MySpace and our children..

[adam.tropics]

Ok, so MySpace is often in the news. In Australia at the moment for example, there is one very current and disturbing story in the news.

My daughter for example, apparently because her friends do, has her MySpace page, and I find myself increasingly uncomfortable with it. The stock advice is to make sure the kids don't post personal info, never post self portrait photos, don't give out family details, don't let kids have computers in bedrooms, and the list goes on. But I'll tell you here and now, giving that advice to a 14 year old, well they don't understand it, since if you follow all the rules, then there's little point of having the MySpace account in the first place. I have tried to point both her and her friends towards more traditional blogs, and slightly more careful online behavior, but again, as adults we're just taking the fun out of yadayadayada.... I am lucky in that she is very sensible and incredibly down to earth, but that niggling worry never quite goes does it!

So, apart from the fact that it just a lousy site (opinion) what are your thoughts? Do you allow your kids anywhere near MySpace? Are there alternatives that are safer whilst being able to keep their attention?

[mips]

There are some sickos in the world. You can only do so much in teaching and advising your kids. Locking them in the basement is not a solution either.

[nalmeth]

Do you visit her page yourself? The fact that you do may deter certain unfavorable outcomes.

This might be a different thing to try, but you should make your own MySpace page. If MySpace does friends/contacts, add your daughter to your friends, she may suddenly find it very uncool that her Dad is doing it too.

The problem with that, is that you'll have to sort of pretend you think its cool. It will be very hard to do, but I don't think there is necessarily any other site that would be "safer", and censorship is often immediately counter-productive.

I don't know what I'm going to do when I have kids

[adam.tropics]

Do you visit her page yourself? The fact that you do may deter certain unfavorable outcomes.

This might be a different thing to try, but you should make your own MySpace page. If MySpace does friends/contacts, add your daughter to your friends, she may suddenly find it very uncool that her Dad is doing it too....

Well actually no I don't. I nearly did, but got busted....and with the seriousness that can only be pulled off by a young teenager, I got, "Dad, like, would I read your diary?.." It was, I have to admit, one of those moments (I guess you had to be there!) where with a single response she managed a complete role reversal, giving me the distinct impression I was headed for detention!

Don't get me wrong, to a greater or lesser degree, we all have to trust our kids, and I do. But as the internet has grown, so has the associated risk. Is that any more risk than any other area of life? I don't know. Walking down the street isn't as safe as it was when I was younger, so maybe it's a sign of the times that we just have to be more 'aware' of our environment, and behave accordingly.

[nalmeth]

heh, I see you're in a bit of a hole with that possibility then.

Logic tells you that a diary and a public myspace page are two different things altogether, but I can't say I am familiar with the psychology of your situation

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said awareness. You seem like a very sensible parent, you are already proactive with your concerns. I think most of the more serious problems come when the parents are not productively involved in their child's life.

Best of luck adam.tropics

[BWF89]

I don't have a problem with parents checking their kids MySpaces. I just don't want the government to get involved and try to pass laws that would set a minimum age of 18 for having one. I can't remember the link but I remember seeing news articles of congressmen bringing them up.

I have my full name and various self photos (see myspace.com/bwf89) on my public MySpace. But I'm not really at risk for being stalked by online predators because:
- I'm a guy
- I'm 17, not in my early teens
- Theres nobody in my friends list that I don't see or talk to on a sem-regular basis. Not because I'm afraid of being stalked. I just like to keep my friends list to a minimum so it's easier to look people up.

I make sure not to post anything on there that I wouldn't want people to know or that I could get in trouble for. I think it's incredibally stupid how so many people will post pictures of themselves chugging a beer (their under 21), their drug stashes, enganging in various illegal activities.. You can't get in trouble with the law for just having a picture of them but it could give the police (I'm sure they frequent MySpace) a probable cause to search you if they see you out somewhere and engaged in suspicious activity.

[nalmeth]

I make sure not to post anything on there that I wouldn't want people to know or that I could get in trouble for. I think it's incredibally stupid how so many people will post pictures of themselves chugging a beer (their under 21), their drug stashes, enganging in various illegal activities.. You can't get in trouble with the law for just having a picture of them but it could give the police (I'm sure they frequent MySpace) a probable cause to search you if they see you out somewhere and engaged in suspicious activity.

Sorry to deviate a bit from topic, but this just reminded me of something.
When I was on vacation in Florida I was reading a local newspaper, and I read a very weird article.
The cops had found a MySpace account where the user (based locally) was bragging about smoking pot (nothing more), so the cops contacted the kid (a teenager) attempting to buy weed from him, and when they met him they busted him for trafficking! I couldn't believe it
A 17 year old kid entrapped into a trafficking arrest when it all started from some bragging on MySpace! Sure the kid was stupid to fall for it, but man, is this the type of criminal that is worth pursuing with law enforcement? And it shows just how public your personal page is.
I don't know what happened afterwards in the case, but the mere event was unheard of at least from a Canadian perspective. What got me I guess was that it was presented as routine, daily news.

[Patrick-Ruff]

I agree with one of the posts above, just advise them and teach them the apropriet actions to take, don't control their lives or you'll find you have a scared daughter or a rebel.

[tigerpants]

Ok, so MySpace is often in the news. In Australia at the moment for example, there is one very current and disturbing story in the news.

My daughter for example, apparently because her friends do, has her MySpace page, and I find myself increasingly uncomfortable with it. The stock advice is to make sure the kids don't post personal info, never post self portrait photos, don't give out family details, don't let kids have computers in bedrooms, and the list goes on. But I'll tell you here and now, giving that advice to a 14 year old, well they don't understand it, since if you follow all the rules, then there's little point of having the MySpace account in the first place. I have tried to point both her and her friends towards more traditional blogs, and slightly more careful online behavior, but again, as adults we're just taking the fun out of yadayadayada.... I am lucky in that she is very sensible and incredibly down to earth, but that niggling worry never quite goes does it!

So, apart from the fact that it just a lousy site (opinion) what are your thoughts? Do you allow your kids anywhere near MySpace? Are there alternatives that are safer whilst being able to keep their attention?

Myspace is the internet equivalent of a car crash. I load it up sometimes to point and laugh. I signed up for it once in order to get in touch with an old friend. I got spammed. I keep praying that one day, its servers will catch fire.

[PriceChild]

Personally I cannot stand myspace.

Its horrible visually.
Its not exactly useful?
Its insecure:
- Remember the fiasco with the list of emails and passwords that were leaked?
- Until very recently, you could also see hidden photos despite not being "friends" with the owner.

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