The parenting MEGA thread - :)

[fatality_uk]

So I am a dad with exactly one week and three days experience. When I say experience, I mean blindly stumbling through most of the challenges put in front of me so far.

Just wondered if anyone feels like sharing pearls of wisdom, stories, ponderings & musings about being a parent and/or grandparent. Doesn't have to be babies, toddlers and teenagers alike, after all, I have all that to come.

[nothingspecial]

If you ever have more than one, never promise to do something for one that you can't do for the other.

Son 1 was predicted awful grades at school. Father said I'll give you £100 for an A grade and £50 for a B grade (knowing his cash was fairly safe.)
It worked, instead of the predicted plethora of E and F grades Son 1 got one A grade and all C grades apart from that. Father handed over £100 pounds happy in the knowledge that it was money well spent.

Two years later son2 gets nine A grades and says to father "That will be £900 please :) " :shock:

I was one of those sons but I have remembered that while bringing up my own two.

[whiskeylover]

Irrespective of how much you freak out, remember that babies are inherently parent-proof. Meaning, humans have been having kids for thousands of years now, and that too without the aid of Parenting books, magazine, classes etc. You're going to be okay : )

[sanderd17]

Irrespective of how much you freak out, remember that babies are inherently parent-proof. Meaning, humans have been having kids for thousands of years now, and that too without the aid of Parenting books, magazine, classes etc. You're going to be okay : )

There is nothing difficult about having kids. But it's difficult to have kids on who you can be proud.

I'm not a father (yet), but I'm going to follow this post. It can be interesting to hear the experiences of nerds with their kids.

[grahammechanical]

As someone who does not have any children but who takes notice of other people's kids may I add?

It does not matter where you are from, what the culture is or race you are, all babies are the same. They are all babies. It is a beautiful thing. It shows that we are all human.

Do not forget to notice the joy or the happiness that comes from helping a baby grow and develop as a person. Your child (you do not say it is a boy or a girl) will grow up believing everything that you say. He/she will trust you.

You will have great fun helping them to develop a sense of humour. Teach your child truth and they will continue to trust you. Teach them to think and to reason. Protect them from being fooled.

Regards.

[Paqman]

So I am a dad with exactly one week and three days experience.

Congratulations! Babies are awesome.

Look after the mum, the first few weeks are a real grind, especially if she's breastfeeding. Being on-call every two hours, round the clock day after day is not fun. She'll appreciate every little extra thing you can do for her a million times over. Although she will probably be way too tired and fed up to thank you for it!

My top tip for geek dads: the Android app "Just Noise". Tiny babies love white noise, and having something in your pocket to sooth them with is great. Worked a treat with my little girl. She also liked the sound of the extractor fan in the kitchen, but that's somewhat less portable.

[fatality_uk]

Thanks all. Some good advice in there :)
I think I might try the white noise app when I get back home :)

[forrestcupp]

First of all, congratulations.

One important thing I've learned is to pick your fights. If you discipline a kid over every single little thing, they'll think all wrongs are equal and they won't take you seriously when they are about to do something really dangerous. If something is merely an annoyance and not completely dangerous or disrespectful, sometimes you'll be better off to let it go to save your own sanity and so the child will understand when you are serious about something.

Another thing is to never discipline out of anger or emotions. No matter how small the child is, that child can survive a few minutes by itself for you to go in the other room and calm down if you need to. We discipline for the safety and training of a child because we love them, not because we're angry.

Other than that, when the excitement and newness wears off, try to remember to enjoy your child and not look at raising your child as a chore. It's hard sometimes, but since I've had kids, I'd never want to go back to not having them.

One thing I've learned about babies is that it's a lot easier to change your own baby's diapers than some other kid's diapers. ;)

Also, when you've gone a while with a lot of sleepless nights, be encouraged that this phase doesn't last forever and time flies. Before you know it, you'll be sending your baby off to school.

[fatality_uk]

I tried the white noise app last night!! If I didn't know better, I would have said she looked up at me as if to say "What the heck is that noise?"

OK question, how long before they settle into a routine? I have been trying to ensure she is fed and put to bed for the same time daily.

[nothingspecial]

OK question, how long before they settle into a routine? I have been trying to ensure she is fed and put to bed for the same time daily.

They are all different I'm afraid. It's particularly difficult with your first child because you haven't got a clue what you're doing.

I remember spending the first few months walking round the block trying to get my first son off to sleep....

...then the next year or so trying to keep him awake when he was in the pushchair so he'd sleep when he was supposed to.

Right I'm going to log on to mumsnet to ask which options to use when compiling a specific experimental kernel :p

[fatality_uk]

They are all different I'm afraid. It's particularly difficult with your first child because you haven't got a clue what you're doing.

I remember spending the first few months walking round the block trying to get my first son off to sleep....

...then the next year or so trying to keep him awake when he was in the pushchair so he'd sleep when he was supposed to.

Right I'm going to log on to mumsnet to ask which options to use when compiling a specific experimental kernel :p

I am guessing that's the first time that "Mumsnet" and "experimental kernel" have been used in the same sentence!! :D

[thatguruguy]

I tried the white noise app last night!! If I didn't know better, I would have said she looked up at me as if to say "What the heck is that noise?"

OK question, how long before they settle into a routine? I have been trying to ensure she is fed and put to bed for the same time daily.

I used to sing my kids to sleep by walking around holding them. For whatever reasons, Simon & Garfunkel and Lyle Lovett songs worked the best. It seems as though the deep voice plus rhythmic sounds reminds them of being in the womb, or something. Plus, it's kind of nice for the dad, as well.

The schedule thing just kind of works itself out over time. The key is that you have to be consistent. In fact, consistency is the key to a lot of things you'll do as a parent.

[fatality_uk]

thatguruguy, she does like walking and singing. The wheels on the bus go round and round is her (my) favourite right now. At 4am, that's the only song I can remember lol :D

[nothingspecial]

I am guessing that's the first time that "Mumsnet" and "experimental kernel" have been used in the same sentence!! :D

This thread is google's top result :)

[Paqman]

OK question, how long before they settle into a routine?

Not for a few weeks yet, unfortunately. Give it a month or so and if you still can't see a pattern emerging start keeping a diary of sleeps, feeds, etc. It might just be that you haven't spotted the pattern.

[fatality_uk]

I see a cross over thread coming

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/geeky_stuff/a1298325-Anyone-know-anything-about-Linux

[a2j]

parenting is not easy. I have two boys, oldest is 3 and 1/2 years. still learning myself how to become and better parent. kids need your free time, all of it. good balance between work and home is a must.

[forrestcupp]

OK question, how long before they settle into a routine? I have been trying to ensure she is fed and put to bed for the same time daily.It usually takes 2-3 months. Sometimes longer, depending on the child. When you switch your kid from a baby bed to a toddler bed that they can get out of, all routines are out the door. ;)

Right now I'm listening to my 2 year old stomping around, playing, and shouting, while he's supposed to be taking a nap.

[Megaptera]

With our first child Mrs.Megaptera used to visit the doc for any minor cough, splutter or burp. Funnily enough the doc or nurse always said "Is this your first child?" They knew what first time parenting could be like!
When our daughter arrived two years later, well... she took up sword swallowing and fire walking and free style climbing before we even noticed !!!!

The time goes so fast though, now they are both in secondary school I can't see where 13 years have gone!

Take loads of photos - you can't have too many to look back on. We've many years worth that come up randomly as screensavers on the family PC - all bring back memories and spark discussions.

[wirepuller134]

Most of ours are grown, we only have 2 left, out youngest daughter 16, and our son 20 who will always live with us until we are not here, then with one of his sisters. We had 4 of our own and 2 we adopted. The main things that pop out in my mind, as stated earlier consistency in all aspects(discipline, eating times, play so fourth) and the other spending time with them. Our philosophy is simple, if you don't spend time with them while they are growing up (remember your hobbies might not be theirs), they will have no reason to spend time with you after they are grown. So get ready for all kinds of things you might not have ever done. Skydiving comes to mind here..........that is a day I will never forget, neither will her mom.

[IWantFroyo]

Congratulations! :)

The biggest piece of advice I can give you, although you might not have to use it for a while, is to always keep your cool. Kids learn from their mistakes when you gently talk to them, but if you yell, the majority of them go and sulk in a corner, and do the same thing two days later (at least, from my experience).

[Docaltmed]

Everybody is going to tell you this, but you won't understand it until it is too late:

When you're a dad, the days are long, but the years are short.

I just sent #1 off to college. I would swear on my life that it wasn't more than two weeks ago that she was grabbing my paw with her little hand and meandering to the playground with me.

Cherish. Every. Minute. This child is a wonderful, terrific, terrifying gift from the universe to you. Enjoy every second with him/her, because you will soon discover that though the seconds number in the millions, the days are far too few.

[whiskeylover]

thatguruguy, she does like walking and singing. The wheels on the bus go round and round is her (my) favourite right now. At 4am, that's the only song I can remember lol :D

I have the Playtime Date CD continuously playing in my car stereo to an extent that one day I found myself head-banging to "Itsy Bitsy Spider" with my window rolled down. The guy in the next car must have though I was crazy.

[Paqman]

when you're a dad, the days are long, but the years are short.


+1000

[Practical]

Being a parent is the toughest the world can give. Good luck!
Remember: Babies = cute, toddlers = sweet, school age = interesting and teen = ?.. hehe.. :KS





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[satanselbow]

OK question, how long before they settle into a routine? I have been trying to ensure she is fed and put to bed for the same time daily.

My eldest - now 14 - slept (like a baby!) from day 1. Put him in his cot and out go the lights.

My 2nd didn't sleep until she was 3 - and that is not "didn't sleep through the night" that is "DIDN'T SLEEP" If she went off for more than 90 min we thought we'd won the lottery.

Moral of this tale is... erm... they are all different - and what works for 1 might not work for another so be open minded and flexible as to routines/rituals at bedtime.

We now have 4 and 2 halves children (last 2 were twins) and have survived thus far :lol:

Remember that potential parenting problems never really go away - they just get more expensive :D

Enjoy it while they are young - you'll look back and laugh one day... either that or sue them for loss of sleep ;)

[fatality_uk]

So after our second visit to hospital due to the fact she wasn't feeding well, it turns out that "some" babies, namely mine, require a very specific set of bottle/teat combination.

Nothing medically wrong, just she doesn't LIKE the bottle & teats we bought. There's a few hundred £ I will be asking back from her when she is a top lawyer making £ millions :)

ANOTHER THING!!!!! I am sure many have had this happen. You worry like crazy because she is crying, wont eat, small positing due to a bit of reflux. You drive to your doctors or emergency room, and the INSTANT you walk through the doors, calm and peace falls gently onto your child and that angelic smile crosses her face as if to say "GOTCHA DAD!!"

You explain to the medical staff: "No honestly, she was bright red, very troubled" etc..." :)

[Elfy]

You'll find that all the people who've had more than one child will recognise you almost immediately as a first time parent :)