Isilion
April 22nd, 2009, 01:57 AM
hi. this is a personal history. i feel the need of talk of this with someone, the more the merrier. perhaps one of you are in a situation simmilar to mine, or knows someone who does, or have even heard about Eschizofrenia. people who have the illness, like me, often need someone to lend at hand to him. i've noticed that linux users feel the need of help any other user who need help. i wonder if you can help me with this too, since it's not any kind of problem related to computers, it's a problem with my life.
i will try to tell you all the things i remember that happened to me, to take me to this point. the best way to get ill of Eschizophrenia, as i found at google, is being genetically vulnerable and suffering a long period of stress and/or depresions. the chances grew if you take drugs. both of my parents have been on treatment for depresions.. and as a lot of teens these days i consumed alcohol and other drugs in the pasted years.
the most significative things happened were:
-at 7 my parents divorced, and father went to another city and created another family. i still having contact with my bloodbrother.
-at 10 my father died. it drowned me to a child depression.
-at 12 i changed to highschool and was the target of lots of bullys
-at 13 i started drinking alcohol at weekends. in that year i started to smoke, not only tobacco.
-at 14-15 i had an acne problem, and i started taking Roakutan (i can't believe that can be sold in a pharmacy as a medicament. see the prospect)
-at 16 most days i arrived drunk at home, even when it weren't weekend.
-at 17 i met my first girlfriend.
-at 18 i started trying harder drugs.
-at 19 my girlfriend and i cut. i feel so depressed that i tryed to commite suicide. i woke up in hospital and there the medics diagnosticated me as Eschizophrenic.
it have passed 4 years from that. i have not been able to complete a whole academic year since that. at 19 i was universitary, but last two years i had to choose an easyer career, oriented to proffesional formation. i have not been able to get a job to last more than 3 months. and i have lost many friends, since esquiz people tends to aislament and to not know how to handle correctly their friends.
today i went to my psichiatrist. he noted me down and told me to start again a treatment with antidepresives. i don't like them, i don't feel "human" taking them :S
secondaryes effects of fluoxetine (prozac) are anxiety, insomnium, euphoria, tremors or headaches. i took em before. plus, i don't feel free with a treatment. most "medicines" have worst secondary effects that the illness properly. until the moment i have consumed daily, these medicaments (names are spanish ones):
zyprexa (neuroleptic)
haloperidol (neuroleptic)
prozac (antidepresive)
solian (neuroleptic)
metalorazepan (think hard neuroleptic)
myolastan (it's not for schizo's, but have sedative secondaries effects)
cymbalta (antidepresive)
akineton (for tremors)
lorazepam (for anxiety)
aspirines (for headaches)
i really doubt that any of that had enhanced my life quality. i have desarrollated tolerance to some of them, and i need to take double dosis of prozac than a normal person need.
at this moment i have various problems, like no job, no superior studies, no money, no hope, even no will to come out of my room. it's said that any problems makes patent and resoluble if many eyes are looking at it. so i ask you to tell me what can i do to have a better live.
Thanks
i will try to tell you all the things i remember that happened to me, to take me to this point. the best way to get ill of Eschizophrenia, as i found at google, is being genetically vulnerable and suffering a long period of stress and/or depresions. the chances grew if you take drugs. both of my parents have been on treatment for depresions.. and as a lot of teens these days i consumed alcohol and other drugs in the pasted years.
the most significative things happened were:
-at 7 my parents divorced, and father went to another city and created another family. i still having contact with my bloodbrother.
-at 10 my father died. it drowned me to a child depression.
-at 12 i changed to highschool and was the target of lots of bullys
-at 13 i started drinking alcohol at weekends. in that year i started to smoke, not only tobacco.
-at 14-15 i had an acne problem, and i started taking Roakutan (i can't believe that can be sold in a pharmacy as a medicament. see the prospect)
-at 16 most days i arrived drunk at home, even when it weren't weekend.
-at 17 i met my first girlfriend.
-at 18 i started trying harder drugs.
-at 19 my girlfriend and i cut. i feel so depressed that i tryed to commite suicide. i woke up in hospital and there the medics diagnosticated me as Eschizophrenic.
it have passed 4 years from that. i have not been able to complete a whole academic year since that. at 19 i was universitary, but last two years i had to choose an easyer career, oriented to proffesional formation. i have not been able to get a job to last more than 3 months. and i have lost many friends, since esquiz people tends to aislament and to not know how to handle correctly their friends.
today i went to my psichiatrist. he noted me down and told me to start again a treatment with antidepresives. i don't like them, i don't feel "human" taking them :S
secondaryes effects of fluoxetine (prozac) are anxiety, insomnium, euphoria, tremors or headaches. i took em before. plus, i don't feel free with a treatment. most "medicines" have worst secondary effects that the illness properly. until the moment i have consumed daily, these medicaments (names are spanish ones):
zyprexa (neuroleptic)
haloperidol (neuroleptic)
prozac (antidepresive)
solian (neuroleptic)
metalorazepan (think hard neuroleptic)
myolastan (it's not for schizo's, but have sedative secondaries effects)
cymbalta (antidepresive)
akineton (for tremors)
lorazepam (for anxiety)
aspirines (for headaches)
i really doubt that any of that had enhanced my life quality. i have desarrollated tolerance to some of them, and i need to take double dosis of prozac than a normal person need.
at this moment i have various problems, like no job, no superior studies, no money, no hope, even no will to come out of my room. it's said that any problems makes patent and resoluble if many eyes are looking at it. so i ask you to tell me what can i do to have a better live.
Thanks