Windows 2006 U.S. Southern Edition

[confused57]

Just received this email today, thought I'd share it for anyone interested...you probably need to be from the U.S. to appreciate:

JUST OUT WINDOWS 2006



Howdy

Dear Consumers:


It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2006 Southern EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the south.


If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands. The Southern EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 2006, with a background picture of Waylon and Willie superimposed on a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"

My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"

Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys" Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"

Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"

Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"

Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up.




CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN Southern EDITION:

Cancel............stopdat

Reset..............try'er agin

Yes...............yep

No................nope

Find...............hunt fer it

Go to............over yonder

Back...............back yonder

Help.....! . ..hep me out here

Stop...............kwitit (WHOA!)

Start............crank'er up

Settings..........settins

Programs......... stuff at duz stuff

Documents...... .stuff ah done did


Also note that the Southern EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2006:


Tiperiter............a word processing program

Colerin' Book.................a graphics program

Cyferin' Mersheen...........calculator

Outhouse Paper................notepad

Inner-net..........! . ....Microsoft explorer 5.0

Pitchers .a graphics viewer



We regret any inconvenience it may have caused. If you received a copy of the Southern EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.




I hope this helps all y'all!


Billy Bob



?



Get er done!

Hope this doesn't offend anyone...I'm from the south, and we don't really talk like that...thought you'd be interested in other "distros" of Windows.

[Brunellus]

If only Microsoft were ever this good at localization.

[bruce89]

Or indeed localisation, they don't even bother with en_GB. I did a Ubuntu 'Weegie one.

[insane_alien]

where can i pick up the 'Weegie one. could be fun.

[hkgonra]

That reminded me of one I saw a while back.

Ebonics Version of Windows '98 Debuts!
Microsoft has announced that its special Ebonics version of Windows 98, titled "It be a fresh Window." It has been leaked to several suburbs, causing confusion for unsuspecting users.

There are numerous differences between Windows 98 and the Ebonics version.

When opening the Ebonics version, the familiar windows chime is replaced With a "phat getto track that melts 'em down wit dope-*** bass," The opening screen features a Windows logo that is spray painted on a brick wall - along with several gangsta signs, slogans and shout outs.

On the main screen, My Computer is replaced with "Dis My ****."

The Recycle Bin has been replaced with a Goodwill dumpster.

If users are logged on to a network, the Network Neighborhood is replaced With "Da Hood."

Users have their choice of two animated screen savers: "Marquee," a lil' G spray- painting dirty words that move across the screen; or "Flying Bullets," a '64 Olds' loaded with gangstas doing a desktop drive by.

Users of the Ebonics version will notice several command and dialogue box changes:
1. Break Back In = Re-entry
2. Aww **** = Error
3. U Betta Recognize = Delete
4. Itz All Good = OK
5. 4 Real Doe =Yes
6. Hold Up, Dawg = Cancel
7. Do Dat **** Again = Reset
8. R U Crazy = Are You Sure
9. Hunt Dat Bitch Down = Find
10. Put A Cap In It = Delete
11. Games & **** = Programs
12. Letter **** = Documents

The Ebonics version comes standard with a special edition of Microsoft Works titled "Homie Essentials."

The word processing program greatly differs from the main-stream program. Several words on the title bar have been changed:
1. Dat Thang = File
2. I Be Seein' It = View
3. Put Sumpin In = Insert
4. Hook It Up = Format
5. Stuff I Ain't gone Need =Tools
6. Number **** = Table
7. Break In = Window
8. What Da F*C@*K@? = Help

Note: "Stuff I ain't gone need" (Tools) does not include spelling or grammar check options, and Auto Correct has been replaced with "Keepin' it Real."