One Help Please

[rishabhsagar]

I am a total newbie into the world of Linux.... Here is why I switched to Linux...

I saw this uber cool documentary movie called Die hard 4, and would really like to know the commands in Linux terminal that can achieve the following:

1> Turn off all the monitors at the cyber security division situated at Washington DC through a remote console.

2> How to turn them back on in a minute or so with a voice command.

3> How to get a high definition video feed from all traffic signals in and around my city.

4> Wipe out bank accounts of all my enemies.

5> Crash the stock market, with a couple of commands.

6> Download details of all citizens in my little PDA with flexi keyboard.

7> How to encrypt all of it in a simple matter of few uber cool unix commands

8> How to control the national channels to feed my fav porn flick on air.

9> How to take control of the gas pipelines...

Please be very clear and descriptive in your syntax explanation.

Thanks in anticipation....

[p_quarles]

Do you have the proper packages installed?

sudo apt-get install leet-essential

[NightwishFan]

sudo "make me a sandwich"

All you need to know.

[derekr44]

sudo apt-get install blackhat-ubercool-hax0r-tulz-yo

Have fun storming the castle!

[rishabhsagar]

I have hear that many trolls are giving wrong commands to un suspecting new users like myself.....http://ubuntuforums.org/announcement.php?a=54

I tried punching in these codes in the terminal and here is what I got for all the commands...

HaxorBox#>apt-get install "Make-me-a-sandwitch" gave me the following error:

Error: No internet connection detected. Please check your connection to internet.

So are you guys mis-leading me?? Wait till I learn all about those commands and clean sweep ur bank accounts...

[derekr44]

I have hear that many trolls are giving wrong commands to un suspecting new users like myself.....http://ubuntuforums.org/announcement.php?a=54

I tried punching in these codes in the terminal and here is what I got for all the commands...

HaxorBox#>apt-get install "Make-me-a-sandwitch" gave me the following error:

Error: No internet connection detected. Please check your connection to internet.

So are you guys mis-leading me?? Wait till I learn all about those commands and clean sweep ur bank accounts...

Mine just said 42.

[NightwishFan]

*munches on sandwich* What are you talking about. My box just compiled all the secrets of the universe into a 1byte file while making me this peanut butter with jelly sandwich.

[justsomedude]

Make sure you have the Universe Repositories enabled and try again.

[rishabhsagar]

derekr44, looks like you have all the correct hardware and the graphics drivers installed, Because I have a guide books stolen from my crazy roomies pillow covers that is called "A HITCHhiker's guide to the LINUX world". It says what you have got is the expected result. Looks like I gotta go for some shopping and get some new hardware and RAM.

[derekr44]

Ok, good to know. I guess all your base are belong to me now.