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T_Stormcrowe
February 23rd, 2006, 01:54 PM
If Mac was an airline, the planes would be sleek and beautiful, but the tickets would be very expensive and the onboard music system would have to be thrown away when the batteries needed replacement!

If Microsoft was an airline, the plane would get to 40,000 feet, and then explode! The parachutes would be on board, but would only work if you had service pack 2!

If linux was an airline, all the ticket holders would show up on the runway with aircraft parts, and build the plane on the spot! It might need some tweaking and tuning, but it would work!\\:D/

fuscia
February 23rd, 2006, 02:02 PM
microsoft is like cheap toilet paper, osx is like wet wipes and using linux is like wiping your *** with a pine cone.

mostwanted
February 23rd, 2006, 02:04 PM
Why was netstat afraid of man?
Because man 8 netstat

Almighty
February 23rd, 2006, 06:21 PM
http://www.ubergeek.tv/article.php?pid=54

jc87
February 23rd, 2006, 09:26 PM
What do you call to a M$ programmer which write code without bugs ?

Fired!

majikstreet
February 23rd, 2006, 10:18 PM
lollol... I love the ubergeek linux cartoon :D

sapo
February 23rd, 2006, 10:24 PM
How many microsoft programmers are needed to change a broken light?

None, they make dark the new standard.

Artificial Intelligence
February 23rd, 2006, 10:28 PM
:cool:

YourSurrogateGod
February 23rd, 2006, 10:35 PM
AI, kind of off-topic, but your desktop looks slick in your sig.

public_void
February 23rd, 2006, 11:18 PM
The president of Lotus walks into an elevator with a gun in his hand.
In the elevator are: Sadam Hussein, Timmothy McVeigh, and Bill Gates.
Only one problem: there are only two bullets.
Who does he shoot?

Bill, twice.

Cap'n Refsmmat
February 23rd, 2006, 11:47 PM
/me fstabs this thread and then bashes its head in

5-HT
February 24th, 2006, 12:05 AM
Why was netstat afraid of man?
Because man 8 netstat
\\:D/ Don't know why, but I loved this one!

rfruth
February 24th, 2006, 12:06 AM
Linux: Because a PC is a terrible thing to waste :)

direwolf
February 24th, 2006, 12:14 AM
http://www.arouse.net/despair-linux/

One they forgot was:
Gentoo Linux: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

YourSurrogateGod
February 24th, 2006, 01:16 AM
http://www.arouse.net/despair-linux/

One they forgot was:
Gentoo Linux: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
Hehehe

Tried gentoo once, didn't work out, then found ubuntu.

professor_chaos
February 24th, 2006, 05:31 AM
microsoft is like cheap toilet paper, osx is like wet wipes and using linux is like wiping your *** with a pine cone.

OUCH!

I like this one.

The box said "Windows 98 or better" - so I installed Linux

Iandefor
February 24th, 2006, 05:46 AM
Type cat vmlinuz > /dev/audio to hear the Voice of God.


Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.
The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his hands.
He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.
Turning to the other two, he says, "At Microsoft, we are trained to be extremely thorough."
The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.
He turns and says, "At Intel not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."
The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, "At Sun, we don`t **** on our hands."

YourSurrogateGod
February 24th, 2006, 06:03 AM
Type cat vmlinuz > /dev/audio to hear the Voice of God.


Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.
The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his hands.
He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.
Turning to the other two, he says, "At Microsoft, we are trained to be extremely thorough."
The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.
He turns and says, "At Intel not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."
The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, "At Sun, we don`t **** on our hands."
You've won.

bjweeks
February 24th, 2006, 06:29 AM
Type cat vmlinuz > /dev/audio to hear the Voice of God.


Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.
The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his hands.
He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.
Turning to the other two, he says, "At Microsoft, we are trained to be extremely thorough."
The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.
He turns and says, "At Intel not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."
The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, "At Sun, we don`t **** on our hands."

owned

Iandefor
February 24th, 2006, 07:52 AM
Good to hear it was so well-recieved :-D.

TechSonic
February 24th, 2006, 09:41 AM
Type cat vmlinuz > /dev/audio to hear the Voice of God.



????????????

Zeroangel
February 24th, 2006, 02:09 PM
Type cat vmlinuz > /dev/audio to hear the Voice of God.
Damn you, Salazar!

DAAAAMN YOUUU! :mad:

TrendyDark
February 24th, 2006, 02:46 PM
What do you call to a M$ programmer which write code without bugs ?

Fired!

hahaha, i love that one.

Polmac
February 24th, 2006, 08:49 PM
You should check this comic: http://mirror13.escomposlinux.org/comic/

This week it's not specially good, but you can read some older jokes...

majikstreet
February 24th, 2006, 09:33 PM
Type cat vmlinuz > /dev/audio to hear the Voice of God.

make that cat /vmlinuz > /dev/audio
or
cat /dev/random > /dev/audio

make sure to do it in a terminal! press "control+c" to stop :D

TechSonic
February 25th, 2006, 02:42 AM
make that cat /vmlinuz > /dev/audio
or
cat /dev/random > /dev/audio

make sure to do it in a terminal! press "control+c" to stop :D


Wtf does it do? Squars?

adamb10
February 25th, 2006, 03:14 AM
It makes a cracking sound. Dont ask me why a kernel has sound. :P

YourSurrogateGod
February 25th, 2006, 05:55 PM
make that cat /vmlinuz > /dev/audio
or
cat /dev/random > /dev/audio

make sure to do it in a terminal! press "control+c" to stop :D
It didn't work.

$ cat /dev/random > /dev/audio
bash: /dev/audio: Device or resource busy
$ cat /vmlinuz > /dev/audio
bash: /dev/audio: Device or resource busy
I don't know how to free that device.

TechSonic
February 25th, 2006, 06:25 PM
For those of you who can't get it to work,
I recorded it.

http://www.techsonic.net/voiceofgod.ogg

jobezone
February 25th, 2006, 07:14 PM
It...is...talking(?) to me...

yes, loRD TUX...AS YOU COMMAND...I WILL OBEY...YES, RECOMPILE THE KERNEL...

ubuntu27
February 25th, 2006, 08:02 PM
It...is...talking(?) to me...

yes, loRD TUX...AS YOU COMMAND...I WILL OBEY...YES, RECOMPILE THE KERNEL...


:D :D :twisted: yes! indeed!, Yes we do!

Iandefor
February 26th, 2006, 12:27 AM
Ya know, something I would NEVER expect someone to do is actually try to see what the output of cat /vmlinuz > /dev/audio is.


cat /dev/random > /dev/audio Which is equating the kernel to random characters. You do /vmlinuz because it's a statically compiled copy of the kernel, hence, sending it to the /dev/audio would produce the Voice of God. Some people :-D!

The_Mangler
September 11th, 2007, 10:02 PM
If you can't hear the sound because the device is busy, than logout and press "Ctrl + Alt + F1", then login and hear the sound, then logout and return to your graphical interface with "Ctrl + Alt + F7" and login.

That is cool !! :guitar:

The_Mangler
September 11th, 2007, 10:19 PM
Woooow, I just discovered another way !!!!

System -> Administration -> System Monitor

Then you can see all the processes

Select the process with the name "mixer_applet2" and click on "End Process" bottom-right

Now /dev/audio is free, just use it wisely

When you have finished playing with your audio device click on "Reload" to restart the Volume Control !!!


:twisted:

FurryNemesis
September 11th, 2007, 10:20 PM
At long last, my computer has a voice!

Now to find out how to compile a kernel so that it comes out as the tune of "Daisy, Daisy..."

Also, cat /etc/X11/xorg.conf > /dev/audio makes the coolest beep ever - at least for me.

Daveski
September 11th, 2007, 11:29 PM
How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, it's a hardware problem.