How Many to Screw in a Lightbulb ?

[RAV TUX]

Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?



A: Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

[lisati]

Q How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A One, but only if it wants to change

Q How many psychiatrists does it take?
A None: he delegates it to Nurse Ratched

[steven8]

Q: How many Microsoft programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. They just redefine the standard to "Dark".

[steven8]

Q: How many Management Information System guys does it take to change a light
bulb?

A: MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem, and has
assigned your request Service Number 39712. Please use this number for
any future reference to this light bulb issue. As soon as the next
technician becomes availible, you will be contacted.

[RAV TUX]

How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw in the bulb, and one to say, "I fail to see the humor in this."

[lisati]

Q: How many Management Information System guys does it take to change a light
bulb?

A: MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem, and has
assigned your request Service Number 39712. Please use this number for
any future reference to this light bulb issue. As soon as the next
technician becomes availible, you will be contacted.

A2. Your call is important to us. Please hold, and a service representative will speak to you shortly. (Delay of 20 minutes) Your call is important to us. Please wait, and a service representative will speak to you shortly. (Further delay of 20 minutes) Your call is important to us. Please hold, and a service representative will speak to you shortly.

[Fenryr]

How many civil engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?



Approximately 2,003...ONe to hold the bulb, two to steady the ladder, and 2,000 to rotate the BUILDING...

Note: this does NOT include union reps, ombudsmen, mafia bagmen, and city inspectors to sign OFF on the job...*g*

[steven8]

A2. Your call is important to us. Please hold, and a service representative will speak to you shortly. (Delay of 20 minutes) Your call is important to us. Please wait, and a service representative will speak to you shortly. (Further delay of 20 minutes) Your call is important to us. Please hold, and a service representative will speak to you shortly.

etc. . . :)

[RAV TUX]

How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. There never *was* any light bulb.

[RAV TUX]

How many quantum mechanicians does it take to change a light bulb?
They can't. If they know where the socket is, they cannot locate the new bulb.

[steven8]

Q: How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Eight: one to work the bulb and seven to make sure Microsoft gets $2 for
every bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb
object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so
all you'd have to do is send it a light bulb change message.

[RAV TUX]

How many pot growers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None - They use flourescent tubes!

[steven8]

Q: How many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, but he'll swear up and down that it was JUST as easy for him as it
would be for a Macintosh user.

[RAV TUX]

How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.


How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb, and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.

[RAV TUX]

How many software testers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "We just recognized darkness, fixing it is someone else's problem."

[Fenryr]

Only when you realize the TRUTH can you change your perceptions...

There is no bulb...

(there is no spoon)

[RAV TUX]

How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
Both of them.

[RAV TUX]

How many sado-masochists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold it and one to kick the chair out from under him.

[steven8]

How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
Both of them.

There's 2??

[RAV TUX]

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

[RAV TUX]

There's 2??LOL;)

[RAV TUX]

How many Palm Beach voters does it take to change a light bulb?
Generally 1, but some put the bulb in the wrong hole.

[slimdog360]

Q. how many non-crips does it take to change a light bulb?

A. just one

hahha, I saw that on southpark the other night.

[RAV TUX]

How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. Two to hold the ladder and one to screw the bulb into the faucet.:lol:

[steven8]

Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A1: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.

A2: None. If it really needed changing, market forces would have caused it
to happen.

A3: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw
itself in.

[RAV TUX]

How many MS tech supports does it take to change a light bulb?
"The light bulb doesn't work? You must be using a non-standard socket.":lol:

[RAV TUX]

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard.:lol:

[steven8]

Q: How many circus performers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Four. One to change the bulb and three to go, "Ta da!"

[steven8]

Q: How many public opinion researchers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: With what degree of certainty do you need to know?

[RAV TUX]

How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight: one to work the bulb and seven to make sure Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

[Taino]

How many hardcore vista users does it take to screw in a light bulb?

(4)

2 - to hold the ladder..
1 - to climb with the bulb and screw..
1 - to cancel or allow the procedure..

:KS http://youtube.com/watch?v=UACsCvgkdbU

[jacksaff]

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but don't ask me how the randy little buggers get in there.

[steven8]

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but don't ask me how the randy little buggers get in there.


:popcorn:

[girishv]

How many astronomers/biologists to screw in a bulb?

11 -

One to screw in the bulb
ten to co-author it

[Tundro Walker]

How many software testers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "We just recognized darkness, fixing it is someone else's problem."

Holy ****, you must work where I work!

[init1]

How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight: one to work the bulb and seven to make sure Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.
Someone already said this...

[init1]

How many Linux beginners does it take to screw in a light bulb?
About 21
10 to try and fail, 1 to try and succeed, and 10 to complain that screwing in a light bulb was much easier in Windows.