Linux Gangsta Rap

[philipacamaniac]

I posted this to a Linux forum a few years ago, and I just stumbled across it on my HD recently. It still makes me laugh! I decided to update a few things from Slackware --> Ubuntu. Of course, Patrick Volkerding makes a better Yoda, whereas I would consider the SABDFL more of a Han Solo. Yes, I know I'm weird.


A long time ago, on a server far, far away...


Gates: It's not the Tux or the *buntu side
(McBride: No it's not!)
Gates: It's not the Hat or the Slack side
(McBride: No it's not!)
Gates: It's the Closed Side
(McBride: You are correct!)
Gates: You can't front on the Empire
To all you Windows-Haters out there
We'll blow your desktop up


McBride: What is thy coding, my master?
Gates: It's a disaster, Linux we're after
McBride: But if we can patent our Closed Side
Gates: Yes he'd have no chance, let's make Tux die!
Another “SCO” ally...
McBride: You will join us or die!


We got Windows (8x)


Torvalds:Tux! Get your *ss over here
and quit monkeying around with that damn CVS!
Did you fix those two bugs?
Did you clean your /home?
Tux: Uncle Torvalds, you know I read your journal
I patched the problem
Can I put it in the kernel?
I got a layaway on a killer computer
But now you're treating me
Like a stupid NT Server!
(Steve) Jobs: Tux, use the Source, and run!
Run to mac.com
Run to mac.com


Shuttleworth: I'm SABDFL, yeah, I'm a soldja
I'll code ya, then I'll scold ya
I thought I told ya...
Don't be a dumb guy, judge me not by my UI
You won't believe your console
Watch my Source code fly!
Tux: Mark, why you playing me the hates?
You know that I still must confront Lord Gates
Shuttleworth: But Tux, not ready are you
Tux: But there's a server in the Valley where they're keeping my crew
A kernel's gotta do what a kernel's gotta do
So now Gates, I'm coming for you



Yeah, that's right GNU, I just set in a course, we're going to Silicon Valley. That's mighty good tar and gzip, why don't you mix me up another... Things're about to get ugly!


Gates: Impressive, now give me your source code!
You must've known that we put patents on our server node.
Tux: Ahhh! Why'd you cut off my 'net?
Gates: It is imperative that this is what you get:
Mark or Steve would never bother
Telling you about your UNIX father
Tux: They told me enough, they told me you copied him!
Gates: Then there's something I must reveal then


Gates: I'm your father, I'm your father (4x)


DVDJon: Hack him with the stack, Tux! Buffer overrun!
Hack him with the stack, Tux! Buffer overrun!


ubuntu-geek: wtf?

[briancurtin]

wtf?
.

[William the Conquerer]

hmm... people don't really flame much on the ubuntuforums... so yeah nevermind...

[woedend]

slowly ease away from the keyboard...get some fresh air :).

[philipacamaniac]

hmm... people don't really flame much on the ubuntuforums... so yeah nevermind...

Sorry...this was considered a flame? I was just having some cheezy fun... looking for a few laughs (this is the Cafe, you know). If I've offended you I'm truly sorry.

[PatrickMay16]

Yo wazzup my main men!!!!!!!! Peace!!!!!!!!111

[Lovechild]

You have WAY to much time on your hands.

[benplaut]

i agree with lovechild...

also, it'll only be funny if we hear you rapping it, put to music.

[jeremy]

I think it sounds great! And I only read it.

[bored2k]

This almost as uncomfortable and weird as a geek making eye-contact with a girl..

[Kimm]

i agree with lovechild...


Secund that.
Its great though!!



This almost as uncomfortable and weird as a geek making eye-contact with a girl..


Lol, first I read that as "eye-candy" and was like... w00t.
I agree on the wierdness :-P

[prizrak]

I think it's supposed to be set to the music of star wars gangsta rap

[bored2k]

I think it's supposed to be set to the music of star wars gangsta rap
Correct. http://www.atomfilms.com/af/content/gangsta_rap_se

[IYY]

Nobody does it quite like MC Plus+ and Monzy, the original CS rappers:

http://www.mcplusplus.com/downloads/
http://www.monzy.com/intro/pimpinglemma_lyrics.html
http://www.monzy.com/intro/drama_lyrics.html

[GreyFox503]

hmm... people don't really flame much on the ubuntuforums... so yeah nevermind...Sorry...this was considered a flame? I was just having some cheezy fun... looking for a few laughs (this is the Cafe, you know). If I've offended you I'm truly sorry.
I think william meant that he was getting ready to flame you, before he realized he's too polite. :)

[philipacamaniac]

Ahh... I can see that now.

All I can say is... "we got Death Star" er, I mean "Windows"

[FredSambo]

can i get a refund for the ten minutes it took me to read the first post?

[Christmas]

Tux: But there's a server in the Valley where they're keeping my crew
A kernel's gotta do what a kernel's gotta do
So now Gates, I'm coming for you

=)) That was funny

[amunimanghi]

that was funny. the lyrics were great.

[Donshyoku]

Nevermind, I should probably read page two next time!

[PatrickMay16]

I'd just like to tell you, I enjoyed this Linux Gangsta Rap very much. It is excellent.
Also let me tell you, I installed DAPPER DRAKE on my machine and I pulled up to a house about seven or eight,
and I yelled to the cabby yo holmes, smell you later.
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there,
to sit on my throne as the prince of bel-air.

[BWF89]

That was great

[RavenOfOdin]

Personally, I'd like a refund as well.

[YourSurrogateGod]

wtf? indeed. Just weird, if you like doing this for fun and such, then more power to you, but it's just odd.

[fuscia]

there's no inherent rhythm in your text. it's amazing how effective the stupidest crap can be when presented with metrical flow and rhyme.

[nalmeth]

A lot of critism, not a lot of rappin

anyone else gonna take the mic?

[graigsmith]

lol, i thought it was funny. you have to have seen the starwars gangsta rap.