If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

[lordofkhemenu]

Years ago I snagged this from the now defunct 32bitsonline.com. Even though it was written in '99, it still reflects today's attitudes and misconceptions:

By Anonymous
August 6, 1999
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

[cacofonix]

Haha not bad :D


cacofonix

[gw90se]

LOL, I liked it.

[Slapdash]

Bwhahaha very cool

[bluenova]

I'm sure many have see this before, but it's quite funny so had to post it............


UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.


Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...


Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.


Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.


Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.


Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.
When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

[beniwtv]

LOL

Rolling on the floor... :mrgreen:

[DeadEyes]

Linux Air
You board the plane still unable to believe that your getting your flight for free.
Having heard so much about how wonderful and safe the planes are it was just a matter of time before you tried it.
Your excitment builds as you strap yourself into the seat...
An hour later your still sitting on the runway. Looking around the other passengers seem just as confused as you as to why nothing is happening.
You leave the plane to get some sort of explaination. At the end of the run way a member of the ground crew is directing Linux Air flights into the air. After asking him whats wrong with your flight he simply replies "RTFM".
Disappointed you resign yourself to risking a Windows Air flight.

[woedend]

LOL..I like both version of Linux Air...but windows Air could be written as:
You walk through the airport and your plane is waiting for you, right in front of you - but you did not request it. But hey, its pretty and everyone else is already on board so might as well. You board the plane with no form of security check whatsoever. Everyone aboard the plane seems friendly but is a little pushy and in your face with niceties and safety precautions until you tell them to go away. Then they ask if you are sure if you want them to go away. Then a stewardess informs you that a newer version of tire is available because the version on the plane can and will explode because of build quality, causing nasty failure, so you say sure, not knowing exactly why or what is going on but you don't want to crash. You take off, everything is going great. You're listening to music, watching movies, mingling with the folks aboard. The man next to you slides a box over your way and whispers to you. You see the huge box on the floor with a red blinking button that says "Push me for a free ipod". You hear it ticking and know this is too good to be true but you really want an ipod so you push the button. The plane explodes and as you parachute slowly to the earth you think "This is all windows air fault"

[adam.tropics]

LOL..I like both version of Linux Air...but windows Air could be written as:
You walk through the airport and your plane is waiting for you, right in front of you - but you did not request it. But hey, its pretty and everyone else is already on board so might as well. You board the plane with no form of security check whatsoever. Everyone aboard the plane seems friendly but is a little pushy and in your face with niceties and safety precautions until you tell them to go away. Then they ask if you are sure if you want them to go away. Then a stewardess informs you that a newer version of tire is available because the version on the plane can and will explode because of build quality, causing nasty failure, so you say sure, not knowing exactly why or what is going on but you don't want to crash. You take off, everything is going great. You're listening to music, watching movies, mingling with the folks aboard. The man next to you slides a box over your way and whispers to you. You see the huge box on the floor with a red blinking button that says "Push me for a free ipod". You hear it ticking and know this is too good to be true but you really want an ipod so you push the button. The plane explodes and as you parachute slowly to the earth you think "This is all windows air fault"


....as you slowly descend into the blue ocean of death!

[Stealth]

....as you slowly descend into the blue ocean of death!

No no no! You almost had it, Blue Sea of Death...:D

[adam.tropics]

No no no! You almost had it, Blue Sea of Death...:D

same horse! lol

[xtacocorex]

[Technical Note]
Most aircraft are powered by embedded Linux on multiple flight computers because of their stability and the fact that it's a real-time operating system.

Every job I've applied to, at any one of the big Aerospace Companies, that has any bit of coding in it, usually requires knowledge of Linux.
[/End Technical Note]

Back to the OP, thats pretty good and very accurate. It was forgotten that sometimes Windows Air has no problems at all, it's completely random when it will fail.

[adam.tropics]

[Technical Note]
Most aircraft are powered by embedded Linux on multiple flight computers because of their stability and the fact that it's a real-time operating system.

Every job I've applied to, at any one of the big Aerospace Companies, that has any bit of coding in it, usually requires knowledge of Linux.
[/End Technical Note]....

...and yet they crash! The pilots were probably trained on microsoft flight sim!

[xtacocorex]

MS Flight Sim isn't bad. It's gotten a lot better over the years, but there are some things that I don't like about it.

Most crashes occur with General Aviation aircraft which don't have as sophisticated flight control systems or none at all.

I need to keep my degree in Aerospace Engineering out of my posts sometimes. :)

[adam.tropics]

Most crashes occur with General Aviation aircraft which don't have as sophisticated flight control systems or none at all.

I need to keep my degree in Aerospace Engineering out of my posts sometimes. :)

Forgive my ignorance....but...none at all? Suddenly I remember why I am still in Australia and haven't returned to the UK!

[TecnoVM64]

Hahaha, this one is good, a little bit old, but always good :D

[Brunellus]

Forgive my ignorance....but...none at all? Suddenly I remember why I am still in Australia and haven't returned to the UK!
General Aviation == all non-commercial flights. Private aircraft, for instance. In the most extreme case, this could mean, say, a Piper Cub being flown by an amateur pilot--not an awful lot of "flight control" there, other than some cables and pulleys. You can also count on a radio and enough instruments for flying under Visual Flight Rules. Nothing that would get you down in a zero-visibility, instrument-only situation.

Essentially--

General Aviation Aircraft : Home Desktop :: Jumbo Jet : Mainframe

The former crash a lot more than the latter, for many of the same reasons.

[adam.tropics]

Ah, thanks for explaining that...still staying here though, better weather!

[richbarna]

Ha Ha !! That made me laugh, I love the linux part and also woedend's windows contribution.

[mcduck]

I need to keep my degree in Aerospace Engineering out of my posts sometimes. :)
By the way, have you tried X-Plane? What do you think about it?

[RAV TUX]

pretty funny but there are airlines/OS's missing:

GNU Hurd/Hurd Air

BeOS/Be Airlines

AmigaOS/Amiga airlines

[Duppy]

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

[Engnome]

Classic. Hadn't read about XP airline before though...you wrote that part?

[Athanasius]

sudo aptitude install seat

[rocknrolf77]

sudo aptitude install seat

Maybe you have to add the seat to the repos first? :)

[rocknrolf77]

If we have this first : http://www.linux-watch.com/news/NS4586903228.html The problem should be corrected. :)

[ljpm]

sudo aptitude install seat

lmao :D :D :D :D :D

[FuturePilot]

sudo configure seat
Make sure you enable the seatbelt option:p

[rabid9797]

sudo configure seat
Make sure you enable the seatbelt option:p



cvs -d:pserver:customer@airways.org:/cvsroot co seat
cd seat19 D
./configure

[FuturePilot]

We're all forgetting something.

sudo apt-get install tray-table tray-table-data

[Hendrixski]

I shudder to think what customers have to do with the gentoo airplanes. "if it can fly, compile it"

[rabid9797]

i saw this on another forum and saw what some other people posted, some people did some Vista ones too:



OO let me do windows Vista

Vista Air
Just like Windows XP all the workers are dressed colorfully, the airport is exclusively Vista Air, expensive tickets and the aircraft are starship sized. everyone is eager to help provided that you pass security for that given moment, and every hall way is guarded by security officers validating your ticket. you get on the plane to discover that you need to upgrade your ticket if you want to sit, use the restroom, watch a movie or pretty much anything else, but atleast you get to fly all the way, unlike the poor people that have to be dragged along by ropes, or the people that got free tickets only to have thier seat taken after takeoff and kicked out of the plane a quarter in to the flight. The aircraft takes off but over runs the runway a little bit because the engines are made for the XP planes (the new engines will come later in an upgrade, but hey you're on Vista!). The fly is, well, got you there, after one of the engines continually stalled when the pilot activated the auto pilot made for XP (the upgrade will fix this too).


in reply to that post:


More like its the same plane as XP, only with a translucent fuselage. It also "borrows" several comfort and convenience features from MacOS airlines. It features passanger protection that asks you if you really want to use the bathroom or order the kocher meal. Stability is better over XP, though the engines will chug if the translucency fuselage runs into turbulence.


:lol:

[meng]

Seatomatix.

[rocknrolf77]

Seatomatix.

Ha ha, good one. No problem flying when we could just do a :
sudo aptitude install everything-that-we-would-need-for-a-good-flightomatix :guitar: ON (cool new smileys)

[FuturePilot]

Don't forget to

man seat

(Hey new smilies):P

[dbbolton]

you forgot to mention that you have to spend hundreds of dollars on innoculations before setting foot at any windows airport.

[floke]

Very funny.

Copied from here: http://www.zyra.org.uk/os-air.htm

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

OSX Air:

You enter a white terminal, and all you can see is a woman sitting in the corner behind a white desk, you walk up to get your ticket. She smiles and says "Welcome to OS X Air, please allow us to take your picture", at which point a camera in the wall you didn't notice before takes your picture. "Thank you, here is your ticket" You are handed a minimalistic ticket with your picture at the top, it already has all of your information. A door opens to your right and you walk through. You enter a wide open space with one seat in the middle, you sit, listen to music and watch movies until the end of the flight. You never see any of the other passengers. You land, get off, and you say to yourself "wow, that was really nice, but I feel like something was missing"

Windows Vista Airlines:

You enter a good looking terminal with the largest planes you have ever seen. Every 10 feet a security officer appears and asks you if you are "sure" you want to continue walking to your plane and if you would like to cancel. Not sure what cancel would do, you continue walking and ask the agent at the desk why the planes are so big. After the security officer making sure you want to ask the question and you want to hear the answer, the agent replies that they are bigger because it makes customers feel better, but the planes are designed to fly twice as slow. Adding the size helped achieve the slow fly goal.

Once on the plane, every passenger has to be asked individually by the flight attendants if they are sure they want to take this flight. Then it is company policy that the captain asks the passengers collectively the same thing. After answering yes to so many questions, you are punched in the face by some stranger who when he asked "Are you sure you want me to punch you in the face? Cancel or Allow?" you instinctively say "Allow".

After takeoff, the pilots realize that the landing gear driver wasn't updated to work with the new plane. Therefore it is always stuck in the down position. This forces the plane to fly even slower, but the pilots are used to it and continue to fly the planes, hoping that soon the landing gear manufacturer will give out a landing gear driver update.

You arrive at your destination wishing you had used your reward miles with XP airlines rather than trying out this new carrier. A close friend, after hearing your story, mentions that Linux Air is a much better alternative and helps.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

BSD Airways

You arrive at the airport to find only a terminal. You are given a series of incomprehensible instructions which eventually, after several wrong turns, take you to your plane. You discover that all the entrances and exits are firmly sealed, so that no unauthorised personnel can get aboard. After much ado, you are taken to your seat. The plane looks much the same as those used by Linux Air, but you are assured that it is much faster. Unfortunately the wireless radar isn't yet working, so the plane can't go anywhere. Embarassed, you return to Linux.

Beryl Air

After seeing great reviews of Beryl Air on YouTube you decide to give them a whirl. Upon arriving at the airport you are repeatedly warned that this particular mode of travel is not yet stable, and may crash unexpectedly. Undeterred, you sign the disclaimer and go inside. Before taking to the air you must undergo an extensive reconfiguration process which you are again warned could result in certain death. Having survived this you are then taken aboard a spaceship which transports itself into an alternative reality with multiple dimensions and new forms of gravity. Occassionally some of your fellow passengers are sucked into a parallel universe, never to be seen again. You enjoy the trip so much that you completely forget to do any work en route. Arriving at your destination you meet a friend from Vista Airlines who won't stop talking about a thing called 'Flip-3D'....

[Mazza558]

Tee hee!

Although this is an updated version of a previous anecdote, it's still funny. I like the vista section.

[rolando2424]

Windows Vista Airlines:
. After answering yes to so many questions, you are punched in the face by some stranger who when he asked "Are you sure you want me to punch you in the face? Cancel or Allow?" you instinctively say "Allow".



I think that will be on of the problems with the system Vista uses...

[karellen]

I knew about those facts for some time, anyway I still find them funny and clever :)

[EdThaSlayer]

I have seen this once before but they added a Vista section to it now. The vista joke is a good one I have to say. :D

[DoctorMO]

you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada

Har Har, windows xp was called Whistler in Betas for anyone non plussed as to why it would crash here.

Very funny.

[insane_alien]

lol i haven't seen the vista and OSX addition before.

[floke]

Couldn't resist adding a couple of my own...

[mrmonday]

I personally use Beryl air... :D

[BarfBag]

Some of these are old. Still funny, though. :)

[mykalreborn]

Ubuntu airlines

You get to a brown terminal where a large crowd is holding hands. They all wear brown uniforms and some of them even have brown hair. You wanted to catch the Vista Airlines flight because you've heard of the big airplanes they have, but once you see the people holding hands you're too curious to go on and ask them who they are.
They reply you that they're the crew of Ubuntu airlines: pilot,copilot, stewardesses, and the owner of the airlines himself; this makes you raise an eyebrow - you've never heard of a director doing the grunt work. You look a little more into this and just before you decide to go to the Vista flight anyways they start telling you what Ubuntu means.
They promise to ALWAYS give you free coffee and chocolate and they say they'll even give you a free coffee cup for you and some for your friends just to fly with them. You are truly amazed by this as you were used to crashing in Canada all the time, but can't help not saying that you don't like the brown. They tell you that you can make it any colour you want, and that the brown is for customers to relate their planes to cookies.
You get on the flight and after a very fast preparation, the pilot gets in his cabin - note that he is still holding hands and the door is a special one - and gets the plane airborne. You are given a brochure where it says that this new version of the plane is allways looking for trouble and that it's very fesity. This makes you raise the other eyebrow because you thought these planes were all about holding hands and eating cookies. Then you remember the coffee and understand where the jumpy attitude comes from.
Also you read that the chairs you sit in can have some really cool features, such as rotating it 360 degrees and seeing a cool picture in the background and wobbling when you move them. You want to activate the button to do all that but after you push it numerous times you look under it and see three letters: ATI. You curse and curse, but no one can do anything at all. Still, to make you feel better they hold your hand too and caress you until you fall asleep.
You close your eyes thinking how nice is this and you dream of Africa. At the end of the destination you want to get off, and you do thinking, i can't wait until they send me the coffee cups. And before you know it, you start annoying your friends about the lovely crew members and about the chocolate and cookies. They are of course jeallous because they payed 195 $ for punches in the face.

Just a little inspiration. :D
:guitar:

[karellen]

Ubuntu airlines

You get to a brown terminal where a large crowd is holding hands. They all wear brown uniforms and some of them even have brown hair. You wanted to catch the Vista Airlines flight because you've heard of the big airplanes they have, but once you see the people holding hands you're too curious to go on and ask them who they are.
They reply you that they're the crew of Ubuntu airlines: pilot,copilot, stewardesses, and the owner of the airlines himself; this makes you raise an eyebrow - you've never heard of a director doing the grunt work. You look a little more into this and just before you decide to go to the Vista flight anyways they start telling you what Ubuntu means.
They promise to ALWAYS give you free coffee and chocolate and they say they'll even give you a free coffee cup for you and some for your friends just to fly with them. You are truly amazed by this as you were used to crashing in Canada all the time, but can't help not saying that you don't like the brown. They tell you that you can make it any colour you want, and that the brown is for customers to relate their planes to cookies.
You get on the flight and after a very fast preparation, the pilot gets in his cabin - note that he is still holding hands and the door is a special one - and gets the plane airborne. You are given a brochure where it says that this new version of the plane is allways looking for trouble and that it's very fesity. This makes you raise the other eyebrow because you thought these planes were all about holding hands and eating cookies. Then you remember the coffee and understand where the jumpy attitude comes from.
Also you read that the chairs you sit in can have some really cool features, such as rotating it 360 degrees and seeing a cool picture in the background and wobbling when you move them. You want to activate the button to do all that but after you push it numerous times you look under it and see three letters: ATI. You curse and curse, but no one can do anything at all. Still, to make you feel better they hold your hand too and caress you until you fall asleep.
You close your eyes thinking how nice is this and you dream of Africa. At the end of the destination you want to get off, and you do thinking, i can't wait until they send me the coffee cups. And before you know it, you start annoying your friends about the lovely crew members and about the chocolate and cookies. They are of course jeallous because they payed 195 $ for punches in the face.

Just a little inspiration. :D
:guitar:

=D> nice job

[spinflick]

"You had to do what with the seat?" :lolflag:

[aysiu]

I merged this with a couple of other, similar threads.

[tehhaxorr]

Unix Air

You walk through a plain terminal which is nothing more than a long thin corridor, there are dozens of doors on either side, all with several locking mechanisms and an enormous manual beside each lock telling you how to configure the lock to enter, providing you have access rights. you get to the end of the corridor and see a large and sophisticated security door that must be walked through correctly or you aren't allowed in. You manage to get through the security door after reading a large man file, you exit the terminal and find yourself on the runway surrounded by group of hundreds of other people arguing about which type of plane to build. Upset, the large group splits off into smaller groups and begins working on a new plane that suits them best but some people still aren't happy and split off into even smaller groups. Some groups realize that they are building similar planes and merge to form a larger group, then have an argument and split into a smaller group. Your group finally finishes the plane and takes off, you are in the air when you decide to change the color of the seats and the shape of the wings, people climb outside and change everything without a hitch, you are amazed that you can change the plane without landing, unlike Windows AEROplanes.

[picpak]

I shudder to think what customers have to do with the gentoo airplanes. "if it can fly, compile it"

Gentoo Air

You arrive at the plane station, and seemingly see nothing but a huge area of pavement. Down the ways you can see a small do-it-yourself shop. You arrive there, and they give you an extremely large model plane and a 5000-page instruction manual. You're told to build the entire plane yourself. You get down and dirty within all three stages of the plane, and spend most of the time wondering how your plane can save .05 seconds off its trip rather than the production of the plane itself. Three days later you're finally finished. However, since the majority of the pieces were just recently released and the entire framework of the plane was built around these pieces, the entire plane falls apart! "No problem", you think. "I can do it all again; it'll pay off in the end."

Eventually, the entire plane is built and ready for flying; however, the other planes have already gone to and from their destinations fine times!

[FuturePilot]

Ubuntu airlines

You get to a brown terminal where a large crowd is holding hands. They all wear brown uniforms and some of them even have brown hair. You wanted to catch the Vista Airlines flight because you've heard of the big airplanes they have, but once you see the people holding hands you're too curious to go on and ask them who they are.
They reply you that they're the crew of Ubuntu airlines: pilot,copilot, stewardesses, and the owner of the airlines himself; this makes you raise an eyebrow - you've never heard of a director doing the grunt work. You look a little more into this and just before you decide to go to the Vista flight anyways they start telling you what Ubuntu means.
They promise to ALWAYS give you free coffee and chocolate and they say they'll even give you a free coffee cup for you and some for your friends just to fly with them. You are truly amazed by this as you were used to crashing in Canada all the time, but can't help not saying that you don't like the brown. They tell you that you can make it any colour you want, and that the brown is for customers to relate their planes to cookies.
You get on the flight and after a very fast preparation, the pilot gets in his cabin - note that he is still holding hands and the door is a special one - and gets the plane airborne. You are given a brochure where it says that this new version of the plane is allways looking for trouble and that it's very fesity. This makes you raise the other eyebrow because you thought these planes were all about holding hands and eating cookies. Then you remember the coffee and understand where the jumpy attitude comes from.
Also you read that the chairs you sit in can have some really cool features, such as rotating it 360 degrees and seeing a cool picture in the background and wobbling when you move them. You want to activate the button to do all that but after you push it numerous times you look under it and see three letters: ATI. You curse and curse, but no one can do anything at all. Still, to make you feel better they hold your hand too and caress you until you fall asleep.
You close your eyes thinking how nice is this and you dream of Africa. At the end of the destination you want to get off, and you do thinking, i can't wait until they send me the coffee cups. And before you know it, you start annoying your friends about the lovely crew members and about the chocolate and cookies. They are of course jeallous because they payed 195 $ for punches in the face.

Just a little inspiration. :D
:guitar:
That was absolutely great! The part about the ATI drivers made me Lol:lolflag:

[SunnyRabbiera]

A few linux air variations:

Debian Air:
You walk into the airport utterly surprised that everything around you is sold for free and is shared heavily.
There is a great repository of flights, custom tailored to each platform to land on.
You go to the consession stand while waiting for your flight to start, as the only problem with debian air is that it takes a bit to get the planes configured.
You go to the cafee and you are dissipointed they no longer sell that popular drink called "firefox"
but that iceweasel drink is said to taste the same without the added sugar.
You finally get on the plane and you ask the stuwardess to get you something to eat.
you are apt to find the great selection of choices, and are amazed that the plane also has great repositories as well!
But you find yourself confused by the menu, and wonder why those other linux flights have some proprietary drinks and foods but debian air doesnt.
Also you find your plane can become unstable at times and you find yourself worried about that one stuward named Sid.

Fedora Air:
Still as brash as Redhat Air, everyone wears a blue hat now instead of a red one and you are given a sense of perfessionalisim.
But find that on the flight that the Ready Package Meals are dependant on others, that you cannot have the soup without needing water, you cannot have the chicken without the bones.
Still you get pretty decent support, not as much as you have wanted but it was a decent flight... but those meals certainly didnt make you go "yum!"

Sabayon air:
Nice beautiful planes, the atmosphere is filled with a sense of welcome.
Getting a ticket and onto the plane is very comforting, but then you hear the planes are based on gentoo's planes.
No worries though, you find that your flight is smooth and getting what you want is just as easy as it should be.
The wine tastes bad but the flight was good! (I always had wine issues in sabayon thus why I steer clear of it for now)

Mepis Air:
The colors and looks of the planes might not be your thing, but the support is wonderful.
You get nice replies to your questions and you find the pilot is a very nice bloke.
It was once a varient of Debian air but now is based on ubuntu's repository, but it is just as good as you know those ubuntu repositories are just as vast as debians.
You find the menu a bit easier to understand then debians, the packages are searchable and easy to manage.
Your seat is comfortable, the colors a bit tacky but the egypt theme makes you feel like a pharoh.

PClinux Air:
a nice growing airline, it is still not the best out there but each time you get on the flight feels better and better.
You feel more like you are in the sea then in the air, you dont get seasick though but you can see that Pclinux's repository still needs a few more meals.

Suse air:
The recent deal with Microsoft air has you worried, you look all over in worry for people who want to ask you to cancel or allow.
you get on the plane, the meals are alright, but getting new ones are a bit tough.
You see a menu called You Ask Suse Travels, you see what kind of foods you can eat but you find that a lot of them depend on other meals like fedora air.
Your flight is alright, but you still look around for that guy from Microsoft airlines in pure terror.

[LaRoza]

Go to www.computerjokes.net for loads of similar jokes and including the one above.

[pupeeler]

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.
When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"


Oh, then I would like two 1st class tickets on Linux Air in hopes of getting a couch.

[red_five]

Don't forget, on any of the Windows airlines, in order to kill the engines at the end of the flight, you have to hit the starter button. The multi-function display will ask if you want to shut down, then ask for confirmation. 5 minutes later, after lots of dialogs asking you to force-close the flaps and kill the radios because they didn't shut off in the time alotted, the engines run out of gas and quit violently, causing chaos in the passenger and cargo compartments.

[Sporkman]

:lol:

[kevin11951]

Found this on Urban Dictionary, I know it has been said before, but there have been a lot of new Ubuntu users since the last one was posted, so here goes... again.



If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

Sorry, this is the best analogy on the subject of linux, has been around for a long time, and is anonymous.

BTW, linux is the kernel, GNU/GPL software make up the rest of the OS and apps. GNU/Linux is the way lawyers will say it in court.

[kevin11951]

By the way, that linux analogy is good, but not great, see if anyone else can do better here. so ya, race to the best analogy!

[ibuclaw]

It's called Linux Poker...
Everyone can see everyone else's cards, can use each others cards in a hand, and at the end of the game, everyone wins!
Except Bill Gates, who is the Joker...

[zmjjmz]

Can I make a Vista one?

Aw hell:
Windows Vista Air.
As you drive into the parking lot for the airport, you see many people complaining about how they'll never go to Windows Vista Air and will always use Windows XP Air because WVA just plain sucks. Nonetheless, you go in. The ticket counters are stlish, but not the way you want them to be, and the attendants are friendly, but tend to use to much market speak, as if you came to the airport to buy the ticket. When you get to the waiting room, you have to wait quite a bit. If you're older than 20, you may not be able to get on the plane. The weak are also not allowed on the plane. The planes themselves, while beautiful and snazzy, are monstrosities. In the plane, you don't see the hidden cameras spying on you and reporting everything back to the headquarters of Windows * Air. The headphones you brought from the last Windows XP Air flight don't work, and every time you move past a seat, a speaker asks you if you're sure you want to do that. You brought a DVD with you to watch on the flight, but for some inexplicable reason, it's not at the definition it was advertised at. There are some really hard games that the really young and very fit can play, but everyone else is left bored with extremely hard versions of Solitaire. You notice that it's more stable than the older Windows * Air flights, but it takes 3 times longer to take off. When you land, everyone but the really young and fit are exhausted, and these people say that it was the best Windows * Air plane yet. You swear that you are going to fly Mac Air or Linux Air next time.

[AlexBellisBrown]

Heres mine;

Ubuntu air.

A division of Linux Air, Ubuntu is made to serve human beings. Our arrival at the airport was smooth, check-in was fast, and everybody working at Ubuntu were very very friendly. The most surprising thing is that they give the ticket FREE!!! Any questions you have, all you have to do is ask. Looking out at the plane from the lounge, the plane looked new, i was told they normally renew them every six months. Bording the plane went smoothly, although the DVD player in our aisle did not work, we were offered the chance to change aisle, if the country we were taking off from allowed it. The plane flew very fast, and we had very little turbulance. Most peoples headphones worked without problem, and those who didn´t asked questions to the crew, who helped to get them working. We were also told we could use our iPods for the full duration of the flight. Upon arrival at our destination, we found the exit quickly, and we were waved off the plane, everyone smiling. Everyone should at least fly with them once, after all, it is free! :DDD

[aysiu]

Merged with similar thread.

[sharkinfested]

Apple sues each airline sighting an infringement on their MacBook Air name.

Ubuntu Air changes the color of its planes and becomes the new distro: We’llshootyoutotheroutetuthatsuitsyou

[AlexBellisBrown]

Also i forgot to mention that everyone at Ubuntu air speaks YOUR language.

[zmjjmz]

And when you fly into Soviet Russia, YOUR language speaks Ubuntu Air.

[Frak]

Heres mine;

Ubuntu air.

A division of Linux Air, Ubuntu is made to serve human beings. Our arrival at the airport was smooth, check-in was fast, and everybody working at Ubuntu were very very friendly. The most surprising thing is that they give the ticket FREE!!! Any questions you have, all you have to do is ask. Looking out at the plane from the lounge, the plane looked new, i was told they normally renew them every six months. Bording the plane went smoothly, although the DVD player in our aisle did not work, we were offered the chance to change aisle, if the country we were taking off from allowed it. The plane flew very fast, and we had very little turbulance. Most peoples headphones worked without problem, and those who didn´t asked questions to the crew, who helped to get them working. We were also told we could use our iPods for the full duration of the flight. Upon arrival at our destination, we found the exit quickly, and we were waved off the plane, everyone smiling. Everyone should at least fly with them once, after all, it is free! :DDD
But when they renew the plane every six months, there seems to be some unwanted weight added to some people, and for others they must ride a new plane entirely. Providing entirely new bags and all if they didn't get the additional insurance.

[Barrucadu]

Arch Air - What plane? You have a series of nuts, bolts and lumps of metal in front of you, and a very long guide to help you.

[TBOL3]

Linux from Scratch:

You can either buy the ticket for $20, or print one out yourself. They ask you to buy the ticket to support the makers of it. You are surprised to see that your ticket is 300 pages long. You arrive at the terminal. To find out that they expected you to be running another linux based airline. They then help you get set up with your own workspace, and tell you how to open and close the door, so you can fly your ordinary flight while building your own air plane. You say, "I'm such a nerd," as you open up your ticket, and begin to build your own air plane.

Your own OS.

You deside that no other plane is good enough for you, so you deside to build your own. After months to years of work (depending on how much time you put into it each day, and how much you already know about building your own air plane), it's finally done. You take a look at your handwork and, wow it's ugly. Some people take the time to make it look nice, others just say "Meh, it flies." You manage to take a few friends out on your plane, but they inevitably go back to some bigger company. If you're made an especially good plane, microsoft will send a spy to check it out, they will then patent the idea, and sevreal years later, sue you for steeling their intellectual property. You tell the monkey man to go shave his head¸ and he crashes as he realizes that he has no hair. After all that work, your plane falls apart.

[cardinals_fan]

Slack-Jet: an empty hull and a stack of cash. Go get your own components, and make sure you handle all dependencies!

[Black Mage]

Leopard Air

You walk into the terminal and you feel like your surrounded by the clone army from Star Wars. Everyone is wearing a black shirt, cacky pants and an ear piece. As you make your way to purchase your ticket, a simple yet thought provoking tune starts playing and a giant mac vs pc sign appears in front of you. The floor opens up and one of the clone army convinces you into buying a $2000 ticket, double the price of any other airline but guarentees that the iPod rebate with this purchase is worth it. As you are making you way to the plane, you notice apples acclaimed new features of having multiple airline viewing windows when you could have sworn you've seen this feature on Linux for the past 7 years. As you arrive to what you thought was going to be the flight, its actually a glass tubular device. You are forced in and when asked is this safe, how does it work, and what is it, you are told nicely that everything is under control. In a flash you arrive at your destination, unsure if your $2000 experience was worth it.

[Helios1276]

Edited/deleted ..long story

[-grubby]

Sorry to say, but this is old hat. Still funny though.

[swoll1980]

Vista would be like flight 180 in the Final Destination movie, you see the disaster coming, but no one will listen to you so they get burnt in the wreckage.

[schauerlich]

Old copypasta is old

[Helios1276]

Old copypasta is old

then don't eat it, have some popcorn instead :popcorn:

[Cap'n Skyler]

can you imagine a trip top mars....with windows running the ship's computers......wow.
i'll stay home then....
what does nasa use for its computing on space craft?

[Helios1276]

Like I said when I started that thread, I figured that might be old. I'd rather have the thread closed then tacked onto an older one and look like a dumbass who couldn't read a thread ...

[-grubby]

Like I said when I started that thread, I figured that might be old. I'd rather have the thread closed then tacked onto an older one and look like a dumbass who couldn't read a thread ...

It makes more sense to merge than close it, this thread isn't really worthy of closing

[Helios1276]

It makes more sense to merge than close it, this thread isn't really worthy of closing

Not even at the request of the person who opened it? I find that attitude in bad taste .

[TBOL3]

I say merge it, but if you don't want to look stupid, make a note of the merging in your post. Put in bold, the following is from a different thread that has been merged. Or something like that.

[YaroMan86]

I love these. They may be old, but they're gold.

I love the whole "you have to do what with the seat?" line.

[LaRoza]

Not even at the request of the person who opened it? I find that attitude in bad taste .

I see it has been already merged. Unmerging is possible (but not easily).

I don't know who merged it, but I am sure whoever did would have followed your request. We almost always do what the OP wants (except in the case of an OP wanting a support thread closed or deleted when the problem is solved)

[Helios1276]

but I am sure whoever did would have followed your request.

Shoot first ask questions later, in this instance.

[LaRoza]

Shoot first ask questions later, in this instance.

Merging was probably just the best thing to do at the time. Locking a thread is "stronger" than merging.

[clanky]

Ubuntu air

You arrive at the terminal to be told that the terminal is not needed in Ubuntu air, you go to the GUI check in area and find that your particular flight is not have built in support, you ask for help and are re-directed to the terminal where you blindly follow instructions and eventually get checked in.

You wait to board with loads of people who are really happy that they are not giving their money to "*******" airlines anymore, then they board the plane and complain that it is not like their old windows plane. They then start repainting the plane to make it look like a Windows XP plane.

Eventually the windows airlines fans manage to get a menu that looks just like windows and find out that if they just have some wine then they can even have the same movies that they had on windows. they are now really happy that their plane is just like a windows plane and start looking down their noses at anyone who flies with windows air.

The plane flies after some bits which have been reverse engineered from other airlines are added and everyone goes home with a warm fuzzy feeling, but most of them still have a dual check in system in case they fancy going back to windows air.

[Koori23]

MS Flight Sim isn't bad. It's gotten a lot better over the years, but there are some things that I don't like about it.

Most crashes occur with General Aviation aircraft which don't have as sophisticated flight control systems or none at all.

I need to keep my degree in Aerospace Engineering out of my posts sometimes. :)


I totally agree with this statement. I'm just trained to fly Cessna 172's and I'm not instrument rated (can't fly at night). But our flight plans aren't as detailed, our planes aren't as technologically capable (Higher risk of mid-air crash), we also tend to fly lower to the ground. If you're at 20,000 feet and you're coasting (say, an engine failure).. You do have some time to plan your landing a bit. But If my Cessna has an engine failure at 1500ft during final approach, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

[amtur_poet]

BSD Airlines

The only good planes available are the airline's maintenence planes, and you fly with all the mechanics and staff.

Amiga Air

Once a big airline, now just run out of some guy's private landing strip. Nice to ride, but only 1 destination is available.

BeOS Jets

All the flight staff wear artsy clothes and the plane has a weird paint job. There's an in-flight movie, but it's one that's always on TV, anyways. The plane is old and doesn't look too great, but you saw a single mechanic trying to make repairs too it before takeoff.

[yamfox]

My Version of Ubuntu Air.

Crashed in Canada, I needed a quick flight to get where I was going in the first place. I went into the aiport, and noticed the brown, orange, and red interior. The lady in the front desk said "Welcome to Ubuntu airlines. Tell me your destination and I will arrange a flight for you." I told her I needed a flight for Philly, and she asked me which package I wanted, of which there was 3 to choose. She told me package one was the default, and it put me on a moderetly fast plane that would be rather easy to use. package two put me on a much easier plane where I would have to do next to nothing, but the plane might be delayed, especially if riding on an older plane. Package three was extremely fast, but only easy for people who have used package one several times. I chose package two, and I instantly noticed the interior change to a freindly shade of blue and silver. She gave me my ticket and I walked down the hall. I noticed she never asked me for money, but I just kept on walking. Upon boarding my plane, the flight attendents, Marcos Adept and Sarah Kwin, escorted me to a seat with an entertainment system. I browsed through the videos, and upon trying to open one, Marcos came up and made sure I was from a country that allowed the video to play. He then put a cord in the seat and put the other end into a a large box that said "DATABASE" on it. After the machine was done doing it's stuff, I could watch the movie. After that, nothing else went wrong and when I got off I simply walked out of the airport.

[lisati]

My Version of Ubuntu Air.

Crashed in Canada, I needed a quick flight to get where I was going in the first place. I went into the aiport, and noticed the brown, orange, and red interior. The lady in the front desk said "Welcome to Ubuntu airlines. Tell me your destination and I will arrange a flight for you." I told her I needed a flight for Philly, and she asked me which package I wanted, of which there was 3 to choose. She told me package one was the default, and it put me on a moderetly fast plane that would be rather easy to use. package two put me on a much easier plane where I would have to do next to nothing, but the plane might be delayed, especially if riding on an older plane. Package three was extremely fast, but only easy for people who have used package one several times. I chose package two, and I instantly noticed the interior change to a freindly shade of blue and silver. She gave me my ticket and I walked down the hall. I noticed she never asked me for money, but I just kept on walking. Upon boarding my plane, the flight attendents, Marcos Adept and Sarah Kwin, escorted me to a seat with an entertainment system. I browsed through the videos, and upon trying to open one, Marcos came up and made sure I was from a country that allowed the video to play. He then put a cord in the seat and put the other end into a a large box that said "DATABASE" on it. After the machine was done doing it's stuff, I could watch the movie. After that, nothing else went wrong and when I got off I simply walked out of the airport.
Nice account of your adventures!

[dragos240]

Anyone see this? http://www.zyra.org.uk/os-air.htm



UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

OSX Air:

You enter a white terminal, and all you can see is a woman sitting in the corner behind a white desk, you walk up to get your ticket. She smiles and says "Welcome to OS X Air, please allow us to take your picture", at which point a camera in the wall you didn't notice before takes your picture. "Thank you, here is your ticket" You are handed a minimalistic ticket with your picture at the top, it already has all of your information. A door opens to your right and you walk through. You enter a wide open space with one seat in the middle, you sit, listen to music and watch movies until the end of the flight. You never see any of the other passengers. You land, get off, and you say to yourself "wow, that was really nice, but I feel like something was missing"

Windows Vista Airlines:

You enter a good looking terminal with the largest planes you have ever seen. Every 10 feet a security officer appears and asks you if you are "sure" you want to continue walking to your plane and if you would like to cancel. Not sure what cancel would do, you continue walking and ask the agent at the desk why the planes are so big. After the security officer making sure you want to ask the question and you want to hear the answer, the agent replies that they are bigger because it makes customers feel better, but the planes are designed to fly twice as slow. Adding the size helped achieve the slow fly goal.

Once on the plane, every passenger has to be asked individually by the flight attendants if they are sure they want to take this flight. Then it is company policy that the captain asks the passengers collectively the same thing. After answering yes to so many questions, you are punched in the face by some stranger who when he asked "Are you sure you want me to punch you in the face? Cancel or Allow?" you instinctively say "Allow".

After takeoff, the pilots realize that the landing gear driver wasn't updated to work with the new plane. Therefore it is always stuck in the down position. This forces the plane to fly even slower, but the pilots are used to it and continue to fly the planes, hoping that soon the landing gear manufacturer will give out a landing gear driver update.

You arrive at your destination wishing you had used your reward miles with XP airlines rather than trying out this new carrier. A close friend, after hearing your story, mentions that Linux Air is a much better alternative and helps.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

[Pasdar]

nice :D

[schauerlich]

Ancient joke is ancient.

[JillSwift]

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
You tell 10 friends about LinuxAir. Over the next few months, they all give it a shot.

Four come back impressed - once switches over right away and the others use LinuxAir and XPAir too, saying that XPAir has better in-flight games.

Three couldn't get thier seat to work, even when the other passengers tried to help. One was annoyed and a bit dismayed when told he didn't really need his seat.

Two were mauled by their seat while in-flight. A few of the other passengers scoffed at them for not understanding their seats. They go back to AeroAir, saying that at least when the plane explodes no one blames them.

One is never heard from again. :o

:D

[SomeGuyDude]

Hurd Air: Everyone keeps telling you how totally amazing the flight is going to be, but whenever you try and book a flight they tell you the grand opening got delayed by another ten years.

[dragos240]

Hurd Air: Everyone keeps telling you how totally amazing the flight is going to be, but whenever you try and book a flight they tell you the grand opening got delayed by another ten years.

Lulz.

[NoaHall]

ReactOS Air -
Uses a engine built from scratch so it can run on the same fuel and same controls as Windows XP Air, but something went wrong, so now the engine breaks down often, and they forgot to add the wings..

[jrothwell97]

OpenVMS Air: The tunnel to the plane is very, very narrow. The plane is very fast, but somewhat expensive, and when you return home you find your wife has left you for the postman.

Electric Typewriter Airways: You arrive at the airport, get on the train, wait for the train to arrive at your destination, alight, and leave the destination airport. The train is very fast and very convenient, but it's not a plane.

[CherylMPaine]

An oldie - but still gets a laugh out of me. Remember: patch those engines!

[hellion0]

Makes me wonder what Windows 7 Air is like...

[FiveSidedPoly]

One is never heard from again. :o


Oh Snap! :shock:

[Sealbhach]

Google Chrome Air, you spend all your time in the clouds and never land.

.

[Skripka]

Google Chrome Air, you spend all your time in the clouds and never land.

.

The planes also perpetually are labeled "Beta".

[JillSwift]

Google Chrome Air, you spend all your time in the clouds and never land.

.


The planes also perpetually are labeled "Beta".

Occasionally, passenger luggage goes missing. Sometimes it returns. Once in a while, people suspect their luggage is being rifled.