how to tell someone they can't drive

[Rule]

Hey ^_^

I have this lil problem with a friend of mine who can't drive...well she can kinda drive. The problem is she has a hard time concentration on what she is doing and her mind will wonder off somewhere and when that happens it's a pain to get her to concentrate again, her reaction when she gets startled is her jumping around and moving her arms like she cant feel them, I also notice in her that she has very little common sense.

so yesterday while driving with her boyfriend in the snow, he told her not to hit the breaks very hard (and she hits them HARD) in the middle of a turn so they wont spin out. So while she was driving they started to enter a turn and she noticed that another truck was behind her. Then things took a turn for the worse, they were approacing a stop sign and her boyfriend told her to stop, at this point she was very confused because a moment ago she was told NOT to push the breaks so she let off the gas and the truck was still going at a good speed and then panic set in and she completly took down a stop sign.

she didn't push the breaks when approacing the sign because she was too scared that the truck behind her would hit them.


before she has had problems driving, she almost got side swiped while comming out of a McDonalds drive thru, and I have watched her from another car and well...she was everywhere and when shes not doing that she takes up two lanes and cant understand why her instructor told her to move into her lane and keep the car in the center.

even after all of this she still thinks she is a good driver and getting better, but watching her I honestly think that she should not be on the road at all or atltest she gets her mind right. I would like to tell her this but she won't listen to me or the advice I give her. All her friends have been saying she is a wicked driver and gets better all the time, but when she is not around they just complain about it and say nothing and it has been like this for the past 2 almost 3 years and I feel its time to tell her how bad she has been doing.

and they live in the Northwest Territories in Canada


now I would like to tell her in a way that wont get her really mad at me. also sorry for the long post ^_^

TIA

Michael

[Luggy]

You shouldn't have to tell her. Living up there with those kinds of roads, natural selection will soon take it's course.

[azkehmm]

Well... if she's a really good friend you can just tell her, "Baby... you drive like a drunk hobo on speed. Why don't you let me take the wheel" and everything should be fine. Otherwise, you might just suggest time after time that you drive today, then she might get the point sometime.

[mips]

1. Don't get in the car with her again.
2. Suggest she should go for an advanced/defensive driving course.

You guys get your drivers licenses way to easily over there (same goes for your southern neighbours). The result is you have people on the road that cannot really drive and become a menace to others.

[kevinf311]

...same goes for your southern neighbours...

Amen to that! Driving here in Atlanta has convinced me that only about 1% of the driving population has the mental acuity to get behind the wheel of a vehicle. You would not believe the numbskull maneuvers that I see during daily driving. Merging is a whole other rant, and don't get me started on inclement weather.

:evil: Boils my blood.

As for the OP, I would suggest pointing out poor driving habits that other drivers share with your friend while she is in the car with you. For example:

[Car in front of you is straddling the lane divider]
You: "Man, I really hate it when people drive like that! Pick a lane buddy!!"
Her: "Yeah..." [She becomes pensive as she recounts times when she may have done the same]

Do this enough and she might get the hint. Until that day be sure to wear your seatbelt!

[weatherman]

You guys get your drivers licenses way to easily over there (same goes for your southern neighbours). The result is you have people on the road that cannot really drive and become a menace to others.
hehe indeed, I spend some time in an american school and took the driver education class. In the quiz test the instructor wrote the correct answers next to the questions, so we just had to copy them into the right box. Also the practical lessons were more or less a joke. Maybe it was just an isolate case, but seeing the number of wrecked cars on american streets I don't think so. :)

[hizaguchi]

The problem is that people always think they are good drivers, even if you tell them otherwise. I have a relative who has been known to get over into the oncoming traffic lane, thinking it was the turning lane, and wait there for traffic to clear so she can take a left... complaining about all the "idiots" blowing their horns at her. She's had at least 10 accidents that I can think of off the top of my head, including running over a drive thru menu, driving all the way through the garage and into the back yard, and driving into the ditch on a completely straight road. But she still thinks she is an OK driver.

So what I'm saying is, good luck with that. :)

[shareMenaPeace]

Stop driving cars use bicycles (everybody).

My 2 Cents

[Titus A Duxass]

I know how you feel, time for straight (polite, friendly) talking.
I have a friend that cannot drive, but it does not stop her.

[Teg_Navanis]

"Everybody complains of their memory, but nobody of their judgement."

For some people it might be the same with driving.

[mips]

Stop driving cars use bicycles (everybody).

My 2 Cents

Even worse, these egits with their two ton cars will flatten you. Happened here two weeks ago, truck knocked a cyclist over and dragged her along. She died at the scene.

[Yossarian]

Driving is absolutely awful in Canada.

I got passed in my own lane while driving my motorcycle by a bunch of dweebs in a golf. I had to swerve into the oncoming lane and they must have been a inch from leg as they flew by. Closest I've ever come to getting my ticket punched, although getting cut off and tailgated is also very common when I drive my two-wheeer.

Public transit/walking/bicycling FTW. I have to drive to work for my COOP job this winter, but in the fall when I had a full course load I only had to drive every 2 weeks, to go the beer and liquor stores. I took the bus to class/friends places, and could walk to the bank/library/grocery store/etc.

[mar225]

LOL what a zoo. Step back and reread the replies. Everyone is an idiot except me. Be careful when you throw rocks, you may be looking in a mirror. lol Geeessh

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by mar225
LOL what a zoo. Step back and reread the replies. Everyone is an idiot except me. Be careful when you throw rocks, you may be looking in a mirror. lol Geeessh

Who in this thread has claimed to be a good driver? It's a truism that people overestimate their driving ability, and is not useful in the serious business of avoiding a wreck.

[hardyn]

i know that there are alot of bad drivers... but i have a question, does this inability to concentrate on the road manifest for her in the rest of her life? can she sit still, read a book, finish homework...

the driving might be a more serious manifistation of something more neurological, ADHD, or similar... she might be a fine driver if she is able to concentrate on it.... maybe should should speak to an MD instead of giving up driving cold turkey.

[insane_alien]

heh, you should see one o the people i hang out with occasionally, he thinks he's an awesome driver yet he ran out of fuel doing a '3'(24 by the time i gave up counting) point turn. before he started he had about a quarter tank.

[drumour]

I am a poor - BUT not dangerous- driver! and I don't mind admitting it. For example my parrelel parking is worse than my spelling! and I only drive when strictly neccessary (live in the back of beyond with no public transport and am disabled) You must make it clear to your friend that you are simply uncomfortable with her current level of competence and until it improves you have to refuse to be a passenger until you truly do feel she is competent enough - you owe it to her, yourself and other road users.

[23meg]

LOL what a zoo. Step back and reread the replies. Everyone is an idiot except me. Be careful when you throw rocks, you may be looking in a mirror. lol Geeessh

Roads are part of the commons. When you're moving on them at the typical speed of 90 km/h in something that weighs at least a ton, you need to know what you're doing very well and keep on top of things at all times. If you don't, there's a very high chance that you won't just hurt yourself, but others as well. In other words, if you're not driving well, you're most likely going against the right of others to exist.

When you lose control of your car because of alcohol, lack of sleep, a psychological disorder, whatever, that car doesn't always fly off a cliff, hit a lightpost or slide to a halt. Very commonly, it hits someone else, in their car or on foot, and kills them. Tens of thousands of people die every year in accidents in which they have no responsibility.


i know that there are alot of bad drivers... but i have a question, does this inability to concentrate on the road manifest for her in the rest of her life? can she sit still, read a book, finish homework...

the driving might be a more serious manifistation of something more neurological, ADHD, or similar...

Looks very likely, according to the part below:



The problem is she has a hard time concentration on what she is doing and her mind will wonder off somewhere and when that happens it's a pain to get her to concentrate again, her reaction when she gets startled is her jumping around and moving her arms like she cant feel them, I also notice in her that she has very little common sense.

People who have problems of this sort, and exhibit the kinds of behavior that previous posters exemplified, simply shouldn't be allowed to drive. To the extent that they are, authorities who allow them to and people around them who don't do something about their situation have responsibility in the damage they cause.

Rule, if I were in your place, I'd take a hard line on her, putting aside all well intentioned considerations of being polite. I guess you've already tried the polite method since you said
she won't listen to me or the advice I give her so it looks like your criticism just drowns in the positive encouragement she's getting from others. There's nothing impolite in suggesting someone to get the help of a psychologist or psychiatrist, and according to how severe you think the problem is, you may want to go so far as to report her to traffic police for her license to be suspended or revoked for reassesment if your local policy allows that.

[kevinf311]

LOL what a zoo. Step back and reread the replies. Everyone is an idiot except me. Be careful when you throw rocks, you may be looking in a mirror. lol Geeessh

Yeah, my post kinda sounded like that... well it's true! :p

Just kidding, everyone does something stupid out there every once in a while. I'm a very aggressive driver but when there is traffic about speeding is the only traffic law I break, in general. I follow laws that I am certain others do not even know exist (I was asked by my passenger why I put on my left blinker in the further most left lane when I was trying to pass someone on the highway but there was someone in that lane traveling slower than I).

In addition to knowing and mostly following traffic laws designed for safety, I know the corners of my car as well as the general traction, braking, and power curves. If I want my car to do something, I usually know how to make it do it. If everyone took the time to learn how their vehicles react under different conditions there would be less accidents.

I may not be a good driver but I will get you from A to B efficiently and without harm.

[hardyn]

I am a poor - BUT not dangerous- driver! and I don't mind admitting it. For example my parrelel parking is worse than my spelling! and I only drive when strictly neccessary (live in the back of beyond with no public transport and am disabled) You must make it clear to your friend that you are simply uncomfortable with her current level of competence and until it improves you have to refuse to be a passenger until you truly do feel she is competent enough - you owe it to her, yourself and other road users.

this is also a problem with driving... i understand over confidence all too well... but there is something to be said about under confidence. it surprises me how many people will accept that they are 'not a good driver', improve. practice parallel parks, practice proper vision techniques, take advanced driving courses. you use linux, and im sure its because it provides you with an intellectual challenge. have you ever said im bad with computers so i use them as little as possible?

(i understand your remark about disabilities, and i respect that i was speaking in a generality, but you can still work on the parallel parks ;) )

[shareMenaPeace]

Even worse, these egits with their two ton cars will flatten you. Happened here two weeks ago, truck knocked a cyclist over and dragged her along. She died at the scene.

Irrelevant because as long their are cars, than we have cars accidents too.
Also i think this discussion if focus on the wrong values (Skill).

Actualy everybody who can drive good will loose this ability with time. You will always have people even if they can drive will make failures, as this is a human nature - some are deadly. But this is not the point.

The point is that single transport is an aboslut inadequat management of ressources.
Though in the prospect of global warming every car driver with conventional cars is acting careless.

The only car i would drive is an electro or hybrid at last.


Cheers

[mips]

I got passed in my own lane while driving my motorcycle by a bunch of dweebs in a golf.

Lol, I once heard two yanks over here claim there rabbit broke down next to the road. I thought 'you sick bastards' until i realised they called a golf a rabbit.

Then there was this old geezer who should really not have been allowed on the road anymore. His family hooked up a tennis ball attached to fishing line in the garage so that when he pulled into the gargage the tennis ball hit the wind screen before he hit the wall.

[muguwmp67]

Then there was this old geezer who should really not have been allowed on the road anymore. His family hooked up a tennis ball attached to fishing line in the garage so that when he pulled into the gargage the tennis ball hit the wind screen before he hit the wall.
Hey! My grandpa did that. It must have been in a helpful hints column in Reader's Digest sometime long ago.

I noticed recently that (most of the time), I drive better than I give myself credit for. I write it off to playing too much Gran Turismo.

I was borrowing a family member's Miata in February while my car was in the shop. After I parked the car, I looked in the rear view mirror and a UPS truck was about to back into the spot that I occupied. I don't know what I did next, but it involved shifting, squealing and turning and resulted in a 180 into the empty spot next to me. The receptionist who saw everything told me it looked like a James Bond movie. I was still trying to get the image of a Miata flattened by a UPS truck out of my mind.

I never want to be in that situation again, but its amazing what can happen with adrenaline. Many people drive better than they think when emergencies come up while driving.

[hardyn]

until i realised they called a golf a rabbit.


golf and rabbit were two different vehicles,and they are again.

[Co.Sinecure]

I think that driver courses should be part of the requirements for getting your license.

While I may not be the best driver in the world, I think that I'm more aware of potential dangers and good driving technique because of driving lessons and courses that I have taken.

In Australia over the last few years, every 2 months or so there is 2-5 accidents within a fortnight involving probationary licensed drivers (2nd-5th years of driving, usually 18-20 years old), and everyone gets up in arms about what to do about the speeding youth. Frankly I think its high-powered vehicles with under-qualified drivers. We now have, zero blood-alcohol, passenger restrictions, mobile phones use banned (including handsfree), 80/90/100 kmph limits, barry manilow playing in carparks :) ...
I think some licensing and training requirements for anything more powerful than my 1987 Corolla should be implemented!

Oh yeah..and red light cameras that are actually turned ON!

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by mips
Lol, I once heard two yanks over here claim there rabbit broke down next to the road. I thought 'you sick bastards' until i realised they called a golf a rabbit.

Then there was this old geezer who should really not have been allowed on the road anymore. His family hooked up a tennis ball attached to fishing line in the garage so that when he pulled into the gargage the tennis ball hit the wind screen before he hit the wall.

Heh, my family members figured out their own system where they just pulverize the garbage cans every time they park.

[mar225]

I Thank God I live in the USA

[punkinside]

Well, I used to be a really reckless driver until I totaled a car in an accident in which my sister could've been seriously hurt. Obviously that changed. Now I consider myself a good, safe driver.

As for law-abiding, its impossible in Venezuela as there are absolutely no traffic laws whatsoever (well, there are in writing but you know what I mean) its dog eat dog out there, stop signs, red lights, nothing means anything here.

As for the girl, I agree that she should get checked out. Maybe you can bring her lack of concentration in another context different than driving and suggest a doctor's appointment?

[Nikron]

I drive horribly... I mean I just simply suck. However, I've luckily avoided an accident for 3 years. As for horrible drivers, they should know for themselves. If they don't, just drive behind her with a camera taped to your dashboard and play it for her. And put the video on YouTube.

[kevinf311]

...And [pu]t the video on YouTube.

I second this suggestion!

[OffHand]

We have a saying here (freely translated):


women behind the wheel is blood on the wall

:lolflag:

[mips]

golf and rabbit were two different vehicles,and they are again.

Thats only in north america where you guys rebadged them. The rest of the planet still called them Golfs. Only you guys call the Mk I & Mk 5 golfs Rabbits, no one else does. So they were never different vechicles, just a rebadged name. Changing an engine is no reason to change a name. If that was the case then all the engine derivitives across the world should have different names. Ok so there are a few other minor differences on the Mk 5 but it's still a golf at the end of the day or isn't it ?

Btw The Mk I is still in production over here and has received some cosmetic upgrades.

[mips]

We have a saying here (freely translated):



:lolflag:

Kinda sexists don't you think. Think women actually have less insurance claims than men but I could be wrong.

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by mips
Kinda sexists don't you think. Think women actually have less insurance claims than men but I could be wrong.

Yeah, its BS. Men cause more accidents.

[prizrak]

If she won't listen to you when you say "You suck get the F off the road" challenge her to a race. Go to a Go Kart track and show her what driving is really about, I got a couple of people to STFU about their "Mad driving skillz" that way.

Also don't use the word "wicked" unless you are talking about the wicked sisters.

[OffHand]

Kinda sexists don't you think.
It is totally sexist but here we also have a thing called 'humor' ;)

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by prizrak
If she won't listen to you when you say "You suck get the F off the road" challenge her to a race. Go to a Go Kart track and show her what driving is really about, I got a couple of people to STFU about their "Mad driving skillz" that way.

Also don't use the word "wicked" unless you are talking about the wicked sisters.
I'd like to see more disputes settled through go-cart races.

[mips]

It is totally sexist but here we also have a thing called 'humor' ;)

True, there is a thing called humour but does it have to be derogatory to a certain sex, race, religion etc.

You probably meant no harm but others might interpret your words differently.

[OffHand]

True, there is a thing called humour but does it have to be derogatory to a certain sex, race, religion etc.

You probably meant no harm but others might interpret your words differently.

If that's the case they should unplug their computer from the internet. My female friends just laugh about it when I say that.

[azkehmm]

I'd like to see more disputes settled through go-cart races.

I prefer drinking contests... possibly followed by a go-cart race :)

[prizrak]

I think some licensing and training requirements for anything more powerful than my 1987 Corolla should be implemented!
Don't underestimate the Sprinter those things are quite formidable in the right hands (and feet). Unless of course it's an AE85 (SR5 for the uninitiated) those just blow.

Thats only in north america where you guys rebadged them. The rest of the planet still called them Golfs. Only you guys call the Mk I & Mk 5 golfs Rabbits, no one else does. So they were never different vechicles, just a rebadged name. Changing an engine is no reason to change a name. If that was the case then all the engine derivitives across the world should have different names. Ok so there are a few other minor differences on the Mk 5 but it's still a golf at the end of the day or isn't it ?The original Rabbit was the Golf Mk I GTI, the Mk V Golf/Rabbit is the normal Golf with the Mk V GTI being a different product. It's all confusing and idiotic but there is a history. Basically Golf GTI Mk I was called the Rabbit for some reason, perhaps because Americans didn't like Golf I dunno. Now they are bringing back the brand cuz people liked it.

I'd like to see more disputes settled through go-cart races.
LOL in that case I would win just about every argument in my group of friends. Actually judging from the average skill level I observed on the track I would be right about 90% of the time about everything :)


I prefer drinking contests... possibly followed by a go-cart race
Who said there was no drinking? ;)

[hellmet]

If you thought her driving was bad, then have a look at this.
This is a clip taken in the city I live in. Life on Indian roads is terrible.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kcpJS8MRhKk

[prizrak]

If you thought her driving was bad, then have a look at this.
This is a clip taken in the city I live in. Life on Indian roads is terrible.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kcpJS8MRhKk

Yeah but there are no rules there

[Rule]

hey everyone, since I have started this thread I managed to convince her that she needs to imporove A LOT, she has also asked her family and friends what they truely think of her driver and they spilled it out, well most of them atleast so thats an improvement.

she will be coming to Vancouver this summer and a few friends and I will teacher her everything from the basics to advanced car control, maybe even taking her to Mission Raceway or to an Auto-X and have some fun if she improves a lot. But for the time being she is going to look for a good driving school in NWT and learn how to better handle driving in the snow.

also thank you for all your comments I really didn't think I would get this many, and I don't want to put her on youtube, but I have thought about it by making a before & now video but i'm not sure if she would let me.

also anyone know if it would be a smart move to just rent a car for her to learn in? because I really don't want her touching my Civic or RX7.

[prizrak]

Renting is a bit costly. Don't let her touch the RX7 a bad driver shouldn't try an FR but the Civic should be fine, just don't practice in traffic ;)

[Rule]

well I don't wanting her touching the civic cause I just droped A LOT of cash into it.

[hardyn]

Off topic:
I studied Nuclear/Radiological Engineering here at Tech and I am very excited about the new plant designs. They didn't just improve one thing here or there, it is like a complete positive overhaul. Have you read about the natural convection cooling dome? The entire process takes place inside one of these domes and they use closed convection instead of the older towers to cool off the steam. It is much less wasteful. Last I read the plants (designs) are getting around the same efficiency as other less friendly power plants.

I say for power production-
Hydroelectric and wind where economically and geographically feasible.
Next gen Nuclear everywhere else
Old reactors should run until they stop being useful
Solar (maybe some wind too) for home use.


more off topic...

I agree with your power production, but i would change a few things...

new nuclear first, we need a baseline power producer, something to replace coal and gas.

hydro isn't total a 'clean' producer - depending on construction the co2 produced from concrete curing can be considerable. while hydro has no emissions per-se you do have to destroy a significant amount of land to construct one. you have to change the ecosystem of an area, introduce stagnant (or reduced velocity water) and can introduce bacteria, insects etc.

Tidal and wind generation all good! -- check out some of Dutch off shore wind farms make really amazing photos

Electric vehicles! - check out 'who killed the electric car' its a michael moore STYLE 'documentary' very very good movie.

prizrak & kevinf311 -- if you don't mind, i will copy your previous energy posts and place them in another thread?

[kevinf311]

You've got my OK, just let me know what the thread is.

I think I've seen the "Who Killed the Electric Car," it sounds familiar. Maybe I read an article on it.

I'll post my reply to your thoughts in the new thread :)

[prizrak]

more off topic...

I agree with your power production, but i would change a few things...

new nuclear first, we need a baseline power producer, something to replace coal and gas.

hydro isn't total a 'clean' producer - depending on construction the co2 produced from concrete curing can be considerable. while hydro has no emissions per-se you do have to destroy a significant amount of land to construct one. you have to change the ecosystem of an area, introduce stagnant (or reduced velocity water) and can introduce bacteria, insects etc.

Tidal and wind generation all good! -- check out some of Dutch off shore wind farms make really amazing photos

Electric vehicles! - check out 'who killed the electric car' its a michael moore STYLE 'documentary' very very good movie.

prizrak & kevinf311 -- if you don't mind, i will copy your previous energy posts and place them in another thread?

Go for it.