Re: GParted scrapped my SD Card, searching a repair utility.
1) As st33med said, it's best to leave removable media in something like FAT32 because if you plug it into another machine, the permissions will not be right for something like ext2.
2) FAT support has been available in linux for as long as I can remember regardless of whether or not you are using Ubuntu.
3) Maybe the problem is with the SD card or, equally likely, your card reader. Is your card reader actually capable of reading SDHC cards? If you were getting segfaults and crashes while trying to partition the card, that sounds like something is fundamentally broken.
4) Calling people, "worthless stupid ignorant wannabe-coders who thought it would be good to publish a trainwreck daemon that could scrap an entire drive in two simple GUI commands" is not a good way to get help. It's probably more insulting still to said programmers that you called gparted a daemon.
Don't try to make something "fast" until you are able to quantify "slow".