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Thread: Technical problem

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Middle East - Jordan
    Beans
    419
    Distro
    Ubuntu Mate 20.04 Focal Fossa

    Technical problem

    I'm not sure if its the right forum to post in, but a close friend having a problem and he need your help guys

    Dear Technical Support,
    I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
    This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other Programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.
    Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Wrestling 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected.
    Attempting to operate Saturday Football 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead.
    I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications.
    I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help.

    Thank you,

    ___________________________________________

    REPLY FROM TECHNICAL SUPPORT:
    Dear Sir,
    This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from
    Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
    Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be
    Able to purge Wife 1.0 and convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed. Some people have tried to install Girlfriend8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems.
    Having Wife 1.0 installed me I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C: \I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\I APOLOGISE a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal.
    Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0, Chocolates 5.0 or Diamonds 7.0. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary 3.3 (Short Skirt version) as this is not a compatible application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash.
    Regards,
    Technical suppor
    Your freedom is worth more than you think. Take advantage of it while you can.
    I take Ubuntu

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Auckland, New Zealand
    Beans
    55

    Re: Technical problem

    "C:\I APOLOGISE"?

    Any ideas when this will be ported to Ubuntu? or is there a GPL clone? I'm kinda stuck without it.

    Code:
    simon@lurch:~$ sudo apt-get install "I APOLOGISE"
    Password:
    Reading package lists... Done
    Building dependency tree... Done
    E: Couldn't find package I APOLOGISE
    There's nothing in Universe yet

    --Simon
    They moved in tracks of shining white,
    And when they reared, the elfish light
    Fell off in hoary flakes.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Middle East - Jordan
    Beans
    419
    Distro
    Ubuntu Mate 20.04 Focal Fossa

    Re: Technical problem

    Actually its C:/ because such things could happen to windows based mentality user, thankfully linux based mentality users have stable relation just like their stable operating system.
    Your freedom is worth more than you think. Take advantage of it while you can.
    I take Ubuntu

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Phnom Penh
    Beans
    362
    Distro
    Ubuntu 12.04 Precise Pangolin

    Re: Technical problem

    Quote Originally Posted by Jad
    linux based mentality users have stable relation just like their stable operating system.
    Heh.
    Dude - how many of these stable relations are with the operating system? I mean, my friend told me yesterday that he wants apt-get's babies.
    Mr. Flibble's very cross.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Auckland, New Zealand
    Beans
    55

    Re: Technical problem

    Lessons learned from operating systems on relationship problem-solving:

    WIndows: Empty the browser cache (especially of pictures of other um.. ladies) and reboot relationship five or six times.

    Linux: Have you RTFM'd? check the permissions for accessing that particular directory. Is your user allowed to access that file? Try recompiling the relationship with the compiler flags --use-mode="non-grumpy" and --funroll-loops*.

    (* I don't know - it sounds dirty).

    --Simon
    They moved in tracks of shining white,
    And when they reared, the elfish light
    Fell off in hoary flakes.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
    Beans
    Hidden!
    Distro
    Ubuntu 9.10 Karmic Koala

    Re: Technical problem

    Quote Originally Posted by GrumpySimon
    Lessons learned from operating systems on relationship problem-solving:

    WIndows: Empty the browser cache (especially of pictures of other um.. ladies) and reboot relationship five or six times.

    Linux: Have you RTFM'd? check the permissions for accessing that particular directory. Is your user allowed to access that file? Try recompiling the relationship with the compiler flags --use-mode="non-grumpy" and --funroll-loops*.

    (* I don't know - it sounds dirty).

    --Simon


    Thanks for an early morning giggle.... --funroll-loops.... that's great!

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