What's your machine's manhood?

[monsterstack]

Linux users seem to love stats. A good conky thread will prove that. Lots of users here also show off some tasty stats in their signatures. All well and good. But how about we test our machines to see who has the manliest machine of all?


echo `uptime|grep days|sed 's/.*up \([0-9]*\) day.*/\1\/10+/'; cat /proc/cpuinfo|grep '^cpu MHz'|awk '{print $4"/30 +";}';free|grep '^Mem'|awk '{print $3"/1024/3+"}'; df -P -k -x nfs -x smbfs | grep -v '(1k|1024)-blocks' | awk '{if ($1 ~ "/dev/(scsi|sd)"){ s+= $2} s+= $2;} END {print s/1024/50"/15+70";}'`|bc|sed 's/\(.$\)/.\1cm/'

I'm operating at 108.0 cm. How about you?

[Sealbhach]

119.1cm

.

[MikeTheC]

My computer's manhood can out-fly and out-shoot your computer's manhood any day of the week! :p


And here it is...

http://www.thewellers.com/twiki/twiki4.jpg

[monsterstack]

:rolleyes:

[sports fan Matt]

203.5cm

[monsterstack]

We have a new leader.

I wonder if anyone has an old server that's been running for years lying around. That might turn out to be manlier still!

[OutOfReach]

darn 150.0cm

[klange]

86.4cm
Congratulations, you've emasculated my server.

[tubezninja]

wow... 819.5cm

:D

In case you were wondering: Intel Core2Quad Q9400 processor, 4GB of RAM, 1.75TB of hard drive space. Only about 20 days of uptime however.

[InfinityCircuit]

Damn, I was hoping I could get 1st with my 238.1 cm but it was not to be!

[-grubby]

Wow, my VPS gets 52.5 CM. I'm not even sure if it's male at this point.

[monsterstack]

wow... 819.5cm

:D

In case you were wondering: Intel Core2Quad Q9400 processor, 4GB of RAM, 1.75TB of hard drive space. Only about 20 days of uptime however.

Incredible stuff! Looks like we have a clear leader!

[FuturePilot]

I got 229.8cm

[MaxIBoy]

Server: http://pastebin.com/f72d379c2


Laptop: http://pastebin.com/f2e0c8a28


Desktop: [currently broken, pending new motherboard]

[fedex1993]

I got 53.5cm on my VPS.

[Calmatory]

96.9 cm with 6 days of uptime and hardware @ sig. :)

[kostkon]

Ah cr*p! Only

38.0cm

I had an uptime of 28 days until a kernel update killed it some days ago...

[monsterstack]

Interesting results everybody. Dreams have been shattered, hopes have been lost, male self-confidence torn to shreds. Who will emerge victorious?

[MikeTheC]

207.2cm here, not that I have the foggiest what the result actually *really* means.

[Keithhed]

290.9cm, is there a masculinity scale attached? like:

under 100 = do you have a heartbeat?
100 - 200 = average joe
200 - 300 = Vin Diesel
300 - 400 = Ubermensch
400 + = Chuck Norris

[steev182]

426.3cm

[Sealbhach]

207.2cm here, not that I have the foggiest what the result actually *really* means.

I think it measures

uptime
processor power
ram
disk size

and creates a result in cm based on these readings.

.

[crl0901]

270.2 here.

[Eviltechie]

196.0cm

It would be interesting to see what the stats are for the LUG and my hosting server are.

[Einsamkeit]

66.9cm :(
But you know what they say: It's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean that counts. ;)

[Sealbhach]

66.9cm :(
but you know what they say: It's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean that counts. ;)


lol :)

.

[MikeTheC]

Where are the Ubuntu female geeks when you need them? ;)

[monsterstack]

I think it measures

uptime
processor power
ram
disk size

and creates a result in cm based on these readings.

.

That's my understanding of it too. Please note I didn't make this myself: I found it posted someplace a while back. It could do with a bit of explanation. Here's my best effort:


echo `uptime|grep days|sed 's/.*up \([0-9]*\) day.*/\1\/10+/'`

First it takes the number of days your system has been up and divides it by ten. Then it adds it to this:


cat /proc/cpuinfo|grep '^cpu MHz'|awk '{print $4"/30 +";}'

Which takes the Mhz of your processors and divides them by thirty, and then adds them to:


free|grep '^Mem'|awk '{print $3"/1024/3+"}'

Which takes the free megabytes of your system, divides them by three, and adds it to:


df -P -k -x nfs -x smbfs | grep -v '(1k|1024)-blocks' | awk '{if ($1 ~ "/dev/(scsi|sd)"){ s+= $2} s+= $2;} END {print s/1024/50"/15+70";}'``

which takes the filesystems on your computer, finds the unused blocks, adds them together, divides them by fifty, divides them by fifteen and adds seventy. Finally, it performs a bit of arithmetic with


stuff|bc|sed 's/\(.$\)/.\1cm/'

which works it all out for you and gives you a handy centimetre output.

At least it's something along those lines, anyhow.

[MaxIBoy]

Looking at the script, I think this is how it works:


Take the number of days in the uptime (hours and minutes don't count.) Divide it by ten, add it to the total.
Take the MHz of the CPU, divide it by 30, add it to the total. Repeat this for every CPU/core. (NOTE! This script does not take into account CPU scaling, so on laptops with on-demand scaling, the answer will reflect how much load your CPU is under at the time.)
Take the amount of free memory in Kb, divide it by 1024, then divide it again by 3. Add this number to the total.
Get info on all the filesystems mounted (excluding network ones.) Add up the number of blocks in each filesystem (add double the amount if it's a SCSI or SATA drive.) Divide this number by 1024, then by 50, then by 15, and add 70. Add this number to the total. I'm pretty sure it goes for total blocks, not free blocks.
Divide the total by 10, and that's your answer.


Wow, I have homework to do.

[monsterstack]

Looking at the script, I think this is how it works:


Take the number of days in the uptime (hours and minutes don't count.) Divide it by ten, add it to the total.
Take the MHz of the CPU, divide it by 30, add it to the total. Repeat this for every CPU/core. (NOTE! This script does not take into account CPU scaling, so on laptops with on-demand scaling, the answer will reflect how much load your CPU is under at the time.)
Take the amount of free memory in Kb, divide it by 1024, then divide it again by 3. Add this number to the total.
Get info on all the filesystems mounted (excluding network ones.) Add up the number of blocks in each filesystem (add double the amount if it's a SCSI or SATA drive.) Divide this number by 1024, then by 50, then by 15, and add 70. Add this number to the total. I'm pretty sure it goes for total blocks, not free blocks.
Divide the total by 10, and that's your answer.


Wow, I have homework to do.

Thanks. That's a little bit easier to digest than my lousy explanation.

[MaxIBoy]

Since the CPU is clocked higher under greater load, I decided to run Super-Pi while the test was taking place. Result: 138 cm, which is 5.3 cm longer.

However, the clock speed of the CPU isn't an accurate measure of performance. In fact, CPU makers should really get with the program and figure out ways to clock their CPUs lower, instead of driving up a meaningless statistic. (Joking-- this isn't a serious benchmark anyway.)

[Keithhed]

Maxi, i got a similar result 292.5cm under load. playing a video and running deluge in the background. so less than 2cm "length" increase. or would it be height?

[HappyFeet]

261.9

[pat23_2007]

276.8cm

[Sef]

Locked for too many violations of the Ubuntu Code of Conduct #6 (http://ubuntuforums.org/index.php?page=policy) besides this thread's title is questionable.


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