Windows, I downloaded the newest version. You'll have to go and buy one, it's only $182.89 and you ca..."
Bruce, "ONLY 183 bucks!!! Forget it Tom, I'm going back to Ubuntu, I'll send you an e-amil in 90 minutes to let you know I'm online again."

Sipping a coffee while installing Ubuntu and thinking. Tom must be crazy to use that OS.

EDIT: Ok, not questions, but very close to what happened, except for that last two interactions between Tom and I (not his real name). :)

[Jay Jay]

Why do you have to reformat and reinstall every six months as a form of maintenance when the computer starts slowing down? Surely there's an easier way.

[init1]

Hahaha I do this all the time. So annoying! :)
Yeah, I've got and alias in FreeDOS for ls, rm, mv, and halt :D

[molom]

What's a cd-key?

[Tom Mann]

* Why does my web browser keep popping up gambling and adult adverts even when it's not open?

* Why does scrss.exe want to shut my computer down? It's only been installed 30 seconds?

(Couldn't be helped)

[phrostbyte]

What's a cd-key?

I can really see that one. Good job. :)

[Black Mage]

I'm not a complete true Linux user because I use Mac a lot, but FreeBSD is close enough.

Anyway true story. My friend has a Windows computer and she had a problem and asked me to look at it. I went over there turns out she had a virus/worm. Me being a Mac user, have NEVER experienced a virus or worm before and really I had no clue what to do. Luckily I knew about the Ubuntu Forums.:)

So a true Linux user would ask: Its say I have a virus....what do I do next?

[tekguy]

Why can't Windows be more like linux?

[molom]

I can really see that one. Good job. :)

Thanks :)

Shalom!!! :D

[cubekid]

(xp) How do you add a cpu monitor to the panel? And on that note, how do i get conky to work?

Why doesn't 'sudo aptitude update && sudo aptitude safe-upgrade' or 'emerge sync && emerge -uDN1 world' or <insert system update command> work?

(xp) Why does double-clicking the the window for command prompt only expand it to half the screen?

How do i make it so that right-click shows me a menu with my applications?

Is Windows Update like Synaptic? :)

[FuturePilot]

How do I shade my windows?

(I love that feature :) )

[Johannes100]

How on earth can I run .exe files when I don't even have Wine?

For that matter, aptitude doesn't get me the Wine packages. I mean, how on earth do you get software? Why does Windows keep on asking me what I want to use to open readme files?

[LaRoza]

(xp) Why does double-clicking the the window for command prompt only expand it to half the screen?


Alt + Enter will make it full screen (it looks like Ctrl + Alt + F1 on Linux)



How on earth can I run .exe files when I don't even have Wine?


The question is, how do you NOT run an .exe. I mean, the system will run anything with a .exe extension no matter what it is. Mark as executable? Everything!

[macogw]

I once asked in ##windows "How do I kill X?" they were all confused "you know, get to a command-line-only system" "why would you want to do that? GUIs are better than command lines" "no way! command line is nice and fast. GUIs suck" "well Windows is the best because it uses all easy GUI stuff" "well GUIs are slow, so Windows sucks. this computer's old, so I don't want to keep running all the extra junk for a useless GUI. how do i make it command line only?" ...the answer turned out to be "install Debian" :D

Why do I have to click on the windows to focus them?

How do I make that window stay on top of the one I'm working on?

[LaRoza]

I once asked in ##windows "How do I kill X?" they were all confused "you know, get to a command-line-only system" "why would you want to do that? GUIs are better than command lines" "no way! command line is nice and fast. GUIs suck" "well Windows is the best because it uses all easy GUI stuff" "well GUIs are slow, so Windows sucks. this computer's old, so I don't want to keep running all the extra junk for a useless GUI. how do i make it command line only?" ...the answer turned out to be "install Debian" :D

Windows 1-3x, 95,98 are all DOS based, and win.exe is the GUI. You could just not started the GUI on start up.

On Windows ME (DOS based), NT, 2000, XP and Vista, you are stuck.

[macogw]

I'm not a complete true Linux user because I use Mac a lot, but FreeBSD is close enough.

Anyway true story. My friend has a Windows computer and she had a problem and asked me to look at it. I went over there turns out she had a virus/worm. Me being a Mac user, have NEVER experienced a virus or worm before and really I had no clue what to do. Luckily I knew about the Ubuntu Forums.:)

So a true Linux user would ask: Its say I have a virus....what do I do next?

My bf grew up on Solaris, then Linux, and now uses a Mac. His brother came back from China with a virus-laden Windows laptop. Now, bf is a huge geek and knows UNIX systems inside and out, but he called me to find out how to clean the Windows out.

[macogw]

Windows 1-3x, 95,98 are all DOS based, and win.exe is the GUI. You could just not started the GUI on start up.

On Windows ME (DOS based), NT, 2000, XP and Vista, you are stuck.

It was XP

[LaRoza]

It was XP

Just use the alternative disk of course. No reason to use a 32 bit GUI just to install.

[Infinite Recursion]

"How can I get 'Add/Remove Programs' to ADD programs? Where's it's man page?"

(After beginning an installation/update) "This could take a while--wanna go grab some coffee, do some grocery shopping, and read a book or two?"

[k2t0f12d]

Where's My "any Key" ?

http://www.ravib.com/images/funny/anykey.jpg

[drascus]

* Why does this firewall thingy keep asking for permission for things?

*how come my computer is running so slow after a few months?

*Where is the terminal?

*How come I couldn't burn this song to more then 5 CD mixes?

*How do I change the theme of the bottom panel? How do I change the theme of the window decorations?

*How the heck do you compile from source on this thing?

*Why the heck would anyone want to use this?

[rudihawk]

How can i get my conky working?

How can I compile the latest version of pidgin?

Why did I have to sit with 5 driver CD's after I installed this, It wanted me to install printer, graphics, motherboard drivers!?!!? whats going on?

How do i middle button paste?

How can there be NO sudo apt-get?!?!

How can i make it put a link to my flashdisk on the desktop when i plug it in?

Cool! I can change the colours! (Blue, green, silver), now how do I make it brown, how can I install this new Icon theme i downloaded?

You mean my computer has to be switched off BEFORE this software/drivers will work?!

[miggols99]

Why does my computer crash when I hold down Windows-E? (Hehe don't try this ;))
What's a defragmenter?
Why does Print Screen not do anything?

[Barrucadu]

Where are my gettys?!

[HermanAB]

Why is *everything* so difficult with Windows?

[popch]

Why has the terminal window a blue background, and where's the prompt?

[Tomatz]

I think its having trouble unmounting my drive. It takes forever shutting down :)

[BatsotO]

What?? This Cost That Much??

[jacob01]

isnt windows supposed to be easy and well supported?

A bud of mine spent like 5 hours trying to install the .net framework 3.0 because he kept getting errors even after he just recently restored xp, and people think linux is hard is and frustrating to use!

[Gorgoth]

Bruce, "ONLY 183 bucks!!! Forget it Tom, I'm going back to Ubuntu, I'll send you an e-amil in 90 minutes to let you know I'm online again."

90 minutes? Slow much? :D Nah, just kidding... Because really, even if 90 minutes is true, that'd put it at what? 3 or 4 days for windows? And just think... doing it from a LiveCD, you can still browse for por-- err... portraits... while the OS installs.

Oh... and my contribution to this thread:

"I just installed Vista because someone said it had some great eye-candy... how come I'm not seeing anything? I have the required hardware (800mhz etc etc) and STILL NO GLASS?! What do I have to do to get it like Compiz?! I don't have a lot of money left, as Vista cost me nearly 500 dollars because the store representative told me that Ultimate was what I needed if I wanted the eye-candy to work good..."

>.>

[jacob01]

bought[/I] Windows if it did not come with your machine?
Wine project? :)

i got ubuntu on my desktop from dell but some how i still think that microsoft made money off me :(

[Tomatz]

I need a license??? Where do i get that from???

[Gorgoth]

I need a license??? Where do i get that from???

I bought this license and now it tells me I need to call Micorsoft?? I only reinstalled 5 times?!

[HermanAB]

OK, so I installed 3 more ethernet cards in this WinXP machine. Now how can I do NAT for my LAN and run a load balancing router over my DSL and Cable modem for my VPN to the Los Angeles Office?

[cardinals_fan]

* What does svchost.exe do, and why are there six instances of it using 60% of my CPU?

* Why doesn't 'netpkg upgrade' work?

* Where are the man pages?

* Why do my "Easy FREE Screensavers" kill the OS?

[Tomatz]

I bought this license and now it tells me I need to call Micorsoft?? I only reinstalled 5 times?!

:lolflag:

[sajro]

I'm pretty nerdy but I know a HELL of a lot more about linux then I do windows. And everyone(MEaning the people who ask me for help in windows) except me to know everything!

I have a similar issue. I know so much about Linux, BSD (and, in turn, OS X), but they think since I don't get Windows, I'm not technologically competent. It's frustrating but hilarious.

"How do you erase history in IE?"
"WHOA when did IE get tabs?"
"It's a Microsoft innovation."
"No it isn't; Netscaoe had them since the 90s. then Mozilla and Opera."
"You lie, Linux nerd. YOU LIE!"

[Tomatz]

System restore??? Why restore my install to just before it borked in the first place???

Its a quantum loop i tell you :confused: