rjwood
December 10th, 2005, 09:39 AM
I elected to post this here for the exposure. So anyone who needs to see it can. If I am incorrect-please forgive me and move it to the more appropriate place. Thank you!!
The Holiday season is wonderful,amusing and fun for most of us, most of the time. I enjoy it immensely these day's, though it has not alway's been that way.
I was reminded of this the other day as I noticed a familiar look on the face of my 17 year old daughter.
Me: "Is everything ok"
Her: "Sure dad, everthing is good-why"?
Me:"You look a little off, That's all"
Her: "Oh well, you know sometimes we all get a little down"
Me: "Yea, me too. Do you need to talk"?
Her: "I don't think so. But I'll let you know if I want to".
Me: "OK, I love you".
Her: "Thanks dad,I love you too".
She went upstairs and I began to ponder why that look seemed so familiar to me. After awhile it came to me. Holiday's!!
I began to reflect on my past holiday experiences, and remembered reading once that suicide rates increase during this time of year and wondered why. There are probably many reasons why. My job at this moment was to try to focus in on my daughter. I know her history and I know our family history reguarding our relationships within our family members. I don't of course know all but, I do know that each member of our family has a sense of responsability toward one another and , what I may not know, one of my other 3 daughters or my son probably does. If there was a more personnel type of difficulty I am confident she would have shared it with one of them if not me or my wife.
Anyway we were all together for dinner a few day's later and I had decided to share my thoughts on holiday blues.
I shared the difficulties with feelings I had had during different stages in my life.
From the sheer joy as a child to the feelings of selfishness as an adolescent to the feelings of missing family and friends while away in the military to feeling the pressure of providing proper holiday events for my children to now of trying to be aware of their feelings.
What I wanted them to know is that these feelings are normal for us as we pass through various stages of our lives. As we grow, we leave behind a history of ourselves and, as we look behind us we mourn the loss of part of our life that can now be only a memory. The holiday's therefore sometimes remind us of what we no longer are.
There is alway's good news though, and that is, when we are ready to turn around again we see the future and the new possibilities that await us. We have also learned something about ourselves and that is that we are strong and made it through a difficult time. So, the next time we can remember our strength. Then of course we realise it is now our time to teach.
I wanted to share this story here because There are alot of young people who participate in these forums. You may be away from your family and/or friends or you just may be feeling left out or just plain out of it.. That is ok and quite normal. Let yourself experience your feelings and welcome them. Cry if you need to- laugh when you can- and the ride will change slowly and then before you know it - there will be a new day! You will be wiser and so rejuvenated that you hardly will be able to stand it. I find comfort in knowing that the deeper I go under, the higher I go when I come out of it.
Be safe----Be well!
Happy Holiday's!!!
rj
The Holiday season is wonderful,amusing and fun for most of us, most of the time. I enjoy it immensely these day's, though it has not alway's been that way.
I was reminded of this the other day as I noticed a familiar look on the face of my 17 year old daughter.
Me: "Is everything ok"
Her: "Sure dad, everthing is good-why"?
Me:"You look a little off, That's all"
Her: "Oh well, you know sometimes we all get a little down"
Me: "Yea, me too. Do you need to talk"?
Her: "I don't think so. But I'll let you know if I want to".
Me: "OK, I love you".
Her: "Thanks dad,I love you too".
She went upstairs and I began to ponder why that look seemed so familiar to me. After awhile it came to me. Holiday's!!
I began to reflect on my past holiday experiences, and remembered reading once that suicide rates increase during this time of year and wondered why. There are probably many reasons why. My job at this moment was to try to focus in on my daughter. I know her history and I know our family history reguarding our relationships within our family members. I don't of course know all but, I do know that each member of our family has a sense of responsability toward one another and , what I may not know, one of my other 3 daughters or my son probably does. If there was a more personnel type of difficulty I am confident she would have shared it with one of them if not me or my wife.
Anyway we were all together for dinner a few day's later and I had decided to share my thoughts on holiday blues.
I shared the difficulties with feelings I had had during different stages in my life.
From the sheer joy as a child to the feelings of selfishness as an adolescent to the feelings of missing family and friends while away in the military to feeling the pressure of providing proper holiday events for my children to now of trying to be aware of their feelings.
What I wanted them to know is that these feelings are normal for us as we pass through various stages of our lives. As we grow, we leave behind a history of ourselves and, as we look behind us we mourn the loss of part of our life that can now be only a memory. The holiday's therefore sometimes remind us of what we no longer are.
There is alway's good news though, and that is, when we are ready to turn around again we see the future and the new possibilities that await us. We have also learned something about ourselves and that is that we are strong and made it through a difficult time. So, the next time we can remember our strength. Then of course we realise it is now our time to teach.
I wanted to share this story here because There are alot of young people who participate in these forums. You may be away from your family and/or friends or you just may be feeling left out or just plain out of it.. That is ok and quite normal. Let yourself experience your feelings and welcome them. Cry if you need to- laugh when you can- and the ride will change slowly and then before you know it - there will be a new day! You will be wiser and so rejuvenated that you hardly will be able to stand it. I find comfort in knowing that the deeper I go under, the higher I go when I come out of it.
Be safe----Be well!
Happy Holiday's!!!
rj