The Chuck Norris/Jack Bauer Thread

[derekeverett]

I get a real kick out of the ol' Chuck Norris & Jack Bauer one-liners...

Anybody who hasn't heard any before.. google some for a good laugh.

I'm hoping we can come up with some good computer/Linux/Ubuntu/Programming one-liners... so I guess I'll start.

"Chuck Norris doesn't install any codecs, media just plays for Chuck Norris."

[dragos240]

This thread has the potential to be awesome.

[NightwishFan]

Chuck Norris is the cause of all kernel panics. Who wouldn't panic if Chuck Norris sat down at a computer.

When Chuck Norris compiles a program he types 'make roundhouse', and it just does man.

[ndefontenay]

Chuck Norris can count in binary up to 101011101010010101110101001000011010010010100

[dragos240]

Chuck Norris has recited pi. Twice.

[nmccrina]

Windows Vista works for Chuck Norris.

[NightwishFan]

Linux 3 is actually out. It runs on specific algorithms calculated by dividing the radius of chuck norris kicks by infinity.

[ndefontenay]

The Linux Chuck Norris distro just works. All the time.

[derekeverett]

Here's one for the programmers...

"When Jack Bauer throws an exception, it destroys everything within a 3 block radius."

[#11u-max]

when chuck norris installs software, he doesnt need dependencies, the dependencies need him.

[Madspyman]

Sudo has to type Chuck Norris before installing anything.

[NightwishFan]

Wow those were good ones. You log in as root, root logs in as Linus Torvals, and Linus Torvalds logs in as Chuck Norris. The machine instantly evaporates because you cant open source Chick Norris.

[detroit/zero]

This should be called "The tired memes of 2006 thread".

[ndefontenay]

Your Linux distro has a config problem?
Open a file keep it blank, save it as Chuck Norris.
It's all fixed.

[ndefontenay]

Chuck Norris' home folder is a dojo.

[Madspyman]

Chuck Norris doesn't need to compile source code, he just stares at it until it compiles itself.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to minimize programs to see the desktop, Chuck Norris see's all.

Bash is what Chuck Norris does to all who oppose.

Python gets a byte of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris popped the Linux kernel and ate it.

Gnu/Linux is what happened when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Richard Stallman onto Linus Torvalds.

[Khakilang]

Chuck Norris knock out Mike Tyson with a overhead Linux flying kick.

[NightwishFan]

Chuck Norris knock out Mike Tyson with a overhead Linux flying kick.

Hoo-ah! :D