Good MOTDs

[Eviltechie]

Does anyone have good MOTD for server/ssh logins?

You know, something like.

THIS IS A PRIVATE SYSTEM. ALL ACCESS ATTEMPTS ARE LOGGED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

--Foo Inc. Network Security

[Dr Small]

Here was one I came up for my server. I was playing it kinda funny :D

__ _
_ __ ___ _ _ ___ _ __ ___ / _| |_ ___ ___ _ ____ _____ _ __
| '_ ` _ \| | | |/ __| '__/ _ \| |_| __| / __|/ _ \ '__\ \ / / _ \ '__|
| | | | | | |_| | (__| | | (_) | _| |_ \__ \ __/ | \ V / __/ |
|_| |_| |_|\__, |\___|_| \___/|_| \__| |___/\___|_| \_/ \___|_|
Debian 4.0|___/ Keybased Authentication Only
__________________________________________________ _____________________
(_________________________________________________ ______________________)

AUTHORIZED PERSONEL ONLY. THIS SERVER IS HEREBY PRIVATE PROPERTY OF
DRSMALL. UNAUTHORIZED ATTEMPTED LOGINS ARE LOGGED AND REPORTED. IF
YOU SHOULD HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, FEEL FREE TO CONTACT DRSMALL AT THE
FOLLOWING EMAIL ADDRESS: DRSMALL@MYCROFTSERVER.HOMELINUX.ORG

MYCROFTSERVER IS NOT PUBLIC PROPERTY AND DOES NOT BELONG TO ANY
STATE/PROVIDENCE OR GOVERNMENT. IF YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO ACCESS
THIS SYSTEM, LOGOFF NOW! THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING.
__________________________________________________ _____________________
(_________________________________________________ ______________________)



I would like to see what everyone else does, to give me some better ideas! ;)

[Eviltechie]

Nice! what did you use to make the ASSCII art?

[Dr Small]

Nice! what did you use to make the ASSCII art?
figlet ;)

[-grubby]

For my VPS, it is :



Linux grubbn.org 2.6.28-x86_64-linode3 #1 SMP Mon Dec 29 15:54:08 EST 2008 x86_64

================================================== ===================
Welcome to the GrubbN community VPS server.
For information on userspaces and accounts, (including usage rules),
please visit:
http://grubbn.org/wiki/GrubbN:Userspaces

For system status and uptime:
http://grubbn.org/phpsysinfo/

Questions? Contact the server admins:
nathan@grubbn.org
{REMOVED}@gmail.com
================================================== ===================

[jenkinbr]

Nice! what did you use to make the ASSCII art?


figlet ;)

I personally use toilet - the only difference between figlet and toilet is toilet can do color, while figlet is plain (no color).

[Dr Small]

I personally use toilet - the only difference between figlet and toilet is toilet can do color, while figlet is plain (no color).
I tried toilet, except the problem is that it uses unicode. I never could get unicode characters to show in my terminal, so it wouldn't work for me.

[Grant A.]

All your base are belong to us!


I use it for my private TMW LAN server's MOTD.

[jenkinbr]

I tried toilet, except the problem is that it uses unicode. I never could get unicode characters to show in my terminal, so it wouldn't work for me.

speaking of unicode...
darn MP3 player won't read MP3 metadata encoded in utf-8. Always needs to be opened in WinAmp on windows, select all the new files, and update thier tags without actually changing anything.

toilet is unicode-only? never knew...

[Dr Small]

I use it for my private TMW LAN server's MOTD.
That's illegal. Openbox uses that!

How are you gentlemen? All your base are belong to us. (Openbox received signal 11)

[FuturePilot]

My server


************************************************** *************************
NOTICE TO USERS


This computer system is the private property of its owner, whether
individual, corporate or government. It is for authorized use only.
Users (authorized or unauthorized) have no explicit or implicit
expectation of privacy.

Any or all uses of this system and all files on this system may be
intercepted, monitored, recorded, copied, audited, inspected, and
disclosed to your employer, to authorized site, government, and law
enforcement personnel, as well as authorized officials of government
agencies, both domestic and foreign.

By using this system, the user consents to such interception, monitoring,
recording, copying, auditing, inspection, and disclosure at the
discretion of such personnel or officials. Unauthorized or improper use
of this system may result in civil and criminal penalties and
administrative or disciplinary action, as appropriate. By continuing to
use this system you indicate your awareness of and consent to these terms
and conditions of use. LOG OFF IMMEDIATELY if you do not agree to the
conditions stated in this warning.

************************************************** **************************

I took it from here https://help.ubuntu.com/community/AdvancedOpenSSH

[Dr Small]

My server



I took it from here https://help.ubuntu.com/community/AdvancedOpenSSH
I was going to say... I've read that before! ;)

[p_quarles]

Before reinstalling, mine said:

Welcome to `hostname`, running Debian GNU/Linux Lenny, `uname -r`
Please deposit two beers to continue.

[Frak]

************************************************** *
Half-Life: Full-life Consequences

John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.

John Freeman got his computer shut down and wet on the platform to go up to the roof of the building where he left his motorcycle and normal people close because he was in his office lab coat. John Freeman got on his motorcycl and said "its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences" so he had to go.

John Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed. He kept driving down the road and made sure there was no zombies around because he ddint have weapon.

The contrysides were nice and the plants were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for John Freemans quest to help his brother where he was. John Freeman looked around the countrysides and said "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys".

John Freeman was late so he had to drive really fast. A cop car was hiden near by so when John Freeman went by the cops came and wanted to give him a ticket. Here John Freeman saw the first monster because the cop was posessed and had headcrabs.

"I cant give you my lisense officer" John Freeman said

"Why not?" said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman.

"Because you are headcrab zombie" so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking "my brother is in trouble there" and went faster.

John Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because Gordon needed him where he was. John Freeman looked at road signs and saw "Ravenholm" with someons writing under it saying "u shudnt come here" so John Freeman almost turned around but heard screaming like Gordon so he went faster again.

John Freeman drove in and did another flip n jumped off his motorbike and the motor bike took out some headcrab zombies infront of John Freeman. John Freeman smiled and walked fast. John Freeman then looked on the ground and found wepon so he pickd it up and fired fast at zombie goasts in front of a house.

John Freeman said "Zombie goasts leave this place" and the zombie goasts said "but this is our house" and John Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were zombie goasts so he blew up the house and killed the zombie goasts so they were at piece.

Then John Freeman herd another scream from his brother so he kept walking really faster to get where he was. Ravenholdm was nothing like the countrysides there was no birds singing and the pants were dead and teh dirt was messy and bloody from headcrabs.

When John Freeman got to where the screaming was started from he found his brother Gorden Freeman fightin the final bosss and Gordon said "John Freeman! Over here!" so John Freeman went there to where Gordon Freeman was fighting. John Freeman fired his bullet from teh gun really fast and the bullets went and shot the final boss in the eyes and the final boss couldnt see.

Gordon Freeman said "its time to end this ones and for all!" and punched the final boss in the face and the final boss fell. John Freeman said "thanks i could help, bro" and Gordon Freeman said "you should come here earlier next time" and they laughed.

The laughed overed quickly though because John Freeman yelled "LOOK OUT BRO!" and pointed up to the top of the sky. Gordon Freeman looked up and said "NOO! John Freeman run out of here fast as you can!" and John Freeman walked real fast out.

John Freeman loked back and saw Gordon get steppd on by the next boss and he was mad and angry.

"I'll get you back evil boss!" John Freeman yelled at the top of lungs.

to be continued..?
************************************************** *

That's actually just on a web page since I've scripted everything down to a web interface.

I just read it for the lulz.

[etnlIcarus]

Warning: this server is admin'd by the comic book store guy. Unauthorized access attempts will be met with scathing sarcasm. Before attempting to hack any passwords, be sure to brush up on your 80's movie trivia and D&D 4th Edition rules. All your most freaky porn links MUST be shared or you will be BANNED.

[p_quarles]

Warning: this server is admin'd by the comic book store guy.
Worst. Server. Ever.

[mcduck]

I prefer the traditional fortune. Actually, "fortune -as" as I don't want it to be too long, and I find the offensive fortunes very funny. :)

[Eviltechie]

Bump

[cybiko123]

Bump x2.

[fedex1993]

Here is my MOTD for my VPS

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Welcome to Mindsuv private VPS server.
Authorized personel only. Unauthorized attempted logins are logged and
reported.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

[Eviltechie]

Here was one I came up for my server. I was playing it kinda funny :D

__ _
_ __ ___ _ _ ___ _ __ ___ / _| |_ ___ ___ _ ____ _____ _ __
| '_ ` _ \| | | |/ __| '__/ _ \| |_| __| / __|/ _ \ '__\ \ / / _ \ '__|
| | | | | | |_| | (__| | | (_) | _| |_ \__ \ __/ | \ V / __/ |
|_| |_| |_|\__, |\___|_| \___/|_| \__| |___/\___|_| \_/ \___|_|
Debian 4.0|___/ Keybased Authentication Only
__________________________________________________ _____________________
(_________________________________________________ ______________________)

AUTHORIZED PERSONEL ONLY. THIS SERVER IS HEREBY PRIVATE PROPERTY OF
DRSMALL. UNAUTHORIZED ATTEMPTED LOGINS ARE LOGGED AND REPORTED. IF
YOU SHOULD HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, FEEL FREE TO CONTACT DRSMALL AT THE
FOLLOWING EMAIL ADDRESS: DRSMALL@MYCROFTSERVER.HOMELINUX.ORG

MYCROFTSERVER IS NOT PUBLIC PROPERTY AND DOES NOT BELONG TO ANY
STATE/PROVIDENCE OR GOVERNMENT. IF YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO ACCESS
THIS SYSTEM, LOGOFF NOW! THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING.
__________________________________________________ _____________________
(_________________________________________________ ______________________)



I would like to see what everyone else does, to give me some better ideas! ;)


I went with this one, but I change mycroft to Warning!