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View Full Version : If life were more like Linux...



lazyart
November 6th, 2006, 04:54 PM
I come across things while wandering around in Ubuntu that make me wonder why life can't be that simple. Has anyone else experienced this?

For example,

If like were more like Linux:

Getting a new job would be a piece of cake. Interviewer looks over your resume and says "You know... you've got a strong background in sales, but you need some more managerial experience for this position."

You reply "Hang on a sec" and you execute sudo apt-get install -f
You instantly resolve your dependencies and get the job.

A month into the job you get sick and have to take some time off. You come back and things have changed. No problem. sudo apt-get update and you are on top of everything.

What about the ladies looking for a makeover? You couldn't tell me that sudo dpkg-reconfigure xserver-xorg wouldn't do the trick.

Klaidas
November 6th, 2006, 05:02 PM
There wouldn't be any basketball/football/*ball/other games.

DoctorMO
November 6th, 2006, 05:03 PM
Getting a new job would be a piece of cake. Interviewer looks over your resume and says "You know... you've got a strong background in sales, but you need some more managerial experience for this position."

You reply "Hang on a sec" and you execute sudo apt-get install -f
You instantly resolve your dependencies and get the job.

sudo human-get learn skills-manageral

takes 3 years to complete.

argie
November 6th, 2006, 05:40 PM
actually my greatest problem is:
slocate keys

PatrickMay16
November 6th, 2006, 06:09 PM
It would be a tough life, with random parts of your body suddenly failing to work for weird reasons, having to choose very carefully at the supermarket for food you're compatible with, only being able to hear sound from one thing at one time (unless you have ears with HARDWARE MIXING)...
I would commit suicide.

And don't get me started on life as Windows. Heh heh heh heh.

Engnome
November 6th, 2006, 06:11 PM
sudo human-get learn skills-manageral

takes 3 years to complete.

If only thing were that easy, but than it wouldn't be a challenge...

/me wonders how long it'll take until someone posts the classical apt-get joke.

Engnome
November 6th, 2006, 06:13 PM
It would be a tough life, with random parts of your body suddenly failing to work for weird reasons, having to choose very carefully at the supermarket for food you're compatible with, only being able to hear sound from one thing at one time (unless you have ears with HARDWARE MIXING)...
I would commit suicide.

Loser.

Think of the benefits, no need to hibernate/shut down you can just go on forever. Be able to solve stuff like 5(X+5⁴)= 9 in seconds! Browse the web wirelessly while laying resting in your sofa.

DoctorMO
November 6th, 2006, 06:17 PM
Nah, your confusing 'what life would be like being a computer' with the OT.

IYY
November 6th, 2006, 06:20 PM
Somebody post that stick figure comic...

- Make me a sandwich
- What? No, make it yourself
- Sudo make me a sandwich
- Ok

zgornel
November 6th, 2006, 06:23 PM
$sudo apt-get gorgeous_chick_naked_now
$sudo apt-get condoms
$ ./go_for_it
Please wait ....

darkghost
November 6th, 2006, 06:46 PM
Well, wasn't that shown on the matrix ?

Computer: Helicopter skills pls.

and in less thant 10 sec. you become the most talentous helicopter pilot in the world!!! Wow... Now if I could ask to have success with girls like, let's say, George Clooney... :D :D :D

Mimsy
November 6th, 2006, 06:49 PM
Well, if I see any girls like George Clooney, I'll send them your way... ;)

/Mimsy

lazyart
November 6th, 2006, 07:05 PM
sudo human-get learn skills-manageral

takes 3 years to complete.

Doesn't life just suck on dial-up?

zgornel
November 6th, 2006, 07:39 PM
Doesn't life just suck on dial-up?
No no. apt-get install money && apt-get install broadband
There you go. You've just got pimped. :D

kuja
November 6th, 2006, 08:41 PM
sudo rm -rf president

???

Rui Pais
November 6th, 2006, 09:03 PM
Backups?... quick, go for it before it's too late:


dd if=/me/now of=/dev/hda1/home/me/my.backup

then you can make a cron task for the beginning of each year:


dd if=/dev/hda1/home/me/my.backup of=/dev/me

Koori23
November 6th, 2006, 09:18 PM
$sudo apt-get gorgeous_chick_naked_now
$sudo apt-get condoms
$ ./go_for_it
Please wait ....

Yeah but.. You'd be better suited to alias and put it in ~/.liferc.

Better yet, create a cron job... It should only run for one minute, then sleep for 8 hours.

tribaal
November 6th, 2006, 09:21 PM
I'd be better suited to do multiple tasks at once, even though my hardware doesn't support hyperthreading (I'm a guy ;) ).

- trib'

Bigbluecat
November 6th, 2006, 10:15 PM
man life

mad0master
November 6th, 2006, 10:20 PM
when u feel lonely u can talk

man man | grep yo

Kernel Sanders
November 6th, 2006, 11:04 PM
If you were linux, you'd soon get sick of people telling you that "you wernt ready to enter the world" :p

zvezdogled
November 6th, 2006, 11:04 PM
man woman
that would give you thinking, or an segmentation fault.

jc87
November 6th, 2006, 11:16 PM
man woman
that would give you thinking, or an segmentation fault.

Most man pages look like they were written by monkeys on LSD, with man woman you probably would be end thinking that those same monkeys received a bonus from the dealer while writing it:rolleyes:

Mimsy
November 6th, 2006, 11:26 PM
Nonsense, man is the irrational one that can never be understood. Woman, on the other hand, makes perfect sense to anyone who actully spends time around one and pays attention to anything other than her anatomy.

Which might explain why so many guys online fail to understand us... lack of exposure. :)

/Mimsy

punkinside
November 7th, 2006, 02:28 AM
Nonsense, man is the irrational one that can never be understood. Woman, on the other hand, makes perfect sense to anyone who actully spends time around one and pays attention to anything other than her anatomy.

Which might explain why so many guys online fail to understand us... lack of exposure. :)

/Mimsy

I wish that were true! I spend 80% of my time with my gf and I still have no clue whats going on in there...

Mimsy
November 7th, 2006, 05:09 AM
I wish that were true! I spend 80% of my time with my gf and I still have no clue whats going on in there...

Well, in all honesty I often have that problem with the Fiance (after nearly five years together!), but every time that happens it's because I am too focussed thinking of him as "male" and not realising that he is really just a person.

Sure, anatomically different from me in several ways, but his behaviour in a conversation isn't exactly caused by the anatomical differences. It's caused by whatever he has experienced throughout his life up until that moment. Individual first, gender second, that makes people way easier to understand ;)

Iandefor
November 7th, 2006, 05:30 AM
Anytime someone didn't like what you were doing, they could fork you and give your fork a silly new name.

You could recompile your body from 'source' with the latest vanilla body from body.org.

If you needed a particular skill, just a quick sudo aptitude install would do the trick!

In order to automate boring old tasks, you could write scripts to do it while you check out.

Any time you needed help, help would just be a manpage away.

Oooh, and you could mount other people's brains inside your own brain, if life were more like Linux!

kuja
November 7th, 2006, 07:24 AM
mount /dev/chair
./computeron.py
./wastetime.py

echo "and so the circle completes." > /dev/voice

3rdalbum
November 7th, 2006, 11:32 AM
If your supervisor asked you to compile a report:



$ cd report-0.1/
$ ./configure
$ make
$ sudo checkinstall

xyz
November 7th, 2006, 12:14 PM
Well, we'd all be in a free world then - so we could give Windows a try! lol
Would we?

sudo aptitude install windows

steven8
November 7th, 2006, 12:18 PM
I'd still be walking funny after my Microsoft deal. . .