Being treated as a baby instead of an adult

[mybodymyself]

This is both of an question and rant from me.

Know that I'm not the only one whom has experience this before. Mean it can be off/online.

Mean before foundin and/or comin here?

Is it me that we are treated as we are still babies/kids??? Is it me that there are owner/s, admin/s, mod/s whom have no clue on how to run forum???

Its hard even though they all know and we have talked about it. Mostly there are other factors which I can't think of at moment. Somehow I never could avoid this when lookin for new forums for myself. Hope being here is goin to stop this.

[CJ Master]

......
......


... No, I didn't understand any of that.

[abeisgreat]

Yes, I'm confused as well. It is clear english is not your first language, which is fine but, in order for us to understand you, you must make your point with more words, more explanation. So we can understand. And once we do, then we can discuss things!

[handy]

The best way to be treated as an adult is to adopt a mature attitude.

One that appreciates that the vast majority of the staff here & in most other forums is volunteering their time to help a community forum function.

Without the volunteers their is no forum.

We all make mistakes, have good days & bad days. & have to suffer the communication limitations placed upon us by the non face to face mode of the written word.

Some people communicate better than others when writing.

So, my advice to you, is to put on a happy face, don't come here complaining, (especially about the forum staff) & to start helping people, or talking about positive things?

You will go a lot further here that way.

Good luck with your thread, as I can see that it has the potential to pull immature complainers out of the woodwork which if so, will have the thread closed pretty quickly.

[pwnst*r]

lol, Handy, there you go again

[handy]

lol, Handy, there you go again

Hey, it is a different thread! ;)

& the advice just might help someone who obviously gets a hard time in forums learn to survive this one?

Maybe...

[wilee-nilee]

Manipulation is the key word here.

[Warpnow]

The worst part of most forums are the moderators. This is includes the dozen or so moderately successful forums I've owned and moderated. The administrators have a vision. Its like a town hall meeting. The people throwing it have an agenda, but so do the people showing up. They're not always the same, and they usually come to conflict.

However, in real life, people are alot nicer and more respectful of each other. If you think about it in a real life manner, the idea "locking" topic of conversation would be viewed as extremely rude. Impersonal things are accepted and understood in the online community. It is as though by communicating using technology, we forget real humans sit behind every username, each one capable of thought and feeling, and that they have valuable contributions to add to almost any situation, whether anecdotal or not. This is why users are extremely disrespectful in flaming and breaking rules, and why moderators are impersonal and cold in their enforcement, on almost every forum you'll visit.

[SunnyRabbiera]

Koochy koochy koo. :popcorn:

[handy]

The worst part of most forums are the moderators. This is includes the dozen or so moderately successful forums I've owned and moderated. The administrators have a vision. Its like a town hall meeting. The people throwing it have an agenda, but so do the people showing up. They're not always the same, and they usually come to conflict.

However, in real life, people are alot nicer and more respectful of each other. If you think about it in a real life manner, the idea "locking" topic of conversation would be viewed as extremely rude. Impersonal things are accepted and understood in the online community. It is as though by communicating using technology, we forget real humans sit behind every username, each one capable of thought and feeling, and that they have valuable contributions to add to almost any situation, whether anecdotal or not. This is why users are extremely disrespectful in flaming and breaking rules, and why moderators are impersonal and cold in their enforcement, on almost every forum you'll visit.

That's not my experience.

I've been to one forum where there were no rules, & the conversations were incredibly rude. It became obvious that the people using that particular forum just liked to be able to vent at each other! All in all a waste of time as far as I was concerned. I expect that the users there were mostly pretty young.

The other forum had a bunch of elitist members & staff.

All of the others have had great staff, where people were treated fairly, imho, anyway.

[Marvin666]

One forum I went to was pretty much ran by it's users, except for a master admin. They seemed to police themselves quite well. The admin had to step in every now and then though.

[handy]

I'm a mod on a small forum, & on the few occasions that we have had troublesome members, we have worked so hard to get the user to understand what our few rules require. We try to get them to understand the exact meaning of the rule they are breaking, & give them a number of warnings as well as PMs.

When all else fails they get banned.

I think there are only 6 of us on the staff, & we put our heads together a lot to work out the best way to try & turn trouble around.

[~sHyLoCk~]

OP



sudo apt-get install aspell-en

[earthpigg]

One forum I went to was pretty much ran by it's users, except for a master admin. They seemed to police themselves quite well. The admin had to step in every now and then though.

ditto.

in fact, here (http://www.utopiaforums.com/).

only time the admin steps in is when a mod needs to be fired. referendum is held, and the mod is either fired or not. it isn't always fair to the mods, but who cares? mods are public servants, not the other way around.

rules:

1) no kiddy porn
2) no spam/flooding
3) no violating copyright if the copyright holder is a forum member
4) thats it

no attempt is made to enforce the laws of any arbitrary nation aside from that. (certainly not all nations, which ubuntuforums is silly and ridiculous enough to attempt.)

[hoppipolla]

On my forum I just have the normal mods/admin/users set up. I dunno, works fine, no need to change it really.

I even have a second (and sometimes third) full site admin, to keep things going even smoother.

[~sHyLoCk~]

On my forum

OMG! Hoppi has a forum? Where where? Spam time. "I hate KDE" threads. Lol jk.. :D

[earthpigg]

I even have a second (and sometimes third) full site admin, to keep things going even smoother.

what % of your forum's community is a mod or admin?

[lisati]

My $0.02: It's not always possible to agree on everything. Being polite and respectful can go a long way to resolving differences of opinion.

[grief -l]

mybodymyself, Hello! You sound like a very nice person and it sounds like you want to make friends. Unfortunately this is not a social site (it's not geared towards people making new friends), but a user support forum.

When people can't see you they can't see how nice you are, and, very broadly speaking, people either don't like other people who are different to themselves, or are scared of them (you know what I mean by different even if others don't).

It's a shame that most people today cannot see how special those among us are who are not the same as the rest of us, and it's a greater shame that they enjoy making fun of them. Know this - those who cannot bring themselves to respect you as an adult don't deserve any respect themselves and don't deserve your friendship either.

You're special!

Gabe

[juancarlospaco]

Yeah, Girls call me "Baby" sometimes...

[Gizenshya]

This is both of an question and rant from me.

Know that I'm not the only one whom has experience this before. Mean it can be off/online.

Mean before foundin and/or comin here?

Is it me that we are treated as we are still babies/kids??? Is it me that there are owner/s, admin/s, mod/s whom have no clue on how to run forum???

Its hard even though they all know and we have talked about it. Mostly there are other factors which I can't think of at moment. Somehow I never could avoid this when lookin for new forums for myself. Hope being here is goin to stop this.


... quit being such a baby.

:p

Being annoyed by mods is just another part of growing up. Just like with everything else (sex, drugs), you have to learn your limits and self-moderation. Be a daddy too early or get addicted and it's like being banned from the good life. And the alternative, Suckville, much like the name implies, sucks.

[Danny Dubya]

Mean before foundin and/or comin here?

Is it me that we are treated as we are still babies/kids??? Is it me that there are owner/s, admin/s, mod/s whom have no clue on how to run forum???

It's an unfortunate fact that moderators on forums are as much imperfect and human as you and I, and can forget themselves on occasion and do something that they should not have, or even be a bit rude. You have a few options for handling this, and I'm not saying they're the only ones you have :

1) Go to another forum that deals with the same subject matter, and hope you find their staff (if there is one) more agreeable.
2) Start your own forum. I tried this before when I felt how you did and it didn't go well -- I made a lot of mistakes, trusted the wrong people and let my emotions get the best of me on more than one occasion. You might gain insight into why mods act the way they do, though.
3) Give feedback to the forum or mod when you disagree with their decisions. Even if you don't get the result you want, you may feel better after talking it over with staff... heck, they might even apologize to you if you're lucky. Everybody has bad days.
4) Accept what happened and move on. Who has time for grudges in such a short life and harsh world, towards people you'll never meet face to face?

Another thing : you say that you don't like being treated like a child. How do you think the mods feel being talked about like bad cops, nazis and jerks? Consider this. :P

[Exodist]

Yes, I'm confused as well. It is clear english is not your first language, which is fine but, in order for us to understand you, you must make your point with more words, more explanation. So we can understand. And once we do, then we can discuss things!
I hate to sound like a horses rear, but Abe is correct. Maybe its your vocabulary making you sound young (like 8yo) the reason people treat you like a kit. If you are really born in 1981 like your profile states, then you vocabulary and attitude should reflect this.

[Warpnow]

Those aren't the grammar errors of young age, unless you mean extremely young, like 5-6. Not trying to be insulting, but even children don't make those particular mistakes. Either likely comes from not being a native speaker or from just not caring.

[Gizenshya]

^^^ bend over

remove head from the inner depths of your colon

then sit there awaiting further orders

[XubuRoxMySox]

It's interesting that so many assumptions are made in this thread. Being young doesn't necessarily mean being illiterate, emotional, jumping to unwarranted conclusions, nor dysfunctional.

It's true the original post is unclear. It's hard to tell what the complaint is. But leaving it alone would have been better in my opinion than making assumptions about the OP and posting them here.

-Robin

[mybodymyself]

mybodymyself, Hello! You sound like a very nice person and it sounds like you want to make friends. Unfortunately this is not a social site (it's not geared towards people making new friends), but a user support forum.

When people can't see you they can't see how nice you are, and, very broadly speaking, people either don't like other people who are different to themselves, or are scared of them (you know what I mean by different even if others don't).

It's a shame that most people today cannot see how special those among us are who are not the same as the rest of us, and it's a greater shame that they enjoy making fun of them. Know this - those who cannot bring themselves to respect you as an adult don't deserve any respect themselves and don't deserve your friendship either.

You're special!

Gabe

Gabel,

Thanx for your response to my thread here. Love your username. Wish others would follow suit and etc.

[jpeddicord]

I love how people think moderators always have "agendas". :) Here's my agenda for this morning:

Wake up, open mail, reddit, rss
Poke through subscriptions on the forums
Check reported posts and other areas
Idly browse around forums or elsewhere

I sit down at my chair and think "Wonder what's new at the forums," and not "Let's try to CoC violations."

Bottom line, which I'm sure has been said may times before by others: act like an adult and you'll be treated like one.
Also: Everyone has their bad days.

[Zoot7]

OMG! Hoppi has a forum? Where where? Spam time. "I hate KDE" threads. Lol jk.. :D
:lolflag:

[koenn]

I love how people think moderators always have "agendas". :) Here's my agenda for this morning:

Wake up, open mail, reddit, rss
Poke through subscriptions on the forums
Check reported posts and other areas
Idly browse around forums or elsewhere



man, you need a life ...

:)

[jpeddicord]

man, you need a life ...

:)


Here's my agenda for this morning:;)

[NoaHall]

Here's what I've got to say, etc.

[koenn]

Here's what I've got to say, etc.
It all depends on stuff etc.

[Danny Dubya]

It's interesting that so many assumptions are made in this thread. Being young doesn't necessarily mean being illiterate, emotional, jumping to unwarranted conclusions, nor dysfunctional.
I'm not sure about that, but I do know that being "grown-up" isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've seen most people only get more complicated and self-centered with age, not better.

[NoaHall]

It all depends on stuff etc.

Mods and people etc.

[koenn]

Mods and people etc.

and other factors and things etc

[NoaHall]

and other factors and things etc

Society, huh to your reply etc


There, thread summed up, etc.

[koenn]

There, thread summed up, etc.
lol etc

[koleoptero]

Also: Everyone has their bad days.
Too true unfortunately.

[nubimax]

I sometimes wish I could be treated like a young person but no. Once people see this old face they say can I help you sir, do you need help crossing the street sir. just once why can't someone say hey there you old fart how are you.
While you are young enjoy it, even though it is difficult being young.
Being old is not great but for now it beats the alternative.
M.

[mybodymyself]

I'm not sure about that, but I do know that being "grown-up" isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've seen most people only get more complicated and self-centered with age, not better.

Danny,

What an interesting response you wrote here. At the same time never thought of it that way before.