Fun I have with my kid's school

[machiner]

SO - I wrote this "dismissal note" this morning.

I like to have fun with the school -- whaddya think. My wife was appaled. She's funny that way...


February 1, 2005
Mrs. Borus
MI School



Good Morning:

Madison has an appointment with a Voodoo Witch Doctor this morning, she will need to be dismissed at 9:30.

Because this is February and the position of Earth in space is further from the Sun the appointment may run long. Something about ceremony; our family Voodoo Witch Doctor is very specific and there's no talking to her.

We will make every attampt to return her to her studies.

Regards,

Brian - Father of the female child

[nocturn]

LOL

Are you serious you wrote this?

[Marquis_de_Carabas]

I like it :) Probably be viewed as pretty normal stuff if you were living in San Francisco (I was amazed by the number of classified adverts for witch-doctors in the SF local papers, many with a "No gain, no fee" clause of some kind).

[machiner]

Yes, Nocturn - I sent it off with my daughter this morning.

If it ain't fun, I ain't doin' it.

It's good to be dad -- and have kids with a sense of humor.

WIfe will be ok - she's corporate - she'll get over it.


Mu hahahahaha.

Into every life a little humor must fall.

Oh -yeah - I lived in SF when I did my "On the Road" thing (2ce). Y'll certainly have a very colorful city. I loved it.

[az]

The teacher should return the letter with the grammar and spelling corrected.

[machiner]

Ba haha ha...I spelled attempt incorrectly!

Maybe she won't notice.

[az]

"Good Morning:

Madison has an appointment with a Voodoo Witch Doctor this morning, she will need to be dismissed at 9:30.

Because this is February and the position of Earth in space is further(1) from the Sun the appointment may run long. Something about ceremony(2); our family Voodoo Witch Doctor is very specific and there's no talking to her(3).

We will make every attampt(4) to return her to her studies(5).

Regards,

Brian - Father of the female child"



(1) You mean farther, as in a comparison of distance and not further, as in to a greater degree or extent
(2) This is a sentence fragment. You need at least a verb to make it a phrase or a sentence.
(3) This is very unclear. What do you mean by this?
(4) Spelling.
(5) You imply by this that she will be back as soon as possible. You should say that then. Otherwise, this is vague.





What else would you expect from this thread?

[jdodson]

all spelling and grammer( :mrgreen: ) aside, it was pretty funny.

[poofyhairguy]

"Good Morning:

Madison has an appointment with a Voodoo Witch Doctor this morning, she will need to be dismissed at 9:30.

Because this is February and the position of Earth in space is further(1) from the Sun the appointment may run long. Something about ceremony(2); our family Voodoo Witch Doctor is very specific and there's no talking to her(3).

We will make every attampt(4) to return her to her studies(5).

Regards,

Brian - Father of the female child"



(1) You mean farther, as in a comparison of distance and not further, as in to a greater degree or extent
(2) This is a sentence fragment. You need at least a verb to make it a phrase or a sentence.
(3) This is very unclear. What do you mean by this?
(4) Spelling.
(5) You imply by this that she will be back as soon as possible. You should say that then. Otherwise, this is vague.





What else would you expect from this thread?


Holy Crap....a natural proofreader!

[poofyhairguy]

WIfe will be ok - she's corporate - she'll get over it.


She's corporate? Maybe I'm too young, I don't get it.

[KiwiNZ]

I love it ,

he is an anecdote for you , my youngest son sent a letter to one of his teachers
from me ( forged signature) asking that he be excussed for not handing in a homework assignment as "His brother ate his homework".

[Ex-Cyber]

"Good Morning:
We will make every attampt(4) to return her to her studies(5).

...

(5) You imply by this that she will be back as soon as possible. You should say that then. Otherwise, this is vague.

I think the implication was that they may fail to return her. 8-[

[Marquis_de_Carabas]

(1) You mean farther, as in a comparison of distance and not further, as in to a greater degree or extent
(2) This is a sentence fragment. You need at least a verb to make it a phrase or a sentence.
(3) This is very unclear. What do you mean by this?
(4) Spelling.
(5) You imply by this that she will be back as soon as possible. You should say that then. Otherwise, this is vague.

But you're happy with "...the appointment may run long." ?

[TravisNewman]

Ah, the world needs more people like you, machiner. Seriously, that cracks me up! If I were a teacher I would probably still think it was funny, while the other teachers were either worried that the Witch Doctor would hurt your daughter, or pissed that you did that to begin with. But not me. The world needs to learn how to freakin' laugh sometimes, ya know?

Just out of curiosity, what DID the teachers say/do? And why was she missing school for real?

[darkoptix]

That's funny. I should try it to get out of class. Heh.

[az]

"But you're happy with "...the appointment may run long." ?"

Oooooo.

[machiner]

"Good Morning:

Madison has an appointment with a Voodoo Witch Doctor this morning, she will need to be dismissed at 9:30.

Because this is February and the position of Earth in space is further(1) from the Sun the appointment may run long. Something about ceremony(2); our family Voodoo Witch Doctor is very specific and there's no talking to her(3).

We will make every attampt(4) to return her to her studies(5).

Regards,

Brian - Father of the female child"



(1) You mean farther, as in a comparison of distance and not further, as in to a greater degree or extent
(2) This is a sentence fragment. You need at least a verb to make it a phrase or a sentence.
(3) This is very unclear. What do you mean by this?
(4) Spelling.
(5) You imply by this that she will be back as soon as possible. You should say that then. Otherwise, this is vague.


What else would you expect from this thread?


Azz -- really. In the interest of lifelong learning I am always appreciative when I am corrected, but ( and I wasn't going to do this - it was a "sleep-reduced, coughed-up note", but I think it's proper that I do) I must now set you straight.
(I've got my "Holt Handbook" and "News Reporting and Writing" [6th edition] as well as various "writing for humor" experiences handy...I'll meet you at high-noon - the Village Square)

Conceding to some errors I will now help you a little:

"Something about ceremony(2); our family Voodoo Witch Doctor is very specific and there's no talking to her(3)."
What you are calling sentence #2 - fragment, is actually one of the correct usages for the semi-colon in English writing. I have used it as a "hard-comma" which is wholly acceptable and, in fact, enforced in writing. When employing a semi-colon it's not imperative to have a verb to the left of it. This is an acceptable sentence.

To be even more correct - I could've done without slang. I wrote:
"...and there's no talking to her." That is horrible writing - even in the context of slang and audience.

#3 Is negated.
You are correct with the improper usage of further/farther - sometimes it's important to "write for your audience".

#We will make every attampt(4) to return her to her studies(5)." (attempt - Duh!)

I do not imply that she will be back as soon as possible. I simply use the sentence to further stress an inconclusive time frame. As well, I suggest that because of the pomp-and-ceremony employed by our family Voodoo Witch Doctor, Madison might not be able to return to school at all this day.

This sentence and the supporting role of it helps to convey the humor.

It's a fine sentence and un-ambiguous.

I'll concede to spelang errurs all day.


My days of writing for money or grades are long over my friend - college and the newspaper were long ago. These days, with 2 young children (almost 7, and almost 4), I just try to keep myself from sounding too much like a fool.

[machiner]

My kids had a dentist appointment.

How boring is that --

[machiner]

I love it ,

he is an anecdote for you , my youngest son sent a letter to one of his teachers
from me ( forged signature) asking that he be excussed for not handing in a homework assignment as "His brother ate his homework".


I'm giggling. Thanks for that.

[az]

Hey man, you started out making fun of yourself. I just jumped it.

Dentist, boring? 'last time I went, they gave me laughing gas.

[machiner]

...and I will always make fun of myself. It keeps me young and happy.

...and I will continue to make mistakes and be wrong - so I can learn and have cool quibbles with my new compadres on the Ubuntu Forums! =D>

Rock On.


Hey man, you started out making fun of yourself. I just jumped it.

Dentist, boring? 'last time I went, they gave me laughing gas.

Man - I guess I've been pretty unlucky these past few decades - I was never given anesthesia at all - of any sort. I have about 6 fillings!

Man I used to be petrified to goto the dentist -- but you gotta admit:

Dentist or Voodoo Witch Doctor -- I'll play all day long with sensibilities and convention.

I think for the next dismissal note something on the order of "using her powers for good" and saving humanity from (pick a scourge) might be appropriate. It'll be fun to try to top each successive note to school.

Parenting ROCKS!