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Peter1234123
April 8th, 2007, 12:00 AM
/**
* (c) 2007 Misrocoft Corp.
* All rights reserved
*/

#include


class WindowsVista extends WindowsXP implements Nothing
{
boolean beta = true;

WindowsVista()
{
checkIfHardwareIsCompatible();
/** Ok. The idiot seems to have some high end hardware.
* Lets make his life miserable
*/

runInternetExplorer7();
}


void checkIfHardwareIsCompatible()
{
/*
* Lets make sure that half the world cannot run this OS while
* we fix all the bugs
*/
if((installedRam < 2GB) && (processorSpeed < 4GHz))
{
MessageBox("Your System does not seem to be capable of running zero err.. aero glass and the like. Please upgrade the hardware and try again.");
WaitTillPoorGuyReadsTheMessage();
bsod();
}
}


void runInternetExplorer7()
{
IE7 ie7 = new IE7();

ie7.featureSet = firefox_features
+ safari_features
+ opera_features + lot_of_bugs;

ie7.run();
WaitWhileThePoorGuyLooksAtTheNewInterface();
bsod();

}

/**
* return true when product is stable.
*/
boolean isReadyForRelease()
{
int lastReportedNumberOfBugs = 3457888E+08
int totalNoOfNewFeatures = 600;
boolean readyForRelease = false;


sendFeatureSetToMarketingGuys();

while (marketingGuysAreAtIt)
{
Thread fixBugsWhileInBeta = new fixBugsWhileInBeta();

fixBugsWhileInBeta.assignProgrammer(oneBug);
fixBugsWhileInBeta.start();

if(programmersAreNotSufficient)
{
hireFromXBOXDivision();
}

if(aMonthHasPassed)
{
announce("Windows Vista Consumer Version Will be delayed by one more month");
dropAFewFeatures();
totalNoOfNewFeatures = totalNoOfNewFeatures - 10;
}

/** Boss strictly told me that we should have no more than * 7000 bugs
* when we ship the item
*/
if(lastReportedNumberOfBugs-- == 7000)
return true;

}

}

int main(void)
{
WindowsVista vista = new WindowsVista();
vista.runWindowsXP();
return plentyOfMoneyforBilly;
}

}

LookTJ
April 8th, 2007, 12:13 AM
nice java skills ;)

this is a joke.

TravisNewman
April 8th, 2007, 12:19 AM
it's not THAT bad. I installed it to test (legally, mind you) on a 1.5 ghz Athlon with 512 ram and it really isn't slow and it only crashed when I installed crap I shouldn't have (had the same problems with XP when it first came out). Unfortunately I still don't care for it enough to keep it.

cantormath
April 8th, 2007, 12:25 AM
Vista is crap

Peter1234123
April 8th, 2007, 12:28 AM
The thing that I like about Windows in general is the ablility to have a still picture as a screen saver (dunno if it's possible on Ubuntu) and that it crashes a lot (at work) I put a screen saver of the "blue screen of death" (Windows 98 err. message) and tell my boss "I dunno what's wrong man, you tell me" and he, being an dumbass at computers, just walks away, and tells me to go on break.

samjh
April 8th, 2007, 01:41 AM
LOL, nice one. :lolflag:

But you ruined the joke by using Java-esque code that's even completely Java!

Should have used C# code (or is that what you actually used?) instead.

In all honesty, Vista isn't that bad. In fact, the Windows project as a whole, pretty much made the PC industry. So there ain't much to complain about.

%hMa@?b<C
April 8th, 2007, 01:45 AM
LOL, nice one. :lolflag:

But you ruined the joke by using Java-esque code that's even completely Java!

Should have used C# code (or is that what you actually used?) instead.

In all honesty, Vista isn't that bad. In fact, the Windows project as a whole, pretty much made the PC industry. So there ain't much to complain about.

I agree, but they should have stopped at 98se.

MrHorus
April 8th, 2007, 10:11 AM
In all honesty, Vista isn't that bad.

Sorry but i'm going to have to interject here.

I had a decent play with Vista at my LUG on thursday for the first time and whilst it's unbelieveabley pretty, it's nothing new - just XP with bells on.

Even on a dual 1.6 GHz system menus and popups still had a noticeable lag before appearing and it's like, why bother?

mech7
April 8th, 2007, 10:33 AM
I agree, but they should have stopped at 98se.

You van stay at 98 if you like..

http://www.istartedsomething.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/dontneedwindows.gif

eilu
April 8th, 2007, 12:26 PM
:lolflag: you're probably not too far off the mark.

Dual Cortex
April 8th, 2007, 01:14 PM
You van stay at 98 if you like..

http://www.istartedsomething.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/dontneedwindows.gif

heheh, nice one!

EdThaSlayer
April 8th, 2007, 02:13 PM
Pretty nice programming joke. :)