How do you ask someone out?

[burnitdown]

how do you ask someone out

[exploder]

You just be polite and ask. Be nice if they say no and remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea. The important thing to remember is that if you do not ask you will never know. Be yourself too!

[Peripheral Visionary]

"Not a date, just dinner!"

Takes the pressure off your request.

[vexorian]

Be polite, confident, straightforward and honest in your intentions. If you want a date, say the word date and not "just dinner". Consider there is a big probability the other person is also a human being just like you.

[malspa]

Just ask. Worst that can happen is they'll say no and you'll be crushed and your entire life will be ruined. ;)

[meditatingfrog]

The better question probably is "How do you ask someone out without getting rejected?"

The answer is "You probably can't".

The likelihood of rejection occurring at some point in your life is pretty high, I suspect even the best looking/smartest/funniest men and women get rejected at least once in their lives.

Perhaps an even better question than the last: "How do i deal with rejection when it occurs?"

This question i believe can't be answered in a short sentence, but a start might be Cittara Ariya Saccari aka "The Four Noble Truths".

[odiseo77]

How about "Hey, wanna go to the movies?"? (or whatever place you want to invite them to). This may be a cultural thing but I don't think getting a "no" for an answer is that serious (unless I'm really very interested in the girl).

[drawkcab]

Just make conversation with the person and then ask them if they want to hang out at some point.

I used to be terrified of doing this when I was younger but then I found out that many women wanted me to ask them out and I just missed the boat because I was being a coward.

Yeah, you are going to get rejected sometimes but what do you have to lose? As you ask more people out, you become more confident which, in turn, improves your chances of not being rejected.

Just be yourself, gather up some courage and get after it!

[WinterMadness]

"hey you, go out with me!"

[Mikeb85]

I hope this isn't too philisophical, but here goes.

If there's one thing I've learned in my short but tumultuous life, it's that there's absolutely nothing worse, nothing at all, than to look back upon your life, and to say, "What if?" What if I had asked out that girl? What if I had applied for that job? What if I had studied a little harder?

If you try and fail, you've lost nothing. If you try and succeed, you've gained something.

A wise man once said, "Fortune favours the bold." And it really does.

Failure is easy to live with, regret isn't.

[sammiev]

Hi, want to join me for a coffee. Start slow and move on from there. :guitar:

[Porcini M.]

I hope this isn't too philisophical, but here goes.

If there's one thing I've learned in my short but tumultuous life, it's that there's absolutely nothing worse, nothing at all, than to look back upon your life, and to say, "What if?" What if I had asked out that girl? What if I had applied for that job? What if I had studied a little harder?

If you try and fail, you've lost nothing. If you try and succeed, you've gained something.

A wise man once said, "Fortune favours the bold." And it really does.

Failure is easy to live with, regret isn't.

+1 Well said!

[sharathpaps]

From my own experience, the most important piece of wisdom I can give you at this point is this: Girls are human beings too. They have exactly the same feelings that you have. The same longing, fear of being rejected or ignored, insecurities, wants, needs..everything. So she is in all likelihood going through the same trepidations that you are. Be bold and confident. Look into her eyes, smile and tell her that you would like to take her out to dinner or for a date.You don't have to look like Brad Pitt. Trust me. In fact looks are way down the list of things that a girl looks for in a man. Dress neatly and behave like a gentleman and she'll be impressed. All the best. Let us know how it goes :)

[HermanAB]

The trick to going to a party, or a coffee shop and strike up a simple conversation with a lady, is to have a little prop of some kind in a pocket and ask an innocent question so that the lady has to give a simple answer, or make a common statement, so that she could respond - or not.

The first trick is that you got to go where the women are, otherwise you'll never get to meet anyone. So wander into bookstores, coffee shops, groceries, gyms, pools...

At the pool: Man, the water is flippen cold today...

At the gym: I would rather sleep than run today, but it sure is the best way to wake up...

At the gym: 'Scuse me, I'm new in this gym, do you know the trick to adjust this machine?

In the Grocery line-up: Wow, it is a long line, would you care for some coffee while the crowd dissipates?

The Starbucks line-up: Hmm, do you think the muffins are any good today?

...and when you get an awkward silence, take out a movie schedule from your pocket: Do you know whether 'insert some girl movie or 3D cartoon - not a shootemup' is any good?

Note, that the first meeting is always for coffee, the second one is a movie, the third one may have some spark. Only go camping/climbing/canoeing/sailing once you know each other well, since something always goes wrong on an outdoor trip.

Incredibly simple really - don't overthink it.

[effenberg0x0]

"hey you, go out with me!"

sudo go-out --with ${USER}

EDIT: Largely based on http://xkcd.com/149/

Regards,
Effenberg

[ki4jgt]

Watch the first 5 minutes :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXzboaIrK3Q

[hakermania]

80% is your confidence
10% is to be polite
10% is your look

[Swagman]

Feint heart ne'er won fair maiden

And it's true.

In other words.. MAN-UP

Despite what you may actually think, your looks has little to do with it. I've seen many a "drop dead gorgeous" girl MARRIED to "pug ugly dags" and it had nothing to do with wallet size !

Girls want the same as us but they are expected/demanded to be "lady-like" in their wants.

So.. Be yourself, be fun, be interesting, let her think (know) she'll really enjoy your company.

Good luck

[stalkingwolf]

Just over 32 years ago i went to work on a remote ranch, think 65 miles from a town of anysize. there was a store/bar/gas station 22 miles from the ranch.
Every one in the area came to this store at one time or another, the dances, bbqs etc. or just a soda on the way to town.
I had occasion to meet the Daughter of another rancher in the area on a couple occasions, but my head was elsewhere. they were planning a big 4th of july party with bbq and band and the whole enchilada. I offered to see a friend of mine and get a pig for them. In the mean time the woman that owned the store and a couple others had decided to play match maker and get the young lady and i together.

Long story short , we were to meet at the party. I waited and waited. I was just about to leave to go to town to get a bottle of tequilla ( there was this little puerto rican that would put St. Anthony on the fire.) When she arrived.
She walked through the door and into my arms. We will celebrate our 32nd anniversary thursday.

[Easy Limits]

"Would you like to be my future ex-wife/husband?"

[exploder]

Mikeb85, very well worded advice! That is the right way to look at things. It is better to try and fail than to wonder about what could have been.

[Peripheral Visionary]

My parents met at a grocery store and here's how my dad asked her out:

Dad: Excuse me, miss, can you tell me where I might find the pickled ostrich eggs?

Mom: What? Pickled what?

Dad: Pickled ostrich eggs! The guys at the firehouse said it's great.

Mom: I don't think there's any such thing.

Dad: Ohhhhh... Well, maybe you can think of something else we could have for dinner?

Mom: - - -

Dad: Together?

Mom: Let's just eat out somewhere nice!

[jockyburns]

Get your coat love,,, you've pulled. :lolflag:

[forrestcupp]

You should follow Boomhauer's big secret advice (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Kqk9xiJOjw). Just keep asking until one says yes. It's ok to get shot down by 26 different women as long as one gives you her number. :)


My parents met at a grocery store and here's how my dad asked her out:

Dad: Excuse me, miss, can you tell me where I might find the pickled ostrich eggs?

Mom: What? Pickled what?

Dad: Pickled ostrich eggs! The guys at the firehouse said it's great.

Mom: I don't think there's any such thing.

Dad: Ohhhhh... Well, maybe you can think of something else we could have for dinner?

Mom: - - -

Dad: Together?

Mom: Let's just eat out somewhere nice!

Nice. :)

[fontis]

Depends whether you know the person already or if you want to just randomly go on a first encounter.

If you don't know the person then you obviously need to start a conversation, "hi" is a good start.

If you know the person then spend some time with her. Ask her if she wants to do stuff.

In my opinion, you need to stop thinking of girls as girls, and more like a person you would like to get to know better. Why? Well first off because it alleviates any pressure that you might place on yourself and also removes any expectations. I mean, you just become interested in getting to know another human - it doesn't mean there's some romantic pressure involved. And you need to remember, that although physical attraction might be present, for you to actually like/love someone you need to get to know them first anyway.

So.. just be yourself.

[tartalo]

I'd advise against dinner or coffee, that's for married couples

- Make her/him laugh
- Make her/his heart beat faster (*)

(*) Our brain is quite idiot and often assigns to "love" the adrenaline fix and fast heart beating caused by anything like a rollercoaster, horror film, sport, dancing...

[Swagman]

I suppose you could always dance the "Funky Chicken" in front of her.

She'll either laugh (you've pulled) or think you're insane (you aint pulled)

[3rdalbum]

Whatever you do, don't delay. The longer you wait to ask her out, the more likely you are to get trapped in the "friendzone". Also, you don't want someone else to snatch her up before you do.

[prettysum]

My parents met at a grocery store and here's how my dad asked her out:

Dad: Excuse me, miss, can you tell me where I might find the pickled ostrich eggs?

Mom: What? Pickled what?

Dad: Pickled ostrich eggs! The guys at the firehouse said it's great.

Mom: I don't think there's any such thing.

Dad: Ohhhhh... Well, maybe you can think of something else we could have for dinner?

Mom: - - -

Dad: Together?

Mom: Let's just eat out somewhere nice!

Awww, cute love story. :popcorn:

[AllRadioisDead]

I don't really understand the whole 'asking someone out' thing. I mean, my past relationships all started from spending time with said person, and eventually we just knew we wanted to be together.

[malspa]

I don't really understand the whole 'asking someone out' thing. I mean, my past relationships all started from spending time with said person, and eventually we just knew we wanted to be together.

Good point. I actually don't recall ever asking anyone out. For me, it's always been like you said, I ended up being around the person and getting to know each other and by then there was no pressure in deciding to get together and do something.

I've always been too shy to "ask someone out," anyway. I mean, someone I don't know. I've tended to not even say much and kinda wait until I was very sure that we were both interested before really opening up.

Or until she asked me out. :)

Come to think of it, I'm probably the last person that should be trying to reply to the OP's question!

[Paqman]

Try talking to him/her/it. It's a bit weird to just ask someone out that you aren't able to have a conversation with. So just engage them in a conversation, and if it's going well there should be an opportunity to drop it in somewhere.

If it's someone who you've got mutual friends with then it might be a bit less intimidating to ask them if they're going to be at some even that others are going to, and make it clear that you'd like to see them there too. Then if you can try and get them on their own for a drink/whatever with you. Jumping straight into the "go on a date with me" thing is a bit of an awkward line to take IMO.

[forrestcupp]

Is it really a smart idea to come to a forum full of geeks and nerds for advice on how to ask someone out?

[3rdalbum]

My parents met at a grocery store and here's how my dad asked her out:

Dad: Excuse me, miss, can you tell me where I might find the pickled ostrich eggs?

...



My father met my mother on an organised tour of Europe. How did he catch her attention? Well, he was wearing a trench coat (over the top of his normal clothes) and he opened the coat to her as though he was a flasher! (I'll stress again: clothes underneath!)

That's how he caught her attention, but she only really was interested when they were sitting down to dinner at a restaurant with some more of the group. They had both ordered the same meal, but Dad's came first, so he just gave it to Mum.

The moral of the story: Be a gentleman.

[forrestcupp]

The moral of the story: Be a gentleman.

So being a gentleman trumps being a perv. :)

Another moral is that she obviously remembered what he did earlier and still became interested. ;)

[Mikeb85]

Is it really a smart idea to come to a forum full of geeks and nerds for advice on how to ask someone out?

Plenty of geeks and nerds are happily married. And plenty of computer people aren't geeks or nerds.

[Paqman]

Is it really a smart idea to come to a forum full of geeks and nerds for advice on how to ask someone out?

Every dog has his day. Even nerds get there eventually.

[BlinkinCat]

Every dog has his day. Even nerds get there eventually.

And so he is able to reproduce even more nerds - ;)

[forrestcupp]

Plenty of geeks and nerds are happily married. And plenty of computer people aren't geeks or nerds.

I've been happily married for almost 12 years now, but it wasn't because of my great skill in asking women out. ;)

[Paqman]

And so he is able to reproduce even more nerds - ;)

Indeed, I have one that just popped out a couple of weeks ago asleep in my lap right now!

He doesn't seem very interested in my operating system just yet, but there's plenty of time.

[BlinkinCat]

Indeed, I have one that just popped out a couple of weeks ago asleep in my lap right now!

He doesn't seem very interested in my operating system just yet, but there's plenty of time.

That's great - many congratulations - ):P

[AllRadioisDead]

Is it really a smart idea to come to a forum full of geeks and nerds for advice on how to ask someone out?

You don't have to be a geek to have an interest in technology.

[HermanAB]

Asking someone out is a very high tech problem nowadays. In eons gone by, you could just conk a girl over the head at the water hole and drag her to your cave, but not anymore.

[wojox]

Is it really a smart idea to come to a forum full of geeks and nerds for advice on how to ask someone out?

Right, it's like asking Helen Keller for driving lessons.

@ OP You need a Swagger Coach.

[josephmills]

ridiculousness just plain pure 100% ridiculousness


1) This is not a game.People are not pawns and in fact pawns are not bad things, If one think's that life is a game go play with other. You are wasting the time of the people that are serious.

2) If you are Thinking about asking a certain human out, Then it is to late, Stop thinking and start doing. The more time that you think about this ridiculousness, The more time that you take away from anything that could or should happen.

3) stop wasting are time and your's

4) grow a pair

5) ask the person out, Though I have had girls ask me out in the past. Bad mistake (by them) I would never go with a girl like that.(I like the hunt)

6) I don't buy girls flowers chocolate ect. To common think of something yourself , that is not about yourself. lol


7) If the person says no. then move on. It seems to me that people know when one person is attracted to another. there is nothing worse then losing a friend, because your other friend (that lives under a zipper) can not handle [him,her]self.

So I guess this is it. The person should have some clue that you like them, Unless you are that ridiculous that you can not even show affection. I mean If you are hanging out with Her/him all the time and you are also going places with him / her all the time. Then you are all ready doing what you want,

what is the big deal with formal ask-out's ? Never understood that and never will.

[AllRadioisDead]

wat

[HermanAB]

wat
Well, that is better than her running away screaming...

[Elfy]

I think it's time to let this drop down the pages now.

Thanks for keeping it light relief :)