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DubiousKing
April 12th, 2010, 07:05 PM
I don't know where this came from, but it was posted on the wall outside a computer class on my campus.

a) Windows toaster:
The Windows toaster looks nice, but sometimes it just won't make toast. It either comes out burnt or raw, or it stops halfway through. Also, you have to unplug the toaster, plug it back in again, and wait 5 minutes each time you want to try and make some toast. For every loaf of bread you buy, you are forced to buy a license for a new toaster to go with it, and you will get sued if you let someone else have some of your toast.

b) MAC toaster:
The MAC toaster has no settings or controls and it looks very stylish, but will only accept proprietary size bread which can only be bought from Apple main dealers at 10 times the price of regular bread. If it breaks you will have to ship it to a licensed repair shop for service. The toast is fine except that the size of the bread is so odd that you can't actually eat the toast it produces, although it does look good.

c) Linux toaster:
The Linux toaster looks awful. It has wires crimped together hanging out of it, and pieces grafted on from other toasters. The first time you try to make toast, it burns it. The next time it's raw. But after you read the man pages and invoke the command line toast -verbose -breadsize 50132 -eject -o z3321 > /dev/toast | more it makes perfect toast forever and never breaks.

Groucho Marxist
April 12th, 2010, 07:10 PM
I don't know where this came from, but it was posted on the wall outside a computer class on my campus.

a) Windows toaster:
The Windows toaster looks nice, but sometimes it just won't make toast. It either comes out burnt or raw, or it stops halfway through. Also, you have to unplug the toaster, plug it back in again, and wait 5 minutes each time you want to try and make some toast. For every loaf of bread you buy, you are forced to buy a license for a new toaster to go with it, and you will get sued if you let someone else have some of your toast.

b) MAC toaster:
The MAC toaster has no settings or controls and it looks very stylish, but will only accept proprietary size bread which can only be bought from Apple main dealers at 10 times the price of regular bread. If it breaks you will have to ship it to a licensed repair shop for service. The toast is fine except that the size of the bread is so odd that you can't actually eat the toast it produces, although it does look good.

c) Linux toaster:
The Linux toaster looks awful. It has wires crimped together hanging out of it, and pieces grafted on from other toasters. The first time you try to make toast, it burns it. The next time it's raw. But after you read the man pages and invoke the command line toast -verbose -breadsize 50132 -eject -o z3321 > /dev/toast | more it makes perfect toast forever and never breaks.

Ubuntu Forums; the host of the post that can boast the most toast.

sydbat
April 12th, 2010, 07:11 PM
Lol

chucky chuckaluck
April 12th, 2010, 07:14 PM
they do, and just like netbsd, it hasn't found widespread enthusiasm.

http://www.embeddedarm.com/software/arm-netbsd-toaster.php

http://www.embeddedarm.com/images/misc/netbsd-toaster.jpg

azagaros
April 12th, 2010, 07:16 PM
It is nice to see something sum up the operating systems so eloquently. It states the obvious issues with the operating systems.

Where's the dos toaster or the OS/2 toasters?

blur xc
April 12th, 2010, 07:16 PM
That's fantastic...

I'm going to have to save that one...

(still laughing)...

BM

Random_Dude
April 12th, 2010, 07:16 PM
So True.:lolflag:

Dayofswords
April 12th, 2010, 07:20 PM
reminds me of this:



If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

Tanayar
April 12th, 2010, 07:38 PM
Google Chrome Os Toaster
Nice looking, light weight. But won't work without wifi or ethernet connection to the internet.

whiskeylover
April 12th, 2010, 07:40 PM
Google Chrome Os Toaster
Nice looking, light weight. But won't work without wifi or ethernet connection to the internet.

It wont even require bread to be inserted in the slots. Bread will be downloaded from google servers.

drreed
April 12th, 2010, 08:19 PM
They used to . . .It was a production studio graphics card for the Commodore Amiga, called "Video Toaster". I never had one because it was too expensive, but I sure spent a lot of time drooling over them in magazines.

Doctor Mike
April 12th, 2010, 08:20 PM
I guess if you want it to be fast light and work out of the box you'd have to get a Haiku Toaster...

Maheriano
April 12th, 2010, 08:25 PM
I think Microsoft is fighting back. I'm here at work using a Windows XP machine and reading this thread. I clicked away to work on something else and when I came back I was staring at this page: http://www.microsoft.com/windows/about/customizelinks.mspx. I hit BACK in my browser and it returned me to here but wow....how did that happen?

standingwave
April 12th, 2010, 08:29 PM
Then there's Neil Stephenson's metaphor from In The Beginning (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_the_Beginning..._was_the_Command_Line):
Imagine a crossroads where four competing auto dealerships are situated. One of them (Microsoft) is much, much bigger than the others. It started out years ago selling three-speed bicycles (MS-DOS); these were not perfect, but they worked, and when they broke you could easily fix them.

There was a competing bicycle dealership next door (Apple) that one day began selling motorized vehicles--expensive but attractively styled cars with their innards hermetically sealed, so that how they worked was something of a mystery.

The big dealership responded by rushing a moped upgrade kit (the original Windows) onto the market. This was a Rube Goldberg contraption that, when bolted onto a three-speed bicycle, enabled it to keep up, just barely, with Apple-cars. The users had to wear goggles and were always picking bugs out of their teeth while Apple owners sped along in hermetically sealed comfort, sneering out the windows. But the Micro-mopeds were cheap, and easy to fix compared with the Apple-cars, and their market share waxed.

Eventually the big dealership came out with a full-fledged car: a colossal station wagon (Windows 95). It had all the aesthetic appeal of a Soviet worker housing block, it leaked oil and blew gaskets, and it was an enormous success. A little later, they also came out with a hulking off-road vehicle intended for industrial users (Windows NT) which was no more beautiful than the station wagon, and only a little more reliable.

Since then there has been a lot of noise and shouting, but little has changed. The smaller dealership continues to sell sleek Euro-styled sedans and to spend a lot of money on advertising campaigns. They have had GOING OUT OF BUSINESS! signs taped up in their windows for so long that they have gotten all yellow and curly. The big one keeps making bigger and bigger station wagons and ORVs.

On the other side of the road are two competitors that have come along more recently. One of them (Be, Inc.) is selling fully operational Batmobiles (the BeOS). They are more beautiful and stylish even than the Euro-sedans, better designed, more technologically advanced, and at least as reliable as anything else on the market--and yet cheaper than the others.

With one exception, that is: Linux, which is right next door, and which is not a business at all. It's a bunch of RVs, yurts, tepees, and geodesic domes set up in a field and organized by consensus. The people who live there are making tanks. These are not old-fashioned, cast-iron Soviet tanks; these are more like the M1 tanks of the U.S. Army, made of space-age materials and jammed with sophisticated technology from one end to the other. But they are better than Army tanks. They've been modified in such a way that they never, ever break down, are light and maneuverable enough to use on ordinary streets, and use no more fuel than a subcompact car. These tanks are being cranked out, on the spot, at a terrific pace, and a vast number of them are lined up along the edge of the road with keys in the ignition. Anyone who wants can simply climb into one and drive it away for free.

Customers come to this crossroads in throngs, day and night. Ninety percent of them go straight to the biggest dealership and buy station wagons or off-road vehicles. They do not even look at the other dealerships.

Of the remaining ten percent, most go and buy a sleek Euro-sedan, pausing only to turn up their noses at the philistines going to buy the station wagons and ORVs. If they even notice the people on the opposite side of the road, selling the cheaper, technically superior vehicles, these customers deride them cranks and half-wits.

The Batmobile outlet sells a few vehicles to the occasional car nut who wants a second vehicle to go with his station wagon, but seems to accept, at least for now, that it's a fringe player.

The group giving away the free tanks only stays alive because it is staffed by volunteers, who are lined up at the edge of the street with bullhorns, trying to draw customers' attention to this incredible situation. A typical conversation goes something like this:

Hacker with bullhorn: "Save your money! Accept one of our free tanks! It is invulnerable, and can drive across rocks and swamps at ninety miles an hour while getting a hundred miles to the gallon!"

Prospective station wagon buyer: "I know what you say is true...but...er...I don't know how to maintain a tank!"

Bullhorn: "You don't know how to maintain a station wagon either!"

Buyer: "But this dealership has mechanics on staff. If something goes wrong with my station wagon, I can take a day off work, bring it here, and pay them to work on it while I sit in the waiting room for hours, listening to elevator music."

Bullhorn: "But if you accept one of our free tanks we will send volunteers to your house to fix it for free while you sleep!"

Buyer: "Stay away from my house, you freak!"

Doctor Mike
April 12th, 2010, 08:30 PM
I think Microsoft is fighting back. I'm here at work using a Windows XP machine and reading this thread. I clicked away to work on something else and when I came back I was staring at this page: http://www.microsoft.com/windows/about/customizelinks.mspx. I hit BACK in my browser and it returned me to here but wow....how did that happen?
So, which version of toaster are you using?

-humanaut-
April 12th, 2010, 08:31 PM
hahaha man thats great :lolflag:

Groucho Marxist
April 12th, 2010, 08:33 PM
So, which version of toaster are you using?

One optimized for his Dual-Core system.

http://img694.imageshack.us/img694/7605/97027633.jpg

-humanaut-
April 12th, 2010, 08:36 PM
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.slashfood.com/media/2006/10/glass_toaster.jpg iToast

whiskeylover
April 12th, 2010, 08:55 PM
I think Microsoft is fighting back. I'm here at work using a Windows XP machine and reading this thread. I clicked away to work on something else and when I came back I was staring at this page: http://www.microsoft.com/windows/about/customizelinks.mspx. I hit BACK in my browser and it returned me to here but wow....how did that happen?

You must've clicked on the "Customize Links" link on your IE's bookmarks toolbar.

standingwave
April 12th, 2010, 09:06 PM
I want a hex core:

http://i42.tinypic.com/258xi6b.jpg

Doctor Mike
April 12th, 2010, 09:24 PM
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Toaster Linux, or maybe just T.O.A.S.T... Today Our Austere Systems Transend....

DZ*
April 12th, 2010, 09:27 PM
Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

It's a good deal, but some in-flight movies wouldn't play unless you bring your own "codecs", and then master channel would get muted for no apparent reason.

Also, I get upset over those volunteer stewards constantly telling me to "RTFM, n00b".

frrobert
April 12th, 2010, 09:41 PM
The toaster for command line users.
http://images.campingworld.com/is/image/CWI/20000/23458w.jpg

Doctor Mike
April 12th, 2010, 09:54 PM
Don't buy the T.O.A.S.T. just stand in line, it's free...

chillicampari
April 12th, 2010, 09:56 PM
It is nice to see something sum up the operating systems so eloquently. It states the obvious issues with the operating systems.

Where's the dos toaster or the OS/2 toasters?

The dos toaster was retired. It worked great if you wanted to toast a single slice of bread at a time, but introducing an additional slice would sometimes trigger a slot address conflict and lock the whole toaster up.

doas777
April 12th, 2010, 09:58 PM
soon they will, just so that the power company can turn them up and down at their whim

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smart_grid

Doctor Mike
April 12th, 2010, 10:19 PM
I see my butt, or should I say but, got in the way of my joke...
This should be continued as the never ending thread, well because toast is so versatile and accepted among all religions and governments... It's just the right subject for this forum. No worries (it's biodegradable) just crumbs.

ve4cib
April 12th, 2010, 10:22 PM
If toasters has operating systems this would be the result:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRq_SAuQDec

Directive 4
April 12th, 2010, 10:32 PM
would anybody like some toast...


http://mikecane2008.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/talkietoaster.jpg

Doctor Mike
April 12th, 2010, 10:52 PM
would anybody like some toast...] Yesy I'd like some off the top, gritty, unrefined and perhaps a bit intolerant... Or maybe I should...


http://mikecane2008.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/talkietoaster.jpg[/QUOTE]

keithpeter
April 13th, 2010, 08:40 AM
But after you read the man pages and invoke the command line toast -verbose -breadsize 50132 -eject -o z3321 > /dev/toast | more it makes perfect toast forever and never breaks.

Should that not be toast --verbose --breadsize 50132 --eject -o z3321 > /dev/toast | more?

jwbrase
April 13th, 2010, 10:19 AM
I think these links get the "Toaster's with Operating Systems" idea across quite well.

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20040607.html

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20040610.html

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20040613.html

handy
April 13th, 2010, 12:46 PM
There is a very smart talking toaster in some Red Dwarf episodes.

Endomancer
April 13th, 2010, 01:06 PM
I don't know where this came from, but it was posted on the wall outside a computer class on my campus.

c) Linux toaster:
The Linux toaster looks awful. It has wires crimped together hanging out of it, and pieces grafted on from other toasters. The first time you try to make toast, it burns it. The next time it's raw. But after you read the man pages and invoke the command line toast -verbose -breadsize 50132 -eject -o z3321 > /dev/toast | more it makes perfect toast forever and never breaks.

Don't forget the Restricted Extras Condiments Repositories

or the command sudo apt-get spread "condiment name"

Doctor Mike
April 13th, 2010, 02:26 PM
I new someone out there would have had to do it for real: :)

http://www.toasterpc.com/picture_gallery.htm


It works...

sydbat
April 13th, 2010, 02:34 PM
I new someone out there would have had to do it for real: :)

http://www.toasterpc.com/picture_gallery.htm


It works...But does it still make toast??

forrestcupp
April 13th, 2010, 02:37 PM
I've got my USB toaster on order!

http://laughingsquid.com/wp-content/uploads/usb-toaster.jpg

undecim
April 13th, 2010, 03:37 PM
Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

Ubuntu Air

Like Linux Air, but three of the four bolts are already added. Some of the frequent fliers will help you put the last bolt in while everyone else welcomes you to the plane and cheers you on.

Doctor Mike
April 13th, 2010, 04:09 PM
But does it still make toast??And I've found some that make toast as well...:)

doas777
April 13th, 2010, 09:55 PM
And I've found some that make toast as well...:)
as long as they don't burn micky mouse ears into it, that should work. I am feeling a touch peckish.