View Full Version : Anybody willing to help proofread my paper?

February 28th, 2012, 09:41 AM
I am writing an article on How to create a secure and memorable password and need some help. If you can the link is here (https://docs.google.com/document/d/19v_B1-7oPmJbHZ6_j6J1a9DPC40oURm2ZLotVapIRg4/edit)

February 28th, 2012, 12:56 PM
I'm not really certain of who your audience is, so take or leave any of the following points:


You should write about how passwords are cracked / obtained, such as brute force and dictionary attacks etc. This will give context against what you state is a good / bad password.

You should write about cracking feasibility - a password that takes 100 years to crack, still technically can be cracked, but in 100 years will that even be useful?

You briefly mention that longer passwords take longer to crack but don't expand any more on that.

Footnote what a 'shoulder surfer' is, not everyone will understand it.

Summarize what a good password at the end.

The opening point about 500 bad passwords pretty much means nothing, because you haven't listed / linked them. (Also don't dictate to a reader; get rid of 'change it now'. A paper is to inform them)

The opening section is actually "common bad habits of creating passwords". None of them should start with "Do not".
Change them to present tense too, eg: "Using all lowercase or all uppercase letters."

Halfway down page 4 you put a '1.' for places to store passwords. There's no '2.'

Make a bigger point about the fact that security questions are the largest weak point of security here.

Do you have any good example of password security systems? (If your bank has an online login have a look at it - if there is anything useful to mention, you should)


When referencing sources you shouldn't ever really directly talk about them (XKCD reference).

Use the Harvard style of referencing.

The phrase 'in conclusion' should never be written unless it actually is the conclusion to your paper (top of page 3)

Get rid of a few 'Also's and throw in 'Furthermore', 'Moreover'

Ordered lists get numbered. Unordered lists get bullets.

All example passwords you use should be in single quotes.

Put the 'misconceptions of good passwords' After you have written about 'good passwords'

Get rid of as many self answered questions as possible, eg:

"Why should you use at least 1 of each? Itís because..."

should be:

"You should use at least one of each of these because..."

Any questions you do keep, make sure they are on their own line and not mixed into a paragraph

Most of the content is there. The way you write is as if you're talking to someone, which means you'd have no problem presenting this with an audience. However that style of writing doesn't copy directly into a paper.

Re-read the paper yourself, if a paragraph doesn't read as explained fact you should carefully consider re-wording it.

Ps: I'm not really sure if any of what I've said actually comes off as harsh - I'm not trying to be if it does, only trying to be useful.

Bucky Ball
February 28th, 2012, 01:22 PM
Article or assignment (for school or uni)?

Copper Bezel
February 28th, 2012, 01:23 PM
When referencing sources you shouldn't ever really directly talk about them (XKCD reference).
This depends on the style of paper. For mass audiences, it's preferred to introduce and explain a reference, particularly because there is often no references page to pick up the slack. Even in the MLA style used in the humanities, it's better to introduce a source in the sentence before referring to the references page; for example, "As humorously noted in the webcomic XKCD...."

Good advice otherwise, however, particularly on unexplained concepts and terms like "shoulder surfer."


All example passwords you use should be in single quotes.
This is also dependent on house style. For an academic essay, it's something to check the relevant style manual for.

February 28th, 2012, 05:56 PM
Thanks everyone that has taken a look at it; No this isn't for school or anything. It's gonna be for a blog post. But I want people to take my views on passwords seriously and I want them to read it to. I didn't want the bad grammar to drive anybody away or not take me seriously because of it.

So this is just a personal article.

I am thankful though and will be looking at all the comments.