Top Ten Reasons Why You Should NOT Use Open Source Software -- Just Kidding!

[ronmarley1]

Sorry to snare you all like this, but I knew the subject would get your attention. Here's the story:
I teach high school English in Ohio, and am a huge supporter of open source software use in education. A couple of colleagues and I are presenting at our state-wide educational technology conference in February. We have given many presentations on using technology in schools, and use looping slide shows of one-liners that the audience can read as they walk in/sit down. The slides focus attention on the screen and provide a humorous atmosphere for the presentation. I'd like to create a presentation lead-in slide show that sarcastically shows the "Top Ten Reasons Why You Should NOT Use Open Source Software." For example, one item/slide could be, "Why muddy the waters with all the software choices?" Another might be, "With the money you save on OS licenses, your wife can now sign you up for those ballroom dancing lessons you always wanted to take."
My call to this group is for other "humorous" items for my slide show. Once I have a show created, I'll share it here. Thanks in advance to all the comedians out there!
EDIT:
As I promised, attached is the slide show of the comments submitted. Thanks to all that did!
rg

[megamania]

Who needs source code? Ignorance is bliss.

[ronmarley1]

Who needs source code? Ignorance is bliss.
YES! Exactly what I'm looking for. Thanks, megamania.

[nephish]

why support open source and rob anti-virus and anti-spyware companies upon whom you have depended for so long ?

[fuscia]

who wants a bunch of friends that just stare at your forehead?

[hotbrainz]

I dont take free stuff, I am too dignified for that

[hotbrainz]

Billy is my role model I dont wanna hurt his feelings :rolleyes:

[yota]

I'm not a comedian, but I can't resist :D

Education:

-You don't want to own your car, or know how it works, you just want to drive it: why software should be different?

-If you teach your son to think, and answer his questions, he'll come up with many more and the damn thing will never end.

Business:

-Everyone else is using propietary crap, you can't afford the risk of beeing more competitive.

-The right to sell to third party the same software you use for free could steer away your company from its core business.

[Arisna]

"The superb quality of Free/Open Source Software will make students' expectations of any software they use in the future too high."

[Aetherius]

"Free Software, You get what you pay for"

[technodigifreak]

With social security going bankrupt, somebody's got to support the richest man in the world...

[mcduck]

"Why try anything new? It can't be better than what you have used for 10 last years."

"Fight unemployment, give jobs to Computer security companies!"

"Higher the price, better the product?"

"Feeling lonely? Use closed source and at least you'll always know your not the only one using your computer."

"With open source you can never use 'my computer crashed' as an excuse."

"Open source is like cancer, contaminating everything it touches" - Thanks for Steve Ballmer for this one ;)

[Stealth]

"Feeling lonely? Use closed source and at least you'll always know your not the only one using your computer."

LOL! That's hilarious...X-D

[tribaal]

Open source is no fun: you don't get the thrills of wondering if you've been infected by a virus.

[JNowka]

Why get something for free when you can pay for it?

I will not use Open Source, I refuse to increase their profit margin!

Open Source? But I didn't want to have extra money!

[drphilngood]

I´m afraid the money I save will put me in a higher tax bracket.

[iPower]

you can't play those drm:ed wma/wmv files with windows lifetime lock in (or untill we tell you that the drm version is obsolete and you lose your files) :)

[smoker]

you don't feel you're getting value for money if you get something free!

[ronmarley1]

Hi Everbody,
Keep 'em coming! I just showed some of the responses to one of my colleagues, and we were cracking up!

[technodigifreak]

I like donating blood to support my software habit.

[iPower]

You love the sony rootkit and there's no linux version

[meng]

By definition, you can't pirate open-source software (pirating is illegal, distributing open-source software is legal).
We all know software piracy is "cool", so you'd be missing out on a cool activity. Ergo, you're uncool.

[eilu]

There are billions of homeless viri out there. Everytime you use Open Source, you deprive them of shelter.

[sweemeng]

this is from my friend, who tease me for using linux:

-can't handle the challenge of using windows?

from me

-using linux is boring, because there is no virus, adware, crashes.................
-missing the fun of:
--finding crack for software
--reformating the pc

[blueturtl]

With all the bugs gone visits by attractive tech support people will be history.

[hotbrainz]

With my system working all the time, I cannot slack at work stating computer failure

[insane_alien]

The BSOD is pretty and addictive, i can't live without it.

[THAiSi]

Just for the fun of this topic... One of the few reasons I switched to ubuntu.

- Why start a program easily while you could search for it in your cluttered start menu for 10 minutes?

- Why world all day while you could spend half a day rebooting for the auto updates of windows, the firewall, the virus scanner and all other 100 auto update tools running in the background preventing the computer to actually make applications run?

[Anessen]

Why use Free Software when you can be just like all of the other nice consuming sheeple?

If you use Free Software, you hate (america/freedom).

Just think of all those poor, starving 6-figure-income execs you will be putting out of business. :(

[sneax]

EDIT:
As I promised, attached is the slide show of the comments submitted. Thanks to all that did!
rg

I'm on Vista and can't open the file?

:guitar: :lolflag:

[bonzodog]

hrm..i'm looking for an independent piece of software to read this, I don't want the openoffice suite.

.odp files are open document presentations, mainly designed to be opened in Impress, but I don't need OOo on my system, I prefer a few small independant apps.

[Bruce M.]

Originally Posted by ronmarley1 View Post
EDIT:
As I promised, attached is the slide show of the comments submitted. Thanks to all that did!
rg


I'm on Vista and can't open the file?

:guitar: :lolflag:

I know he's finished, but I just started reading this ... and this really should be #11 in his list of 10. :lolflag::popcorn::lolflag:

[-grubby]

I can't read that! It's 27 slides! What happened to "top ten reasons"?

[Bruce M.]

I can't read that! It's 27 slides! What happened to "top ten reasons"?

I guess the extra 17 were just too good to pass up.
Can you read pps files?
What do you use to read "slideshows"?

[-grubby]

I guess the extra 17 were just too good to pass up.
Can you read pps files?
What do you use to read "slideshows"?

maybe. openoffice

[Bruce M.]

maybe. openoffice

Yes, that will do it.

[-grubby]

Yes, that will do it.

I meant that 27 slides is a little much to read. (maybe I'm just lazy)

[thx11381974]

Try these


Validation process too complicated

If my software doesn't keep asking for my for my email, how will I remember it

Your Norton subscription will go to waist

Typing 20 digit serial numbers keeps the mind sharp

Paying for software helps keep the economy moving

You can't trust software that lets you see how it works

If it were any good 70% of servers would use it

Open Source Software doesn't have cool names like Vista or Leopard

You can't get your money back if you don't like it

You don't get a shinny box that mostly filled with air

[FG123]

Typing 20 digit serial numbers keeps the mind sharp

Fun fact: I can remember with 100% accuracy my Windows XP serial code. I've reinstalled the damn thing so many times I no longer need to refer to a sticker, I know it as well as my own name now. :)

[TeaSwigger]

- But the Geek Squad beetles are so cute!

(Yeah I know, too late. Couldn't resist :p )

[ronmarley1]

Cool! This was sorta resurrected from the dead. I'll update the slides.
Sorry it's so many. I never believed I'd get so many responses, and there were too many to pass up.

[Bruce M.]

Cool! This was sorta resurrected from the dead. I'll update the slides.
Sorry it's so many. I never believed I'd get so many responses, and there were to many to pass up.

Bet there are more -- like:

Who can trust an OS that takes less then a minute to boot and shut down!
Obviously it's not loading everything!

[lordof7]

I know the show is done, but this topic should be kept alive for fun! Been laughing at my desk like an idiot here. My contribs:

How will you meet new (fellas/ladies) if their computers actually work?

Can't use borked computer as an excuse to check in on your techie children.

No more catnaps at work waiting for a reboot.

Can't use hackers/virii as an excuse for how those files got on your comp.

People waist your time telling you how cool your computer looks.

[Bruce M.]

I know the show is done, but this topic should be kept alive for fun! Been laughing at my desk like an idiot here.

I know what you mean. I added yours to the list, lordof7. So far we have these (sorted and checked the spelling - but I don't know what "borked" means):

Billy is my role model, I don't want to hurt his feelings.
Can't use borked computer as an excuse to check in on your techie children.
Can't use hackers/virus as an excuse for how those files got on your comp.
Everyone else is using proprietary crap, you can't afford the risk of being more competitive.
Feeling lonely? Use closed source software and at least you'll always know your not the only one using your computer.
Fight unemployment, give jobs to Computer security companies!
Free Software, You get what you pay for.
How will you meet new (fellas/ladies) if their computers actually work?
I can remember with 100% accuracy my Windows XP serial code. I've reinstalled the damn thing so many times I no longer need to refer to a sticker, I know it as well as my own name now.
I don't take free stuff, I am too dignified for that.
If it were any good 70% of servers would use it.
If my software doesn't keep asking for my for my email, how will I remember it.
If you teach your son to think, and answer his questions, he'll come up with many more and the damn thing will never end.
I like donating blood to support my software habit.
I love calling Bangalore, India for tech. support!
I´m afraid the money I save will put me in a higher tax bracket.
I will not use Open Source, I refuse to increase their profit margin!
No more catnaps at work waiting for a reboot.
Open Source? But I didn't want to have extra money!
Open source is like cancer, contaminating everything it touches - Steve Ballmer, CEO Micro$oft
Open source is no fun: you don't get the thrills of wondering if you've been infected by a virus.
Open Source Software doesn't have cool names like Vista or Leopard.
Paying for software helps keep the economy moving.
People waste your time telling you how cool your computer looks.
People who say Linux is difficult to use are just obsessed by windows ... Close your windows and open your doors to Linux.
Somebody's got to support the richest man in the world.
The Blue Screen of Death is pretty and addictive. I can't live without it.
The higher the price, better the product!
There are billions of homeless viruses out there. Every time you use open source, you deprive them of shelter.
The right to sell to third party the same software you use for free could steer away your company from its core business.
The superb quality of Free/Open Source Software will make students' expectations of any software they use in the future too high.
Top Ten Reasons Why You Should NOT Use Open Source Software
Typing 20 digit serial numbers keeps the mind sharp.
Validation process too complicated.
Who can trust an OS that takes less then a minute to boot up and shut down! Obviously it's not loading everything!
Who needs source code? Ignorance is bliss.
Who needs source code? Ignorance is bliss.
Who wants a bunch of friends that just stare at your forehead?
Why get something for free when you can pay for it?
Why get something for free when you can pay for it?
Why muddy the waters with all the software choices?
Why support open source and rob anti-virus and anti-spyware companies of income, upon whom you have depended for so long?
Why try anything new? It can't be better than what you have used for 10 last years.
With open source you can never use 'my computer crashed' as an excuse.
With social security going bankrupt, somebody's got to support the richest man in the world.
With the money you save on OS licenses, your wife can now sign you up for those ballroom dancing lessons you've always wanted to take.
You can't get your money back if you don't like it.
You can't play those drm:ed wma/wmv files with windows lifetime lock in (or until we tell you that the drm version is obsolete and you lose your files).
You can't trust software that lets you see how it works.
You'd miss the excitement of seeing the cute Geek Squad VW Beetle pulling into your driveway.
You'd miss the fun of reformatting your PC.
You don't feel you're getting value for money if you get something free!
You don't get a shinny box that mostly filled with air.
You don't want to own your car, or know how it works, you just want to drive it: why software should be different?
You love the challenge of using Windows.
You love the Sony root-kit and there's no Linux version.
Your Norton subscription will go to waste.

Keep them coming, it should get to the Top 1000 Reasons.

:lolflag:

[lordof7]

My bad - borked is more of a hardware term. My fun def follows.

borked adj. describes a behavior in which something is not functioning correctly, and yet is not completely broken. can be described as strange or unexpected behavior. generally refers to electronics.

synonyms: wonky, flaky, screwed up