View Full Version : The Open Source Evil Overlord List - IT section

May 26th, 2009, 04:17 AM
Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. Of course, with the new digital age, every evil overlord will need a good IT department. Unfortunately, as one can watch in the movies (and books, but that's more of reading), some technical failure cause their entire plan to go kaput.

Upon looking at the old list, the overlord realized that some are out of date, or just cost too much. Thus, you have been hired to completely redo the evil overlord's system.

And just so you know, it will be passed through an average five-year-old child to spot any flaws.

So here's the things I thought of:
a) No Windows allow. Should they request windows, their brain will be uploaded with a choice of Windows ME or Windows Vista.
b) All USB drivers will be removed. Alternatively, any detection of USB-drives will cause automatic destructions.

So anyone else can think of ways to improve evil overlord's computer system?

May 26th, 2009, 04:26 AM
If merely inserting a USB stick into any one of the machines is enough to blow up the entire bad-guy base, then it would probably make sense to not have any USB sockets in any of the machines. Otherwise, all Windows 007 -- "a dry-ice Vista, new taskbar, not classic" -- has to do to destroy your plan to launch rockets at the moon or whatever is plug in his Zune.

May 26th, 2009, 04:36 AM
Block access to Facebook, bebo, twitter, myspace, youtube and any other social networking website at the firewalls.

Adopt a lovley communist concrete grey desktop background that is pushed out to everyone on the network via usergroup policy that cannot be changed.

May 26th, 2009, 04:36 AM
A clear grasp of English would be a good idea for any upstart Evil Overlord...

May 26th, 2009, 04:41 AM
A clear grasp of English would be a good idea for any upstart Evil Overlord...

Feed the employees/peons boiled dictionary for breakfast every tuesday wednesday and thursday

May 26th, 2009, 04:53 AM
Force users to change their 24 character passwords every 4 hours (whether they are present or not) for 'security reasons', then if they claim to have forgotten theirs insist it is because of their own stupidity and ban them from all access for 12 years.

May 26th, 2009, 05:01 AM
Don't install a big red self-destruct button.

May 26th, 2009, 05:15 AM
A card board box.