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View Full Version : A short story i wrote, let me kow what you think!



gnomerocks
July 21st, 2009, 05:12 AM
This is a short story I wrote, describing the cycle of day and night. May every sunset and every sunrise remind you of this little story:



Night is coming. Day is struggling, holding out as long as possible. The light fades, and shadows spread. In the strife, day's strength has dwindled, night's power rekindled. As he flees, day leaves to all this note, a promise: "again I'll come, and the darkness I shall lift". He writes it with color and texture, and the people behold this note, as night looks down upon, and vows to hide it from their view. But night is too late, for they've seen the note by now, but still she hides it within her darkness. Now the people wait, and in time, day returns with a new note: "never lose hope". He's kept his word, but all too soon, night comes again, and day rewrites his notes once more. He knows that every time, that night shall come, so every time, his notes he must rewrite, and once again his promise keep.





Most people miss these little notes, or even if they do see them, fail to realize the message, and just write it off as 'same old, same old'. What about you?

Ultimately, this cycle will end. That end will be the return of the Messiah, to set up his kingdom on the earth. Then, we will have no need for the sun, for His glory will be the light of the world forever more, and day and night will be done away with then.

God himself set the cycle of day and night in motion at creation, so until his return, there will be night, and there will be day. Scientists would have us believe the sun will burn out, and that is in part true. At the command of god himself, the sun will be replaced by the Son's light. Then, only then, and not a second before His time, the cycle can be ended.

Always look forward to tomorrow. It might just be the Son, and not the sun, that greets you tomorrow.



By gnomerocks,


Story teller, and Messianic Jewish believer

Exershio
July 21st, 2009, 06:19 AM
It's interesting, albeit a little too religious for my tastes. Isn't this kind of stuff banned in the Cafe?

frup
July 21st, 2009, 06:38 AM
I think it is pretentious. But then again, I think a lot of things are. :)

Ozor Mox
July 21st, 2009, 02:15 PM
It started off well, and then got way too religious for my liking.

The Toxic Mite
July 21st, 2009, 02:18 PM
That's an excellent story!

I really don't see why most people don't like it (I am the only person to vote "it's good!".)

Keep them coming! :D

tacantara
July 21st, 2009, 02:23 PM
God himself set the cycle of day and night in motion at creation, so until his return, there will be night, and there will be day. Scientists would have us believe the sun will burn out, and that is in part true. At the command of god himself, the sun will be replaced by the Son's light. Then, only then, and not a second before His time, the cycle can be ended.



Very interesting story. I just have one capitalization error to point out in the fourth verse (see the highlighted reference in the quoted passage above).