Page 3 of 13 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 127

Thread: Ever Get irritated with being mistaken for male online?

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Yorkshire
    Beans
    58
    Distro
    Ubuntu 8.04 Hardy Heron

    Re: Ever Get irritated with being mistaken for male online?

    Quote Originally Posted by MetalHellsAngel View Post
    I have had this happen to more times then I can count, I'll be posting in a forum and what not, and it seems to never fail, someone always ends up referring to me as a guy in some manner or another, am I alone in this or does it happen to other woman as well?

    Is it because I'm a bit knowledgeable in computers and enjoy using them, or possibly because I like games (even the occasional FPS, BF2 Anyone?) I just get irritated with it sometimes.

    Opinions, thoughts?

    Angel
    Its happened to me too which I find fairly surprising as my usual internet pseudonym (as in the one I use on here) is quite a feminine one anyway and is actually used in some countries as a girl's name...and yet people still refer to me by the male third person pro-noun *rolls eyes*

    It annoys me greatly that the assumption is that because I post on forums relating to technology that I must be male. (It also annoys me just at much that I see a lot of people on the mental health advocacy forum I contribute to assuming that all people with mental health issues must be female!).

    Personally I tend to refer to people by their usernames until I know which gender they are, thus reducing the likelihood of making the wrong assumption and embarassing myself and annoying the other person.
    Lorelei-

    Life is a learning curve

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Baltimore, MD
    Beans
    13
    Distro
    Ubuntu 8.04 Hardy Heron

    Re: Ever Get irritated with being mistaken for male online?

    How about being mistaken as male in offline?

    Doesn't happen to me anymore, but it used to be a common problem. (For reference, I'm transgendered, and the first 1-1.5 years were hell when I only passed at a distance).

    I could go on for HOURS about my theories on the subject, but I think a large part of it still revolves around the simple assumptions of gender roles that people still have in this day and age. Some people don't realize how viciously enforced gender conformity is, probably because, in a way, it's one of the first things we're subjected to from birth (think about baby clothes and toys, and how many parents may get upset if their male child wants to play with a doll).

    While things have obviously improved as time progressed, there's still a very long way to go in this regard.

    Quote Originally Posted by elizabeth View Post
    I think you'll find a lot of opposition to this unless it's optional. I don't hide my gender, but a lot of women do because they don't want to deal with harassment.

    It's also important to remember that not everyone sees gender in such black and white terms
    THANK YOU, big +1.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Beans
    Hidden!

    Re: Ever Get irritated with being mistaken for male online?

    I dont get mistaken online for a male (refer to the user name - taken from what I get called at work hehe)

    But I too am often mistaken in the street for a guy. Can be annoying especially when I just dress and act the way I do because thats what I am comfortable with!

    I don't hide the fact I am a female, I just don't dress and act like your typical female, and because of that get treated as if there is something wrong with me by people who don't understand that everyone is different and we all have different ways of expressing who we are

    I think most times it depends on how closed minded people are, and unfortunately where I live a large majority of people are closed mind - although people are getting better

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Baltimore, MD
    Beans
    13
    Distro
    Ubuntu 8.04 Hardy Heron

    Re: Ever Get irritated with being mistaken for male online?

    Quote Originally Posted by geekygirl View Post
    I dont get mistaken online for a male (refer to the user name - taken from what I get called at work hehe)

    But I too am often mistaken in the street for a guy. Can be annoying especially when I just dress and act the way I do because thats what I am comfortable with!

    I don't hide the fact I am a female, I just don't dress and act like your typical female, and because of that get treated as if there is something wrong with me by people who don't understand that everyone is different and we all have different ways of expressing who we are

    I think most times it depends on how closed minded people are, and unfortunately where I live a large majority of people are closed mind - although people are getting better
    Heh, before I hit my androgynous phase, I used to do all sorts of crazy things like streak my hair red and black and wore miniskirts and fishnets to the crappy little job I had (customer service, you can imagine the implications there...). And, the town I lived in is one of those stereotypically xenophobic, bigoted, hillbilly towns. So you can guess I know where you're coming from

    Surprisingly, the more confident I was, the more people actually accepted me, knowing full well that I was trans. The surprising part, to me, was that I actually never had a problem from any of the women that came through there (I had a theory that they would be just as bad as the men in the area, like I was 'invading' their gender or something). Nope, just the early-20's guys for the most part, and only in packs. They never had the nerve to talk trash when they were by themselves.

    The advantage to working where I did was the fact that the place was an LGBT mecca for some random reason. I mean, out of 5 employees, at one point we had me (and MTF transgirl), an FTM, a lesbian, and a bisexual girl. The most 'average' of us was a 20yr. old Italian guy, and he was pretty out there as well

    Back to the topic at hand, the only time I ever get mistaken as possibly being male is while gaming these days. World of Warcraft is about the only online gaming I partake in anymore, and the assumption is that anyone playing a female character is MORE than likely to be a guy. Especially if anything of a personal nature pops up in conversation (i.e. signifcant others). They hear I date women, and that reinforces the assumption. If I tell them I'm a lesbian, they tend to think I'm full of beans. Until we're running around in a dungeon and someone ALWAYS has to equate some negative event to 'thats gay'. One of the most FRUSTRATING things ever. Which is why I usually give one warning, then a boot from the group I don't tolerate that noise.
    Last edited by FutanariKitty; October 23rd, 2008 at 10:38 AM. Reason: Blathering on some more. It's 5:40am, so sue me.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    KCMO
    Beans
    210
    Distro
    Ubuntu 14.04 Trusty Tahr

    Re: Ever Get irritated with being mistaken for male online?

    Only all the time. Probably half my fault for using a masculine nickname online... then again, I don't like dealing with all the "OMG there r no women on the interwebz" stuff either.

    I guess I'm just picking the poison that's less likely to throw me into a homicidal rage.
    Desktop: Custom - AMD Athlon X4 Quadcore 4.02GHz, 8GB DDR3, 750GB HDD, 500GB HDD, Win7 x64/Ubuntu 14.04 x64
    Laptop: Thinkpad T61 - Intel Core 2 Duo 2.00GHz, 4GB DDR2, 500GB HDD, Win7 x86/Ubuntu 14.04 x86

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Beans
    13

    Re: Ever Get irritated with being mistaken for male online?

    As I read through this thread, I had to laugh my ar$e off!
    Here is the experience my Wife and I had a few years back:

    My wife has a very heavy online presence, she uses the handle Cricket (As in Jimminy Cricket, kinda an inside joke, cuz I refer to her as my conscience) We run on a lot of the same forums, and have never thought anything of it, one night we happened to be in a chatroom together, and without thinking, when she came in, since it was an informal, general chat, I said "*kiss* Hey babe, how was your day" (I was at work, she was at home). Well...lets just say that the fireworks show was of EPIC proportion! Some of the people that were in the chat, had known each of us for 2-3 years online (but not IRL), all of a sudden, the name calling began (You can imagine the terms that were used, because everyone ASSUMED that she was a he) So when I spoke up and said "You guys DO Realize that Cricket and I are married" Well that started round 2 of fireworks...mostly political about damned Equal rights for (I wont use the term)...the mod (who happens to be a LONGTIME IRL friend of the wife and I came online all of a sudden (I didn't realize that my wife and he had been chatting private as well, and she had OK'd what he did) and posted a pic of my wife (who I must say, even if it's just my personal opinion) is a rather nice looking woman. I couldn't believe the reactions! My wife had to log off because she was getting bombarded with obscene requests and messages.The fact that someone would automatically assume that someone they had chatted with for years was Gay, rather than jump to the conclusion that one of the users was FEMALE *GASP* just boggled my mind.

    I feel for any of you who experience this issue, and HOPE to GODS that people get a clue and realize that THERE ARE GIRLS ONLINE! And a LOT of them ar e cute, and smart, and in some cases, MORE than capable of kicking your ar$e (My wife is working towards her 2nd Blackbelt!)

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Cincinnati, Ohio
    Beans
    Hidden!
    Distro
    Kubuntu 12.04 Precise Pangolin

    Re: Ever Get irritated with being mistaken for male online?

    Quote Originally Posted by scprosser View Post
    As I read through this thread, I had to laugh my ar$e off!
    Here is the experience my Wife and I had a few years back:

    My wife has a very heavy online presence, she uses the handle Cricket (As in Jimminy Cricket, kinda an inside joke, cuz I refer to her as my conscience) We run on a lot of the same forums, and have never thought anything of it, one night we happened to be in a chatroom together, and without thinking, when she came in, since it was an informal, general chat, I said "*kiss* Hey babe, how was your day" (I was at work, she was at home). Well...lets just say that the fireworks show was of EPIC proportion! Some of the people that were in the chat, had known each of us for 2-3 years online (but not IRL), all of a sudden, the name calling began (You can imagine the terms that were used, because everyone ASSUMED that she was a he) So when I spoke up and said "You guys DO Realize that Cricket and I are married" Well that started round 2 of fireworks...mostly political about damned Equal rights for (I wont use the term)...the mod (who happens to be a LONGTIME IRL friend of the wife and I came online all of a sudden (I didn't realize that my wife and he had been chatting private as well, and she had OK'd what he did) and posted a pic of my wife (who I must say, even if it's just my personal opinion) is a rather nice looking woman. I couldn't believe the reactions! My wife had to log off because she was getting bombarded with obscene requests and messages.The fact that someone would automatically assume that someone they had chatted with for years was Gay, rather than jump to the conclusion that one of the users was FEMALE *GASP* just boggled my mind.

    I feel for any of you who experience this issue, and HOPE to GODS that people get a clue and realize that THERE ARE GIRLS ONLINE! And a LOT of them ar e cute, and smart, and in some cases, MORE than capable of kicking your ar$e (My wife is working towards her 2nd Blackbelt!)
    That's nuts....lol. You see my signature however if browse through even some of my recent posts on here you'll see I've have to correct person's who have referred to me as "he" or "Him" sometimes it's as if woman aren't expected to be smart and enjoy the IT world...lol.

    OS: Kubuntu 12.04 LTS|| CPU: AMD Athlon 64x2 || RAM: 3GB DDR2(PC-6400) || Display: NVIDIA GeForce 9400 GT 1024mb

  8. #28
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Beans
    21

    Re: Ever Get irritated with being mistaken for male online?

    Quote Originally Posted by MetalHellsAngel View Post

    Is it because I'm a bit knowledgeable in computers and enjoy using them, or possibly because I like games (even the occasional FPS, BF2 Anyone?)
    I will pay you by the hour to convince my girlfriend to enjoy gaming.

    Back on topic, being a male, I honestly feel embarrassed when accidentally misidentifying the wrong sex online. More of a sad feeling because I feel like I insulted them.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Roanoke, VA
    Beans
    47
    Distro
    Ubuntu 10.04 Lucid Lynx

    Re: Ever Get irritated with being mistaken for male online?

    I guess I'm lucky, I went with an obvious nickname because I was out of ideas and wanted to distinguish myself, and I'm rarely mistaken for a boy unless I'm playing hockey. Funny how that glass ceiling exists not only in technology, but in athletics, I played both college hockey and lacrosse while being an engineer....

    But it does **** me off, but to have that satisfaction of beating a guy on a test who was mouthing off earlier in class, or to seriously embarrass a guy on the ice doesn't get better. My response is I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb, so I better watch my step and be better than average.

    A recent episode that pisses me off: I graduate this May and got a job last Sept. that will pay for my masters and is a leadership rotational program. Told all my friends at college, and they assume its because I'm a girl. Nothing to do with the fact I've worked at this company for over 16 months and each time I left they rehired me within 2 weeks for another rotation, or that different groups argued over who would have me for the summer. It couldn't be the fact that I work my *** of at what I do, and I ask a lot of questions and make sure my work is solid. Must be the ****.

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    San Francisco, California
    Beans
    389
    Distro
    Ubuntu 12.04 Precise Pangolin

    Re: Ever Get irritated with being mistaken for male online?

    Quote Originally Posted by MetalHellsAngel View Post
    I have had this happen to more times then I can count, I'll be posting in a forum and what not, and it seems to never fail, someone always ends up referring to me as a guy in some manner or another, am I alone in this or does it happen to other woman as well?
    Not really, but it is hard to mistake my online name as male.

    Quote Originally Posted by MetalHellsAngel View Post
    BF2 Anyone?
    Hell yes! I still play it....

Page 3 of 13 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •