Hillarious: Linux Slammed by Windows Expert

[consecratus]

Hi fellow linuxians.

I was browsing through internet for something soothing and fun, after hard day at work(configured another 3 Cisco routers, setting up some web-robots, setting up some old Redhat Linux 9.0 to be converted to RHEL3WS[Don't worry I use Ubuntu Hoary on my laptop..])

I found a website which was both Comical and somehow Sad.

The below website, made me feel sorry about the guy's education, how one company can become a propaganda itself and generally I felt very comical and sad about it.

http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/mcse2.htm

After you have been reading this heretical article, you might be furious and want to crack into the guy..but fellow linuxians let us pray for the sorry soul of this particular person and let's teach ourselves in educating begginers and brainwashed MCSEs....

[Seti]

Yeah that one's been around for quite some time now. I'm sure its meant as a joke though, so don't feel sad that Jorge Lopez is such an idiot, he's just a joker. Let's not laugh at him, lets laugh with him.

[benplaut]

Who wants to use an operating system that doesn't learn about you, that doesn't keep track of what you like to look at on the web, listen to, or watch? With Windows XP Home, I have the peace of mind that comes with knowing my habits and activities are being monitored by Microsoft

i have a fealing that it was toungh in cheek :roll:

[bored2k]

If that guy is not joking, he should be featured on Slashdot. He's better than b*tchchecker a.k.a the world's best hacker.

[benplaut]

If that guy is not joking, he should be featured on Slashdot. He's better than b*tchchecker a.k.a the world's best hacker.

wow! you typed b*tchchecker, and that cat in your avatar started laughing :shock:

[codejunkie]

If that guy is not joking, he should be featured on Slashdot. He's better than b*tchchecker a.k.a the world's best hacker.
i loved that story what your ip and you gone 127.0.0.1 made this fat geek roll in the floor :-P oh what fun!

[WildTangent]

im pretty sure that article is a joke. awhile ago i came across one article by a "concerned parent" that claimed, among others that linux is a huge virus, and was copied from M$ code by a russian hacker. lol that i hope is a joke as well, but i couldnt be sure. ill see if i can find it later when i get home

-Wild

[Kyral]

I laugh at this. One, because it was written in 2003 and it is for the most part not valid anymore (it might have been true in 2003, but not now)

I also enjoy how he claims that Windows is the ultimate gaming system based on Solitare, FreeCell, Hearts, and Minesweeper. Someone introduce this man to SuperTux, Frozen Bubble, TuxRacer, or KPoker(addictive,,,,)

Oh yes, and also calling us "Linux Facists". Thats great. Someone give this man a copy of the Ubuntu LiveCD :D

[jdodson]

If that guy is not joking, he should be featured on Slashdot. He's better than b*tchchecker a.k.a the world's best hacker.

this guy is funny in a "i am making this up" kinda way.

bitchchecker was funny in a "i am seriously this way" funny.

i think bitchchecker was funnier. just my opinion though.

the mcse story was good, in a "dead lock, linux you lose" sort of way.......(now to pull a 90's phrase)..... NOT!

ok i am dork, i admit it.

[Seti]

awhile ago i came across one article by a "concerned parent" that claimed, among others that linux is a huge virus, and was copied from M$ code by a russian hacker.

-Wild

Here it is, OUTRAGEOUS (http://www.ehacked.com/front_page/articles/is_your_child_a_hacker?/)

enjoy.

[Kyral]

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD" this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of America processor chips They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

ROFLMAO!!


6. Does your son use Quake?

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locksinstalled. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.

*snicker*


8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

Invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.


*dies laughing*

The best part about this? I have heard these arguments from sane people before

And now for you enjoyment. http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

[WildTangent]

my god...another one...
http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/MacMini2.html

btw, the stupid computer user page....i should stop reading that, before i lose faith in half of the human races ability to use computers...

-Wild

[bored2k]

That's like, the same Jorge Lopez from the original article LOL !
Jorge Lopez is a DeVry graduate with an MCSE certification and is currently the Chief Software Reviewer at Divisiontwo.com's Technology Insider.

I fear his knowledge.

[pdk001]

total score window 5 : 0 linux..

[bored2k]

These are the guys (I say guys because a girl would simply think twice before posting such thing in public) responsible for the lack of knowledge and ignorance in the world. I now blame Jorge Lopez & company for something a fellow Systems Engineering student told me: Linux is old, it sucks, its ugly and XP rules because it's blue.

People seem to pay more attention to these kind of articles than the regular techie Linux one..

[benplaut]

Here it is, OUTRAGEOUS (http://www.ehacked.com/front_page/articles/is_your_child_a_hacker?/)

enjoy.

hehehehe... thanks! :razz:


8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

Invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.



"created by microsoft"? :grin:

[WildTangent]

heres a picture from one of Jorge's articles
http://www.ttmaxx.biz/misc4/d2pics/*******ar.jpg
i think youll find its worth a thousand words

heres the article
http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/utilityshootout.html

-Wild

[bored2k]

heres a picture from one of Jorge's articles
http://www.ttmaxx.biz/misc4/d2pics/*******ar.jpg
i think youll find its worth a thousand words

heres the article
http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/utilityshootout.html

-Wild
That looks more like a Casino than a Web Browser. It's pathethic.

[Psquared]

One thing many home computer users are concerned with these days is viruses and all the time they consume. Linux zealots will try to say that their platform isn't plagued by things like email viruses, but with Windows XP I don't gotta worry about emailing viruses to my friends and family at all. The built-in email client Outlook Express does it automatically, in the background.

I'm pretty sure this is all "tongue 'n cheek."

[David Kaisemann]

Jorge Lopez just an overweening, unscrupulous and brazen kid who was become a victim of a Macrohard's aggressive politics. He live in The World of Dreams, where all peoples like Gaps XP, have a smile when system is fall and whant to pay tons of $.
I think Lapiz (Ooops!) can sacrifice himself to BG if he asked for it. IMHO, Lopez have a psychological scar and conception of a human freedom just unbearable for him.

To be continued...

[somuchfortheafter]

the pic posted above would be funnier had i not had to work on someones computer about a month back that had ie looking exactly like that, when i installed firefox for them i had to spend an hour explaining why all of their "goodies" were infact bad.

[CyberHobo]

Here it is, OUTRAGEOUS (http://www.ehacked.com/front_page/articles/is_your_child_a_hacker?/)

enjoy.

Thanks for the link. That was obvisously written by a psychotic. :mrgreen:

[bigzak]

I especially like:


Linux zealots will try to say that their platform isn't plagued by things like email viruses, but with Windows XP I don't gotta worry about emailing viruses to my friends and family at all. The built-in email client Outlook Express does it automatically, in the background.

I think the genius of it is that, despite the complete insanity of it all, it still sounds exactly like, say, a CNET article. Well done that man!

:grin:

[chadauld]

Unreal... that's all I can say. ](*,)

[brunov]

funny articles the ones on divisiontwo, although i think some people here arent realising they are just humour and filled with sarcasm. Have you read his article on Windows No? that one clearly shows his attitude towards windows
:)

[Moobert]

Jorge Lopez is a DeVry graduate with an MCSE certification and is currently working as a Windows LAN Administrator.

Windows LAN Administrator... crime and punishment :)



Users of Microsoft software have nothing to worry about from a legal perspective, which lets Windows network administrators like myself sleep easier at night. Or it would if our pagers weren't constantly going off.


last time i checked ibm etc had alot of patents to to keep mircosoft worried... or is he working on the idea you can't sue mircosoft because the are mircosoft. As for the pagers... check netcrafts uptime graphs once in a while, also the IIS to apache ratio :)

http://webmonkey.wired.com/webmonkey/99/46/index1a_page2.html?tw=programming
another mircosoft troll that annoyed me of late

[BoneKracker]

This is old, but I just saw it and was beside myself laughing. So I apologize to any who have seen this already...

It seems that, being a DeVry graduate and an MCSE, he felt obligated to share his expertise and let the world know how dramatically Windows blows Linux away.

http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/mcse2.htm

Some of my favorite lines:


"Windows XP features the dependable DRM features home users demand"

"Hearts, FreeCell (so addictive!), Minesweeper, and Solitaire. It's easy to see why XP is considered the ultimate platform for gamers"

"Why doesn't Linux come with any defragmenting tools or virus scanners or Active Backdoor Update like you get with Windows?"

"With Windows XP Home, I have the peace of mind that comes with knowing my habits and activities are being monitored by Microsoft"

Once this case goes to court in 2005, and IBM loses, Linux users will owe SCO $650 *per seat* for Linux deployments. This is far more expensive than Windows.

[christhemonkey]

Haha that is hilarious :)


Sounds like he used mandrake for 1 day, and then believes he is some sort of expert upon it?!


Ah dear...

Thankyou BoneKracker for that.

[mips]

This is old, but I just saw it and was beside myself laughing.

Just from the comments this guy sounds like an egit.

Is this digged ? Should be.

Shame, I just went to the site and the guy is brave/stupid enough to even put a picture of himself there :-k

[viper]

What is this guy on!!

[TheSqueak]

What's particularly funny is that people seem to think he was being serious when he wrote this.

It's a reasonable piece of satire, although i've seen better, but really, how can anyone actually think this was anything other than a ****-take?

[Reshin]

For the love of god, people. The guy is clearly joking :D

[Old Pink]

Yeah, it's a clear joke. :)

Funny though!

[chavo]

Did any of you actually read this? I mean read and comprehend. This is satire and is actually slamming Windows.
Kids these days! Take some time and enjoy your life people, slow down, relax, smell the flowers ... all that jazz.

Take a deep breath.

Ok, feel better?

[darkghost]

Wow....and this guy is MS certified ? I mean someone certified him ?

I think that this article could do more damage to MS than many more things...
Can you imagine a boss thinking about hiring an expert to take care of the network and reading this ??

[Gustav]

HAHA!!!

Look at the other articles on that page. Great humour!

This is a good example: One Child Dead, 3 Wounded in Daycare Piracy Raid (http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/newsburst3.htm)

[chaosgeisterchen]

Nice statements. One can ignore them.

[esaym]

Heck I was just looking at DeVry. Anyone know if it is a good school?

[23meg]

It's a h-o-a-x.

[funkyade]

One thing many home computer users are concerned with these days is viruses and all the time they consume. Linux zealots will try to say that their platform isn't plagued by things like email viruses, but with Windows XP I don't gotta worry about emailing viruses to my friends and family at all. The built-in email client Outlook Express does it automatically, in the background.

classic!!!!!!!! Outlook express takes care of mailing all those viruses for you.... automatically!!!!

[chaosgeisterchen]

It's a h-o-a-x.

It should have been regarded as one. Too low-leveled to be serious.

[christhemonkey]

Haha now i feel uber-stupid :D

Good stuff.

[Kimm]

What's particularly funny is that people seem to think he was being serious when he wrote this.

It's a reasonable piece of satire, although i've seen better, but really, how can anyone actually think this was anything other than a ****-take?

Thank you!
I was starting to think people didnt understand he was joking :-P

I especially love this quote:

Who wants to use an operating system that doesn't learn about you, that doesn't keep track of what you like to look at on the web, listen to, or watch? With Windows XP Home, I have the peace of mind that comes with knowing my habits and activities are being monitored by Microsoft, and my computer's hardware configuration and list of installed software is being stored in a database in Redmond."

[LMP900]

Ha! That was a good read. That guy is awesome.

[prizrak]

It actually seems like his being sarcastic, using a server to burn DVDs and stuff.

[dbott67]

Here's another great article from our tongue-in-cheek correspondent:
http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/windows_no.htm

-Dave

[ComplexNumber]

the author is taking the p out of windows, not linux. he's being sarcastic. i saw this article a while back.
one only needs to read the following to know his underlying theme :D:

As I am sitting here writing this column, my computer is busily defragging my hard drive, running my virus scanner, and I'm being shown a list of all the latest MS security patches that are being remotely installed on my machine today. Why doesn't Linux come with any defragmenting tools or virus scanners or Active Backdoor Update like you get with Windows? These are all must-have features for me.

[Sunnz]

This guy is a pure genius!!!

[denad]

Really funny stuff! but I read half before I understood the joke...

[PatrickMay16]

I can not understand how anyone could fail to realise that this page is a joke.

[tubasoldier]

Thats great. I'll have to remember some of those sweet arguments.

[hotbrainz]

This guy has a flair for it and does it in a matter-of-fact way. A windows lover reading this article will have a great time (muhahah.
Read his other MS raid articles...they are too good.

[warlorddagaz]

Pure jokes - really funny - I'm gonna have to show this to my friends

[Anonii]

This is old, but I just saw it and was beside myself laughing. So I apologize to any who have seen this already...

It seems that, being a DeVry graduate and an MCSE, he felt obligated to share his expertise and let the world know how dramatically Windows blows Linux away.

http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/mcse2.htm

Some of my favorite lines:

Use the search function of this forum and search for:
"http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/mcse2.htm"

See that there are already 4 threads about this. Weclome yourself to yesterday. And finally, YOU HAVE BEEN TROLLED!

[Sunnz]

Here's another great article from our tongue-in-cheek correspondent:
http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/windows_no.htm

-Dave
How did you find your way around that site???

[EdThaSlayer]

lol! This guy must be joking!


I'm running XP on the monster rig I use at home--a brand new Compaq mid-tower--and the OS blazes like a Corvette.


A monster RIG!!! no wonder it goes fast!



where is Microsoft Office for Linux, Windows Media Player for Linux and Outlook Express for Linux? Nowhere to be found.

Dont think Microsoft would make products for linux computers XD



I have the peace of mind that comes with knowing my habits and activities are being monitored by Microsoft, and my computer's hardware configuration and list of installed software is being stored in a database in Redmond

Oh yeah! You sure do!
Funny article! really enjoyed it!

p.s-this guy seems to be more on our side[secretly] than windows side...

[ComplexNumber]

p.s-this guy seems to be more on our side[secretly] than windows side...its pretty obvious that he's taking the p out of windows ;). its all very tongue in cheek.

[daou]

Just goes to show what you need to know (and what IQ is required) to obtain an MSCE.

Ok, I admit, I did play minesweeper once on my VMWare XP with all my Gnome games available on the other screen. I guess it is the ultimate gaming platform afterall.

[dbott67]

How did you find your way around that site???

I didn't. It pretty much sucks for navigation, but there is a link on the bottom of the first article posted that linked me to Windows No.

-Dave

[Kateikyoushi]

This one is a killer, I expected it to be another MS funded research about how much more expensive is linux compared to win, then I fell off the chair.


they encountered fierce resistance in the cubby room area, as children began hurling rocks and broken bottles at the officers and chanting anti-American slogans. :mrgreen: ](*,)

[Ocxic]

ah, even the uber windoz geek will admit:


Linux zealots will try to say that their platform isn't plagued by things like email viruses, but with Windows XP I don't gotta worry about emailing viruses to my friends and family at all. The built-in email client Outlook Express does it automatically, in the background.

and this scares me:


Windows versus Linux - Preference Tracking and Calling Home

Linux is popular with the freeloading crowd that feels justified stealing all their music, movies and software for free. But with Windows XP, and even more so in the upcoming Longhorn, activities that infringe on a corporation's intellectual property are becoming harder and riskier to engage in. I have dabbled with Mandrake Linux for a day or so, and I was shocked by how few preference-gathering applications were running in the background and how it did absolutely no "calling home", never even contacting the Mandrake server to make sure my product's license key was intact. Who wants to use an operating system that doesn't learn about you, that doesn't keep track of what you like to look at on the web, listen to, or watch? With Windows XP Home, I have the peace of mind that comes with knowing my habits and activities are being monitored by Microsoft, and my computer's hardware configuration and list of installed software is being stored in a database in Redmond. Windows Longhorn will go even further than XP in this regard, as it won't even run any programs or code that hasn't been registered and approved by Microsoft. Goodbye, Kazaa, WinMX, Limewire, Piolet, your infringing days are numbered! Windows Longhorn will be like having a little cop right inside your computer, something MCSEs such as myself have been demanding for years. Let me just say, it's about f'ing time!

and what lawsuite is he talking about, i don't remember paying 650 buck when i installed linux...

i hope this is a joke, or this guy is obviously delusional.

[midwinter]

Merging threads from months back is odd & confusing..

[ComplexNumber]

Ocxic
read the rest of the thread.

[Albi]

I really miss adequacy.org, why was it just shut down like that (btw the Linux soviet thing was just a troll)

[Johnsie]

I have dabbled with Mandrake Linux for a day or so, and I was shocked by how few preference-gathering applications were running in the background and how it did absolutely no "calling home", never even contacting the Mandrake server to make sure my product's license key was intact. Who wants to use an operating system that doesn't learn about you, that doesn't keep track of what you like to look at on the web, listen to, or watch? With Windows XP Home, I have the peace of mind that comes with knowing my habits and activities are being monitored by Microsoft


The article is a satirical one. The guy is pretending to be an MSCE graduate because people studying MSCE courses are generally Windows fanboys (not always though). I think there should be more Linux certifications so that people can learn the good things and the technical things about Linux.

We may hate it but Microsoft are quite successful when it comes to entering the education sector. Linux people need to do more to get Linux courses into schools, colleges and Universities.

[electrogeek]

If you like that why not read about a Windows expert (myself aka ElectroGeek) slamming Windows. Sad after all these years of running Microsoft products, but I am heading down that Ubuntu path fast!
http://electrogeek.com/blog/2006/10/25/is-microsoft-pushing-customers-to-linux/

[Stu09]

Hey guys did you know 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary ?

HAHAHA how could you read that and not know that it was a joke taking the **** out of Microsoft ? Very funny shizzle!

[Canuckelhead]

Here it is, OUTRAGEOUS (http://www.ehacked.com/front_page/articles/is_your_child_a_hacker?/)

enjoy.

I like Russians!

[Christmas]

Why doesn't Linux come with any defragmenting tools or virus scanners or Active Backdoor Update like you get with Windows?
It's not that he gives advantage to Windows, the problem is that he makes a comparison without knowing what he compares Windows with. Obviously that guy knows little about Linux.

[dbott67]

It's not that he gives advantage to Windows, the problem is that he makes a comparison without knowing what he compares Windows with. Obviously that guy knows little about Linux.

It was a joke on the first page and it's still a joke on this page... read the rest of the posts in this thread.

Can't you feel your leg being pulled by this guy? :)

[ComplexNumber]

It was a joke on the first page and it's still a joke on this page... read the rest of the posts in this thread.

Can't you feel your leg being pulled by this guy? :)
there are still people posting in this thread that have read the 1st post and concluded that the guy is actually being serious :lol:.

[Sunnz]

It was a joke on the first page and it's still a joke on this page... read the rest of the posts in this thread.

Can't you feel your leg being pulled by this guy? :)

Umm I wonder what would Windows user feel should one read this article... maybe I'll do post it in some Windows forums!!!

[ComplexNumber]

Umm I wonder what would Windows user feel should one read this article... maybe I'll do post it in some Windows forums!!!
post back if you do - reading the reactions would be hilarious ;)

[Sunnz]

Sure; though I have a feeling that I may be accuse of spamming and getting the thread locked at the forum that I am posting at.

[sanderella]

Maybe he's got shares in Microsoft.8)

[ComplexNumber]

Sure; though I have a feeling that I may be accuse of spamming and getting the thread locked at the forum that I am posting at.
just make a post something like this:

Hi everyone
i was wondering if you could help me with my predicament. i've been a lifelong mac user and i still own one. however, my mac has been giving me more and more problems these days and my faith in apple is really being tested. so much so that i'm thinking of changing to either windows or linux. now we all know about the many problems that are inherent in windows concerning its reliability, security, and poorly written code, but the way i'm feeling now about my mac i'm likely to try anything that isn't a mac. i don't know much about linux, but i've heard from all the experts that its considerably better than windows in every depatment apart from hardware support and gaming support. considering that i've used windows before and not used linux, maybe windows will be the better for me. in addition to that, i was reading the comparison(in the link below) between linux and windows, and linux did really badly. is the picture painted about linux really that bad? any help would be appreciated. thanks.
http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/mcse2.htm

[Sunnz]

just make a post something like this:
Lol thanks for the sample post I have already posted something else (something like: think linux? think again!!)... and I love my MacBook too much to post something like above anyway.

Perhaps contrary to what you may have thought, they (Windows users.) have picked up the joke right away, it took not the fifth post, not 4, not even 2 - they just knew it HAS to be a joke.

Some comments are like, "That was a comnplete joke. Linux is 10x better than Windows. I use windows because I don't like linux.. I've used it, found it to be better than windows, but I don't like it at all."

I guess the problem lies is that they know Linux is a better platform, they like to use it but they would think it is too hard or it is not designed for them, or simply just tried a bad distro for their computer configuraton. Most Windows users doesn't know what distro means in terms of Linux anyway, they think it is all the same.

[KaroSHi]

Anyone who thinks this is serious..wow..i can almost SMELL this guys sarcasm.