View Full Version : Microsoft to make Vista Open Source

April 1st, 2007, 03:59 PM
Rumours that an announcement is due by Microsoft shortly in which they will announce that their latest OS Vista is to be released as open source under the GPL 4 licensing scheme.

Microsoft’s executives have looked deep into their persona’s recently and realized that Linux is by far the best way to show the world how software can reach the very heart of humanity. This morning a balding spokesman for them said,

“We realised that to make people feel good we had to make them glow inside when using our software but have found they have been left with a cold blue feeling. We now believe that with our forthcoming statement a warm brown glow is about to spread across the globe and we will all be covered in it.”

Illegal users on Windows will find the next WGA update will contain a message to inform users that they are no longer pirates and can use their illegally gained OS free of charge. Also, users will be informed that they will be able to download other Windows based software in the coming months such as games, MS Office, enterprise products such as Exchange Server, Novell Netware and SuSE.

This has come as quite a shock to a few people in the industry, IT analyst Victor Meldrew was quoted as saying “I don’t believe it!”


April 1st, 2007, 04:05 PM
hehe that could only happen on april 1st :mrgreen:.

i like this bit:

IT analyst Victor Meldrew (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Meldrew)

April 1st, 2007, 04:06 PM
IT analyst Victor Meldrew was quoted as saying “I don’t believe it!”

Awesome :D

April 1st, 2007, 04:07 PM
Sweet, unfortunately, Linus is now sewing anyone who uses his kernel without paying for it.

April 1st, 2007, 04:08 PM
I have only one question:
Where is the powerpuff skin for the forums?

It was more fun last year lol

April 1st, 2007, 04:28 PM
Ballmer joins Linux Foundation board

In what many long-time observers of free and open source software consider a natural progression, Microsoft chief executive Steve Ballmer is to join the board of the Linux Foundation.

A statement issued by Carl F. Rowe III, a spokesman for the Foundation, said it was pleased to report that Ballmer had accepted an invitation to join the board. "Considering that none of our members have anything to do with the community anymore, we thought we should have people like him, forward-looking souls who oversee the development of mediocre software and massive marketshare, on our board," Rowe told a media conference held in Washington DC this morning.

The Foundation was formed recently by a merger between the Open Source Development Labs and the Free Standards Group.

Rowe said: "To all naysayers, greenies and tree-huggers, I say, everything goes through three phases: first you do it for fun, then you do it for a few friends, and finally you end up doing it for money. Linux has now reached the final stage and we need people like Ballmer on board."

Ballmer was ecstatic about his appointment. "For a long time, Microsoft has supported the free and open source movement. I mean, come on, if we hadn't been putting out such crap in the marketplace, how do you think you Linux guys would have got a toehold?" he asked at a media conference held in Tegucigalpa, capital of the Honduras, this morning.

"Look at the symbolism; the Linux boys are holding their press conference in Washington DC, the capital of the world's number one capitalist state. And we, the biggest corporation in the world, are down here in the capital of a developing country," he said. "Come on, the times have changed."

Ballmer said one of the first things that Microsoft would do in response to what he called "this gesture of surrender" was to put out a Linux distribution called Winguin.

"We will grow robust e-markets and incentivise collaborative paradigms in order to synergise next-generation users," Ballmer said. "Targeting robust mindshare is our main objective."

Doubts expressed by Linux creator Linus Torvalds and senior kernel developer Alan Cox, who both said it would not look good to have Ballmer on the board, were brushed aside by Rowe. "Look, we need the right kind of economic drivers in place to ensure that we have a 21st century operating system, not some piece of crap that needs rebooting all the time, even when you reconfigure a network interface," he said.

When a correspondent from the Daily Wag, Tegucigalpa's premier tabliid, asked whether this was code for "we pay Torvalds, and hence we will call the tune," Rowe simply smiled. "Linux is all about code, beautiful code, so you can figure it out, boy," he said.

The next appointee to the board is expected to be Miguel de Icaza, the co-founder of the GNOME desktop enviroment and founder of the Mono project, a recreation of Microsoft's .NET development environment for Linux. "I am a supporter of the environment. Anything that has the word in it, will have my backing," de Icaza told a friendly journalist, in keeping with his policy of never speaking to the media unless he is guaranteed favourable coverage.

(Efforts to yank a statement out of him for the other media, using methods sanctioned by the former US defence secretary Donald Rumsfeld, were unsuccessful).

Later, de Icaza, informed his friendly journalist he had something more to say. "I will be repurposing collaborative infrastructures so that we at Mono can exploit web-enabled eyeballs. All my life I have been enhancing value-added niches and I will continue to do so, provided Microsoft is involved," he said.

Asked if something had been lost in translation from Spanish, de Icaza refused to answer.

Ballmer referred to the statement made by former OSDL head Stuart Cohen describing the group as the "centre of gravity of Linux."

"I can't help but feel that this is my rightful niche. We are the people who do the most to upset the centre of gravity of Linux by our outrageous statements which are propagated by every consultant east of the Suez Canal. Hell, we should have been here long ago," he said.

Free Software Foundation chief Richard Stallman said the move to include Ballmer on the board was "just another cunning stunt.""They tried to gain exposure and marketshare for Linux by using Paris Hilton (http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2005/03/31/1111862521987.html) and failed so how would Ballmer succeed?" he asked.


April 1st, 2007, 05:28 PM
So, what's this all about? :-?

April 1st, 2007, 05:51 PM
:lolflag: I just love this day ;)

April 1st, 2007, 05:55 PM
So, what's this all about? :-?
April fools' day (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_Fools'_Day) :popcorn:
There was an article in the paper today that the government (UK) will start charging green tax on BBQs :lolflag:

April 3rd, 2007, 12:09 PM
Sweet, unfortunately, Linus is now sewing anyone who uses his kernel without paying for it.

Does that mean we're all going to be stitiched up? :lolflag: