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LaRoza
May 15th, 2007, 06:53 PM
This article outlines the latest attempt by MS to monopolize PCs...
http://www.computerjokes.net/118.htm

Eric Layne
May 15th, 2007, 06:57 PM
Hehe, funny!

hardyn
May 15th, 2007, 07:03 PM
:)

saulgoode
May 15th, 2007, 07:26 PM
Meh, it'll probably have a bug which causes your system to start working.

hobieone
May 15th, 2007, 07:49 PM
i know this is an amusing joke. butt...

i can seriously see microsoft doing somthing like this:( . and then markwetingit as part of thier wow! factor

Tundro Walker
May 16th, 2007, 08:17 AM
I, The Amazing Psychic Sally, predict Microsoft will do the following in the future...BEHOLD!...

1) They'll give up patching security holes on their OS. They'll sue companies like Norton and Symantec for profitting off their OS, even if it was to try to circumvent issues with it, so that their own Anti-Virus software won't have any competitors, creating a large, secondary income for Microsoft off of the Windows OS. Buy their OS, pay cash...find out the OS is prone to viruses...pay more cash for an anti-virus from them.

2) They already charge for tech support help if you're having issues with their buggy OS. However, in the future, they will charge online payments to download their patches and service packs. This will be done on either a subscription basis, letting you pay each month to have access to fixes for the OS, or on a license basis, making you pay for each time you d/l or install a service pack fix to an OS installation.

3) They'll find sudden inspiration out of no where to to do some kind of extended 3d desktop...I'm picturing...wait...it's hazy...hold on, it's coming to me...I foresee....it in the shape of a....cube. Yes, a cube. It'll be a 3d rotatable cube. Unfortunately, Windows only has one desktop, so all you'll be able to do is post pictures of your fav pets, anime heroes or naked folks on the other 3 sides of the cube. There will be plans to add more sides to the cube, it's just that that part didn't get past the 6 months of budgeting, meetings, marketing, sucking up to the boss, and everything else that went into this new, "novel" feature they'll try to patent when it's all said and done.

4) Trusted Computing will turn into a profit gold-mine for Microsoft. Not only will their OS dictate what you can and can't do on your own computer, but it will force you to pay to use their OS per hour (until they can get the whole micro-payments thing worked out, then it'll be per minute or per second). Since previous versions of their OS has secretly collected and funnelled enough information about you to their Corporate Headquarters, if you refuse to pay the fee to use their OS per hour, it will auto-withdraw the money from your bank-account. If that's tapped out, it'll auto-draft from your credit card. If that's maxed out, it'll fill out and get a loan in your name, but only usable by it, and draft off that. Fear not, Citizen, your security and safety are in our control!

5) Having added as many bells and whistles are humanly possible to their MS Office Suite, they'll ship out another 5 versions over the next 10 years, each only having changes to the paint-job and user interface to make it seem new and fresh, but still just being the same old stuff, only harder to find and the whole new user-interface making you learn where it is again. Since most folks think a new paint job makes a car that much better, they'll be fooled into shelling out more money for each version that comes out. NOTE: the bugs that exist in it will still exist. No sense in fixing that when they can placate user annoyance with helpful pop-up messages like "The program has crashed. If you were working on something, your changes have been lost. Sorry."

6) A new Monopoly claim will be thrown against MS, this time a majority of the world governments deciding to back the claim. Microsoft will fight the claim in courts, and when it's finally decided MS is a monopoly, MS will pull out their trump card, telling all governments that if they don't want the secret "kill switch" that's installed in all MS Windows versions since NT and beyond to go off, there-by crippling governments, industries, etc across the world, they'll simply drop the whole monopoly thing. Microsoft will realize that this tactic works, and adds "hold the world hostage" as part of their yearly income agenda...for one...Hundred...BILLION dollars! MUWAHAHAHahahaha....eh...oh.

7) Microsoft will make world history by being the first corporation to have its own private military force. This will start as a "security force" which helps their "humanitarian" missions to distribute low-income software to war-torn or hostile, third-world countries. Due to several "incidents" involving missing convoys and personel, governments allow Microsoft to hire more security personel, better arm them, and allow them then authority to respond to force with deadly measure. Microsoft will use the "letter of the law" to bolster their personal security force into an army with enough force to seize any small third-world nation they wish. Microsoft will later go on to "help out" in a global conflict involving a third-world country, and end up being a permanent-occupying "peace force" in that country, basically seizing control and owning it without anyone actually saying such. Following suite, other corporations will start their own personal armies, and eventually it'll lead to World War III, which, to some dismay isn't a country or government-based war, but a world-wide corporate war.

8) Microsoft will resurrect the "company store" idea, and start offering housing and other such typically expensive amenities for its employees at reduced prices. In exchange, employees will end up on contracts that are hard to terminate, or are forced to funnel money they make back into the Microsoft economy by only being allowed to shop at Microsoft stores (grocery, auto-repair, etc). Microsoft can't legally create its own currency, so it'll start "paying" its employees in a "points" system, letting them exchange points for amenities. Much like a carnival, if you start converting points into actual monetary values, you realize the employees aren't getting paid what they should get, and are over-paying for things.

So it is written...so it shall be done...

steven8
May 16th, 2007, 08:20 AM
I'm gonna use the Mauve Screen Of Death. :)

LaRoza
May 16th, 2007, 02:13 PM
I was thinking a black background with black text, it would at least be useful (save energy on my monitor)