View Full Version : Funniest Fortune Quote
sekinto
April 9th, 2009, 07:44 AM
You know that little app called Fortune that gives you a little quote, joke or weird bit of text every time you log into a console? Well, post the funniest thing it has said to you here.
I got this one today, sounds awfully dirty to me:
You're being followed. Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.
yabbadabbadont
April 9th, 2009, 08:26 AM
All of my favorite ones are not safe for work. (and would be censored by the forum software anyway ;))
sekinto
April 9th, 2009, 08:46 AM
All of my favorite ones are not safe for work. (and would be censored by the forum software anyway ;))
Now I'm curious. I have yet to come across one of these.
Here are some more of my favourites:
Give me shell access or give me /dev/null
Good girls may go to heaven but bad girls go everywhere.
Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer are
called hardware; those program instructions that you can only
curse at are called software
-- anonymous
You have a strong appeal for members of your own sex.
Edit:
I just realised that I needed to install the fortunes-off package to get offensive fortunes, and after reading the man page it appears that the -o flag only gives you offensive messages. I'm gonna have a fun time with this! (I even have the Animal Farm applet for Avant Window Navigator so fortunes are only a click away!)
lemuriaX
April 9th, 2009, 08:53 AM
This one is one of my faves:
The camel died quite suddenly on the second day, and Selena fretted
sullenly and, buffing her already impeccable nails -- not for the first
time since the journey begain -- pondered snidely if this would dissolve
into a vignette of minor inconveniences like all the other holidays spent
with Basil.
-- Winning sentence, 1983 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
pmlxuser
April 9th, 2009, 08:56 AM
So this is it. We're going to die.
Nothing beats that ;)
billgoldberg
April 9th, 2009, 11:02 AM
Mine said "TOGTFO" to me today.
I did not comply.
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