Linus Torvalds facts

[Somenoob]

A friend sent me it, thought it was funny so i decided to post it.


1. Linus Torvalds can program without a keyboard

2. Since 1969, the year Linus Torvalds was born, software quality has increased 19.000 percent.

3. The commonest definition of the word programmer is Linus Torvalds

4. Linus Torvalds didin't learn from the University of Helsinki the University of Helsinki learned from Linus Torvalds.

5. Linus Torvalds finished the Linux Kernel the day before he started on it.

6. Linus Torvalds once developed a programming language so good that it makes python look like punch cards.

7. Linus Torvalds doesn't need to boot.

8. Linus Torvalds first written program had artificial intelligence.

9. Linus Torvalds doesn't receive error messages.

10. There is no theory of probability, just a list of events that Linus Torvalds allows to occur.

[KaroSHiv0n]

haha thats quality.

[Muffe]

Is it just me, or is it some connection between those statements and those found here: http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

[steevc]

Looks like a variant on Bruce Schneier facts (http://geekz.co.uk/schneierfacts/), that may be a play on Chuck Norrris facts. Bruce is a top encryption/security expert.

Still fun though.

Here's mine:

Linus Torvalds doesn't use a monitor. He can read the video signals from a VGA cable with his finger.

[mips]

Jack Bauer will kick all their combined a$$es.
http://www.jackbauerfacts.com/
http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirty

[xmastree]

Here's one:

Linus Torvalds has the same birthday as my daughter (see the avatar). :)

[Brunellus]

Linus Torvalds can write to ntfs.

[meng]

2. Since 1969, the year Linus Torvalds was born, software quality has increased 19.000 percent.
Not true. Linus wasn't born, he was developed.

[Brunellus]

Linus Torvalds does not sleep. He hacks.

[Rui Pais]

well according to linus book (http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0066620732/ref=sib_dp_pt/105-4540067-1082027#reader-link) his first program print HELLO endless in the screen and the second
SARA IS THE BEST endless. Using BASIC.

point 8. needs to be changed: artificial goes bold, intelligence goes size 6.

[Brunellus]

well according to linus book (http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0066620732/ref=sib_dp_pt/105-4540067-1082027#reader-link) his first program print HELLO endless in the screen and the second
SARA IS THE BEST endless. Using BASIC.

point 8. needs to be changed: artificial goes bold, intelligence goes size 6.
aw. those were my first ones, too. Except the Sara one.

Also, I remember knowing enough BASIC to make the computer spit out a series of powers of two. I left it running overnight, and my father came down and saw the computer spitting out powers of two. He was so furious he forbad me from ever doing it again.

ehem. Hauling this back on-topic: Linust Torvalds doesn't need STDERR.

[Brunellus]

bump.

Linus Torvalds can install gentoo in under a week.

[Somenoob]

bump.

Linus Torvalds can install gentoo in under a week.

hehe, good one.

[irish_flu]

When Linus Torvalds writes new software, he just makes punch cards with his teeth and feeds them into a reader.

[Somenoob]

Linus Torvalds source codes complie themselfs.

[Brunellus]

Linus Torvalds source codes complie themselfs.
When Linux Torvalds learned to program, the computer printed HELLO, WORLD by itself.

[sherlock-holmes]

Linus scratches his back using an earth mover

[Sunnz]

Linus was considered as being old and stable at 24, but new and bleeding edge at 26!!! :o

[Brunellus]

Linus surfs the web using nothing but netcat

[Erik Trybom]

Linus Torvalds can play 3D games in his head by interpreting the source code in real-time.

[Brunellus]

Linus Torvalds can play 3D games in his head by interpreting the source code in real-time.
Being touched by Linus can cure carpal tunnel syndrome. He does not cure RMS because he thinks it's funny to listen to RMS dictating code for the HURD.

[SunnyRabbiera]

Linus has developed warp drive, sun destorying bombs and a ray that can teliport you a new sausage each day before he drinks his morning coffee

[Ghil]

Linus surfs the web using nothing but netcat

Linus Torvalds doesn't surf the web, he is the web. :P

[Brunellus]

Linus Torvalds doesn't surf the web, he is the web. :P
Linus made the red pill.

[G Morgan]

Linus is Real, unless declared Integer.

[glabouni]

well according to linus book (http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0066620732/ref=sib_dp_pt/105-4540067-1082027#reader-link) his first program print HELLO endless in the screen and the second
SARA IS THE BEST endless. Using BASIC.

my first programming was in logo (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logo_(programming_language)) but my first BASIC program printed a word endlessle on screen too.
not sure the syntax is correct but it should be something like this:

10 PRINT "HELLO"
20 GOTO 10


my second BASIC program was an evolved of the first: it cleared the screen before printing.


5 CLS
10 PRINT "HELLO"
20 GOTO 10


Linus Fact:
Linus was bitten by a penguin in Canberra zoo and infected with a little known disease called penguinitis. (Penguinitis makes you stay awake at nights just thinking about penguins and feeling great love towards them.)

[Sammi]

Linus told god to make the penguin, so he could get penguinitis in the first place.

[Sammi]

On the first day Linus said ".configure"
On the second day he said "make"
On the third day he said "make install"
And on the fourth day there was Linux, and Linus saw that it was kick ***, because it wasn't Windows.

[Sunnz]

On the first day Linus said ".configure"
On the second day he said "make"
On the third day he said "make install"
And on the fourth day there was Linux, and Linus saw that it was kick ***, because it wasn't Windows.
lol, what about:

He doesn't push the flush toilet button. He simply says "make clean".

[DoctorMO]

I was floored by the biting punch cards gag, EXTREAMLY funny well done.

No gags from me, too tired.

[florizs]

Linus Torvalds rmmodded Richard Stallman's razors.

[mips]

Linus Torvalds has nightmares at night about Theo De Raadt.

[G Morgan]

Linus created recursion so that GNU would have something to occupy themselves while they wait for the HURD.

[Somenoob]

Linus Torvalds won the Tanenbaum-Torvalds debate by reprogramming it.

[mvaniersel]

Linus Torvalds can write to ntfs.


:D

[Brunellus]

Linus Torvalds knows where Hans Reiser's wife is.

[darkhatter]

Linus Torvalds knows where Hans Reiser's wife is.

just a little out of taste.....

[%hMa@?b<C]

wtf... sorry, thought i made a new topic

[Somenoob]

what?lol link (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Everything_you_always_wanted_to_know_abo ut_Bad_Jokes_and_Other_Deleted_Nonsense_(But_were_ afraid_to_ask)#Linus_Torvalds_facts)

[insane_alien]

linus can manipulate bits on the harddrive with his mind(at 3200 YB/s too)

[Brunellus]

Linus Torvalds has no dependencies.

[darkhatter]

what?lol link (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Everything_you_always_wanted_to_know_abo ut_Bad_Jokes_and_Other_Deleted_Nonsense_(But_were_ afraid_to_ask)#Linus_Torvalds_facts)



Being touched by Linus can cure carpal tunnel syndrome. He does not cure RMS because he thinks it's funny to listen to RMS dictating code for the HURD.

Linus Torvalds can write to ntfs.

Linus Torvalds takes one look at your desktop and knows which porn sites you visited. In the last ten years.


I laughed so hard I started crying

[Brunellus]

Linus Torvalds sleeps with nunchucks.

http://xkcd.com/c225.html

[RAV TUX]

Linus Torvalds The Peacemaker

How Linus Torvalds, the man behind Linux, keeps the revolution from becoming a jihad.
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/11.07/40torvalds.html

[Baelfael]

Linus Torvalds can download torrents at 10000000000Mbps.

[ComplexNumber]

A friend sent me it, thought it was funny so i decided to post it.
you missed one out:

11 Linus Torvalds has no sense of user interface design




Linus Torvalds has no dependencies.
:mrgreen:

[BOBSONATOR]

Rofl at the jack baur site



Superman has Jack Bauer pajamas.

[Mr Wrath]

This is one of the funniest threads I have seen...

[Arisna]

How about...

Linus Torvalds likes KDE because he telepathically dictates all KDE source code to the KDE devs. In his sleep. Without even realizing it.

[darkhatter]

:confused: does someone want to explain how the KDE vs Gnome thing found its way into this thread, go be *language* somewhere else

[jvc26]

Haha - this threads had me cracked up... quality stuff guys.
Il

[23meg]

linus@debtux:~$ apt-cache search sudo
linus@debtux:~$

[Sammi]

linus@debtux:~$ apt-cache search sudo
linus@debtux:~$

I still consider myself to be new to Ubuntu Linux, and I am half guessing here:

Linus Torvalds is using the terminal on his computer and he runs that command, which searches the computer for packages with the letters "sudo" in the name, and he finds nothing because he doesn't use "sudo", as he is in superuser mode all the time.

How did I do, did I understand it correctly? :D

[23meg]

Spot on.

Maybe except the "superuser mode all the time" bit; I'd just interpret it as "Linus Torvalds doesn't use sudo".

Elaborating loses the point though.

[tehhaxorr]

When the US government want to run disaster simulations, they jam a DVD in linus' mouth.

Linus' favorite joke is HURD

Linus invented the infinately reocouring acronym to show his superiority over normal humans.

[Brunellus]

Spot on.

Maybe except the "superuser mode all the time" bit; I'd just interpret it as "Linus Torvalds doesn't use sudo".

Elaborating loses the point though.
Linus can enrich himself simply by chowning your bank account. He does not do this because there is no challenge in it.

[Bakerconspiracy]

Linus's alphabet cereal forms source code

[machoo02]

Only when he's not eating Binary-Oh's....

[23meg]

Linus Torvalds is registered Linux user #1.

[florizs]

:confused: does someone want to explain how the KDE vs Gnome thing found its way into this thread, go be *language* somewhere else

Linus torvalds has taken a side in de kde/gnome debate declaring that gnome sucks because they don't develop the UI fiddely enough to his taste.

see: http://mail.gnome.org/archives/usability/2005-December/msg00022.html

[beefcurry]

Call my stupid but I don't get Half the Jokes. =.=);; (or in this case, Facts)

[Brunellus]

you'll get them if you hang around the free software community enough.

fact:

Linus is REAL unless declared INTEGER.

[Somenoob]

New fact: All Linus Torvalds facts are factual.

[ZylGadis]

Linus Torvalds is just an engineer.

And that's a fact.

[diskotek]

Linus Torvalds can write to ntfs.

this is the coolest one! :popcorn:

[Sunnz]

Linus created God in his own image.

[Lord Sandwich]

There are no man pages for Linus Torvalds, only god pages.

[Toadmund]

Linus locked in a corporate office overnight running windows OS.
He has Linux cd's with him.

He sneaks out the next day with a big mischievious grin on his face.
TeeHee :biggrin:

Try those boots!

[Somenoob]

Linus Torvalds is just an engineer.

And that's a fact.

Blasphemy!

[23meg]

Linus Torvalds uses KDE.

[regomodo]

this reads like the "Chuck Norris facts" thread

[eljoeb]

this reads like the "Chuck Norris facts" thread

except not as good :confused:

[monsieurdozier]

Linus knows kung fu.

Linus is the one.

[Darkhack]

Linus Torvalds can do an infinite loop in five seconds... in his head.

Linus Torvalds doesn't wear glasses anymore not because he had laser eye surgery, but because he finally got his xorg.conf properly configured in his head.

Linus Torvalds can use a nice level lower than -20.

Linus Torvalds doesn't need to mount his drives.

Linus Torvalds doesn't debug. His programs are always perfect.

Linus Torvalds can install Linux on a dead badger.

Linus Torvalds doesn't need backups. He just uploads his files and lets the world mirror them.

Linus Torvalds is taking over the world. Microsoft is just a deversion so that no one would suspect a mild mannered Finnish programmer.

Linus Torvalds can run kill -9 and kill Chuck Norris.

Linus Torvalds already has Linux 3.0. He is just keeping it to himself to build suspense.

Linus Torvalds didn't design Linux to run on the 386. Intel designed the 386 to run Linux.

People pray to Jesus, but Jesus prays to Linus Torvalds.

Linus Torvalds doesn't die, he simply returns zero.

Linus Torvalds once found a segmentation fault in the universe.

Linus Torvalds runs Linux on his wristwatch and toster.

[FuturePilot]

Jack Bauer will kick all their combined a$$es.
http://www.jackbauerfacts.com/
http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirty

Yeah! Woohoo! Jack Bauer!\\:D/

The Linus Torvalds thing was funny though:lolflag:

[Foxmike]

bump.

Linus Torvalds can install gentoo in under a week.
Nope, that is completly impossible. Even for Linus Thorvalds!

[monsieurdozier]

Linus Torvalds can install Linux on a dead badger.

Linus Torvalds runs Linux on his wristwatch and toster.

My favorite thus far.

[blithen]

My favorite thus far.

Yep. Epic.

[karellen]

Not true. Linus wasn't born, he was developed.

Linus Torvalds can write to ntfs.
:lolflag:

[Darkhack]

Just in case anyone here didn't actually get the refernce I was making with the dead badger joke.... http://www.strangehorizons.com/2004/20040405/badger.shtml

[Sunnz]

Linus need not worry about Microsoft patent crap, he simply do `sudo mv /tmp/ms /dev/null`.

The box said Windows 3.0 or better, so Linus made Linux 0.1.

[red_Marvin]

Linus Torvalds is just an engineer.

And that's a fact.

Linus Torvalds is an Engineer...

[darsu]

Linus always chooses the CowboyNeal option. Even when there isn't one.

Linus was baptized by Kibo in the Cuyahoga River. He is assumed invulnerable to fire.

Linus can instantly ROT-13 all text that he sees. Twice.

[Mazza558]

Linus Torvalds fell asleep in 1989 whilst coding. When he woke up 9 hours later, the computer was just rebooting into a Linux GUI with Compiz Fusion and a completely rewritten GPL License in a file on his desktop.

[mikeypizano]

Linus can divide by zero!

[Nekiruhs]

Linus Torvalds is more powerful than root.

Linus doesn't need anti-virus software. Virii need anti-linus software.

If you could read Linus Torvald's mind, you'd find that his stream of conciousness is entirely in binary.

Linus scared A and B away, so they had to make C.

[Frak]

Linus Torvalds can write to ntfs.
Linus Torvalds can write to HFS+ with Journaling and Case-Sensitivity.

[p_quarles]

Linus could deliver a deadly roundhouse kick. If he wanted to. He prefers the much more deadly
iptables -P INPUT DROP

[Gremlinzzz]

Linus Torvalds is a Geek and a nerd.

[blithen]

Linus Torvalds is a Geek and a nerd.
He is a Gerd?

[danny joe ritchie]

Linus Torvalds is a Geek and a nerd.

A very rich Geek and nerd!
I'm not wasting any more of my Beans on this Chuck Norris & Linus crap!

[devilmyarse]

(saw this a while ago regarding somebody's '1337-ism')

Linus only has 2 buttons on his keyboard '1' and '0'

[23meg]

When Linus Torvalds compiles, build dependencies get installed automatically.

[Sceiron]

http://www.linustorvaldsfacts.tk/

[emshains]

Linus Torvalds doesnt sleep, he just locks the screen.
He configured his brain so he can run compiz-fusion make everything look like you would be using weed.
Linus Torvalds hacked physics so his car can go 500 mph.
Linus Torvalds can chmod +x /root without sudo.
Some true ones: Gate left his university to start microsoft, Steve Jobs (founder of apple) got rid of his wolkswagen bus to start apple, Linus Torvalds made a new thread in a forum and put a file on a ftp server.
He wanted to call his OS Ferax.

[Bruce M.]

Linus made the red pill.

Linus Torvalds is The Matrix and therefore made BOTH pills.


Linus Torvalds uses KDE.

Linus Torvalds is The Kernel


Linus Torvalds is an Engineer...

Excuse me that would be The Engineer


He is a Gerd?

Linus Torvalds is never "a" anything he is The Anything he wants to be!
Therefore Linus Torvalds is The Gerd when and if he chooses to be.

Linus Torvalds is The 1 and 0 is the competition.

[Spike-X]

Here's one:

Linus Torvalds has the same birthday as my daughter (see the avatar). :)
He's certainly accomplished a lot, for somebody so young!

[cardinals_fan]

Linus Torvalds does not need a password for root. He IS root.

[hhhhhx]

(saw this a while ago regarding somebody's '1337-ism')

Linus only has 2 buttons on his keyboard '1' and '0'
Linus's keyboard:

http://stashbox.org/95687/hardcore_keyboard.jpg

[JT9161]

Linus Torvalds doesn't use a mouse the cursor just follows his eyes

[jken146]

Linus Torvalds knows that vi(m) is better than emacs.

[hhhhhx]

there is no ctrl button on linus's keyboard, linus is allwase in control

[asdfqwert]

Linus doesn't use a keyboard, he types with his mind.

[Inferied]

there is no ctrl button on linus's keyboard, linus is allwase in control

It's "always", not "allwase"... Seriously, that crept me out.

Linux doesn't need a browser, he IS the internet.

[ukripper]

Linus Torvalds doesn't kill hardrives
https://bugs.launchpad.net/ubuntu/+source/acpi-support/+bug/59695

[Twitch6000]

Linus Torvalds does not sleep. He hacks.

incorrect again well half way he hacks but he also shutdowns ;).

[fatality_uk]

Linus Torvalds is Finnish! :|

[ZarathustraDK]

Linus Torvalds created apt by typing :

Linus@Torvalds:~$ apt-get install apt

[red_Marvin]

LT has no problem using a 'das keyboard', in fact he can make use of any 'das' computer part.

[3rdalbum]

7. Linus Torvalds doesn't need to boot

That's probably actually true. I reckon whenever Linus buys a computer, he implements full suspend and hibernate support on it.

[asdfqwert]

Linus knows what the source code in proprietary software is just by looking at the dir.

On ALL platforms.

[ukripper]

Duplicate!

[ukripper]

Linus write macros in OpenOffice using VBoption at start of script

[Nunu]

Linus can stop a Blue Screen of Death... On Vista

[ch1c0dj]

Linus Torvalds lives in everyone of us.

[Fedz]

10 PRINT "HELLO"
20 GOTO 10


my second BASIC program was an evolved of the first: it cleared the screen before printing.


5 CLS
10 PRINT "HELLO"
20 GOTO 10


Geez! I did that on my ZX81 donkeys years ago !!!

Soon moved on to more elaborate longer code after the initial excitement wore off :)

Then added colours and borders when the spectrum came out ;)

[mrstrano]

Linus Torvalds solved Russell's paradox.
(Russel's Paradox (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russell's_paradox))

Linus Torvalds has never had to use the Backspace button on his computer.

Linus Torvalds doesn't make bugs when he programs. His bugs are features.

Linus Torvalds can solve NP-hard problems in logarithmic time.

[gardara]

I think it's time to bump this great thread :)

[Sealbhach]

Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle no longer applies because Linus decided for him.

Some people play Su Doku on the train, Linus breaks Enigma codes.

.

[spoons]

There is no Microsoft or closed source. Linus just likes to give Richard Stallman something to do.

[stinger30au]

Linus does not need a keyboard, the computer *just knows* what he needs are

[jimi_hendrix]

Is it just me, or is it some connection between those statements and those found here: http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/


Looks like a variant on Bruce Schneier facts (http://geekz.co.uk/schneierfacts/), that may be a play on Chuck Norrris facts. Bruce is a top encryption/security expert.

Still fun though.

Here's mine:

Linus Torvalds doesn't use a monitor. He can read the video signals from a VGA cable with his finger.

michael phelps facts...found them today (http://www.michaelphelpsfacts.com/Home.html)

heres (http://xkcd.com/225/) mine...linus is in the last frame

[SomeGuyDude]

Is it just me, or is it some connection between those statements and those found here: http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Which are a ripoff of Vin Diesel Facts.

Which were ripped off from the "Bill Brasky" sketch on SNL.

[init1]

michael phelps facts...found them today (http://www.michaelphelpsfacts.com/Home.html)

Yeah I heard about that yesterday, but couldn't remember his name. Thanks for the link!

[CyanideSun666]

LoL Nice XD

[insane_alien]

linus torvalds small left toe coded git while linus was sleeping.

[MaxIBoy]

Just in case anyone here didn't actually get the refernce I was making with the dead badger joke.... http://www.strangehorizons.com/2004/20040405/badger.shtml

I've read that one, but couldn't find it. Thanks for digging it up for me!




Linus Torvalds has a multi-core brain.

Linus Torvalds is usually open to suggestions.

Linus Torvalds can can defragment an NTFS partition by hand.

Linus Torvalds is dynamically typed, global, and not a const; he can change shape, size, and location at will.

Linus Torvalds eats bug reports for lunch.




That's all I can think of right now.

[brunovecchi]

Linus Torvalds knows that vi(m) is better than emacs.

Linus Torvalds codes with butterflies (http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/real_programmers.png)

[SpenceMakesSense]

When Linus types sudo rm -rf / into his terminal. The universe will be deleted.

[nickgaydos]

when linus types sudo rm -rf / into his terminal. The universe will be deleted.

zing!

[Twitch6000]

Linus Torvalds codes with butterflies (http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/real_programmers.png)

LIES he codes with good ol' gedit :P.

[MaxIBoy]

Linus Torvalds sleeps on a bed of boilerplate, and uses comments for a pillow.



||/**/
||/**/#include <stdio.h> #include <string.h>||
||int main() {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}||
||;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;||
|[ , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,]|


Linus Torvalds can program effectively for long periods of time... without caffeine.

[echelonIV]

Linus Torvalds sorts in O(1).
:)

[armageddon08]

Linus Torvalds does not use computers.........HE IS THE COMPUTER

[Sealbhach]

When Linus Torvalds gets angry, kernels everywhere begin to panic.


.

[Sammi]

When Linus Torvalds gets angry, kernels everywhere begin to panic.


.

HAHAHA I like that one - It's fantastic! :lolflag:

[tom66]

Linus Torvalds can execute x86 in his head.
Linus Torvalds can program using a scroll-wheel.
Linus Torvalds invented the washing powder, to promote Linux.
Linus Torvalds can speak in binary, base-3 and all the way up to base-two-million.

[RedPandaFox]

I have come to the conclusion that one the first day Linus Torvalds created the Linux, on the second day he create the electricity to run his creation. On the third day the bot `LaRoza` was created...


:lolflag:

[gardara]

Linus Torvalds doesn't use ubuntu


:twisted:

[Eisenwinter]

Programming languages aren't really "Turing complete", they're "Torvalds complete".

[chriswyatt]

Linus' favourite food is kernels.