Joke Thread, esp. Geeky jokes.

[SpenceMakesSense]

Q: How many Windows users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but she/he'll swear up and down that it was TWICE as easy for him as it would be for a Linux user.
A: One to run the wizard , or call support if there is no wizard.

Q: How many Linux users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: sudo apt-get install lightbulb

HAHAHAHAHA...sigh thats funny

spence@spence-desktop:~$ sudo apt-get autoremove windows
[sudo] password for spence: 
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree       
Reading state information... Done
E: If only it was that easy

[lukjad]

Heehee! Good one.

Yucks Digest Sun, 9 Nov 97 Volume 7 : Issue 22

From: "Roberts, Robin"

Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as
business executives. Now follows a rigorous mathematical Proof
that explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows,

Work
---- = Power
Time

Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, we have

Work
----- = Knowledge
Money

Solving for Money, we get:

Work
--------- = Money
Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity
regardless of the Work done.

Conclusion: The Less you Know, the more you Make.
Note: It has been speculated that the reason why Bill Gates
dropped out of Harvard's math program was because he stumbled
upon this proof as an undergraduate, and dedicated the rest of
his career to the pursuit of ignorance.

I have another one like this proving that girls are evil. I'll post it later.

[lukjad]

I had been really working hard at school and it took a ot out of me. One day when I came home all bleary eyed from my latest round of math tests my Mom turned to me with a twinkle in her eye and said: "Son, tell me the truth. Have you been taking derivatives?"

[wildman4god]

Chuck Noris was trying to install Windows on his computer, He got angery that it was taking so long, His anger caused windows to spontaniously change into Ubuntu.

[sydbat]

And thus, it turns into a Chuck Norris thread...simply because Chuck Norris willed it to be so...

[imronak]

[-x Chuck Norris please. He deserves a new thread instead

[lukjad]

Well, if you want to make one you can link to this thread and back.

[gjoellee]

A friend told me: "I prefer Windows because there is much more software for Windows"
I answered: "Yes if you include the anti virus software"
Windows, what are you gonna do about it!?

[klange]

A group of functions are having a party: everyone dancing and having a good time, with the sole exception of a single f(x)=ex who is standing off in the corner by himself. Another function approaches him, hoping to help him enjoy himself more, and asks: “Why don’t you try to integrate?”

In response, the f(x)=ex says dejectedly: “I know it won’t make any difference.”

That would have been funnier if you had actually put e^x. int(f(x)=ex,x) = (ex^2)/2 + c

[tom66]

A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a cafe outside a house. Two people enter the house. Time passes. Three people leave.

The biologist says, "They must have reproduced."
The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate."
The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the house, then it will be empty."

----------

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black."

"No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black."

The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears black from here."

Both from Wikipedia.