monsterstack
May 18th, 2009, 08:04 PM
I don't pretend to be good at Python: I'm pretty terrible, really. Still. Here's an automatic troll script for you all. Save the text as "whatever.py", and then run it with
python whatever.py -n # for trolling Linux users and their OS.
python whatever.py --nix #
python whatever.py -w # for trolling Windows users and their OS.
python whatever.py --win #
Everybody hates trolls. This is just a bit of fun to see if I could replicate the dumb things they say. So the next time you see a stupid troll post, just remember the guy who wrote it probably wouldn't pass the Turing Test.
#! /usr/bin/env python
#
# The Great GPL Autotroller! Now with added incoherence!
import getopt, sys, random, sys, string
# Nasty words for Microsoft and Windows:
msnouns = [ "M$", "microsuck", "*******", \
"winbloze", "winsuck", "win00bz", \
"winborg", "wincrud" ]
# Nasty words for Linux:
nixnouns = [ "lunix", "freetard lunix", "opensores", "poonix" ]
# Nasty words for users:
pronouns = [ "lusers", "fools", "idiots", \
"jerks", "fanbois", "poop-eaters", \
"morons", "prisoners", "lovers", "lamers" ]
# Nasty verbs for the failings of the OS.
obverbs = [ "sucks", "blows", "stinks", \
"fails", "runs like turd", \
"doesnt even work properly", "loses", \
"is not ready for the desktop" ]
# Nasty verbs for the failings of users.
ppverbs = [ "suck", "fail at life", "suck so hard", \
"lose at everything", "cant even use a terminal", \
"are stupid", "are lame", "smell bad" ]
# Additional adverbs. Because you really mean it.
adverbs = [ "...BADLY", "...BIG TIME", "so much", "seriously", \
"", "" ]
def main():
"""Using getopts and sys.argv, we get the terminal input and use it
to work out what trollish output the user desires."""
#
# First, try to get an option from the user.
try:
opts, args = getopt.getopt(sys.argv[1:], "nwh", ["win","nix","help"])
# If that fails, print an error message and the usage instructions.
except getopt.GetoptError, err:
print str(err)
usage()
sys.exit(2)
# Now parse the options and select the appropriate insult.
for o, a in opts:
if o in ("-n","--nix"):
return random.choice([angrytroll("nix")[0],angrytroll("nix")[1]])
sys.exit()
elif o in ("-w","--win"):
return random.choice([angrytroll("win")[0],angrytroll("win")[1]])
sys.exit()
elif o in ("-h", "--help"):
usage()
sys.exit()
else:
assert False, "unhandled option"
def usage():
"""Prints simple usage instructions."""
print """Use -n for a Linux troll, and -w for a Windows troll.
Example: python supertroll.py -n"""
############################
# TROLL LOGIC STARTS HERE! #
############################
def angrytroll(choice):
"""First insult: noun verb adverb.
Second insult: noun pronoun person-verb adverb."""
if choice == "win":
a = str(random.choice(msnouns))
elif choice == "nix":
a = str(random.choice(nixnouns))
b = str(random.choice(obverbs))
c = str(random.choice(adverbs))
insult1 = " ".join([a,b,c])
if choice == "win":
a = str(random.choice(msnouns))
elif choice == "nix":
a = str(random.choice(nixnouns))
b = str(random.choice(pronouns))
c = str(random.choice(ppverbs))
d = str(random.choice(adverbs))
insult2 = " ".join([a,b,c,d])
list = [ insult1, insult2 ]
return list
if __name__ == "__main__":
print main()
Please go right ahead and make it better if you like.
python whatever.py -n # for trolling Linux users and their OS.
python whatever.py --nix #
python whatever.py -w # for trolling Windows users and their OS.
python whatever.py --win #
Everybody hates trolls. This is just a bit of fun to see if I could replicate the dumb things they say. So the next time you see a stupid troll post, just remember the guy who wrote it probably wouldn't pass the Turing Test.
#! /usr/bin/env python
#
# The Great GPL Autotroller! Now with added incoherence!
import getopt, sys, random, sys, string
# Nasty words for Microsoft and Windows:
msnouns = [ "M$", "microsuck", "*******", \
"winbloze", "winsuck", "win00bz", \
"winborg", "wincrud" ]
# Nasty words for Linux:
nixnouns = [ "lunix", "freetard lunix", "opensores", "poonix" ]
# Nasty words for users:
pronouns = [ "lusers", "fools", "idiots", \
"jerks", "fanbois", "poop-eaters", \
"morons", "prisoners", "lovers", "lamers" ]
# Nasty verbs for the failings of the OS.
obverbs = [ "sucks", "blows", "stinks", \
"fails", "runs like turd", \
"doesnt even work properly", "loses", \
"is not ready for the desktop" ]
# Nasty verbs for the failings of users.
ppverbs = [ "suck", "fail at life", "suck so hard", \
"lose at everything", "cant even use a terminal", \
"are stupid", "are lame", "smell bad" ]
# Additional adverbs. Because you really mean it.
adverbs = [ "...BADLY", "...BIG TIME", "so much", "seriously", \
"", "" ]
def main():
"""Using getopts and sys.argv, we get the terminal input and use it
to work out what trollish output the user desires."""
#
# First, try to get an option from the user.
try:
opts, args = getopt.getopt(sys.argv[1:], "nwh", ["win","nix","help"])
# If that fails, print an error message and the usage instructions.
except getopt.GetoptError, err:
print str(err)
usage()
sys.exit(2)
# Now parse the options and select the appropriate insult.
for o, a in opts:
if o in ("-n","--nix"):
return random.choice([angrytroll("nix")[0],angrytroll("nix")[1]])
sys.exit()
elif o in ("-w","--win"):
return random.choice([angrytroll("win")[0],angrytroll("win")[1]])
sys.exit()
elif o in ("-h", "--help"):
usage()
sys.exit()
else:
assert False, "unhandled option"
def usage():
"""Prints simple usage instructions."""
print """Use -n for a Linux troll, and -w for a Windows troll.
Example: python supertroll.py -n"""
############################
# TROLL LOGIC STARTS HERE! #
############################
def angrytroll(choice):
"""First insult: noun verb adverb.
Second insult: noun pronoun person-verb adverb."""
if choice == "win":
a = str(random.choice(msnouns))
elif choice == "nix":
a = str(random.choice(nixnouns))
b = str(random.choice(obverbs))
c = str(random.choice(adverbs))
insult1 = " ".join([a,b,c])
if choice == "win":
a = str(random.choice(msnouns))
elif choice == "nix":
a = str(random.choice(nixnouns))
b = str(random.choice(pronouns))
c = str(random.choice(ppverbs))
d = str(random.choice(adverbs))
insult2 = " ".join([a,b,c,d])
list = [ insult1, insult2 ]
return list
if __name__ == "__main__":
print main()
Please go right ahead and make it better if you like.