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Dayofswords
October 23rd, 2009, 07:01 AM
latest version
http://ubuntuforums.org/showpost.php?p=8178741&postcount=37

UPDATE:
"ok, tommorrow is the day before the day ubuntu 9.10 comes out soo i'm going to putting up for approval at school for posting


after read though this
http://www.ubuntu.com/aboutus/trademarkpolicy
it seems the images and logos are fine

this is my final version
anyone out there that wants to use it, use it, its all in the zip file(images, OpenDocument file). just follow the cc-by-sa in the zip file."



==old first post==
Today i started working on a flyer for the bulletin boards around my college so i spent a while making up this flyer.

I'd like your opinion on what i have so far, comments and ideas are welcome

Sooooooo, take a look


I'm still looking into image and trademark use to find out if they're ok



notes:
i removed my name and email.....thats why its templatey at bottom
Oh and i'm releasing it under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/us/
use it freely

schauerlich
October 23rd, 2009, 07:07 AM
Considering a non-trivial percentage of the people on my dorm floor only have a vague idea of what an operating system even is, I'm not sure your poster will be too effective. Just sayin'.

JillSwift
October 23rd, 2009, 07:10 AM
Not bad. I'd remove the Linux pronunciation bit - its clutter. Perhaps play up the live CD option a bit more, and re-label the section "No need to commit" or something along those lines (never mention fear).

A good raising of awareness for those who might be interested.:)

Dayofswords
October 23rd, 2009, 07:12 AM
Considering a non-trivial percentage of the people on my dorm floor only have a vague idea of what an operating system even is, I'm not sure your poster will be too effective. Just sayin'.


i was going to start at the computer science building =p

theeeennn, move my way out

misfitpierce
October 23rd, 2009, 07:13 AM
Its alright but could use a little sprucing up in my opinion like some Ubuntu watermarks or some nice borders that blend in or something. Also thought the release date was the 29th not the 28th... I mean its at the end of the 28th at midnight which is technically the 29th :P

mivo
October 23rd, 2009, 07:15 AM
You want to check on spelling and grammar before posting it. "Its" instead of "it's" and such.

Squonk07
October 23rd, 2009, 07:30 AM
Some of the other posts touch on this--the concept is noble, but the copy could use some editing. Specifically for spelling and grammar. I was going to list a few things to look at, but I figured it would be easier to just post a copy-edited version in Code blocks. I haven't changed any of the content--consider some of the suggestions listed above my post. I'm an English major, but that doesn't make me perfect. If you find anything glaringly wrong with my copy, don't hesitate to correct it! Also, I did this in Gedit, so check the spelling--preferably in OO.o. ;)


This Oct 28th, The Ubuntu Community will be releasing the newest version of the popular GNU/Linux-based distribution. It's called Ubuntu 9.10 “Karmic Koala.”

What's Ubuntu?

Ubuntu is an African word meaning "Humanity to others," or "I am what I am because of who we all are." The Ubuntu distribution brings the spirit of Ubuntu to the software world. Ubuntu strives for compatibility, ease of use and installation, and freedom of the software that you use.

Under the Hood?

Built around the Linux (LI-nuks) kernel, Ubuntu comes with office tools that work with formats that other big programs use. With the OpenOffice suite you can create any kind of essay, sideshow, spreadsheet, poster (such as this!), and much more that you'll need for school. Ubuntu also comes with the popular Mozilla Firefox for all your web browsing needs. Ubuntu comes with image editors, photo managers, music/video players, and hundreds of
software titles available for download. Security is of the highest degree and viruses are unheard of.

The Cost?

Free! Yes, free! Didn't hear me? FREE! Ubuntu is free and always will be. Updates and upgrades will be available to you at no cost. There is no product key for you to fill in and no limit on how many times you can install Ubuntu. After you're finished with the disc, you can give it to a friend. And your friend can use it however many times he/she likes, too!

The Catch?

None; use as you like. All that the developers would like is for you to enjoy the software. In fact, the software included allows you to view how it was made and what's going on inside.


Afraid of Commitment?

Ubuntu comes as a LiveCD, as in, you can try it out right from the CD, no
installation needed. If you like it enough, you can then install it.

Visit http://www.ubuntu.com for more information.
Visit http://www.ubuntu.com/getubuntu for details on getting Ubuntu.

haemulon
October 23rd, 2009, 07:46 AM
I'd change the part about the cost thus, (just a suggestion), I don't like that part about "didn't hear me"



The Cost?
FREE! Ubuntu is free and always will be. The updates and
upgrades will be available to you at no cost. There is no product key for you to fill in and no
limit on how many times you can install Ubuntu. After your finished with the disc, you can
give to a friend. And they can use however many times they like too!


I agree with the above poster about "Afraid of commitment?" should be changed.

For the posters not in the computer science dept. you might change the heading,



Microsoft's new Windows 7 not in your budget?
Want something new?

Pasdar
October 23rd, 2009, 08:14 AM
Too much text, no screenshots, maybe 10% is actually going to read your flyers... there is just no way someone is going to trade Win7 interface for the ugly gnome interface... so you might want to advertise Kubuntu instead or emphasize the customizability of ubuntu and also post screenshots of that.

X1R1
October 23rd, 2009, 08:31 AM
Too much text, no screenshots, maybe 10% is actually going to read your flyers... there is just no way someone is going to trade Win7 interface for the ugly gnome interface... so you might want to advertise Kubuntu instead or emphasize the customizability of ubuntu and also post screenshots of that.

totally agree, you could also mention the WUBI install, thats installing ubuntu inside windows, and definetly put up a nice screenshot in there.

Dayofswords
October 23rd, 2009, 08:36 AM
Too much text, no screenshots, maybe 10% is actually going to read your flyers... there is just no way someone is going to trade Win7 interface for the ugly gnome interface... so you might want to advertise Kubuntu instead or emphasize the customizability of ubuntu and also post screenshots of that.

i dont want to go into to kubuntu since that would just confuse new users on getting ubuntu, plus, i dont like kde

i am looking around for screenshots since i am not on ubuntu atm

i'm looking parts to add that important customizability part



totally agree, you could also mention the WUBI install, thats installing ubuntu inside windows, and definetly put up a nice screenshot in there.
i can only put up so much

EDIT:
i made a second version, it has pictures =)

sim-value
October 23rd, 2009, 08:55 AM
File Type: pdf ubuntuflyersmall.pdf (182.7 KB, 0 views)
File Type: pdf ubuntuflyer.pdf (128.0 KB, 0 views)
Lol !

anyway great idea and Great content !

OpenGuard
October 23rd, 2009, 09:01 AM
Microsoft part should be centered and it's font size decreased by ~15-25%. Overall, just another piece of information for those who know what Linux is ( believe me, you don't want to have people read all this stuff .. add at least one related picture, like a screenshot, gdm or whatever you find find to be the most describing one ).

Dayofswords
October 23rd, 2009, 09:25 AM
heres another one

Pasdar
October 23rd, 2009, 09:47 AM
You might not like the KDE look, but that look is what the general non-nerdy public likes... hence why win7 looks they way it does.

Dayofswords
October 23rd, 2009, 09:53 AM
You might now like the KDE look, but that look is what the general non-nerdy public likes... hence why win7 looks they way it does.


point taken
i'll consider it
windows is kinda like... shiny clean and pretty, one false move and you've smashed it.

wilee-nilee
October 23rd, 2009, 10:00 AM
The college I attend has a Linux mirror and several Linux labs, and it is part of the CS curriculum, I have one person waiting for a install right now, and another contemplating it. I have run into a few people dual-booting Linux and other OS's and know a few others that are CS majors who are ubergeeks on MS. Apple, and Linux. Really it seems that most of the people I have talked to just don't want to change; the computer is a magic box that they don't understand nor want to they just want to plug and play. The people who I know who have changed or are waiting just got tired of the problems with MS, but the problems they had were self inflicted in their not knowing how to avoid the social engineering or running their computers (XP) in administrative mode; and without any av protection. You might try to hold a clinic set it up with the CS people they should know about Linux if they are paying attention at all to OS. It is very difficult to get people on the open source wagon, even when you show them the benefits.

sudoer541
October 23rd, 2009, 05:03 PM
I think you should replace the word community with Canonical.ltd because if a company is behind something then people would think its more reliable than volunteers that do this for a hobby. just my humble opinion.
I think you should state where to get ubuntu and where to obtain CDs etc.
btw I like your work!

macogw
October 23rd, 2009, 06:50 PM
Don't forget to add your flier to spreadubuntu! Currently located at spreadubuntu.neomenlo.org

Dayofswords
October 24th, 2009, 08:48 AM
heres yet another update to the flyer

again, comments are nice

NE Key
October 24th, 2009, 09:00 AM
My thoughts (if you want them).

Cost paragraph - make it shorter. Just say "It's free, including upgrades". or something to the point.

The idea that you can test drive it without doing anything to your computer is not clear. Replace "no Commimen" heading with Test Drive Anytime"

Your end result will be of interest to all of us.

cguy
October 24th, 2009, 10:56 PM
The "didn't you hear me" part ruins it completely. :/

Also, "all that the developers want is for you to enjoy the software" <- Who are the developers? A bunch of men? Why would they build and give away this kinda thing for free? Is my data really safe?


Ubuntu comes with office tools that works with formats that other
big programs use, with the OpenOffice suite you can create
every kind of essay, sideshow, spreadsheet, poster(such as this!)


should be:


Ubuntu comes with office tools that work s with the formats that other
big programs use: with the OpenOffice.org suite you can create
every any kind of essay, slideshow, spreadsheet or poster(such as this one!)

Or even better, rephrase the "Ubuntu comes with office tools that works with formats that other
big programs use" part.
It doesn't sound natural and tells me about formats(???).
Say that it comes with office tools that are compatible with the commercial ones.


Along with all the software, there are a lot of ways to customize your computer to your liking.

sounds bad. Lose the "along with all the software" part


The Catch?
Ok, this is really bad; it makes one think that there is a catch. Let's read on and see what the catch is. Oh.. none.
Replace with
Is there a catch?


No Need to Commit.
Ubuntu comes as a LiveCD, as in, you can try it out right from the CD, no installation needed.

Too much information here. Wth is a LiveCD?
I'd replace it with (didn;t give much thought to my version, but still)

Give it a try!
It can run right from the CD, no installation needed and no changes to your computer!
Or, if you want to keep the composition, say it correctly:
"Ubuntu comes as a Live CD, which means that..."


This Oct 29th, The Ubuntu community will be releasing its newest version of the popular GNU/Linux-
based Distribution. Named Ubuntu 9.10 “Karmic Koala”.

VVV

On Oct 29th, Canonical and the Ubuntu community will be releasing a new version of its popular, Linux-based operating system: Ubuntu 9.10 “Karmic Koala”.


Ubuntu is an operating system that brings the spirit of freedom to the software world. Ubuntu strives
for compatibility, ease of use and installation, and freedom of your computer use.
The bolded part is both incorrect, grammatically speaking, and bad in the way it sounds (it repeats the idea of freedom too soon). You may want to say it otherwise.


The 1005th edit of this post :D :

What's Ubuntu?
is too unprofessional.
Say

What is Ubuntu?

Why is the following a question?

Under the hood?


The cost? Cost implies more than "price". Say "What is the price?" / "What is the cost?" / "How much is it?" / "How much does it cost?" etc.; anything, but not "The cost?"
Free! yes free! didn't hear me? FREE! Ubuntu is free and always will be. Too much emphasis on the word free; repeating it so many times doesn't have the expected effect. "didn't hear me?" <- baaad :) I won't get into detail; I'll just say that it's BAD
The updates and upgrades
will ALSO be available to you at no cost/for free. There is no product key for you to fill in and no limit on how many
times you can install Ubuntu it. After your you are (or you're (less professional), but not "your") finished with the disc, you can give it to your friends and they can use it however many times they like too! as many times as they want to



Need help?
Canonical Ltd, the people Company! who sponsor Ubuntu, offer You were talking about Canonical, which is one entity, so you must use OFFERS training and support for TO THE new users and
The Ubuntu forums ADDRESS?? are available for people who need a helping A helping what? A HELPING HAND! :D by FROM other Ubuntu users other users of Ubuntu.
But why do I need a helping hand from other Ubuntu users? It's not a happy statement

VVVVV

Need help?
Canonical Ltd, the company which sponsors Ubuntu, offers training and support to the new users.
The community at the Ubuntu forums (www.ubuntuforums.org) is always ready to help you out.


But can I use it?
Why is there a doubt?

I love your initiative, but try to get at least the grammar right. :)
Cheers!

Edit after edit after edit. I hope it's understandable.

Dayofswords
October 25th, 2009, 11:03 AM
here a new one with stuff i changed from the loooooong list above


i.... hope i got it all...

i couldn't figure out what to change "but can i use it?" to.

I love your initiative, but try to get at least the grammar right.
Cheers!

my grammer and spelling sucks, i'll find a way it mess it up

haemulon
October 25th, 2009, 11:45 AM
I'm glad you got rid of the "didn't hear me part", it sounded very awful to me.

Your current version along with the other changes is much better.

If students at other colleges print it out and distribute it also, this will be a very good way to promote the new Ubuntu.

Good work!

cguy
October 25th, 2009, 05:26 PM
On Oct 29th, Canonical and the Ubuntu community will be releasing a new version of its popular,
Linux-based operating system: Ubuntu 9.10 “Karmic Koala”.

You are talking about two entities now, so you have to replace "its" with "their". Still, I'd replace it with "the" which sounds friendlier to me.


Ubuntu brings the spirit of freedom to the
software world and it strives for compatibility, ease of use and installation, and freedom of your
computer use.

"freedom in the way you use your computer/in using your computer"


Linux is so secure, no comma here, please! that viruses are practically
unheard of. Ubuntu runs on nearly every computer This means that Ubuntu actually runs on most computers. "Ubuntu can run on almost any computer" -- Better and works
quite well on older computers that will not would not run Windows.



But can I use it?
The reason I say this is wrong is because you're almost setting a negative frame about Ubuntu.
Replace it with "It's easy to use" or anything similar and positive.


and much MANY more that you'll may need for school


Even more, it comes You're repeating "comes with" too many times. You can make it better by replacing this instance with "it also includes x, y.." with
image editors, photo managers, audio/video players, games and
hundreds of other software titles THAT are available for download.



There are a lot of ways to customize
your computer to your liking.

^^^ This should be in a new paragraph. (no empty line before it)


Free! yes free! Yes, free! Ubuntu is free and always will be. The updates and upgrades also will will also be available at
no cost. There is no product key for you to fill in and no limit on how many times you can install it.
After your you are finished with the disc, you can give it to a friend your friends and they can use it as many times as
they want to. Use either plural or singular here



None; There is none! this puts more emphasis on the idea than a single word does Use it as you like to. All that the developers would like is for you to enjoy the software. In fact,
most software that runs on Ubuntu will allow you to see how it was made.



If you like it enough, you can then install it onto your computer for use everyday. everyday use



Canonical Ltd, the company who "who" is used when we're talking about humans; replace with Which sponsors Ubuntu offers training and support for new users and Why the "and" at the end of the sentence? It's really inappropriate
The Ubuntu forums (http://www.ubuntuforums.org/) are available for people who need a helping hand by from
other users of Ubuntu Ubuntu users (!!!)




Created by <name>, email me at <email>. If you want to some help getting a hold of the CD, just ask.
Ubuntu is a registered trademark of Canonical Ltd. and and Linux is a trademark of Linus Torvalds. Images used with permission.

Also watch for the overlapping of these last paragraphs.

Dayofswords
October 26th, 2009, 08:35 AM
ok, i made those edits, here it is

cguy
October 26th, 2009, 11:01 AM
any kind of essay, slideshow, spreadsheet or
posterone space here(such as this one!) and many more


The updates and upgrades also will be available at no cost. There is no product key for you to fill in and no limitS on how many times you can install it

^^ Totally wrong. Please change it to "will also"


After your (this one is a common mistake) you are finished with the disc, you can give it to your friends and they too can use it as many times as they
want to.



There is none! use <- Capital U here it as you like to


Ubuntu comes with office tools office tools (<- typo here) that are compatible with the commercial ones



Created by <name>, email me at <email> Period here and start with a capital I since it's a different idea/sentence if you want some help getting of (remove of) the CD, just ask
I'm not sure if "getting" is wrong and should be replaced by "to get". Maybe someone else knows better.

I can't spot any more mistakes (ATM anyway :P )
I'm glad I could help.
Let us know the results! :)

Dayofswords
October 27th, 2009, 02:58 AM
i made the changes
i made it wider for sake of space, sooo yeah, its wider

toupeiro
October 27th, 2009, 03:03 AM
+1 I like it! If I were in college, I'd put it up all over the place.

cguy
October 27th, 2009, 04:30 AM
There is none! Use it as you like to. All that the developers would like is for you to enjoy the software. In
fact, most of the software that runs on Ubuntu will allow you to see how it was made.



Canonical Ltd, the company which sponsors Ubuntu

Is today the grand day? :)

Capt. Blackwood
October 27th, 2009, 04:34 AM
I like it. It's good, straight forward. And something "Big" companies lack, honest.

Good job.

Squonk07
October 27th, 2009, 04:45 AM
Something was nagging at me as I looked at each revision of this flier, and it finally hit me: that screenshot appears to be of Jaunty, not Karmic. Normally if you've seen one version of Ubuntu, you've seen them all. With Karmic, though, the default theme is quite different.

Just a thought.

It also occurred to me that this thread is sort of like how open source software development works: an initial program is written, then anyone and everyone can suggest features and fixes to make it better. This is kind of cool, actually.

Dayofswords
October 27th, 2009, 09:14 AM
Something was nagging at me as I looked at each revision of this flier, and it finally hit me: that screenshot appears to be of Jaunty, not Karmic. Normally if you've seen one version of Ubuntu, you've seen them all. With Karmic, though, the default theme is quite different.

yeaaaaahh, your right.

I'll have to hunt down a karmic or later when I'm on my laptop take a screenshot of my virtual karmic



It also occurred to me that this thread is sort of like how open source software development works: an initial program is written, then anyone and everyone can suggest features and fixes to make it better. This is kind of cool, actually.
oooh cool
didn't mean to but sweet

Exodist
October 27th, 2009, 09:27 AM
looks nice

JillSwift
October 27th, 2009, 09:35 AM
The flier is coming along beautifully. Don't forget to post your final =^_^=

Dayofswords
October 27th, 2009, 10:01 AM
if only i had made this earlier, but i can easily change it for a flier right after the release


vvvv newest =)

Dayofswords
October 28th, 2009, 06:24 AM
ok, tommorrow is the day before the day ubuntu 9.10 comes out soo i'm going to putting up for approval at school for posting


after read though this
http://www.ubuntu.com/aboutus/trademarkpolicy
it seems the images and logos are fine

this is my final version
anyone out there that wants to use it, use it, its all in the zip file(images, OpenDocument file). just follow the cc-by-sa in the zip file.

EDI: i messed up on the pdf, its now fixed

murderslastcrow
October 28th, 2009, 07:45 AM
It's a nice poster and outlines some of the main benefits with a good focus without promising too much. I think it's great, and I'm considering printing it out myself. Good job.